


Mirrors can't see your heart

by niamcuddles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, i never tag anything but, the usual, there will be smut?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-17 14:18:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 154,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3532496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamcuddles/pseuds/niamcuddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changing university had been supposed to make things easier for Liam, he hadn't been planning on getting to know this boy his friends had introduced him to, but most of all, he hadn't been planning on foolishly giving away his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> with usual i mean im gonna give you guys fluff and then later we're all gonna suffer and theres some smut in between to round it off but in the end things will be ok haha.  
> not but seriously, i'm posting this today because it's almost been a month since i last posted and i only have 2 chapters written so far because university is being a bitch (whats new). anyways, i'll be updating as soon as i have chapter 3 ready, and then after that as soon as i have chapter 4 ready and so on. which means i dont know if i can keep the 3 days schedule, but i won't go over a week without an update, promise!  
> also, don't be surprised when the number of chapters increases, you guys know me :p

A very prominent, very disturbing, striking sound was what had Liam jolting awake from his quite uneasy sleep. For a second or two he had no idea what was even going on or where the hell he was, this was certainly not his bed, in fact, those also weren't his curtains because these blinds let way too much light into the room. A room that also didn't really seem very familiar to him.

Considering the loud, annoying peeping noise though, Liam needed longer than he usually would've to use his brain and slowly realize where he was and what was going on, his heart sank a little bit just to start bumping slightly faster than before as things started to make sense again, his tiredness quickly forgotten as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Right, of course this wasn't his room, he was at his new dorm now, for the first night, it made sense that he didn't immediately remember after waking up, hell, he hadn't even fully unpacked yesterday. Yet still, there was one thing Liam was very aware of, and that was that this loud noise should definitely not have been here at 3 am in the morning. It was a fire alarm.

Trying to be quick, Liam pulled the sweatpants on that were lying crumbled up on the end of his bed, thankful that he had gone to sleep in a hoodie, so it only took him about a minute to grab his keys and phone, just in case, and slipping his shoes on before stepping out into the hallway.

The weirdest thing about being here was that Liam knew not a single person even if the hallway was packed with people who obviously all knew each other, not in panic though, even if the given situation would have maybe suggested that, they all seemed just as tired as Liam, but about ten times more annoyed. 

"God, I wish they'd finally fix this fucking alarm, this is the third time this year." Liam heard someone say as he walked past them slowly, not very keen on directly looking at anybody or talking to them, sure he wanted to make friends, but not while looking like he probably did right now. 

Things would've been a lot easier if he had gotten a room on the same floor as Louis or Zayn, but that's what happens when you change university in the middle of the semester, you get the left over room. Not that it was so bad or anything, Liam just wished he would've had someone near him who he knew, and not having to walk outside now between twelve other people who he had never seen before in his entire life.

It was quite cold outside, so Liam was happy for his rather warm clothes, well, at least compared to what everyone else was wearing who had gathered in front of the dorms, some girls in tank tops and shorts, Liam felt quite bad, but he just got onto his tiptoes a bit, trying to spot his friends between all these people. They had to be here somewhere, right?

Yelling wouldn't have helped either, seeing as everyone was talking and then the fire alarm still going off, even though clearly, there was no fire in this building, that's something Liam had figured out already as well, maybe it was like, a test, to see whether it worked in emergencies or something.

"Li! Hey! We're over here!" Thank god, Liam spun around quickly as he heard Louis' slightly amused voice just to see him and Zayn standing a few meters away with some other boy. A very naked looking one.

While approaching them, Liam tried to figure out who that blonde boy was, but he had no idea really, when he had come here yesterday, Louis and Zayn had shown him around a bit, introduced him to some people on their floor, but this kid had not been among them. "Hi, what's going on here? Is this normal?"

"Sounds like they're throwing a welcome party for you, Payno, and everyone came." Louis chuckled before his eyes fell onto this other boy again, who was now jumping up and down with his arms wrapped around his bare upper body, making his sweatpants slipping down even lower on his rather slim hips. Not that Liam had been looking.

"Shut the hell up, Lou, this is no time for jokes, you should be worried about who's gonna be your roommate once I die!" Alright, that blonde boy surely wasn't quiet or shy, he didn't seem as pissed off as cold though, Liam tried not to stare at him too much, but it was difficult when he was being so loud and jumping up and down like a madman. And anyways, what had he just said, was he really Louis' roommate? Why hadn't Liam known that?

"Come on, Niall, it's not even that cold." Louis teased, getting a glare that made him laugh once more as he brought his attention back to Liam, still with that smirk on is face that he always seemed to wear. "Besides, Liam could just be my roommate then."

"I, uh…" Well this was rather awkward, Liam threw a look at Zayn, who had been quiet for now, but he just shrugged instead of saying something, so Liam closed his mouth again, not knowing what to say, he didn't even know whether this Niall boy really was angry or just cold. 

"So that's Liam? Why didn't you say that before?" All of a sudden, Niall stopped jumping up and down, automatically causing Liam to look at him again, seeing the goosebumps on his arms as he let them drop to his sides, exposing his whole, pale upper body. He was skinny, but his muscles were a bit defined, not too much though, it still caused Liam to feel a bit blushed because he had been staring, quickly looking up then to properly look Niall in the face. That didn't make anything better.

"I don't know, I wanted to introduce you two yesterday but you've been gone the whole evening." The fact that Niall knew about him made Liam feel slightly uncfomortable, not as much as realizing how long he had been staring at his face though, it's just, his eyes were disturbingly blue and his messy hair looked really good and-

"Well, we're just gonna meet now then. Hi, I'm Niall, I'm Louis' roommate since a month and he told me lots about you." And then, before Liam could even begin to comprehend this, Niall's facial expression changed a bit, there was a little smile suddenly that threw Liam slightly off track, not so much as the fact that Niall stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him though. Well… 

"I, um… nice to… meet you?" Liam tried carefully, barely even noticing Louis and Zayn cracking up over Niall's shoulder, the boy didn't let go again like expected, in fact, he just kept holding on so Liam somehow automatically hugged back, loosely, because Niall was almost naked and Liam was pretending not to notice. Maybe that's how he treated everyone? Maybe he was just overly affectionate.

"Is it alright if I keep hugging you for a bit, 'm really gonna freeze to death or something." Oh, so it was just because Liam was warm, well, that was fine right, like, it felt a bit weird, to think that they'd stay like this, but what could Liam have done, said no?

"Um, sure…" He would've given the boy his hoodie, but he wasn't wearing anything underneath, so, Liam had no choice really but trying not to look too confused or uncomfortable, and definitely not at Louis because he was just laughing the whole time and sharing looks with Zayn. That was totally not how Liam had imagined his first night to go.

They had to stay out there for a while longer before the fire alarm stopped and the janitor came outside to explain it had just been to test whether it worked and everyone cussed a lot before slowly moving to go back inside, Niall's arms slipping from around Liam's middle after about ten minutes of hugging, it almost felt weird now as he let go, the same smile playing around his lips. "Thanks, mate. Now hopefully I won't get sick."

"Yeah, let's pray he won't, he's a pain in the ass when he's doing as much as coughing once." Louis chuckled before playfully bumping his elbow into Liam's ribcage as they made their way back inside, the other boy pretended it hadn't hurt but it kinda had a little bit, not that he noticed, he was too busy trying to not stare at Niall casually walking next to him without a shirt on.

"That's not even true! I was _really_ sick a few days ago, alright?" Then he let out a huff, he hadn't sounded too annoyed, it was like, he and Louis were just teasing each other without really being serious, they seemed to be pretty good friends and Liam wondered when exactly that had happened. "Anyways, think I won't stay at our room tonight, Louis, now that I'm awake. I'll see you guys around." 

"Play safe." All of this was more than questioning, especially Louis' wink after saying that and how Niall showed him his tongue before disappearing, for some reason Liam hoped that Niall wasn't doing what he thought the boy was up to, but then again, why would he care anyways? "You guys seem to get along, that's great, it'd suck if you didn't."

"We just…" Yeah what? Liam swallowed quickly, hoping his voice sounded rather normal as they entered the building again, he could still feel Niall's arms around him somehow, also could still smell the boy's shampoo, it was kinda weird, not that Liam was scared of touches or so, just… he didn't do it with strangers. "You never told me you had a roommate, Louis."

"I didn't?" He seemed genuinely surprised, thinking about it for a second before shrugging, his arm wrapping around Liam's shoulders casually, as if it wasn't in the middle of the night, as if they were just walking around a bit. "Must've forgotten. He's only been my roommate for a month anyways, but I like him, he's funny, and Zayn and Harry like him too."

Oh, so they were like… a group thing, now Liam felt weird, like, he had known Zayn and Louis since high school, they were his best friends, but they had gone to different unis for a few months, until yesterday of course. Liam had met Harry a few times too, he was Louis' boyfriend which had seemed quite weird to Liam at first because they had basically hit it right off, started dating after only a few weeks of knowing each other, but they were together and they were happy so Liam wasn't questioning anymore, he liked Harry anyways, he didn't live on campus though but with his family because this was his home town. "Yeah, um… I only just met him so… why's he your roommate?"

"Well, you know I had a single room like Zayn but then I met Niall and we got along well and he told me about his roommate who is an complete ass and that he couldn't find anyone who wanted to switch with him because his friends were all in double rooms as well, so I told him I could do it because I didn't mind, so yeah." He shrugged, they were almost on his and Zayn's floor now, which Liam kinda dreaded, he had class tomorrow, for the first time, he was slightly nervous since he didn't know anyone.

"What about Harry though? Like…" If Louis didn't have a room to himself anymore then they couldn't exactly … _do_ anything with Niall sleeping next to them, could they?

"I sleep at Harry's house a lot, and Niall's not that often in our room anyways, he's got lots of friends and if they're busy then… let's just say, he knows a lot of people on a lot more private basis than normal." Oh.

"So before when he left, did he-"

"He's slept with the whole dorm." Zayn suddenly threw in, but he just shrugged as Liam's jaw dropped a little, it hadn't sounded like he was disgusted by it, it had been a simple statement.

"He didn't sleep with the whole dorm, Z, he slept with a few people, that's it. You know, he's the kinda cliché popular guy, which makes sense, 'cos he really is funny and nice, so, you're gonna like him too, Li." Well, Liam didn't mind if Niall slept around, he just felt a bit weird now, like… he didn't want to understand so clearly why everyone would like Niall, or sleep with him, because he looked very… yeah. Not that Liam would sleep with him, he just got why some people might find the idea appealing. "I'm gonna go head back to bed, see you guys tomorrow or so? Text me when your classes are over, Li, I can show you around." 

"Alright, goodnight, Lou." The weight around Liam's shoulder disappeared as Louis took off while Liam and Zayn remained in the staircase for a second, Liam had thought Zayn would leave too but he waited for a bit instead, studying Liam's face before smiling slightly.

"I'm glad you decided to move here too, you know. I missed you." Immediately, Liam felt a whole lot better, the knots in his stomach loosened a little as he returned Zayn's smile, for a moment forgetting about all the things going on, he was just happy he was with his best friends again, this is what he should've been doing all along. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just…" He didn't want to complain, but Zayn wouldn't have asked without a reason and he knew Liam well so the other boy shrugged a bit, running a hand through his hair as he lowered his eyes quickly. "I'm just a bit nervous, that's all, it's like… I gotta get used to being here first I guess."

"You do. And you'll be fine, Li, don't worry about it, and you got me and Louis, right? It's gonna be great to have all of us back together, you'll see." Yeah all of them and Harry, which was perfectly fine, but Liam was slightly worried about Niall for some reason, he didn't know what it was, it wasn't that he judged the boy for having fun, it was something else and Liam couldn't put his finger on it. 

"Yeah… thanks, Zayn. I'll go back to bed I think, see you tomorrow?" Now that Liam felt better maybe he could get a few hours of sleep, it'd be nice if this fire alarm wasn't a normal thing here because he wasn't a very heavy sleeper anyways, it took him hours to just drift off.

"Alright, sleep well, Li. Good luck for tomorrow." Zayn pulled him in a hug before he left Liam in the staircase, only for a few seconds though because it was weird being here in the middle of the night when everyone else had gone back to their rooms, so Liam hurried up two more floors, relieved that he hadn't forgotten to take his keys.

It had been a weird day all along, he still had to do some unpacking tomorrow, after classes of course, he didn't want to immediately text Zayn and Louis once he was done, like, he didn't mind being by himself for a while and also, he didn't want to rely on them too much either, they had a lot more friends here than Liam probably, his fault for only changing universities now.

Still, it was comforting to be around his best friends again, and to know that they were somehow happy about Liam being there too, it helped him falling back asleep a little while later, though it was gonna be a short night, Liam appreciated every minute he got.

 

——————

 

"Alright everyone, you can leave, don't forget the homework that's due by next week. And Payne, a word?" Finally, the last class of the day was over, Liam felt a bit weird as the professor spoke to him in front of everyone, but he still nodded anyways before stuffing his things back into his bag, slowly making his way to the front then from his seat in the back, waiting for the classroom to clear out of the other students. "So, how was your first day?"

"Good, thank you, sir." Well, it hadn't been that great, but Liam had enjoyed most of the classes and though he hadn't really talked to anyone besides two people to ask for the way, he didn't mind too much, he hadn't been friends with a lot of people at his old uni either, it was fine.

"Okay, so, I just wanted to make sure to let you know that I've read some of your stuff and I must say, I'm very happy to have you here, I think if you keep this up then you're gonna have great chances of being able to do just what you want after uni. And if you have any questions or whatever, don't be shy to ask, alright?" Okay, this was a lot better than Liam had expected, he was able to smile a bit, feeling proud of himself, even if maybe that was stupid but he sometimes got a bit worried and so it was nice to hear this. And on his first day too.

"Thank you so much." Maybe moving had had more good sights than Liam had thought, he said goodbye to his professor, almost taking his phone out to text Zayn or Louis right away, or both, but he settled for leaving it in his pocket instead, readjusting the strap of his backpack a bit, just enjoying that all his classes were over for the day and that none of his worst fears had come true.

The campus was really big, the building alone was massive, but then they had all these extra extensions and the dorms and a really big sports field and Liam was sure he would still see new things here even after a week. Louis and Zayn had shown him around a bit yesterday, which hadn't helped very much today when he had been looking for the right rooms, so he decided to simply look around by himself for a while, he could still text his friends later, no need to be overly clingy. 

Since it was a rather nice and sunny day, a lot of people were outside, studying or just for the sake of it, also a few faces that Liam had seen in his classes today or in the hallways of the dorm, it would've been a good day to socialize probably, since he'd have to do it at some point, but Liam then decided that it could wait, tomorrow in class maybe, not now.

So instead of sitting down somewhere or trying to make some friends, he just walked around the campus for a while, trying to remember the way so he would find back later but he probably wouldn't. He also considered calling his mum but decided against it, he could still do that tonight, plus he had seen her just yesterday so there was nothing new to talk about really.

When Liam found himself at the sports field he considered turning around and going back, but there were quite a few people sitting in the stands doing whatever even if the football team was having a training so Liam decided he could sit there as well. He had nothing to do after all, he could just look through his books and see whether he had studying to do for any of his classes and if he was behind. It'd be nicer to do it here anyways than in his dorm room where he still had unpacking to do, he had the whole evening to do that, maybe Louis or Zayn would come hang out a bit later, but Liam didn't want to ask just yet.

For a while, he just watched the football team training and listened to their trainer yelling at them, they were a bit further away so Liam couldn't really see their faces or anything and once they started running laps he was too busy with this one book that he didn't even notice them anymore, also not when they all started leaving the field because they were done. Well, all but one.

Liam did kinda see him from the corner of his eyes but he had no idea who it was, a football player, yes, but Liam never considered that he might know him, or that he himself was the reason why the other guy was stepping from bench to bench just to get up to Liam. It was only when he dropped down right next to him that Liam flinched so much he almost dropped the book. What the hell, who even… oh. "Hey, Payno. What's up?"

It was Niall, in full gear, his face was dirty and sweaty from the training, some hair sticking to his forehead, but he was smiling brightly, and his nose was red, it looked a lot like a sunburn which was honestly the last thing Liam was worried about though, he was way too surprised. "I, um, hi… nothing, I guess… how do you… know my last name? And my nickname?"

"From Louis and Zayn of course." He laughed and it sent shivers down Liam's spine for some reason, he felt a bit intimidated next to Niall and he had no idea why, he wasn't normally like this, but this boy was just so smily and bubbly and straight forward. Also, last night… "So, did you watch the training?"

"Not really, I was just… reading." Wow, that sounded boring, but then again, why would Liam care if Niall got bored, he didn't even know him at all, also, he didn't really look like a football player when he wasn't wearing all this stuff, like not that Liam was able to remember last night that well, but. 

"Oh. Well, maybe you should still try out for the team." Wait, what?

"Um, I'm not really into team sports…" Not at all actually, Liam had never played any sports really, the only thing he had done once a while was playing footie with Louis and he went for runs, but by himself. "Not sure if I'd qualify anyways."

"Sure, you would, you look like you do lots of sports." Had that been a compliment? Liam didn't want to turn his head to check, he just snorted before taking his backpack to slip his book back inside, just to have something to do with his hands. "I'm being serious though. I mean we're not that good anyways, I just do it for fun, we all are besides our trainer, he's nuts." Niall let out a laugh, licking his lips as Liam accidentally looked over, quickly pretending to be staring at something completely else. "Maybe you wanna think about it though, it's also a good way to get to know more people and since you're new, you know."

"Yeah, I… I'm gonna think about it." For about five seconds and those were over already, so…

"Awesome." For some reason, Niall really did seem to think that this was awesome, he put his hand on Liam's shoulder suddenly, a bit too hard, but he let go really quickly again before jumping back to his feet, he seemed to have a bit too much energy. "So, I'm going back to the dorms, are you going too?"

Well, Liam had no idea what else he was gonna do or how long he had even sat here, plus he was nodding before even thinking about it and Niall's smile was way too big as to say no, so he slowly got up as well, slinging his backpack over one shoulder while watching Niall jumping from one bench to the other down the stands. He was like a child a bit, he was having way too much fun while doing this, or maybe he was just one of those people who were always happy and always laughing, he probably was, judging by what Louis and Zayn had said about him last night, it'd fit really well. Had he really slept with so many people?

"Sorry for looking like this, I'm probably really smelly too." He laughed yet again once Liam had come back down as well, shrugging a bit because he hadn't noticed anything, his mind was somewhere else and anyways, it'd be kinda weird to agree or to say no. "So what are you majoring in?"

"Journalism." Hadn't he said Louis had told him so much about Liam? If it hadn't been the usual then WHAT exactly had he told Niall? "Um, you?"

"Maths." Well that was a surprise, Liam actually looked over to check Niall's face as they were walking next to each other, to see whether he had been joking, but his face was suddenly serious, so Liam didn't wanna jump to conclusions and think that someone who did football and was popular couldn't be good at maths.

"Oh, well, that's great, I… I suck at maths." He really did, Liam didn't think he was good at anything besides writing really, so it was convenient that his professor had told him he was somewhat good before because he really didn't know anything else to do.

"Yeah, me too." Niall sighed before suddenly looking right at Liam's face and bursting out into laughter, like really loud too, a few people walking past even stared at them, even more when Niall punched Liam's shoulder playfully. "I was just joking, you should've seen your face. I'm majoring in psychology, I'm not that good though and I know what you're probably thinking now and let's just say… you're right."

"I… what am I thinking?" Liam had no idea really, he also didn't know when Niall had become a mind reader, he actually found it was pretty cool that the other boy was majoring in psychology, but of course he didn't say that.

"That I'm lazy and that I don't study, and it's kinda true, I mean, I'm not that good at concentrating on things for too long, you know. Like not that I have anything or so, it's just me." He shrugged, suddenly waving at someone fifty meters away or so, smiling brightly at that person too, as if they could see him that well from that distance.

"I wasn't thinking that." That wasn't even a lie, Liam had been thinking nothing at all besides that he felt slightly weird for walking next to Niall when everyone knew the blonde boy and greeted him and smiled at him and then they looked at Liam and seemed to be confused, he couldn't even blame them. "I mean… you're good at football, so that's something."

"You weren't even watching!" His laugh was so bright, it almost caused Liam to crack a small smile, but he settled for lowering his eyes a bit instead, he knew why Niall was being so nice to him, one, he apparently was nice to everyone, but then two, he knew that Louis was Liam's best friend so that kinda made sense. Maybe Louis had told him that Liam didn't have so many friends and that Niall should go and be nice to him, hopefully that wasn't the reason though, that'd be awkward. 

"You got on the team though." Liam defended himself, not knowing why exactly they were even having this conversations, but Niall had kinda forced it to happen, not Liam's fault.

"Almost everyone gets on the team, as long as you can run a round around the field." Chuckling, Niall waved yet at someone else, they were almost at the dorms now and Liam thought about whether he really wanted to go inside yet, he kinda had to while Niall was there, but he could maybe leave again as soon as the other boy was gone. "But thanks anyways for the complement, I'd rather be good at something else though. Something useful. Like maths."

Well, Liam couldn't really help him with that, he also didn't know what to say so he stayed quiet, which turned out to be no problem because they were already entering the building and walking towards the staircase, a few more people passing them by who probably were Niall's friends, they all said something to him, smiled, it was a bit weird, he really did seem to know the whole campus. 

"What's your room number?" Maybe he was just asking so it wouldn't get awkward if they stayed silent, probably.

"546. Why?" Liam couldn't help but ask, it felt a bit weird that Niall would ask this, but the other boy just shrugged anyways, running his fingers through his still sweaty looking hair, smiling once again. He had a very nice smile, that was undeniable, also that his looks were very distracting, Liam could admit that to himself, even if he was secretly embarrassed for even thinking that.

"Just asking." So he had just asked to be polite because he shrugged and Liam got it, it was fine, it probably really had been Louis who had set Niall up to do this, who knows. "Okay, so, my room's over there, as you probably know. I'll go have a shower, but you know, if you ever need anything or so, and Zayn and Louis aren't around you can come to me, yeah? See you around!"

"Okay, I… thanks, Niall. See you." The problem was, Niall really was nice, he waved at Liam with a smile before walking away, but this whole thing had really just been more than strange, like… how had Niall even seen Liam from where he had had training? Maybe while running past or something, but then the fact that he had decided to come up so they could talk, like even if Louis had told him to be friendly to Liam, Niall could've just left without Liam noticing. Or maybe that was just him, considering he had greeted every person walking past, maybe tomorrow it'd be someone else, probably.

Liam decided to go to his room after a second of considering it, now that he was here he could as well start to unpack and maybe decorate his room a bit, surely that'd help to familiarize himself with the place. It's not that he hated it so much here, he just sometimes had a bit of trouble with change in his life. Good thing he had had two really big ones within a few months.

Still, being here was already better than at his old uni, so Liam decided to look at it from this view as he walked past a few people on his floor talking, he thought about saying hi but then didn't do it because they seemed to be really into their conversation and he didn't want to come off as weird.

His room was really small, which wasn't the problem really, the bigger problem was that the showers and toilets were on the hallways, unlike in his old dorm where he had only shared them with one other person, but Liam would live probably, Louis and Zayn had gotten used to it, he would too. Plus this seemed like a very small price to pay if in return he felt better all around.

Before he did anything about the stuff in his room that still didn't have a place, Liam decided to check his phone, kinda hoping that one of the others had texted him, but there was just a message from his mum asking how his first day was going. It was only a little bit disappointing, like, they probably still had classes, plus Zayn always forgot to text so Liam didn't take it personally, he had a lot of stuff to do here anyways.

So after shortly texting his mum back he started to first of all fill in his closet, lucky him he didn't have that many clothes because the size of any of his storage was very limited, but then again, this dorm also cost a lot less than the last one so it made sense.

When Liam was busy deciding whether it'd be childish do put posters up or not, there was a knock on his door that almost had him stumbling over his suitcase lying behind him. That was probably Louis, like, who else would knock so many times in a row, not Zayn, and then that were all the options there were. "One second."

Liam quickly put the poster he had been holding down onto his desk, needing a bit longer to get to the door because he had to step over a lot of things lying around on his floor that still needed a place, maybe Louis was here to help, that'd be nice because Liam could really need a second opinion.

"Sorry, I t-…oh." Opening the door though did not turn out like expected at all, unless Louis had suddenly died his hair blonde and changed all of his facial features as well as his height and type of clothes, that definitely looked a lot like Niall instead. What was he doing here? "I um… I thought you were Louis."

"Sorry to disappoint." Niall chuckled, his face was clean again, and his hair still damp but probably from the shower now, his nose was still a bit red and he was wearing comfortable looking clothes now, his tank top revealed a bit much but Liam was more worried about how much he noticed about the other boy within five seconds of looking at him.

"You're not, just… I didn't… I'm just surprised." Yeah, that was the right word, Liam didn't really need anyone pretending to be his friend because Louis had told them so, but he also didn't want to say that in case he was wrong, so he just said nothing at all, waiting for Niall to explain.

Instead, he confused Liam even more. "Sorry, I was just wondering if maybe you wanna hang out? Like, what are you doing, can I come in?"

Now this was more than strange, Liam's jaw almost dropped to be honest, his eyes widening automatically and he had to clear his throat but other than that, he thought he kept it pretty well together if he just ignored that smile on Niall's face. "Actually, I'm just, like, unpacking, so I don't know, it's not much fun I guess."

"Oh, have I not told you, I got a degree in decorating rooms." And with that joke, Niall simply entered Liam's room, almost promptly falling over a box, but he kept his balance somehow, a giggle leaving his mouth that Liam felt in his bones. This was not gonna turn out well, he could feel it now, he shouldn't have let Niall inside, but instead of doing something about it, he just closed the door again, watching the blonde boy scanning his room for a second."You really do need a room decorator, my friend."

"I guess I do…" Liam took a deep breath, now that Niall was here with his disturbingly bright smile and good mood and Liam wasn't gonna find out what the reason was behind all of this, he figured that he could just play along, so at least it wouldn't get awkward. "So… what do you recommend?"

Niall shot him the brightest of all smiles before hopping over an empty box, standing in front of Liam's empty wall, inspecting it as if though he really was some professional or an inspector while Liam just stood there uselessly, suddenly questioning all of his life choices at once. "Were you gonna put these up?"

"What? Oh… yeah, I… I didn't know if I should, because-"

"You should." The other boy had been referring to the posters on Liam's desk, sounding pretty firm as he looked at them, like, maybe he was setting Liam up for failure here and giving him false advice, but then again, it wasn't as if that many people would be coming into this room anyways. "But don't use tape or they're gonna have you repaint this whole wall in a few years.

"Okay, thanks for the tip, uh… " Well, Liam was just gonna have to believe this boy, Niall seemed to be pretty honest, like, not that Liam would know but usually he assumed the best about people if they hadn't proven him otherwise, it's just in this situation, he would've really liked to know how much influence Louis had had on the blonde boy.

He did put up the posters though, of course, while Niall sat on the edge of the desk and gave him suggestions like 'More left, no that's too much, more down, or no, sorry, I meant up' and Liam didn't know why but he just took all the advice and did exactly what he was told, almost forgetting how strange this whole situation was once he stepped back as they were done. It really didn't look bad at all. "Looks awesome, so what's next? You got anything else to put up, like decoration wise? It's kinda depressing living in an almost empty room, I thought I could do it, but after one week I went out and bought tons of shit." There was the laughter again, he seemed to enjoy babbling about stuff while Liam went through another box to get his DVDs out, because he figured they could work as decoration too somehow. 

"Yeah, I… I didn't bring too much, but once everything is unpacked I'll see what I'm missing… you…" Liam's voice drifted off as he looked up and saw Niall going through his stuff too, he almost blushed before remembering that all his underwear was already in the closet, there was no need to be embarrassed about anything, it was just weird that Niall seemed to be enjoying himself. "You know if you're bored, then-"

"'m not bored at all." Alright… "I mean if you want me to go it's fine, you can tell me, I can take it. But I figured I wanna get to know you better."

"Oh… why?" Liam's hands felt a bit sweaty, the DVDs almost slipped out of his hands actually, but he forced himself to put them on the shelf, with his back to Niall, just in case.

"Because I'm really good friends with your friends, I figured we should get along too." Right, of course that was it, not Liam's personality or anything, why would it, he was so boring, there was nothing about Liam that was interesting, he didn't even have a secret, dark past or anything, there was nothing. "Oh, sick! Can I have one of these?!"

Turning around with his mind still working fast, Liam just nodded before even properly looking, but Niall was just holding a bag of some candy his mum had given to him yesterday, obviously something that would've been off better to give to Niall because five seconds later his mouth was full and he seemed pretty pleased with the outcome of this situation. At least one of them, because Liam still had to figure some things out here. 

They were able to work next to each other for a bit without much talking, well, Niall did talk, but he seemed to not expect an answer seeing as it were just things like 'Oh, wow, that's cool' and 'Can I borrow that sometime' to which Liam made a few undefinable noises before going back to his task and unpacking stuff. Like, after a while it didn't even bother him anymore that this boy he did not know at all was here going through all of his stuff, what'd it matter anyways, it's not like Niall could do anything, they weren't even friends and 99% of the people here had never even seen Liam before.

"So… why'd you move here?" While Niall asked he was busy going through every single one of Liam's DVD's, completely bringing them out of the order the older boy had put them in before, but he bit his tongue, not saying anything and instead continuing to put his books onto the shelf, glad that Niall was probably not gonna show any interest in those too. Like not to be mean, but he didn't seem like he enjoyed reading at all. Not that he seemed to be dumb or anything, just… he had said it himself, he didn't like concentrating on one thing for too long.

"I… I missed my friends and… my other uni just didn't turn out like I thought it would and it was like really far away from home and I was…" Yeah, this was getting pathetic, like Liam was literally an open book to everyone, a pretty boring one to top it off, he kinda stopped talking randomly, also because he thought Niall wasn't listening anyways and for half a minute or so Liam actually thought he had been right, just to be even more surprised when Niall did answer after all.

"…Lonely?" He finished Liam's sentence all of a sudden, his voice had gotten a bit softer for some reason, but the other boy refused to look up to check Niall's face, his cheeks heating up a bit as he shrugged a bit helplessly, not really wanting to agree, or say anything at all to be honest. Niall seemed to get it for some reason, maybe he wasn't just laughter and smiles after all, for a few seconds at least. "But you got your friends now, right? So it'll be better, and everyone is really nice here, like I barely meet anyone I don't get along with."

"I heard that…" No idea why this slipped out of Liam's mouth, he didn't mean to make fun of Niall or make him mad, he wanted to take it back the same second it was out, but Niall was already laughing for some reason.

"Well, whatever it is you heard…" Then he stopped and Liam risked a look at the blonde boy, just to see whether he was mad or anything, but in fact he just shook his head once before shrugging, a very cheeky grin on his lips as he dead on stared into Liam's eyes for a second. "It's probably true."

And then he almost gave Liam a face red as a tomato by winking at him before pretending that nothing had ever happened. What was wrong with him? Had he just admitted to having slept with half the dorm? And what exactly was he trying to achieve by winking at Liam right afterwards, was he alright? Probably not, but Liam didn't know what to say or do so he kept his mouth shut, going back to his previous task and hoping very much that he wouldn't burst out with something as dumb as this again. Just because Niall didn't seem to have a problem talking about it, Liam couldn't go around implying these kinda things, that had been really rude, but sadly, he had no courage left to apologize.

Niall stayed for another 45 minutes or something, it was better after Liam had internally calmed down again, and they surprisingly talked about some rather normal things like some professor they both had, and then at one point Niall took his phone out, reading something before chuckling and shoving it back into the pockets of his sweatpants. "Alright, I think I should go now, I still got somewhere to be. And I mean, your room looks a lot better now, and no worries, I'm gonna take last night as payment for my recommendations today."

"Oh… right." Liam had almost forgotten about last night, a bit surprised by Niall's sudden decision to go, he pulled his sweatpants up a bit further as he walked towards the door, his tank top now 1 centimeter away from flashing Liam. Not that he would've noticed anyways right. "Well, thank you and I'm glad… I could help and… that you didn't get sick. Yeah."

"Me too, Payno." Hearing this nickname out of an almost stranger's mouth was slightly weird, but Niall didn't seem to notice or anything, he just chuckled for the fiftieth time today before reaching for the door handle, throwing another glance over his shoulder though. "I think Louis wanted us all to go hang out sometime, with Harry, so see you soon."

Before Liam could do as much as say a very stupid sounding 'Okay' and wonder how many times Niall had met Harry, the blonde boy was already gone, just like he had come, it almost seemed like some sort of imagination now, like there was no way this had all just happened, was there? 

Well, Liam's wall alone was proof for that, he actually had to sit on his bed for a few minutes afterwards to let this sink in, like, this was all so weird, now instead of hanging out with his friends he had spent most of his time with some random boy who had giggle fits all five seconds. Not that he was so annoying but why would he wanna hang out with Liam if he had so many friends, and also it got Liam a bit worried, like, he had never heard the name Niall in his life yet all of his friends seemed to be hanging out with him constantly. 

They probably liked Niall a lot more than him, not that Liam could've been mad about that because he really did understand that, it was just a bit depressing to think about all of them hanging out and whether he would see everyone getting along besides him. But yeah, he didn't want to jump to any conclusions, Louis and Zayn had always been his best friends, they wouldn't just replace him, they were just nice to everyone so of course they had other friends too. Which was… not that much of a calming thought.

In fact, Liam almost had to force himself to put his phone away so he wouldn't text Louis, he didn't even know why, but after about ten seconds of hesitating he had already sent his best friend a text asking whether he was busy or not. Just so his slightly upbuilding anxiety wouldn't take the best of him, he wasn't usually like this but he had just moved here and it was all new and besides, they had told him to text them, right?

Still, he needed a few minutes before he could actually check his phone after it vibrated as he received an answer, his chest feeling a lot less heavy as he realized that Louis had decided to come over within under a minute. Good, maybe now he could tell Liam what exactly he had told Niall about him, or whether he had forced the blonde boy to do this, who knows.

Since Louis always needed at least 15 minutes longer whenever he said 'be there in five', Liam used the chance to think of how to best begin this topic, he actually thought of some really clever ways to do it kind of casually, but of course the second he opened his door to let Louis in, it all vanished into thin air. Great. "Hey, Li, why'd you only text me now? It's like 4 pm, how many classes did you have?"

"Um… I was just unpacking a bit and stuff, you know." Oh, Louis actually did seem confused about Liam not having told him sooner, that was something at least. "Sorry, I didn't know you were waiting for me to text you."

"I told you last night, Liam!" But he let out a short laugh, shaking his head a bit as he walked past Liam to enter his room, immediately taking a surprised look around. "Hey, that looks a lot better, not so empty anymore, better than my room actually. Niall's the messiest person on this planet."

"Is he…" Liam mumbled to himself under his breath, not for Louis to hear of course as he closed the door, fiddling his fingers a bit as he went to sit back down on the edge of his bed. "You know actually… I wanted to ask you something."

Clearly, that had been the worst method to start this because Louis immediately turned around to face him, the smile draining off his face as it got replaced by worries. Was Liam really sounding so nervous? "What's wrong? Did anything happen, like do you want me to go punch someone or-"

"No, no, that's… that's not it." Sighing a bit, Liam quickly stared down at his feet as he felt the mattress give in a little bit next to him, well aware of Louis' stare, maybe he should've texted Zayn instead, he wasn't always jumping to conclusions like this, he just listened first.

"Then what's the matter? You know, if you don't feel okay then I'm sure Niall wouldn't mind sleeping somewhere else and you can sleep in my room if you want." Wow, would he really do that? Liam felt really bad now for everything he had worried about before, of course Zayn and Louis weren't just gonna abandon him, what had he even been thinking?

"No, it's okay, Lou, but thanks, really." He brought himself to a small smile, quickly looking away again once he realized his best friend still had that worried look on his face, if Louis only knew what he was about to say, he'd probably be laughing instead. "It's just… what exactly did you tell Niall about me?"

"Niall?" The change of topic seemed confusing for the other boy, he studied Liam's face for a second, seemingly relaxing a bit before simply shrugging. "Not much, I told him that you, me and Zayn have been in high school together and that we're best friends, nothing else really, maybe some random things, but I can't remember really. Why are you asking?"

"Just because, uh…" Right, now Liam had to say it, he really didn't even know why he was embarrassed at all, like, what was there to hesitate, right? He could just say it, even if his hands felt a bit too sweaty. "Just because I was like, walking around a bit after class and I didn't know Niall was in the football team, but he saw me on the stands and he came to me after training and then we walked back to the dorms together, but like… he went for a shower and then suddenly he came to my room and asked if we could hang out and then he helped me unpacking. I mean… that's a bit weird, isn't it?"

"Why is that weird?" Okay, alright, bad idea, all of it, Liam wished he could disappear in that hole in his wall that he had discovered before, the fact that Louis seemed so confused was honestly causing his cheeks to burn. 

"I-I don't know… I mean he doesn't even know me and I'm not really… " The kind of person you'd expect Niall to hang out with, yeah.

"Liam." It sounded very serious, which was exactly why Liam kept his eyes straight down, almost tensing up when he felt an arm wrapping around his shoulders. "Just say what's bothering you so I can tell you that you're wrong."

"You don't even know that." Rolling his eyes, Liam took a deep breath, he was even more confused than ever, for some reason he found it very hard to believe that anyone would randomly want to hang out with him, but then someone like Niall, that was even stranger. "It's just weird, like, you said he's really popular and I noticed that, but then he randomly came to my room and said we should get to know each other better since we have the same friends and…"

"That is literally the least weirdest thing ever, Liam. Niall's a nice guy, I told you, and he's right, it'd be great if you guys got along well so we can all hang out together, which we really should because Harry said he wants to see you too, so how about tomorrow?" See, that was why Liam could've spared himself the embarrassment, because literally nothing was coming out of this. He didn't really know whether he could believe Louis, that he really hadn't told Niall something like 'take pity on him' or so, but then again, why would Niall have agreed to doing any of this? Maybe he really just was a nice guy.

"I guess tomorrow would work." Not like he had anything to do, Liam suppressed another sigh before simply getting up, slipping out from underneath Louis' arm, feeling a bit uneasy now whenever he looked at his wall… or at his DVDs, like, hopefully this would go away soon, Liam had enough on his plate with all the moving and trying to get used to all this, he didn't need Niall bouncing into his life giving him even more things to worry about.

"Good. It's gonna be fun, I've been looking forward for it being all the five of us, like, we never had that, and we can have it all the time now, it's awesome." Louis seemed to be really excited about this and stupidly enough, Liam once again couldn't keep his mouth shut while pretending to be cleaning his room some more.

"I didn't know you guys and Niall get along _that_ well." Yeah, that had sounded rather stupid, but it was out before Liam could help himself. "You never told me about him. And neither did Zayn."

There was no answer for some reason, so Liam turned around even if he really did not want to do that at all, almost stumbling back into his shelf because Louis had gotten up as well, standing so close that Liam almost had a heart attack. "Is that it?"

"What?" Great, now Liam had fucked up even more, even though Louis' smile kinda didn't fit, but honestly, Liam wasn't mad that they hadn't told him, he had just been surprised.

"Are you mad that we befriended a hyperactive, talkative, football player?" Saying it like this… 

"No, I'm not mad, I'm just surprised, because he's so totally different than all of us, or seems to be, I don't know, I don't know him well enough." But Liam had a feeling that he would soon, like how could he have avoided this anyways, he hadn't even managed to do it for one day. "But it's fine, I was just ask-"

"Come on, Li, you know we love you and that's not gonna change, okay?" Awesome, now they were getting emotional here, all because Liam was an idiot, but he it did feel quite nice to be told and then being pulled into a hug, like, at least his doubts from before had completely vanished. "You'll see that Niall is great and he really does fit in with us. Just don't let him get into your pants."

"Ha, ha, ha." Louis chuckled right into Liam's ear, still hugging him a bit too tightly, but it was fine, it eased Liam's worried knowing he wasn't alone, even when their conversation was on a topic like this. 

"And if you do then don't fall in love with him like this girl two doors down the hall, it wasn't pretty." Yeah, right, as if that was ever gonna happen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay i'm still in time with the writing, enjoy :D

The next day went a bit better than the first, Liam actually talked to some people in his classes and they were all quite nice, at least no one seemed like he absolutely despised Liam after 5 minutes of meeting so that was good. It's not that that ever happened because usually he was just really quiet and didn't really do anything, but he had been teased quite a lot during middle school. But since he was 19 now, that seemed like a lifetime ago already.

In his last class for the day, Liam tried to pay extra much attention because of what his professor had said to him yesterday, but also a little bit because he was slightly nervous and wanted to distract himself. This morning Zayn had texted him to tell him that he should come to Louis' room after he had off so that they could all go to Harry's together and hang out. With Niall and Harry of course, hopefully this wasn't gonna be as weird as Liam thought it would be.

"Okay, so, I know you all wanna leave, but first of all I need to tell you what your homework will be. Or project more like, because I'm gonna give you a month to do it." There was a visible tension in the class suddenly, Liam could almost hear everyone groaning internally, but they all stayed quiet, waiting for their professor to keep talking, and he did, while smiling a bit, that couldn't mean anything good. "So, I want you all to find someone on campus you don't know that well and I know I'm gonna hear all the 'we're not five anymore' now, but this isn't for the purpose of getting to know someone. I mean it is, but not in that sense. I want you to spend some time with them and kind of interview them, like write about their daily things they do and so on. And of course ask them first whether it's alright, I don't wanna get sued here. But basically, I want you all to write an article about a typical university student, you can put in anything you want really, there's absolutely no limitations, just do whatever you think is creative and what someone would want to read. Also, no length limitations."

"So what if we do take someone we know really well?" Someone asked the question which Liam had been longing to ask, shit, he didn't want to do this with a stranger, maybe he could ask Harry, they didn't know each other THAT well.

"Well, it'd be really boring if you do, I highly suggest you find someone else, it doesn't have to be a complete stranger, but you probably shouldn't take your best friend. Okay, any more questions?" Yeah, did he want to kill Liam or something? "Good, one month, I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

Awesome, now Liam's day was completely ruined, he slowly started to pack his stuff as everyone else started talking quietly, putting their things away as well while their professor seemed to be too pleased with his homework idea. It was like he knew exactly what to do to make Liam's life hell, so much about being nice yesterday.

The only good aspect was that now Liam at least wasn't worrying about going to Louis' room anymore, well he still did a little bit but now his worries were split apart, which was even worse to be honest.

He decided to go extra slowly, and then to bring his backpack to his own room before deciding that he should change as well, just so more time would pass to be honest. Liam still only needed about ten minutes longer as he walked down the flats of stairs, seeing a few familiar faces in the hallways by now, someone even greeted him so that was quite surprising.

As he knocked on the hopefully right door, Liam didn't even think about that maybe it couldn't be Louis opening up, for the whole day he had almost completely forgotten that Niall actually existed. But he did, as well as his cheeky, bright grin and the bubbly mood he seemed to be in 24/7. "Hey, Liam, you're early, Louis is under the shower, but 'm sure he'll be back in a bit, come in."

"Thanks… is Zayn here?" Liam asked hopefully, disappointed when Niall shook his head, a bit too motivated as he led the other boy into the room. It was much bigger than Liam's of course, since it had to fit two people, but that didn't really make things any easier. 

"No, he's always late anyways." Yeah, Liam knew that, probably better than Niall, which is of course not what he said, he just tried his hardest not to look too interested in this room, he had never been here before, because then of course he would've known that Louis didn't have a single room anymore, but he did now. "Harry already went home, I accidentally walked in on him and Louis making out on Louis' bed before, but he said he's gonna come back to pick us up as soon as Louis texts him."

"Oh…" Niall seemed to find it funny, he chuckled a bit, collecting some dirty socks off of the floor while Liam went to sit on Louis' messed up bed. Kinda sad that he still rather sat there than on Niall's bed. But then again, considering everything he had heard about the boy, maybe it wasn't that bad of a decision after all. "So, um… how was your day?"

Turning around with raised eyebrows, Niall seemed to be more than surprised by that question, immediately causing Liam to blush a bit, he was just trying to be nice and make conversation. "It was good, didn't enjoy waking up at 8 am too much and then go to class, but it got better afterwards, because I got to take a nap and my friends woke me before the professor noticed. What about you?"

"Yeah, it was fine." Apart from his last class of course, but Liam wouldn't tell Niall that of course, the blonde boy was going through his closet now while Liam absently watched his back, his eyes immediately widening though as Niall suddenly pulled his shirt off, throwing it somewhere on a pile of already existing clothes. "You got a tattoo."

Very good observation, Liam, that is one way to cover up the fact that you have been watching Niall's half naked body, way to go. "What? Oh, yeah, I do. Got it a bit over a year ago because I thought I should do it since I was 18, it doesn't mean anything, I just wanted to get one, you know how it is."

For some reason Liam didn't really believe Niall, he wasn't so sure about that black sign on the boy's right shoulder blade but he wouldn't push it of course or look even closer, the fact alone that he had noticed AND given himself away was bad enough. "I… I'm sorry."

"For what?" Niall's smile hadn't faded the tiniest bit, he just casually turned around, still shirtless, showing off his pale upper body once more, he didn't look like people probably imagined football players, he was too skinny somehow, his arms were a bit more muscular though, it was embarrassing how much Liam noticed really, he was trying so hard to casually stare at something else.

"For asking, I-"

"It's fine, calm down, mate." His throaty laugh gave Liam goosebumps, he was very glad that Niall wasn't looking at him anymore and instead got some deodorant from somewhere on his bed, just putting it on right in front of Liam. Why exactly did it seem like Niall wouldn't have a problem undressing himself completely and then asking Liam to throw him some new boxer shorts so he could put these on too? "Do you have one too?"

"A tattoo? No, I… I don't, I… wouldn't know what to get and… my parents would kill me." God could they just drop it, Liam was gonna start bleeding if he didn't stop to nervously picking on the skin next to his thumb, it's just, Niall was still shirtless and though he seemed to be looking for something to put on, it was a bit awkward. Which was weird too, Liam didn't care if any of his friends were shirtless, but Niall…

"But you're over 18, right?" What kinda question was that even, it sounded a bit wrong but Liam just nodded, he didn't even know why he had given Niall information about his family too now, not like the blonde boy cared, right?

"Yeah, I'm 19." By now, Niall had finally found a shirt in all this mess, a black one that suited him better than Liam would have ever admitted to himself. 

"Me too." Well, that wasn't too much of a surprise, Niall was standing in front of the mirror on his wall now, apparently trying to sort out his hair, which seemed pretty unnecessary because it seemed to be surprisingly perfectly styled already. "When's your birthday?"

"29th August, when is y-"

"So you're a virgo, like me! Awesome, mine's on the 13th September, we're only…. a few weeks apart." He seemed very excited about that, in fact he even turned around to shoot Liam a grin, his fingers still pulling on pieces of his blonde hair, obviously died though, the roots were unmistakably brown, it was a nice match for some reason.

"Two." Liam answered without really thinking about it, immediately wanting to take it back because that had come out a bit douchy, but of course, this was Niall, and he just laughed it off as he turned back to the mirror.

"Told you I'm not good at maths, Payno." Yeah, he had really said that, now Liam came off as an asshole.

"Right…sorry, I-"

"You really need to stop apologizing for everything, mate, I'm not easy to piss of, you know, especially not because of something like this, just relax, yeah?" Easier said than done. 

Luckily Louis came back only five minutes later, he seemed surprised about Liam already being there but didn't say much about it, his hair was wet but at least he had gotten dressed already, unlike Niall, who changed his shirt yet another time to a very similar looking one, asking the other two how it looked and Liam was glad that Louis was faster with his 'good' because otherwise he might have bursted out saying 'stunning'.

Zayn turned out to have taken a nap in his room, Niall had to knock 25 times and cause a scene in the hallway to get him to open up, but at least he was the only one who didn't have to shower and change his clothes twelve times so that was something.

Liam had no idea where Harry's house even was, he had only ever seen Harry when when there had been a few days off and they had all gone home and Louis had brought Harry back to their hometown, but Liam had never been here before two days ago.

That was also why he was very surprised that Harry actually got out of his car once they approached him, not going to Louis like Liam had expected, no, he rather opened his arms to pull Liam into a hug instead, dimples showing as he smiled. "Liam, hey, haven't seen you in ages."

Well, it had only been a few weeks actually, but he seemed to be genuinely glad that they saw each other, so Liam instantly hugged back, bringing himself to a slight smile. Maybe he really could ask Harry to help him with this project, right now it seemed a lot like he would say yes. "Hi, Haz. How are you?

"I'm brilliant, Li. You? Do you like your room? Have you already gotten settled?" As he pulled back he was still smiling, keeping his hands on Liam's shoulder for a few more seconds, not even flinching as Louis came up behind him, his arm winding around the other boy's waist, pressing a kiss to his cheek that had Liam looking away quickly.

"Yeah, I'm good, I'm glad I moved." Which was the truth, but that didn't mean he enjoyed watching the two of them being all cute and cuddly, he also didn't find it as funny as Niall did apparently, he was leaning against the car, grinning a bit, his eyes meeting Liam for half a second before the older boy looked down.

"We're all happy too, Li, come on." Zayn saved him luckily, he petted Liam's back for a second before going to pinch Niall's side to get him to move away from the car so he could open the door, making the blonde laugh and playfully hitting his arm.

"Stop doing that, Zayn! You know I'm ticklish." Alright.

They all had to squeeze themselves a bit into the backseat, Liam found himself next to Niall and the door, Louis got to sit in the passenger seat of course and Zayn didn't seem to mind being on Niall's other side because he wasn't the only who Niall leaned onto with all of his weight whenever Harry took a turn somewhere, apparently always into the same direction. 

"Are you guys gonna come watch my next game? We're probably gonna lose again but it'd still be cool if you could come." Niall seemed to be in the best mood ever, just like always, he was babbling about things the whole entire drive long, and as soon as they got out of the car, he started yet again. No one seemed to mind though, they all answered expect for Liam who mostly stayed quiet, he first of all needed to get comfortable in this new situation and having Niall pressed up against him for 20 minutes wasn't really helping with that. 

"When is it? I gotta see if we've got time." Louis seemed to really consider going, although he winked at Harry when he said the last sentence so Liam wasn't very sure anymore, he was more busy with being impressed by how big Harry's house was as they walked up to the front door, lucky him he didn't have to live in a dorm.

"Next week. Come on, Lou, you can't be that busy." Luckily he hadn't asked Liam yet because Liam literally had nothing to do at all, like what could he have said? He would have to go if Niall asked him, or maybe he could just fake being sick or something. "Zayn?"

"Yeah, I'll come, if you remind me again shortly before." Zayn shrugged, apparently not very excited, which seemed to be alright because Niall smiled for the both of them, why was it such a big deal though, if he had so many friends, surely they all would come to watch him.

"Awesome. Liam?" And there it was, they were all standing there waiting for Harry to find his house key so Liam couldn't even pretend that he hadn't heard it, he just shrugged a little bit, trying not to bite too hard into his bottom lip.

"If Zayn goes…" Because alone would be even worse, he didn't even care whether this came out as rude or not because apparently Niall didn't even know that word existed.

"It'll be fun, I promise, you won't regret it!" And then just as Harry had finally opened the front door, Niall put up one of his biggest grins before shortly but unexpectedly throwing his arm around Liam's shoulders, squeezing him a bit before letting go again just as fast to slip into the house right after Louis. "Is your mum home, Harry?" 

"Get it together and stop talking about my mother, Niall, oh my god!" They all laughed, except for Harry and Liam, the first because of obvious reasons and the latter because he was still stuck trying to deal with Niall's shameless affection towards half strangers.

Harry's house was great, he showed Liam around while the others probably ate his fridge empty, he probably shouldn't have told them to feel like they were at home, but then again, this wasn't the first time they were here so he had probably been expecting it. "Okay, tell me, how are your classes, is it better here than at your old uni?"

"Yeah, I think so, I mean, I'm not really used to it yet but I will be eventually, but everyone's nice and… yeah, it's good." They were slowly making their way downstairs again, Liam could hear the others laughing about something from the living room, or maybe it was the massive TV Harry's family had put down there.

"I'm glad to hear that. And, what do you think about Niall?" Harry had lowered his voice as he asked, but his face seemed serious as Liam checked shortly, he didn't really know what to say actually, he didn't even know what to think about the blonde boy.

"Well, he's nice… he said me and him should hang out because he's friends with all of you guys, but…" Yeah, there was always that 'but' that Liam didn't know how to finish, there was something about Niall, it was just weird thinking about being friends with him, and not because he seemed to sleep around a lot, Liam couldn't have cared less about that.

"You don't have to immediately like him, Li, it's fine, you only know him since a few days. But I know what you mean, it's weird that he wants to hang out with any of us when he could basically hang out with the whole campus." Exactly. "But hey, maybe we're just the coolest, right?"

"Maybe." Liam agreed, returning Harry's smile a little bit, they were almost back with the others so they really needed to stop talking about this or someone might hear. "Hey, Haz, um… I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure, what is it?" Better do it now, before everyone else would start giving their opinion too, plus Harry seemed to be more than willing to help, he smiled encouragingly, thank god Louis was gay. 

"You know, I gotta do this thing for class, it's a project and I can't ask Louis and Zayn because we are supposed to ask someone who we don't know that extremely well, and I thought maybe you could help me." Well, that sounded a bit as if they didn't know each other at all, but Harry was nodding along, not seeming put off by the idea.

"Sure, what is it about?" As they entered the living room, Liam's eyes first fell on Niall, who was half lying on the couch, his shirt having slipped up his stomach a bit, revealing a very distracting hint of flesh which he obviously didn't seem to notice while being in a seemingly deep conversation with Louis.

"Um… we're supposed to write something about a typical university student but not like with someone we already know really well, so I thought I could ask you because obviously I know Zayn and Louis really well and-"

"Harry's not a typical uni student though." Apparently that conversation hadn't been so deep after all.

Niall had just randomly thrown this in, immediately causing Liam to shut up with his mouth half open as he automatically stared at Niall readjusting his… yeah. "Um… why not?"

"He doesn't live in the dorm, he just goes home after classes. Or into Louis' bed, but that doesn't really count." He shrugged as Harry glared at him, going to sit down on the couch as well which left Liam as the only one standing around awkwardly. Shit, Niall was right. "Do you have to write this for your journalism class?"

"Um… yeah." Liam felt like everyone was staring at him, so he slowly walked over to the extra armchair right next to Niall, there was no other space left anywhere, why would Niall even care, why would he randomly throw this in, he-

"I could help you instead. I'm very typical." His smile was smug, Liam thought his eyes might pop out of his head as he wordlessly stared at the blonde, he faintly heard the others laughing and agreeing, and he knew that they were right just… what?

"Um… I don't know I… I already asked Harry though." Liam threw a look over at said boy, hoping that he was gonna help him out but he wasn't being very helpful over there playing with Louis' fingers. Couldn't he read Liam's mind screaming at him to save him?!

"Sure, I can do it too, I don't mind who of us does it." Shit.

"Okay, then I'll do it, alright?" Harry just nodded, like what the hell was happening, were they just deciding who Liam's partner would be without even asking Liam whether it was okay?! "Cool. Now that I think about it, I forgot to ask for your number yesterday, but give it to me now then it'll be easier and you can just ask me whenever, okay?"

"Uh…" He wanted to ask Liam for his number yesterday?! Why did no one find any of this weird besides Liam, everyone was just talking to each other while Niall was here fishing his phone out of his pocket and handing it over to Liam so he could type his number in probably. 

"Here you go. Just write your full name, your name's pretty common. Or put an emoji or whatever else." Yeah, Liam was definitely not gonna put an emoji next to his name, he was speechless as he typed in his number with rather shaky hands, trying his hardest not to drop the device. "Thanks. I'll send you a text so you have mine too, yeah?"

"Okay… thanks." What else was he supposed to say really, he didn't want Niall's number, he didn't even want his help for this project, he actually wanted to drop out of class now just to avoid this.

"So, if you should write something about my life then you should definitely come to my game now, like for science purposes, you know?" So had he just agreed to do it because of that?! "And maybe you should come to one of my classes too, or a few actually. I think this is going to be fun, you can text me whenever you want, alright?" 

"Right, um… thank you, Niall." This was gonna be a disaster, Liam had no idea what Niall's intentions really were, but it couldn't be that he was just trying to be helpful and nice, though his bright face and smile certainly did suggest that, it seemed very unlikely. Did he really just want them to get along?

Those questions haunted Liam for the rest of the day, though they didn't talk about this anymore, Liam couldn't just block it out of his mind either, he tried to participate in the conversations and though none of this turned out as bad as he had feared, he was still quite confused when he got to his dorm room hours later. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

 

—————

 

_Niall 11:33 am_

_hey, you busy? maybe we could work on your project today, got nothin to do_

 

Four days long, Liam hadn't really spoken to Niall, they had said hi to each other once, and another time Liam had seen the other boy snogging a girl against the wall, not that Liam had been looking at Niall for so long that he could recognize him from behind, but… he kinda had.

To be honest, his project had really worried him a lot the past few days, he hadn't wanted to talk to any of the others about it though, even if they had hung out a few times of course, but Liam felt stupid always talking about Niall so he had tried telling himself that he could take a week or so off before actually working on this. By then he would've for sure already worked out something, right?

Didn't really seem like it now that he was lying in bed with nothing but some sweatpants on, not knowing where the hell this was coming from now, like, Niall was probably just bored or something, like he had even said he had nothing better to do, but did he really want to spend his sunday with Liam? It wasn't even 12 pm yet.

But he couldn't just say no either just because this was strange, like at least now Liam didn't have to be the one to say anything first. This would've been so much easier with Harry, god.

 

_To Niall 11:40 am_

_sure. where do you wanna meet?_

 

Maybe Liam should've just told him to come over, but he really didn't want Niall to come into his room again for some reason, like he didn't want to be alone here with him because if it would be just the two of them things could get so much more awkward so much more quickly. And the longer Liam thought about it the less he knew what he even wanted to write or ask Niall, hopefully that would pass as soon as they met up, but it almost had him cancelling one second later.

Luckily though, Niall seemed to get it, or at least half of it, or maybe he was just really hungry. 

 

_Niall 11:50 am_

_ill be at your room in ten, we can go talk at some coffee place?_

 

Some coffee place did not sound very promising but Liam agreed anyways before quickly rolling out of bed, he was almost about to put thought into his outfit and feeling bad for not showering before he remembered that this wasn't a date, like, what did it matter how he looked like, right? It was just Niall, this random boy who somehow thought it was a good idea to confuse the hell out of Liam and never do what the other boy expected. 

Niall really did take 10 minutes sharp, like Liam had just finished putting his second shoe on when he already heard the knocking on his door that made his throat a bit tight, what if he totally messed this up? "One second."

"C'mon Payno, you don't need to make yourself look pretty for me." Is that what he told all these girls? Liam didn't even wanna think about, he rolled his eyes to himself before grabbing his backpack since he would have to write things down probably, taking a last big breath before opening the door to meet Niall. "Hey, you ready?"

"Yeah… sure, let's go." There was something about Niall, something that gave him the ability to look good in about everything and anything, even if he was just wearing jeans and a shirt, hiding his messy hair under a snapback, Liam had trouble not staring at him the whole time. Like, he could admit that Niall looked pretty good, that didn't mean anything at all right, a lot of people looked pretty good, it just bothered him a bit that he thought this way about the blonde boy too. "So, where are we actually going?"

"Just this place I know, I sometimes go there with some of my mates, but everyone's busy today, thought I'd ask you." Right, Liam was the last option of course, not like he had expected anything else, but he still didn't wanna hear it really, it wasn't a nice feeling.

"Well… you didn't have to agree to helping me, you know…" It came out rather quiet, just because Liam didn't really want to say anything after all, but then he thought he should, just so Niall knew that that hadn't been a very nice thing to say.

"What?" To his surprise, the blonde boy's eyes widened a bit at this before he was quick to speak again, firmly staring at Liam as they walked down the hallway. "No, that's not it, I didn't mean it like that, Liam, I wouldn't have offered my help otherwise, but it's just like… I thought you were gonna text me when you wanna do it but you didn't and I had nothing to do today so I thought I would check whether today would be okay. You know, if you had texted me any other day I would've put you first of course, because it's school work and it's important."

Shit, see, this was why it was so hard, Niall seemed to be so genuinely and bloody nice that Liam felt like he had received a punch in the guts, immediately feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, I didn't… I didn't really plan this too well yet so I didn't text you, but… sorry for saying that." 

"It's fine, maybe I can help work something out, okay?" Then his smile was suddenly back, softer this time, his dimple showing and it was so nice that Liam had to suck in a breath before keeping his head straight again, readjusting his backpack over his shoulder as he agreed quietly. "Awesome. Now I hope you're a little bit hungry too because this place has really great sandwiches. I'll even pay for yours just so you try it."

"You really don't have to, I-"

"But I want to." There was a wink as Liam turned his head without thinking, feeling himself turning more red by the second under Niall's smile, like he couldn't help his mind going back to his previous thoughts, this was so much like a date that Liam wanted to just back out now, but it wasn't of course and the fact that he would even come up with something ridiculous like this was driving him nuts.

It seemed like Niall really did know exactly where he wanted to go, they left campus of course and Liam got a bit nervous but it was kinda hard to think about that when Niall was constantly babbling about the most random stuff, he even threw in some ideas about how Liam could do this project, which was pretty irrelevant because the older boy was only listening with one ear anyways. Walking next to Niall was just as weird as it had been last time, they probably met 5 people he knew just inside the dorm and then about 7 more outside, like, had he helped all those people with their projects too or was this an exception? For some reason, Liam really wanted to know.

The coffee place didn't seem too bad, also, it wasn't far away and they only had to walk for 15 minutes, which of course meant they were still were close to the campus and by just entering the place Liam wanted to roll his eyes already at the 'Niall!' he heard someone yelling from a corner.

To his surprise though, Niall only did the polite small talk, smiling his famous smile, having a short laugh before leading Liam to a table far away, a little isolated from the others. Was he trying to kidnap him now? "If you wait here I'll come back with the best sandwich you've ever had."

"You really don't have to do that…" Liam mumbled, but it seemed like he had no choice because Niall just grinned, shaking his head at him before already turning to go. 

"Nope, no chance. I'll be quick and then we can get started on this, alright?" There really was no time to say anything or protest, the blonde boy simply left Liam at the table, leaving him no choice but to sit down, dropping his backpack carelessly and resisting the urge to bury his face in his hands. 

Why was this boy so… so bossy and nice at the same time?! He knew exactly how to get what he wanted, there was no doubt, no wonder everyone was kissing his feet, he was too good at this, he knew how to get to people and though Liam was well aware of it, he was scared that the fact that he was here now and let Niall get him food meant that it was already too late for him too. But no, he could see right through Niall, he was gonna be careful around him, this was simply a matter of formal meeting because of this project, nothing else. 

If only Niall would stick to that rule as well. "Okay, here you go, got you some coke too, didn't know what you like."

He seriously came back with way too much stuff, Liam watched the boy secretly as he put everything on the table in front of them before falling into the chair opposite of Liam with a very excited look on his face at seeing the food in from of him. "Um, how much did it cost? I'll give you the money."

"Nah, I don't need it, I wanted you to try it so I'll pay, put that away." Gesturing to Liam's wallet that he had taken out, Niall made some hand movement, clearly not about to accept any money from Liam at all as he already had his sandwich in both hands. "Come on, eat."

"Alright… thank you, Niall." What else could he have said? Liam felt slightly uncomfortable now as he suppressed a sigh before putting his wallet away, waiting for Niall to take a bite first before doing the same with his own food, well aware of the blonde's intense look at him. 

"And?" No idea why Liam's opinion on this was so important, he was still chewing so he just gave Niall a thumbs up, mostly to please him, not because it really was that mind blowing, but he couldn't have said that, could he? Besides, Niall's grin looked as if it might split his face apart. "Told you. So, you wanna start this? We got lots of time though, no need to hurry, I got nowhere to be."

"Uh, yeah, no, let's start." Swallowing quickly, Liam put his sandwich back down to get out something to write, his face feeling a bit hot, just like it had ever since he had seen Niall's text popping up on his screen, he definitely did not wanna randomly sit around here and not do anything just because Niall had nothing better to do. Maybe Liam was very busy, maybe he had somewhere to be. Or maybe he didn't. 

"Alright." Niall chuckled before taking a sip of whatever he had bought himself to drink, it was quite disturbing, the fact that his eyes were always on Liam, almost the whole entire time, as if he knew how nervous it made the other boy and as if he took great pleasure in that or something. "Just ask me anything you wanna know, I have no secrets."

Since of course Liam hadn't really planned this out yet, he decided to handle this as if Niall was a complete stranger, as if this was an interview with someone who could handle a situation like this without having to chew the whole time or grin or look like thought had went into his appearance, too much thought. Okay, Liam, just focus, don't look at him, no matter how well this shirt fits him. "So… I'll be honest, I didn't really think about this a lot yet, so… I'll just ask you like… the usual, I guess? Where are you from?"

"From Ireland, Mullingar. Do you wanna know it, like, exactly? I can draw you a map." This was gonna be hard. But Liam wasn't surprised by that answer, Niall had an unmistakably accent.

"No thanks, I guess I could just… google it." He wouldn't. "So if you're from Ireland… why go to uni here?"

That question actually was very interesting but Liam pretended to be writing stuff down and not care at all, giving Niall time to think about his answer, which he didn't need apparently because he never ever ran out of words to say. "Just wanted to see something new, you know, and my brother goes to uni here as well, but he'll be done in a year."

"Um… do you have any more siblings?" This was actually really irrelevant, Liam didn't plan on really using any of this, he was just asking… because… it'd be easier to talk to Niall if he knew more about him, right?

"Nope. Just one brother." Niall took another bite from his sandwich, he was eating really quickly, smirking in between as if he found this whole thing really amusing. Luckily he wasn't annoyed yet because Liam felt like he was really getting onto the younger boy's nerves here, but he had offered his help, so.

"Do you get along?" Liam hadn't seen anyone who would maybe look like Niall's brother so he figured that maybe they didn't get along, but the other boy's answer came a bit too fast and too final.

"No." He stopped for a second before shrugging, staring into his glass now, giving Liam the chance to shamelessly stare at him for a few seconds, he wasn't smiling for once, bitting into his bottom lip shortly before shacking his head barely noticeably. "Maybe don't write that in there, 's not that important anyway."

"Right…" Well that was weird, it didn't seem like there was anything in the world Niall would feel weird talking about, but this seemed to be a bad topic for whatever reason so Liam decided to move on, this wasn't supposed to get so extremely personal after all. "Okay, I guess, I… well, just tell me what you do, like, when you get up and stuff and when you study, things like that, I… haven't really thought about how to organize this, sorry."

"Hey, it's fine, I don't mind." His smile was kinda encouraging, maybe because Liam's cheeks were probably really red, but nothing could compare to how they felt like when Niall casually dropped his hand on top of Liam's over the table, for only one second, it might has well have been a mistake, but the goosebumps on Liam's arm were proof enough that it had happened. The older boy tried to play it off, slowly putting his arm in his lap instead and clearing his throat a little, desperate not to look anywhere besides his paper to write. What was wrong with Niall? Was he fucking _flirting_?! But no, not with Liam, that'd be dumb, Liam was a guy anyways and even if Niall would like boys too, he certainly wouldn't like Liam, he probably just felt bad for him.

"O-Okay…" Was all Liam choked out, giving himself away, but of course he had messed this whole thing up enough already, he just wanted to take his stuff and leave and tell his professor that he couldn't do the project, unfortunately though, Niall seemed to be more motivated than before. Did he enjoy making Liam blush?

"Alright, so. Depends when I have classes, but usually I gotta get up at like… 8 am, as much as I hate it, sometimes only at 10 though. And yeah, well then I have classes, of course. Sometimes I skip, but not as often as I did in school I suppose. Well and afterwards I pretend I never have any homework or anything to study and I do whatever, you know… I'm doing everything at the last minute, which explains my grades, I guess, I just… yeah, like I told you already, I'm not good at concentrating on one thing for too long. At least if it's about uni." Then he stopped, as if to give Liam some time to write it down, which he didn't though, there was no need to, besides, it would've felt weird, Liam just needed the excuse of staring at the paper so he wouldn't have to look up. "I play football a few times a week, and at the weekend I go out with friends to have a drink 'n stuff, you know… the usual."

"Alright…" Liam didn't know what to do with any of that, he wanted to ask Niall more personal stuff but he really couldn't do that for some reason, like he couldn't just randomly ask what Niall did in his free time or what he liked to eat, that'd be ridiculous. Besides, he wouldn't be able to use it anyways. "I guess I should… think this through or so before we continue, like work out a concept."

"You could just ask me more stuff, you know, I don't mind it at all." For some very weird reason, Niall seemed to not want them to leave already, like they had only been here rather shortly, but still, it's not like they had overly enjoyed themselves so Liam really didn't get it. 

"I don't know what though…" Well he would know something, but that would hardly be appropriate, Liam couldn't even bring himself to look over at the younger boy, the sooner he left the better for the both of them. 

"I could just talk, maybe there's something useful in there." It almost sounded hopeful, Niall leaned forward a bit, his sandwich was gone by now and he was still in the best mood ever, maybe even better than before, how could Liam have said no? There was no obvious reason not to agree, as little as he wanted to keep on sitting here embarrassing himself.

"Well, I guess you could, but… you don't have to of course, I mean… I should've been more prepared or-"

"No, it's fine, don't worry about it, Payno, I'm here to help, this is kinda fun, like I've never put that much thought in one of my own projects." At least one of them was enjoying themselves for unclear reasons, Liam was stunned by Niall's attitude, but he just nodded anyways, leaning back a bit and taking a sip of his coke, mostly to hide his face though, flinching a bit at Niall cracking his knuckles rather loudly. "Alright, where should I start, hmm…"

Niall talked for about one and a half hours, he didn't mind if Liam barely gave any answers or asked questions, it seemed to be enough that he listened to whatever the blonde boy might come up with. And damn, that was a whole lot.

He gave Liam an outline on his whole life basically, his favorite movies and music, that he was really into boy bands, that he didn't like the McDonald's closest to campus because they had given him cold fries three times in a row, that his favorite hoodie had gotten this stain on a week ago and he didn't know how to get it out and it was a huge problem, that he always had trouble falling asleep whenever it was too quiet, that his favorite food was everything with cheese, that he loved playing the guitar whenever he had time for himself. In short, he said way too much for one person to follow along.

One thing he never mentioned though was anything family related, even if Liam would've expected it kind of, maybe not his brother since they didn't seem to get along, but his parents at least. But no, Niall talked about Ireland, even his childhood at one point and about how much trouble he had gotten in at school, but never once did he mention his family. That was weird however there wasn't much time for the older boy to worry about it seeing as the Niall jumped from one topic to the next without a pause.

For some reason, Liam didn't mind it, he found himself smiling stupidly sometimes whenever Niall's eyes would light up every time he talked about something he was passionate about, how he used his hands to talk, how he didn't look down at his phone even when it vibrated two times. He just kept talking, and he was so into it, he even asked Liam for paper and a pen then to try and make a map of Ireland, and then his room at home, as if he really wanted to share all of this with Liam. It didn't seem to be much for his journalism project anymore at all.

So after Niall had eaten Liam's sandwich too and checked the clock at some point, he seemed quite surprised, as if he hadn't even noticed how much time had passed by, as if this was a normal thing for them to do. "Wow, it's so late already, I didn't even notice! It's like two thirty."

"Really? Maybe we should go back or so, I mean…" Yeah, Liam didn't actually know what he meant, he just made some gesture with his hand, stretching a bit because all the sitting was making him tired, the only thing keeping him awake really was Niall's bright mood and rather loud voice. And his jokes that had made Liam laugh at least 3 times in the past hour even if he had tried not to, it's just, this boy was really funny.

"Maybe…" Niall shrugged, emptying his second glass before smashing it a bit too hard on the table and staring at Liam as if he had something on his face before suddenly starting to smile. Oh no. "Or we could go like, on a walk if you want, I got nowhere to be, and it's not that late anyways."

"A walk?" Liam couldn't help but sound confused, because he was, he even forgot to blush, watching as Niall got up from his chair, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth to maybe wipe away any food or drink remainants, nodding encouragingly. 

"Yeah, come on, I know some nice places." But why would he wanna go there with Liam? If he wasn't even forced to hang out with him anymore?

"Okay, but… I need to be back, like… before it gets late 'cos I still got to… do this thing for class tomorrow and… yeah." The one time Liam could've really needed some homework, of course he didn't have any to name, it was obvious that he was lying, but Niall kept up the smile, he just nodded, waiting for Liam to pack up his stuff before leading him out the door while the older boy tried to figure out why it was so hard to say no to Niall Horan.

They didn't take the way they had come from, obviously, which made Liam a little nervous but there was no way he could've backed out now anyways so he just went with Niall, not asking where it was they were headed to because the fact alone that Niall had called it 'a walk' was making him too nervous already. 

"So, I told you a lot about me now, maybe a bit too much I admit that…" He stopped to throw a smirk at Liam, automatically making the older boy smile a bit against his will before continuing. "But I barely know anything about you yet."

"There's nothing interesting to know anyways, so…" There really wasn't, Liam had no idea what he would've said, he didn't have an interesting life like Niall seemed to have. 

"Well, it doesn't have to be interesting, I'd just like to know more about you." This was the second time Niall said this and Liam still didn't know why he would do that, or how he was planning on achieving that. "Can I ask you something?"

Liam hesitated at that, he really didn't wanna have to answer any weird questions now, but then again, this situation couldn't get any weirder anyways. They were crossing the street now, obviously going for something that looked like a park. "Sure…"

"You're not really into being around many people, are you? Does it bother you that I'm doing this all? Like, am I too much in your face?" That question came out of nowhere, Niall sounded genuine, as if he was asking because he really wanted to know.

Liam's first instinct was to shrug it off, but he resisted, thinking it would have been very rude, but then considering it for a second or two, he kinda really didn't mind Niall being like this, hell god knows Louis was too much in people's faces sometimes as well. Just, Louis was his friend, but Niall was… Niall. "No, I don't, I'm just … not like that."

"Well, don't worry about it, I'm talking enough for the both of us, just don't wanna get on your nerves, is all." Then he caused Liam to flinch by playfully bumping his elbow into the older boy's ribs, laughing shortly, probably at the face Liam made. "Sorry, did that hurt?"

"No, it didn't, I was just surprised." Well, it had hurt a little bit maybe, but Liam didn't need yet another reason to blush so he smiled quickly at Niall, still feeling his face heat up at the bright grin he got back. 

"Alright, just making sure." Niall chuckled a bit too much at this, not that that was something new, luckily not letting them fall into an awkward silence because Liam would've sure as hell not said anything anymore after this. "So tell me something about you, I only know whatever the others told me but that's not much at all. Well, and I know you're a very good heater and a terrible room decorator but that's about it."

"I don't know… what do you wanna know?" Not like Niall could ask any uncomfortable questions if there was nothing to hide. Maybe only the fact that Liam had been thinking about the blonde boy a bit too much ever since he had met him, but he wouldn't ask that hopefully.

"Anything really, like, what's your fave color?" Really? THAT was what he wanted to know?!

"Green, I guess." Liam felt like he was being made fun of, but Niall's smile was still soft whenever he checked so… "Is that all you wanted to know?"

"No, not even close, Liam, you're not escaping me now." Maybe Liam should've been scared now, but instead he didn't say or do anything, he didn't even know what to think anymore, like they were seriously reaching a park now and were about to take a walk there, who the hell did that? "Just do what I did, let's pretend I'm writing this project, come up with the most random stuff you can think about, like… how many pets have you had, do you have your driving license, what do you eat for breakfast, what is one thing you always do when you got nothing to do, come on, just say anything that comes to your mind."

"I only had one cat when I was a child, I do have a driving license, I eat whatever there is for breakfast and the one thing I do is probably falling asleep." See, Liam was boring as hell.

"Not so much excitement please." Niall rolled his eyes, but he still laughed at Liam's answer, it seemed his mood had increased ever since they had reached the park, if that was even possible. "And that's terrible, I love eating breakfast, and it's healthy too I heard, not that I care about that but y'know. We should have breakfast together sometime, then you'll see exactly what I mean. You could become like, my breakfast buddy or something."

"Your what?" Was this boy even real honestly? 

"Yeah, you heard me, Leemo." That new nickname made all of this even weirder, but at least by now Liam could look at the younger boy without feeling like his face would melt, even if that wouldn't have been so unlikely, Niall was literally the sun, he was so cheerful and happy, as if going to the park with Liam on a sunday afternoon was the best thing ever. "None of my friends are really into eating any breakfast at all so you're doing good so far, we should totally do that, I'll text you next week or something."

"But I-"

"Race me to the playground over there." And before Liam could react or even comprehend this, Niall had already bursted out into laughter before just taking off, he was literally running over to the playground while Liam just stopped, frozen at the spot as he stared after the other boy. Were they just having a race in the middle of the park? Well, Niall was a having a race, it took Liam all his strength to just slowly walk over there, he wanted to text Louis or Zayn or even Harry and tell them everything that had happened today just so they could tell him whether he was crazy or not. This surely couldn't be normal, or did Niall do this with everyone? 

It took longer for Liam to get there of course, Niall seemed to be pouting while sitting on one of the swings that wasn't taking over by some small children playing. What were they honestly doing here? At a playground in the middle of the day?

"You didn't even try, Liam." Niall complained, his face looked quite sad and Liam hated himself for feeling a small tug to his heart even if the other boy was probably just playing around, it seemed quite like him.

"Sorry, I wasn't prepared for it." How could anyone have expected this anyways though, Niall couldn't even be mad.

"Or maybe you're just a slow runner and didn't want to admit it." The cheeky grin was back already, Liam couldn't help but roll his eyes, taking the empty swing next to Niall just because he felt weird standing around, also, he wouldn't have been surprised if Niall would've asked him to push him.

"I'm not actually, I… I do go for runs sometimes, you know…" No idea why he would say that, Liam was just absently watching the kids playing so he wouldn't have to look at Niall, who seemed quite excited by this for some reason.

"Really? I do too, because my football trainer loses his shit whenever we run too slow so I have to train sometimes, by myself, even if it's boring. You're probably better at it than me though, maybe we could go run together some time." Again, another thing Niall wanted to do with Liam, it really made the older boy wonder whether he was just saying this to be polite or if he really planned on actually doing it, Liam didn't really expect it to be honest, if Niall had so many friends, he surely wouldn't wanna spend his free time with Liam.

"Sure…but I always go in the morning." Just to tell him, not like this was ever gonna happen anyways right?

"Oh… well, I could get up I guess, if I put like 30 alarms on my phone or so. I always overhear them, isn't that weird? Luckily I'm sharing a room with Louis or I'd never make it to any classes or lectures." Shaking his head a bit, Niall seemed very devastated for a second, even if Liam only checked briefly, not really knowing what to say to this, he hadn't taken this serious. "Do you think that girl wants to have my swing?"

"What girl?" Confused by the question coming out of nowhere, Liam looked over to see a girl standing there rather shyly, a little further away, she was probably four years old or something, which was not what Liam found strange, it was rather the suddenly even brighter smile on Niall's face. "I don't know, she seems-"

"Hey, do you maybe wanna swing a bit instead of me?" Niall had already jumped up before Liam could even finish, he just watched with amazement instead, the way Niall's voice had immediately gone softer, how slowly he approached her, going down a bit to make himself smaller, anything not to scared her. Literally, he did everything Liam wouldn't have been able to imagine him doing in fifty years. "Come on, it's okay, it's your turn now, yeah?"

The girls seemed rather shy, but she did come back with Niall, not saying anything at all but smiling a bit when he held the swing for her so she could get on, even helping her a little bit while Liam's eyes were about to fall out of his head. Why was he so extremely sweet all of a sudden, not that he had been an asshole before, but it was like he knew exactly what to say and how to act with a child, it was kinda amazing to be honest, especially coming from him.

"There you go. Is that your mum over there?" Niall pointed to some woman sitting on a bench and watching them, but she was smiling, obviously not scared that Niall might kidnap her child, he also didn't look very much like it, not with that face. The girl nodded a few times, shyly, and Niall almost caused Liam to fall off his own swing as he yelled over to the woman. "Is it okay if I push her?!"

Apparently it was more than alright because not five seconds later Liam became witness of yet another thing he couldn't believe, Niall was so good with kids it seemed kinda ridiculous that a few days ago his friends had kinda told him that this boy had nothing but sleeping around and having fun in his head. But here he was, seemingly having fun pushing this little girl on the swing while she laughed and Liam couldn't help but stupidly return the smile Niall threw at him, with his dumb dimples showing. Shit, why was this so cute to watch?! 

"Do you wanna go higher? You're not scared, you're tough, right?" Obviously Niall wasn't pushing her very high, if she fell off then of course that wouldn't end very well, but the blonde boy seemed to be highly aware of that anyways, no need for Liam to get worried.

"Yes, higher!" See?

Somehow Liam could've watched this whole scene a lot longer, though he hated himself secretly for staring at Niall almost the whole time long and catching himself smiling a lot more than intended. But it was just so sweet, how Niall could easily keep a conversation with a child, telling her his name and all and she suddenly stopped being shy after a few minutes too, always asking to go higher and laughing when Niall pretended that his arms were starting to hurt. "I think I'm gonna need a break, I didn't expect you to be so brave and go so high! And your mum looks like she's waiting for you too, let's get you down from there, yeah?"

He stopped the swing very carefully, offering his hand as the girl jumped down a little bit too fast, but it was fine because of course Niall was there to prevent a fall. Was that tug to Liam's heart normal or should he have consulted a doctor after this? 

"All good? Alright, you better go then, princess." Literally, seeing her face light up at what Niall called her was maybe the highlight of it all, Liam was still uselessly sitting on his swing, he didn't even have any words left. 

"Thank you, Niall." His name came out wrong out of her mouth, but it was so sweet and it made Niall laugh, like the soft kind of laugh he sometimes had, the one that gave Liam a few chills even if he told himself he was just imaging them.

"You're very welcome. Now go, your mum's waving." He waved back of course, because he was too polite and nice, watching the little girl running off and chuckling as he heard her yelling 'Guess what he called me, mummy' all over the playground. "She was cute. You okay, Li? You didn't say very much."

"I… yeah, I'm okay, sure, I was just… watching, I guess." Shaking his head a few times, Liam cleared his throat before slowly getting up too, he felt slightly weird now, like, he just wanted to keep staring at Niall to see this smile that he still had on his lips, it kinda made him feel a bit dizzy. "You're really… good with kids."

"You think so?" That complement seemed to really make the blonde boy happy, he was beaming at Liam as they slowly walked back to the path, not back to the street though, but even further into the park. Liam suddenly didn't mind anymore. "Thanks! You know, I thought about doing something with kids once I'm done with uni, but… I don't know yet, I'm probably not mature enough to do that anyways. Plus I should maybe focus on other things I'm good at and not only about how much fun I'm gonna have. But there's not many options anyways."

Right, because he obviously thought he wasn't good at anything, but Liam highly doubted that, the boy was probably just not studying enough, just like he had admitted multiple times already. "I'm sure you're good at some things… like you said you play guitar, and you play football, and right now you were really good with this girl. Maybe you should do something with kids."

"Maybe, yeah. Like in a day care or something, where I won't have to teach them anything." Then he laughed it off, running a hand through his very soft looking hair while looking at Liam, probably not missing out on how the other boy immediately looked away as if he hadn't even been watching or secretly wishing his and Niall's hands had been switched. "Now that I think about it, I think I'm quite good at drawing too, Zayn showed me a few things, and I've been taking these classes too, that's pretty useful too, right?"

"Well…" What was Liam supposed to say, he didn't wanna like, be rude or anything, constantly feeling like he was gonna say something wrong the next second, but Niall just chuckled again, his arm bumping against Liam's as he walked a bit closer all of a sudden.

"Maybe we shouldn't discuss my future right now, doesn't seem like a very cheerful topic to be honest. But you could use it for your project though." Right, what project again?

"I guess, yeah… but I think maybe we should like… meet again if you have time, because I gotta think this through again. Like, only if you have time of course, it's fine if you don't, I'd understand." Though it would really suck and Liam would be more than pissed off, he had a feeling if Niall just told him he backed out now that Liam wouldn't have even managed to be mad at the other boy. 

"'course I have time for you, Payno." Someone needed to slap Liam hard in the face, it couldn't be that he always thought about Niall flirting with him when the boy was just being friendly, Liam didn't even WANT him to flirt with him, that'd be so weird, also the fact that he had yet again thrown his arm across the brunette's shoulder, walking like this for a moment. "But only if you have time to come to my game, okay? I got a feeling none of the others will show up, but you've never been to a game before so you really gotta come watch, alright?"

"I… alright." This was the second time Niall had him agreeing, Liam really couldn't back out anymore now, besides, if it meant so much to him for some reason, Liam could probably spare an hour or two, just because he was nice of course.

"Thanks." Squeezing the older boy a bit, Niall let go of him abruptly, his cologne still kinda filling Liam's nose, and his skin seemed to burn from where the younger boy had been touching him, over his clothes of course, but Liam could still feel the tingles. "Okay now, do you wanna go back or do you still got some time left?"

There was no excuse as to why Liam told Niall that he wouldn't have to go back to his dorm until later to do his homework, he knew it was kinda obvious, that he had changed his mind out of the blue, but Niall seemed to be really happy about it actually, his smile was genuine, not as if he was just doing this out of politeness, this whole thing had been his idea after all.

Liam learned a bit more about the blonde boy when they expanded their walk, he was more willing to give some answers now as well, like it had been weird in the beginning, but being around Niall for this amount of time, Liam started to feel a bit more comfortable. Plus, the younger boy was really easy to talk to, no awkward silences or any of that sort, they always found something to talk about and that didn't happen to Liam very often at all.

When they got back to the dorms, it was at least 5 o clock in the evening, something neither of them had noticed, because Niall let out a surprised sound at checking his phone, so Liam took his out too, feeling his stomach drop at 4 unanswered messages from his friends. He'd never be able to tell them about this without wanting to die on the spot.

Right as Liam wanted to say goodbye to Niall in the most normal way possible considering the situation, Niall just walked to the new set of stairs with him, saying something like 'I'll walk you to your room' and Liam once again had the worst thoughts ever.

"Alright… well, thank you for… doing this and for having so much time and… yeah." What else should Liam have said? He was fumbling with his key now, waiting for Niall to leave so he could unlock the door and disappear inside forever, but the younger boy was still standing in front of him, a crooked smile on his lips.

"Don't thank me, Li, I offered my help, didn't I? And I had fun today, we should do this again soon I think. And I'll text you about the other stuff, okay?" Before Liam could open his mouth to ask what other stuff he meant, Niall had already wrapped his arms around him, tight, making Liam freeze for a second before he automatically hugged back, his stomach feeling really hot all of a sudden. What was with Niall and hugs?! 

It seemed to take forever until Niall pulled back again, leaving Liam feeling a bit cold, as much as he hated admitting it, he didn't mind having Niall pressed up against him, the way he leaned into the older boy, how much he smelled like shampoo and fresh air. Maybe Liam was getting a bit too caught up.

"Have a good day tomorrow, see you soon, Liam." There were a few people staring now as Liam watched Niall walking off after throwing a smile back over his shoulder, obviously not noticing the lack of an answer from Liam's side, he basically just stood there staring for a few seconds, trying not to think about how nice Niall's back looked in that shirt because that would've been ridiculous.

What exactly had just happened?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot whether i already edited this, i'm sorry if i didn't!

"Do you really not wanna come?" Liam felt like his fingers would start bleeding if he didn't immediately stop biting around on his nails, but he just couldn't help it, he had been rather confident about this for a day, but now that he was almost about to leave, he was starting to have second thoughts, and now Zayn had just randomly cancelled too, this wasn't helping to make him feel comfortable. 

"I can't, I forgot I was supposed to hang out with some people from one of my classes, it's important, it's for one of our projects." It wasn't a lie, Zayn wasn't the kinda guy to talk himself out of things, which made Liam sigh because now he couldn't even try to convince his friend. "Why don't you wanna go alone though? It's not so bad, you just stay and watch and then afterwards you just talk to Niall for a bit so he's happy you were there, that's it."

Zayn said it like it was a usual thing to happen, Liam sat up a bit from his place on his friend's bed, watching him as he flipped through the pages of some textbook while sitting on his chair, pretty absent, which maybe was why Liam wasn't too shy to ask. "Why does he want us to come so badly anyways, like… everyone else is probably gonna cheer on him as well…"

"I don't know, I think he really likes us… and he's trying extra hard with you as it seems like." What?

"No, he doesn't, why would he? We're just…" Friends or so, Liam wasn't sure, he hadn't been seeing a lot of Niall the past few days, he had seen him with another girl though, holding hands this time while walking across the campus, it had been quite weird to see, Liam was pretty sure she wasn't his girlfriend though. As far as he was aware, Niall never had girlfriends, or so he had been told at least, it kinda made sense too since he was always with different girls, or surrounded by different people, but somehow he always found a reason to text Liam, like today, when he had asked three times whether he'd really come to the game.

"Yeah, he does, he surely has never invited me for a walk in the park, like… not that I'd want to go, just saying, he seems to really want to be friends with you like he said. But then again, he's always nice to everyone so I really don't know, he just enjoys being liked I suppose, and have lots of friends." Shrugging, Zayn flipped to the next page, leaving Liam a bit worried, he knew all of that already, he had told the others about last sunday, again, they hadn't been very surprised or thought of it as weird, actually, they had been quite happy about it.

"Why me though? I'm not even gonna cheer on him because that's just weird, I mean…" Yeah, Liam wasn't gonna sit in the stands and jump up to scream every time Niall did anything, he'd just sit there for as long as the game lasted and not do anything at all to be honest.

"You should ask him that yourself, you know. Although you might get the usual answer, which is 'I just want us to be friends', and I think that's it, I think his personal life goal is to befriend every single person he meets. Except for the guy he's shared a room with before." Right, that was the only time Liam had heard that someone didn't get along with Niall, well… and his brother, Liam had still no idea what he looked like though. "Anyways, I think you gotta go, Li, or you're gonna be late."

"Right…" Sighing deeply, Liam moved to get out of Zayn's bed, he would have rather went to his own room now and just fallen asleep there, but he had promised Niall that he'd come and the younger boy had kept his promise about helping Liam with his project as well. Plus, Liam wasn't the kinda person to make promises he couldn't keep. "Alright, um… see you soon then?"

"Yeah, tell me how it went tomorrow, or text me. Have fun, Liam." Zayn finally looked up from his book as Liam walked past, smirking a bit as Liam rolled his eyes as he walked towards the door, nervousness pooling in his stomach now.

"I'll try." Was all he said before stepping into the hallway, pulling his phone out of his pockets in the process. 

Immediately, Liam wanted to groan because he hadn't felt a new text message coming in before, now he kinda felt really bad because it had been sent 10 minutes ago and he only read it now. Then again though, maybe he needed to stop trying to please everyone so much, it could happen that you don't see a text message, right? Even if it was from Niall.

 

_Niall 5:35 pm_

_heyyy, meet me in 10 mins by the changing rooms? :)_

 

Still, Liam quickly wrote back an answer, hating himself for fastening his steps so he could still be somewhat on time even though he was already late anyways, hell, he wasn't even sure if he knew where the changing rooms were anyways, now he probably needed to ask around too and hopefully Niall would still be there once he finally got there.

Luckily the sports field wasn't too far away from the dorms, even if Liam hadn't known the way already he would have easily found it now because it seemed that everyone was going to watch this game. Had Niall asked all these people to meet him by the changing rooms as well? Or was this just because it was Liam's first time to come watch him?

After asking two people who both rolled their eyes at Liam because he was literally almost right next to the place he wanted to be at, he did find the changing rooms, feeling slightly awkward when there was no Niall of sight but rather some half naked other football players yelling around and attempting to get dressed obviously. At least Niall hadn't asked Liam to meed him _inside_.

"Hey, what're you doing here?" Great, immediately, after waiting for about one minute and arguing whether to text Niall or not, Liam already got chatted up by some quite bulky guy, he didn't sound too happy at Liam being here and the brunette boy had to swallow hard, he really wasn't the type of person to get in a fight, not that he was so small and weak, he just really didn't want any trouble.

"I'm just waiting for someone." He replied as calmly as possible, hoping that he wouldn't be forced to use Niall's name as the other guy came even closer, opening his mouth to probably yell at Liam to get the fuck lost, but then his face changed all of a sudden and before Liam realized what was happening, someone wrapped their arms around his stomach from behind. Oh.

"Hey, Payno, where've you been?" Niall's giggle sounded the same as it always did, he only held on shortly before dropping his arms and walking around the older boy, a bright smile on his lips, as usual. 

"Sorry, Niall, didn't know that bloke's your friend. Sorry, man." The bulky guy immediately apologized, it was kinda amazing, he even found something like a smile for Liam before walking off, leaving him a bit stunned as Niall frowned slightly.

"What was that about? Did he say anything to you?" For some reason, Liam didn't really wanna talk about it so he just shrugged, secretly taking in Niall's appearance. He already was in full gear, his hair still perfectly styled from the day probably, that'd soon change probably, as soon as he put that helmet on. Not that that could've made him look bad.

"Sorry for being late, I was at Zayn's room and I forgot to check my phone… he said he can't come because he has to do something for uni." Liam would've expected Niall's face to get disappointed, or at least show some emotion besides happy, but it didn't really seem to bother him at all, in fact, he just threw his arm around Liam's shoulder, immediately causing him to freeze up for a few seconds, his nose filling with the boy's cologne. It wasn't a bad smell in any way.

"It's fine, Li, you're here, so I'm happy." Alright, that was a bit uncalled for maybe, but Liam returned the smile nevertheless, just so he wouldn't be rude of course. Was it always so hot here at this kinda time? "You already got somewhere to sit?"

"Uh, no. I just came right here…" Now he'd probably have to stand the whole time, but even while knowing that, Liam didn't consider leaving for some reason. Maybe it was Niall's heavy arm around his shoulders keeping him from thinking clearly.

"Oh. Well, you should probably go then, it's gonna start in a few minutes." He smiled, slowly letting go of the older boy then to look at him while Liam helplessly stared at something over Niall's shoulder, not sure if he could take seeing these bright, blue eyes now without getting even hotter. "I must say I'm quite disappointed, you didn't even bring any posters to cheer me on."

"What? I … I didn't know you wanted-"

"Oh, come one, Liam, I'm kidding." Laughing loudly, Niall had once again managed to make Liam blush embarrassingly much, punching his arm playfully while the other boy refused to look up. Why did he always do that. "It's enough that you came at all, you know. I really appreciate it."

"Uh… you're welcome." Not really, because Liam kinda didn't even want to be here, but then again, he kinda did and it was pretty nerve wrecking not to be able to make any sense of his emotions.

"Alright, we should both go probably. I'll see you afterwards, right?" It came out so natural that Liam found himself nodding automatically, finally looking at Niall to see his cheerful smile once more as he turned to go back inside the changing room. "Awesome, hope you're gonna enjoy it so much you wanna come again next time."

"Yeah, I…. good luck." That was appropriate to say right? Not like Liam could've held it back because it randomly slipped, but it seemed to have been enough for Niall to stop immediately, his cheeks were probably gonna split apart if he smiled any bigger than right now.

"Thank you." And then yes, he came back just to wrap his arms around Liam's neck, as if no one had ever wished him good luck or something, it seemed kinda ridiculous but Liam was too busy hugging back and trying to breathe normally as to consider this. Why did Niall always smell so nice? And why did his hair feel so soft against his cheek? "Okay, I really have to go now, I'll try to make a few points, watch me, okay?"

"Yeah…" Liam's throat felt slightly tight now as Niall pulled back, his dimple suited him so well, just like his whole football gear and that hair and… he was just naturally gorgeous, there was no shame in admitting that, was there?

As soon as Niall was gone Liam felt a bit weird, he tried calming down while going over to the stands, feeling slightly demotivated at seeing so many people there already. It meant he would have to squeeze past everyone to eventually find some place to sit there for a few hours while not knowing anyone. Did he really owe Niall that? Or was he just doing this to be nice? …or because he liked him and wanted to make him happy?

Liam tried to lock these questions away into the back of his head, he was here already, it didn't matter why he had come.

In the end, it took him so long to find a place to sit that the game had already started, everyone was loud, yelling around, cheering on different people, it was kinda annoying to be sitting squeezed tight in between them, not doing anything because Liam wasn't that kinda person really, he'd survive it, but he wasn't enjoying himself too overly much.

His eyes were on Niall the whole time, he didn't know any of the other players of course and the blonde boy seemed to really try and make points and the girls next to Liam were swooning over him the whole time through. Well, he couldn't blame them too much, Niall really was good at this, no wonder everyone always passed the football to him.

For the majority of the playtime nothing really happened, Niall's team was clearly having the overhand despite what the blonde boy had said to Liam about them losing all the time. Also, Niall did make a few points like he had been planning on, making Liam smile at seeing the boy jumping around in excitement, his friends immediately coming to hug and high five him.

It happened shortly before the end of the game, Liam was staring at Niall so he had a pretty good sight at the whole thing. There was some really big guy running after him and just before Niall could score yet another point he got tackled to the ground, really hard as it seemed like, and Liam hated himself for having his breath stopping for a second, but this hadn't been looking good at all.

The problem was not that Niall had fallen down and gotten buried underneath this massive looking guy, the problem was that he didn't get up again immediately, he was too far away as to really tell whether his face was in pain or not, but Liam was suddenly so worried that he was seriously considering going down to check on him. Which of course, he couldn't, and besides, the game got stopped for a second anyways and Niall's teammates went to check on him instead and helped him up, petting the dirt off him, rubbing his back.

"Oh god, I really hope he's not hurt." The girls next to Liam were openly expressing his own worries, but he just pressed his lips together, suppressing a sigh as the game continued. 

Only now, Niall wasn't running around too fast anymore, he was still participating of course, but no matter how hard he tried, Liam could see that something was wrong and it got to him more than he would've liked to admit. He was used to seeing Niall happy and kind of hyperactive, so this wasn't nice to witness, he was clearly trying to overplay what had happened, no idea if anyone else could see him limping sometimes, but Liam definitely could.

When the team won the noise was almost unbearable, everyone jumped up and yelled, even Liam got hugged by a few strangers as he tried to make his way down from the stands as quickly as possible. It seemed more than stupid to be worried about Niall, he was obviously down there with his teammates celebrating their win, but Liam couldn't just sit here and wait, he didn't even want to, he had plainly been here for the sake of watching the game, there was no point in waiting any longer. Especially not when Niall had gotten hurt.

Getting down was a disaster, it took Liam about 15 minutes at least and by that time, half the team had already disappeared into the changing rooms, including Niall probably since Liam couldn't really see him between all these masses of people, but he wasn't really sure either.

Sending him a text did exactly nothing, the blonde boy's phone was very likely in his bag somewhere and not with him so Liam wasn't too worried about that, he just texted Niall that he'd wait for him behind the changing rooms should he still wanna see him. Usually, Liam didn't text the other boy first, but over his worries he forgot to be embarrassed about it, like, he just wanted to check on Niall, this had nothing to do with anything at all, who wouldn't be worried after seeing this fall? Besides, it'd be the polite thing to do. Right.

No one was behind the changing room though Liam could very well hear them all screaming and laughing from the field, he was tired as hell now, leaning against the wall of the building, deciding that he wouldn't wait for longer than twenty minutes. Maybe Niall was fine after all, maybe he had just been in shock or so, like, the longer Liam thought about this, why would Niall want to see _him_ after getting hurt? He had so many friends, he surely wouldn't come here to-

"Liam." Or maybe he would.

"Niall, hey, are…" Liam immediately pushed away from the wall as he saw the other boy, too captivated by his face for a second as to see anything else, his face was sweaty, hair sticking to it, cheeks red and yet he still managed to look gorgeous as hell. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I… I'm fine." Okay, that didn't sound like it at all, Niall still had his dirty football gear on, his bag slung over his shoulder and a quite fake looking smile on his lips that caused Liam's heart to drop, he hadn't expected to ever see this bright face falter. "Just…"

And then Niall shrugged before gesturing down and Liam wanted to punch himself for not immediately noticing the boy's leg, his pants were ripped and there was obviously blood gushing out of a wound on his knee, it didn't seem like he was fine at all. "Shit, Niall, does it hurt?"

"I… " Then he hesitated, readjusting his bag before his smile slowly disappeared and he sighed, his words barely more than a breath. "Yeah… it really does… I don't know, I was… I was trying to run but it hurt so much… was it very noticeable? I was trying to ignore it, but…"

"It wasn't too noticeable, just… maybe we should go back to the dorms, okay? Like, you don't look too good…" Well he DID, but not in the sense that Liam meant, in fact, Niall seemed pretty shaky on his feet and the older boy didn't know why but he basically just wanted to offer that he would carry him and put bandaids on the wound. What was wrong with him?

"Yeah… yeah, let's go…" Niall agreed immediately to Liam's surprise, this must've really hurt if he voluntarily missed out on all the celebration, if he came to see Liam and only admitted that he was hurt after pretending that he was fine. Had he not wanted to let anyone else know? To not come off as weak? "Can you…"

"Yeah, sure, wait, give me that first." Normally Liam wouldn't have been so straight forward with Niall, but this situation was different, so he didn't feel embarrassed about simply going over and taking the boy's bag to carry it himself, kinda unsure about what to do afterwards though. "Can you walk?"

"Yeah, I can, just… help me?" Seeing Niall biting into his bottom lip caused Liam's mind to go slightly dizzy, he tried to suppress his inappropriate thoughts though as he nodded, carefully wrapping his arm around Niall's waist as the other boy wrapped his around Liam's shoulder, a bit too tight maybe, but Liam didn't mind it at all for some reason. "God, I hope no one sees us…"

"Why?" It kinda was obvious why, but the question still slipped out somehow, Liam was more focused on taking small steps and going slowly enough for Niall rather than watching his words. 

"'cos it's embarrassing, I… I should be with the others, but like… there's fucking blood running down my leg right now and it doesn't feel very good. God…I wish this wouldn't have happened…" Hearing these things out of Niall's mouth was weird, like, for once his mood was anything but cheerful, he seemed beaten down obviously and Liam could see his face scrunching up once as he looked over, automatically tightening his arm to support Niall more, it still obviously hurt him to walk, even with Liam's help. How in god's name had he managed to run before?

"It wasn't your fault, Niall, and this really looks like it hurts, who cares if you're limping, you're fucking bleeding." Actually, his white pants had gotten rather blood soaked by now, thought it seemed like dry blood a bit too, Liam was kinda glad he hadn't seen that from where he had been on the stands because it would've been even harder to old back and not go down there. 

"I know, but… it just sucks. Gotta find a really good excuse for tomorrow…" There was a groan coming from him that distracted Liam a bit from Niall's words, he felt like the other boy wouldn't have been talking so openly had he not been in such pain, because a few seconds later, after a quick break so Niall could catch his breath, his mood had suddenly changed. "So how'd you enjoy the game? Did you see the last point I scored? We've never done so good before, must've been because you came, you brought us good luck, Li, you gotta come every time now."

"Yeah, I… I don't know about that." Letting out a short, nervous laugh, Liam felt himself blushing a bit as he reached up with his free arm to hold Niall's wrist on his shoulder because he was slipping, it's not that he wanted to hold onto him so desperately, it just made things easier. "But I saw it, yeah… I saw everything you did pretty much, don't know anyone else I could watch, so…"

"This is why I want you to come to my games." Though he was chuckling, Liam kinda wondered if it was true, was that really the reason? But if it were, Niall could've basically asked half the campus instead of Liam or the others, maybe he had, but then again, they would've probably shown up anyways. Who knows who the girls next to Liam had been, maybe they were Niall's latest hookup or so, not that that would've been bad just… it made Liam feel a bit weird to think about all of a sudden. 

They took ages to get to the dorms of course, a few people did see them, but no one who Niall seemed to know surprisingly, because they probably all were back celebrating as he pointed out, sounding quite sad that he couldn't be there as well while Liam secretly thanked the heavens that he wasn't.

"Okay, I need a quick break, please, shit…" Niall's face was even sweatier than after running around the whole field for over an hour, his hair basically looked wet by now as Liam helped him to sit on the second lowest step, worriedly watching as Niall rubbed his hands over his face, his face scrunching up once more. "I feel so fucking gross right now, how am I ever gonna get up to my room?"

"I could…" No, Liam, don't say it, don't even think about it, just- "I could carry you, you know…"

Well shit, now that it was out, Liam would probably have to do it, he was uselessly standing in front of Niall, knowing he should have been at least a little bit grossed out because of Niall having leaned onto him for so long with his wet clothes rubbing against Liam's but he wasn't somehow. And now he had just indirectly offered even more touching. "Really?"

Niall's head had shot up immediately, he didn't seem very sure about it, very untypical for him, Liam assumed that it was because he had problems admitting that he couldn't do something by himself maybe, at least that would explain why he had been trying to play football with a bleeding knee. Which, by the way, wasn't looking very good right now. "Yeah, I mean… it won't be easy up the stairs but it's still gonna be a lot faster. And less painful."

For a second or two, Liam thought Niall would actually just say no, but the boy kept staring at him for a bit, studying his face before nodding slowly, attempting to stand back up. "Okay, yeah… let's try. But if I'm too heavy I'll just walk, don't want you to break your back or somethin'."

"I guess I'll manage." Due to the fact that Niall was very week on his feet, Liam automatically reached out to help him stand up, which was the easiest part about this because once Niall was right next to him, Liam had to figure out how to best pick him up. "Alright, I'll just… tell me if it hurts or anything or… you know."

"I'll be fine." Didn't sound very confident at all to be honest.

Liam's face felt burning hot as he put his arms and hands on Niall, feeling the boy hugging his neck way too tightly, probably scared that he might slip, but surprisingly enough, he wasn't that heavy at all, he was actually rather light. "You weigh like, nothing."

"Ha, ha, ha, Liam, I'm working my ass off on that field for hours every week, don't tell me it was for nothing." He was seriously pouting now, making Liam laugh shortly as he attempted to walk up the stairs, his hear pounding in his chest, not only because he was scared of dropping Niall and hurting him, but also because he was hyper aware of every place they were touching. And Niall's breath against his face, his hot skin radiating warmth, fingers touching Liam's neck. "…am I really not that heavy? Or are you just really strong?"

"The second." Liam joked, now that the station had led to all of this, at least he had become a bit more comfortable about what he was saying, warmth pooling in his stomach because he had caused Niall to giggle shortly. "No, you're not heavy at all really… and it's only two staircases."

"Well, you're definitely not weak, that's for sure." Had that been a complement? 

"Thanks… I guess…" Then Liam decided it'd be better to not talk anymore, just in case, so Niall wouldn't hear it if his breath got heavy, and besides, he had to really concentrate here because he couldn't really see the steps he was taking.

For once, Niall seemed to run of words too, but then as Liam looked down at him once second, he saw the boys face crunched up in pain, immediately causing his stomach to drop. Right, they needed to really get Niall to lie down and put something on that wound, hopefully it was just superficial, Liam kinda had the feeling that Niall wasn't so good with blood, he had not once looked down onto his own leg to check it.

Luckily Louis wasn't there because the thing he was busy with was of course sleeping over at Harry's house, Liam felt his cheeks turning red at just the thought of his friend opening the door to see Liam carrying Niall like that, like… this was an emergency kind of, but try explaining that to Louis before he bursted out into laughter for ten minutes.

Liam tried putting Niall down as carefully and gentle as possible to not cause him anymore pain, protectively leaving his hand near the boy's back as he unlocked the door to his room, just in case of course, better safe than sorry right? "God, I need to sit down…"

"Okay… better not sit on your bed though…" He was really dirty from behind, not that Liam was staring at his ass or something, but it was pretty hard to overlook to be honest, especially because Niall took so long with his limping. "Wait, I can help you."

"I got it." Niall's voice sounded a bit exhausted, he let out a tiny yelp as he tried to let himself slide down onto the floor, leaning back against the bed as he closed his eyes, very slowly trying to stretch both legs. "'m gonna die…"

"No, you're not, hey… maybe take that stuff off, you look like you're hot- I-I mean… it's really hot in here." For god's sake, couldn't Liam pull himself together, the only thing keeping Niall from noticing his constant fuck ups was the fact that he had troubles of his own down there on the floor.

"Yeah… okay." Since Liam didn't really know how to help the boy with that, he just sat down in front of him, watching kinda worriedly, kinda embarrassed as Niall pulled his top off with a bit of a struggle and a very pained face before sitting back again, with a bare, sweat glistering upper body, chest heaving. "That wasn't as easy as it looked like, shit… I don't wanna take my pants off, it's gonna hurt so much, I never wanna touch my leg again."

"Come on, Niall, you'll be glad you did it, it's only gonna hurt for a while." Somehow it was easier to make conversation with the boy when he was like this, not that Liam enjoyed the Niall's misery, but it was true nevertheless.

Niall eventually agreed after a short break, he took both his shoes and socks off first, luckily not seeing how red Liam face went when he unbuttoned his pants, starting to pull them down his good leg first, which went quite well. He was basically almost naked after this, just in boxer shorts, not brave enough to shove his pants down further than a bit above his bleeding knee. The whole material was red by now, luckily Liam had no problem seeing blood like Niall seemed to have, he still refused to look at it. "I… I can't do it… 'm scared…"

"Do you… you want me to do it?" Offering that seemed like the right thing to do, Liam wasn't so keen on hurting Niall, but as their eyes met and he saw how shiny the blonde boy's were, he didn't hesitate to reach out. If he started crying then… that would basically be the end of the world to be honest.

"O-Okay… but slowly…please." Niall's voice was shaking now, he seemed terrified as Liam reached out, it was strange seeing him like this, no idea if Liam would be able to erase this moment from his mind again, from when Niall had suddenly shown a few cracks in his happy facade. 

"I'll be careful, yeah?" His voice had gone surprisingly soft by itself, Niall seemed to appreciate it though because he nodded slowly, checking Liam's face again before closing his eyes, head falling back against the bed as the older boy gently started pulling the boy's pants down, a little over his knee and then… Niall hissed in pain.

The younger boy's hands came flying up immediately, he probably didn't even notice what he was doing, but he put them over Liam's, holding on to stop him from doing anything more. "Stop, stop, wait, please, Liam, I… shit…"

"Hey, it's fine, Niall. I'll wait." Yeah and while he was at it, Liam would just stare down to see their hands together on top of each other, the way Niall's rough palms pressed down on his fingers, how pale Niall's skin was in contrast to Liam's, it was kind of amazing to watch. "You okay, Ni?"

To his surprise the boy let out a breathless, forced laugh, but he shook his head at the same time so it didn't come out very convincing. "Nice nickname…"

"Oh… yeah, I…. thought it'd fit mine." Right, that was about the dumbest thing he could have said, Liam hadn't even noticed what he had called Niall but it was too late now and besides, the younger boy didn't really seem to mind, he smiled the tiniest bit as their eyes locked, but he looked more exhausted than Liam had ever seen him.

"Yeah, it does…" Then he swallowed hard, waiting a few more second before slowly nodding, eyes about to close again, hands still pressing down onto Liam's but he slowly let them slip now. "Okay… just do it, pull it down in one go."

"Okay… " Nervous, Liam tried to prepare himself for doing it and most likely really hurting Niall, the fabric of his pants was stuck to the wound and the blood, it wouldn't be comfortable to rip it down like that. "On three. One….. two…."

At one point in his life, Liam might have heard that it would hurt less if the other person didn't expect it, so he actually pulled down after two, in one go like Niall had said, and really quickly. That advice turned out to be very wrong because Niall let out a groan, his eyes wide in shock once Liam was done, staring at the boy's now exposed leg. "YOU SAID THREE!" 

"Sorry, I…thought it'd hurt less like this, I…" Liam was only listening with one ear to Niall's protest, his attention was more focused on the boy's leg, the blood was dried, but now that he had basically ripped Niall's pants off there was fresh blood coming, which luckily stayed unnoticed by the blonde boy. For now. "Niall… do you have like, paper towels? Or a towel you don't need anymore?"

"What? Why-" Yeah, and then he looked down and all color drained from his face while Liam watched his change of mood worriedly, feeling slightly helpless. "Oh my god. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna bleed out, I feel so sick, oh my fucking god, I can't see blood I-"

"Shh, Niall, calm down, okay? It looks worse than it is, just close your eyes and lean your head back and tell me when you feel like you'll pass out, okay? Calm down." Easier said than done, though Niall nodded a tiny bit, doing what Liam had told him to, he was trembling now, probably also because he was cold since he was sitting here all sweaty and half naked, but there really were more serious issues Liam had to deal with right now, no time for blushing or overthinking. "Just sit here, okay? I'll just-"

"Don't go!" Niall's voice was full of panic as soon as Liam had gotten up, he tried to smile down at the younger boy, ignoring the weird feeling in his stomach.

"I'm not, I'm looking for something to wipe away the blood, alright?" Nodding hesitantly, Niall slowly leaned back again, not closing his eyes anymore though, Liam could feel the boy's stare in his back as he walked over to the sink, deciding that he could as well take the towel there and make it wet, it'd be ruined afterwards but he highly doubted that Niall and Louis were ever washing their hands in here.

He also found some bandaids in Louis' stuff, even if he felt bad going through it like that, but at least it made Niall laugh breathlessly as he accidentally pulled out some lube before coming back to sit in front of the younger boy again, face bright red now.

"This is gonna hurt maybe, I'm gonna try to be gentle, but… unless you wanna do it yourself." Liam had just assumed that he would be the one to do it and like expected, Niall immediately shook his head at the question, his face still as white as the wall behind the bed. "I hope we won't need anything to disinfect it because I have no idea where to get something."

"You could take the vodka under my bed." Yeah, Liam was not gonna pour the vodka from under the bed over this boy's leg even if he had sounded pretty serious while suggesting it. 

Of course the whole process of trying to get Niall's leg blood free involved a lot of skin on skin touching, but Liam tried his best to not do anything weird or stupid, it was just a bit hard to concentrate on being careful and not hurting Niall when the younger boy was staring at his face the whole entire time, because 'I'm just gonna look at you instead of my leg so I won't have to throw up on your lap'. Yeah.

"You know, I can barely feel anything, maybe it's going numb, or maybe you're just really good at this." Niall was babbling the whole time, which was good because then at least he wouldn't pass out on Liam and leave him completely panicked having to call someone to help him and explain the whole situation. "I don't think I can go showering after this, I feel so gross, but imagine if the wound gets wet and just imagine how long it's gonna take me to get there, I'm absolutely knackered, think I'm just gonna wash my sheets tomorrow or so and just go to bed after this…"

"Yeah, I mean… it's not like you can really go somewhere now, so…" Liam wasn't trying to be mean and rub it into Niall's face, it was simply the truth and the younger boy agreed quietly, falling in a short silence as Liam finished up putting bandaids over the wound. After the blood was gone it didn't look too bad anymore, but it looked bruised as well, so Niall would probably be reminded of his fall for the next few days. "Alright, I'm done. It's not so bad, maybe ask Louis if you can borrow his bandaids again to change them and… I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I don't think it's still gonna hurt like that tomorrow. Maybe burn."

"Thank you, Liam, really, I don't know how many people would want to wipe blood off my leg." The whole campus.

"It's fine, really… do you wanna lie down now?" His hair didn't seem too wet anymore and his face wasn't glistering with sweat anymore either, though Liam could imagine that Niall felt like crap now, he really didn't want to carry him to the shower in his boxer shorts and then maybe help him in there as well, like… some things better stayed undone. "Come on."

Helping Niall to stand back up and get into bed was almost causing Liam to blush yet again, he had to touch the boy's bare skin, not grossed out because he hadn't showered but rather nervous about where he was allowed to put his hand or not, like, his lower back seemed a bit too risky, and his hip, better not. Like, not that Niall seemed to care or notice, he basically fell into bed with a heavy groan, not complaining the slightest as Liam threw the blanket over him, carelessly enough so it wouldn't look weird but also not like he didn't care at all. Weird, now Liam had to make up scripts for everything so he wouldn't do anything questionable or wrong.

"Never knew lying in bed could feel this good…" Niall let out a sigh as he shifted around a bit, obviously finding a very comfortable position, his eyelids already looking like they were dropping closed as he ran a hand through his hair, staring up at Liam still standing there. "Thanks, Li…"

"You're welcome, I… I'll let you sleep now, okay?" Then he hesitated, like, he was still slightly worried for some reason, even more after having seen Niall almost breaking down and now that he was all tucked in bed looking like he might pass out any second. "Call me if anything's wrong."

"I will, thank you." It sounded very genuine, there was something in Niall's face that Liam couldn't identify because he forced himself to look away, quickly throwing away the remnants of the bandaids and the bloody towel before going for the door, his hand already touching the handle as he was stopped in his movement. "Wait, Liam, I…"

"What's wrong?" Apparently a lot, Niall's face didn't look very happy as the older boy turned around, kind of alarmed at seeing Niall lowering his eyes for a second, he was leaning onto his elbows as Liam slowly walked back to the bed, no idea what could be going on. 

"Uh… can you stay for a little longer?" Oh. Now that was unexpected, especially the fact that it seemed to come so hard over Niall's lips, as if he was scared to ask, as if he didn't want to admit that he didn't want to be alone. What if? What if he was scared of being left alone?

"Yeah, sure…" Liam didn't mind it, not at all, he did feel himself blush a bit, but the fact that Niall had gotten more quiet and slightly shy even was helping the older boy to feel more comfortable, weird as it was. 

"Thanks… I'll even make some space for you, okay?" Immediately, Niall sounded relieved, his smile slowly came back as he moved to the wall, leaving an empty space beside him that obviously was meant for Liam. Should he really… get into bed with Niall? "You don't have to of course, just… it'd be uncomfortable to stand around I suppose…"

"Yeah… probably…" Okay, this didn't mean anything at all, it wasn't like they were about to cuddle here, so Liam just took a quick breath before taking his shoes off and going to sit on the bed, leaning his head against the frame and trying his hardest not to stare down at Niall looking all soft and sleepy and… a little bit cute only. "I'll stay until you're asleep, okay?"

"You can also sleep here if you want to, I don't mind." He chuckled softly, his good mood was back apparently, or at least something like that, for some reason Liam thought he could still hear the nervousness in the boy's voice, but maybe that was just his imagination because he was nervous enough for the both of them. "Liam? Can we like… talk or so? Talking makes me really tired when I'm in bed."

"Y-Yeah… of course. Uh… what do you wanna talk about?" And then Niall just bursted out with the most random topic ever and it felt as if they were talking for hours without a break in between before Liam got comfortable enough to lie down a bit as well, feeling sleepier by the second.

It was nice, no doubt, Niall quickly became his old self again even if Liam was aware that today would stay burned in his mind from now on, it kinda helped to know there were things Niall was scared of, that he wasn't as perfect as it seemed like from the outside. He was just a normal guy too, that was probably the most important thing Liam figured out that evening. Which was a good thing because the next day when he woke up, he was still in Niall's bed with the blonde boy sleeping soundly next to him, obviously not disturbed by Liam's arm having ended up around his waist.

 

———————

 

"Li, we gotta talk." Liam had dreaded this moment to happen, he had been ignoring his phone almost all day long, trying to keep busy with uni work, paying extra much attention during classes and so on. But it hadn't helped him to escape completely, not now when it was 9 pm and he was in his room, having internally prayed that this day would just pass without further incidents. Sadly, that bubble had bursted as soon as Louis had texted him to open up his door. 

And now he was there, in Liam's doorframe, not looking very excited about the fact that he had had to come. It's not like Liam didn't know what this was about, he just sighed, letting his friend walk past him and inside the room before closing the door after him, taking his time to turn around. "Um… what do you wanna talk about?"

"Just came to see if you're alright to be honest." Right, maybe he wasn't gonna hold a lecture now even if it quite seemed like it judging by the way he stared at Liam, sitting on the edge of the bed. "And you know what I wanna talk about, it's not so hard to guess I believe."

"I know." Liam sighed deeply before falling back onto his mattress, putting his arm over his eyes because this was gonna be an exhausting talk, he could feel it. "Look, Lou… Niall got hurt during the game and he was in pain and really beaten down, so I took him to his room and helped him put bandaids on and get into bed. And then he asked me to stay for a while and I eventually slept in too. I know what it must've looked like, okay? But I didn't put my arm around him on purpose, and trust me, it was a lot more uncomfortable for me to wake up like this than it has been for you having to watch it." 

"So, you didn't do anything with him, right? I mean, Niall looked pretty naked and-"

"No! Oh my god, Louis, we didn't do anything, we simply slept in! Oh my god, he had boxer shorts on." That was what Louis had been thinking the whole day long?! That Liam and Niall had fucking hooked up?!

"Okay, good…I mean it's not like I've ever heard Niall hooking up with guys too, but for a moment I thought… " Louis released a breath as Liam decided to sit back up, he was tired as hell but his head was filled with so many weird thoughts that he didn't even know whether he'd be able to sleep in or not. God was he glad that this morning was over. He and Niall had basically woken up looking at each other and once Liam had awkwardly apologized and removed his arm, Niall had simply laughed all of it off, not minding one bit as it seemed like, yesterday's fall and his leg seemingly forgotten. Well, he did thank Liam once more and he was still limping as he walked out into the hallway with Liam before they parted and the older boy hurried to his room while Niall decided to finally have that overdue shower. Not that he had smelled bad or anything, just…

So far so good, Liam had taken a few minutes in his room just staring blankly at the wall trying to figure out what was wrong with him before eventually packing his stuff and leaving for class. Maybe he could've been able to live with what had happened, but then he had made a big mistake and checked his phone, almost dropping it right away again at the message Louis had sent him. _How's Niall's mattress feel like?_ He had seriously asked that and Liam had never replied, he hadn't talked to a single person the whole day long or looked at his phone again. No wonder Louis had come.

"There's no need for a talk, okay? It's fine, nothing happened." Liam was well aware that he was behaving rather weird, if this would've happened to him with anyone but Niall he would've just immediately texted Louis the truth after checking his phone. But he hadn't and it had made him more than just suspicious looking, Liam was such an idiot really, it was just… why couldn't he stop thinking about it?!

For a minute or two, none of them talked, Louis was looking at Liam the whole time while the younger boy just stared into his lap, twisting his fingers together and waiting for the storm to come. It hit harder than expected. "Did you _want_ anything to happen?"

"No?! Oh my fucking god, why are you asking me this, are you crazy?!" Immediately, Liam had gone from 0 to 100, he couldn't believe that Louis was fucking accusing him of this, what was he even thinking?! And to top it off, it didn't even seem like he was teasing Liam, worse, it seemed like he was genuinely worried about his friend. 

"I was just checking, Liam, okay? I'm your best friend, I'm allowed to worry!" Yeah, just not about things that were on Liam's mind 24/7 without him knowing a reason.

"I know, sorry, just… I don't know what to say…" As quickly as the anger had come it passed by again, leaving Liam slightly scared for some reason, he didn't even know why this was so hard to talk about, why it bothered him so much that he had seen Niall on a bench with a stupidly giggling girl on his lap as he had walked back to the dorms before. Who cared what he did, they were just friends who had shared a bed, no big deal, Liam had shared a bed with both Zayn and Louis before as well.

"It's okay, Liam, you don't have to say anything, just… don't forget what I told you. And what common sense tells you when you see him with a different girl every day." Was it THAT kinda talk? Liam couldn't even be mad to be honest, he was staring at his wall now, the one with the posters on, again hating himself for not having them all ripped down already.

"I'm not like… crushing on him, Lou, we're just friends." Which was more than Liam had ever planned on them being, just… how else should he call this? Besides, this had been Niall's goal, he had never made a secret about it either, he had wanted them to get along.

"i'm just saying, Liam. You know why I freaked out when I saw you and him sleeping in his bed, not because I don't like him or because I wouldn't be happy for you if… you know, but… not with him. He's a good guy, he's friendly, but he's not the type to fall in love with someone and then stay with them. And I know you're the complete opposite of that, so… I just don't want you to get hurt." There it was, the thing that had Liam's throat going tight even if he hadn't even wanted it to, there was no reason, he didn't even know Niall well enough to have a stupid crush on him. "Please be careful, okay?"

"I am being careful, I'm not even doing anything… " Right, that had sounded like a child pouting, but Liam wasn't really in control of his words to be honest, he was way too busy trying not to overthink what Louis had just said. "He's the one who always wants to hang out, and who made me come to his stupid game and then asked me to see him afterwards and wanted me to stay with him."

"I know, Liam, but…" This time Liam actually did look over, regretting it immediately as he saw Louis' facial expression, he was obviously fighting with his words, hesitating before speaking what was on his mind, immediately crushing Liam's hopes that this might not be as bad as he thought it would be. "He's like this with everyone. It's because you're new and because you're my friend and Zayn's, that's why he's trying so hard and making all this time to hang out, but… I'm not saying he doesn't genuinely want to be your friend, I'm just saying that… being friends with Niall can be hard. Like, after a time he starts to have less time and then he'll randomly come back, he doesn't know that he's doing this but he does, and it works with most people because you know that I don't really care, neither do any of his other friends. He's with these people and then on another day with someone else and everyone always gladly accepts it because they all wanna spend them with him. And now it's you, but… you're always gonna have to share Niall, he's everyone's friend."

Okay now, this hit Liam hard for some reason like… he hadn't thought that he was special or anything, that Niall really liked him or so, just… hearing a confirmation wasn't nice either. He looked away from Louis, suddenly feeling embarrassment rushing through him like, what had he been expecting anyways, he had known all of that before. "I know, just… it's still weird, I mean… do you think he asked everyone else to come to the game too? Like, why ask us?"

"Because we're the only ones who don't immediately jump when he does something, we kinda treat him like he treats us and I don't think he likes that, you see how he's acting when he's hanging out with us, he knows we've all been friends without him before, that he's the one who's kinda the outsider. He's not used to that, he wants to be admired by people and loved, that's just him. Not a bad thing just… he can't really impress any of us and he knows that." Wow, shit. If all of that was true then… was Niall only being so nice to Liam because he wanted to make sure the others would still accept him and want to hang out with him too? Did he even like _anything_ about Liam?!

"But Zayn said that-"

"I know what he said, Liam, he told me. He regretted telling you that and acting like he doesn't know what's going on, but don't be mad at him, he just doesn't want you to get hurt, he thought we shouldn't tell you so directly, but ever since this morning…." Alright, so Zayn had been lying. Awesome. So Niall didn't like Liam somehow special over the others, of course not, Liam had known that, he hadn't even believed it for a second anyways. "Look, Li. Just try and find other people, okay? You have us and you have only been here so shortly, you'll see it gets better and that you won't always have to say yes to whatever Niall suggests, he's a good friend, but not one I'd rely on if it's getting serious."

"So what am I supposed to do? Tell him to fuck off?" Because Liam would gladly do that right now, if there hadn't been tears burning in his eyes. From anger of course, not from disappointment.

"No. Just be normal around him and… don't confront him. There's no use and if you do he'll know what to say, he's good with his words and he probably really means them, but it won't change anything. He's not hurting anybody on purpose, not even these girls he's hooking up with, he just wants to have fun and be friends with everybody and not take anything too seriously." That sounded a lot like Niall to be honest, but not like the Niall from last night. It was weird that Liam tried to find excuses for himself, that he didn't wanna admit that Louis was right, that he somehow wanted to keep on believing that Niall really did like him differently somehow, that maybe they could be better friends, that Zayn hadn't been lying when he had said that Niall was treating Liam differently.

But why would he want that? Why would he want to be 'special'? And how could he even be when half the campus wanted to be the exact same thing for Niall? Liam really wished he could've cared as little as Louis and the others did, how did they do it? How did they not care what Niall Horan thought about them and if he wanted to hang out with them? "What if he asks me to hang out again?"

"That's up to you, Li, I mean… it's not that he's an ass or an idiot, I do like hanging out with him too, you know, I just don't care if we don't." Louis shrugged, probably no idea how fucking jealous Liam was right at this second, he had Harry and they were happy and they didn't even need anyone else, probably not even Liam. "All I wanted to tell you is to be careful, nothing else, not that you have to stay away from him or whatever, just… don't get in too deep, that's all."

"You were the one who told me that him and me should be friends though." Well, Liam couldn't exactly blame Louis and he also didn't want to, he just wished he would've heard all of this a little sooner.

"Yeah, because I do want you guys to be friends, plus you are new and Niall knows lots of people and it's easier like that for you. I just didn't expect you to… I didn't think you'd grow so fond of him so quickly." Awesome, now if that wasn't embarrassing as hell then…

"I'm not…" Liam tried defending himself, slowly lying back down again and moving the arm over his eyes again, he should've stayed in this position the whole time, it made things a lot easier, when he couldn't see Louis' face anymore.

"It's okay if you are, there's a reason why he's so popular. Just think about what I just said and don't expect too much and you'll be perfectly fine, okay? And I'm here if you wanna talk, and Harry and Zayn as well, you're not alone, we got your back." And then Liam felt the mattress move as Louis went to lie down next to him, not pulling Liam's arm away from his face or forcing him to look at him or give an answer, he just stayed quiet for a moment. "So, Harry thinks he should throw a party, like, next friday or so, and you'd come, right?"

And that was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's more shit gonna go down after this one, promise, just needed to like, introduce them a bit and all!


	4. Chapter 4

After that talk with Louis, Liam was really beaten down, though he tried to tell himself it didn't bother him, that he had known all of this before, that it didn't change anything at all and that of course Niall wasn't always gonna be like this around Liam as he had been the past few days, he had just been trying to be nice of course.

Then again Liam had to think of Niall getting hurt and how he had been trying to hide it in front of everyone, how he hadn't been wanted to be alone and then when they had gone to the park a few days ago, when he had been nice to that little girl, and before when he had talked about all these things, how excited he had been to share them with Liam, it's just… the older boy had really started to see Niall differently after all this, like, he hadn't known him at all before of course, but his first impression and the way he thought about the blonde boy now differed greatly from each other.

So now Liam had three problems, one, he still had that project to do and though he had tried writing some things down, he wasn't sure if he would be able to finish this or if it would turn out to be complete trash, two, he couldn't stop thinking about what Louis had said, and three… he couldn't fucking stop thinking about Niall either. Well, and then the obvious issue of course, what the hell was he supposed to do now?!

So yeah, the next few days weren't exactly packed with anything fun, actually, Liam started to become quite home sick, not for his own uni but his family and all, his own room, his house, his dog Loki, he might have called his mum a bit too often, having to stop then because she started to get worried.

It wasn't that Liam was alone or anything, he had his friends of course, plus there were a few people in his classes who he managed to get on a friendly basis with as well, but most of the time, he still felt lonely nevertheless.

Of course he never texted Niall first, or went to confront him or even talk to him, it was the blonde boy who did that, brightly smiling at Liam when they saw each other around on campus, sometimes sending him these weird texts saying nothing but 'I just figured out I really like diet coke, maybe you can use that for your project', like NO, Liam couldn't use that at all but he couldn't have said that, right? And for some reason he also didn't want to, because then maybe Niall would stop randomly texting him these useless things and as much as Liam hated admitting it… he really wanted to know them.

They didn't hang out for a while, so Liam didn't really get a chance to ask whether Niall's leg still hurt, he also didn't wanna ask via text message and come off as creepily obsessed with the blonde boy. Which he wasn't of course, he actually tried really hard not to think about him anymore, which was hard, or talk about him with any of his friends just so they wouldn't get suspicious. 

Maybe it would have helped if Liam didn't have a talent for getting into the most ridiculous situations ever.

On monday, Liam was lying awake at 6 am for some reason, usually his classes didn't start before 9, but today the first one had been cancelled so he basically had nothing to do for the next 5 hours, meaning he could've slept in, but of course his brain wasn't having that. Then again, maybe Liam was rather awake than having yet another really weird dream about Niall.

Instead of uselessly lying around and staring at the ceiling while once again counting the days until his next break, Liam decided to be a little bit productive and go for a quick run, it was early enough so that barely anyone would be outside and also, it would maybe help to clear his head a little bit. It usually always did.

Since of course Liam didn't have that much orientation outside of campus, he had no other choice but to run in the park he and Niall had gone to like, a week ago already, but of course, that didn't help Liam to simply forget about it. 

In fact, the blonde boy was all he thought about during his whole run, barely even able to hear the music coming from his headphones, he was honestly somewhere completely else with his mind, not even sure how much time had passed by or where the hell he was going. The only thing he knew was that apparently someone else had been taking the exact same way, completely bringing Liam out of concept as they bumped into each other in a quite painful way, Liam almost lost his balance but managed to keep himself on his feet, not quite like the person who he had collided with who was now letting out some grunt from somewhere on the ground. Shit. 

"Hey, I'm so sorry." Liam immediately felt guilty, but it had all happened so quickly that he needed a second to realize what had happened, immediately pulling his headphones out as he turned around to face the person, already having his hand stretched towards them before even properly looking. Maybe this was a sign, that he needed to stop thinking about Niall or otherwise bad things might happen. 

"It's fine, just… shit." And then as the boy looked up, Liam was close to loosing his balance once again, almost pulling his hand right back as he stared down at Niall's face, like, why was he even surprised honestly?! OF COURSE they would meet here, now, like this! The blond boy only needed two seconds for his face to turn from surprised to happy, already having grabbed a hold of Liam's hand "Liam! Hey! You should've told me you went running, we could've gone together!"

"Uh…" Why did this always have to happen, seriously?! Just five minutes ago Liam had been worrying about whether he should ever even speak to Niall again and now the blonde boy's hand was clenched around his while Liam just stood there all limb, not even pulling or helping as Niall got back to his feet all by himself. "I … I didn't… didn't think you, um, would wanna get up so early…"

"It's fine, I know you probably didn't think of asking me." Then he just randomly laughed, petting some grass and small stones from his clothes while Liam just stood there half frozen, watching and trying to figure out what great evil he had committed to deserve this. And why exactly was Niall in a tight shirt and running shorts?! Right, because he WAS running. "Luckily I didn't fall on my knee, I didn't get hurt at all, was just shocked."

"Right…. how's your leg?" Now he could finally ask, after days, Niall had the wound covered with bandaids though, so Liam couldn't tell, but if he could go for jogs then he must've been fine, right? Not that Liam cared or anything, but it had been his fault that they had collided.

"It's fine, I mean, it still hurts when I go shower and it gets wet but I hardly notice it when I walk now. It does look quite ugly and creepy though… but it's gonna heal, right? Like, completely, I mean?" Why was he asking Liam that, and staring at him with such a serious face, like, how would he know, he was still all flushed from what had happened.

"I guess so, I mean… didn't look very deep." Shrugging, Liam looked down, kicking at a stone while trying to figure out how he could get rid of Niall now, it's not that he despised the boy's presence, quite the opposite actually, just… he hadn't made up his mind yet and the talk with Louis was still very prominent in his head too. "Well, I guess… I guess you're gonna go in the other direction."

For some reason Niall looked very surprised, maybe because Liam was being a bit too straight forward with how badly he just wanted to keep on running and forget about what had just happened. Most of all he wanted to get rid of the image he had in his head now, of Niall in these clothes, and why was he always seeing the boy all sweaty anyways?! "Well, I was gonna run back now actually, but… how long were you gonna run? It's like 8, don't you have classes?"

"Oh, I…" Right, Liam hadn't noticed he had been out for that long, he had been planning on an hour maybe, apparently he wasn't as out of shape yet as he had thought he would be. "No, I don't… only at 11, my first class has been cancelled so I thought, you know…"

"Oh, so you have nothing to do for the next 3 hours?" Awesome, why had Liam told him that?! He could tell by the way Niall's eyes lit up, paired with that cheeky smile he had on again, that he was gonna regret this. A lot probably.

"I guess…" Lying wouldn't help Liam anymore now, it was kinda weird though, there was a part in him that told him to run, that reminded him of Louis' words, the truth, but then again something drew him to Niall, wanted the blonde boy to laugh and ask Liam to hang out again, anything really to spend some time with him, it's like he was one of those other people who wanted Niall's attention. But how could he be, if he knew exactly why the blonde boy was like this and how this would end? Right, he wasn't, he was just… being nice.

"Awesome, me too. Actually, I got 4 hours, like, I'm thinking of just skipping the whole day, it's not worth it anymore I guess." He shrugged, it seemed a very Niall-like thing to do something like this and Liam actually hated himself for being able to say that. "Hey, you know what? Maybe we could like, go have breakfast or something, like we said, remember? Only if you want to, of course, and if you're done running, but I thought of taking a shower and then, you know… I'm really hungry, like." 

"Well, I…" Niall seemed so excited about his idea, though he wasn't even looking at Liam actually, he just took his second earphone out as well know before stuffing them into his pockets, as if he was already preparing to walk back with Liam. Well, this was awkward… "I mean I-"

"Come on, Li, you said you would have breakfast with me!" He hadn't?! Why was Niall pretending to be pouting now when he was _clearly_ not?! "Please? I'll even pay, I promise."

"You don't have to pay for me." What was up with him anyways, why would he wanna do that, AGAIN?

"So that was a yes then, right?" Shit, Liam hadn't really thought about that, he had been trying to figure out what would happen if he did agree and then come to the conclusion that he had never wanted to find out. But Niall's face was suddenly even brighter than the sun and then he ran his fingers through his slightly damp, blonde hair and Liam mindlessly nodded for some reason. "Sick. Let's leave, we could also like, jog back or something, if you want, it'd be faster."

"Uh, sure… why not." Actually, Liam didn't want to jog back at all, but he was a bit blinded by the other boy's laugh and the way his shirt made his shoulders look broader than they were, the way he moved and the sparkle in his eyes whenever things went how he wanted them to go. Which was, all the time, apparently. "I… do you really think it's a good idea to skip all your classes?"

No idea why Liam would ask that, but why would Niall complain that he wasn't good at anything and then not go to classes, it seemed a bit weird to Liam, like, he was just trying to give good advice, nothing else. "Yeah, true… maybe I'll just go to your classes with you."

And then he randomly chuckled, bumping his elbow into a very stunned looking Liam's ribcage before falling into a slow jog, showing off his sweaty back, the shirt sticking to his skin, and Liam wished he wouldn't have stared for as long as he did before finally running after the boy.

They didn't talk much on their way back, mostly because they couldn't really when they were running of course, plus now that Niall was here, Liam didn't want to sound like he was out of breath or anything, so of course, he suddenly had a hard time not breathing too heavily.

When they got to the dorms, Niall immediately seemed to have it all planned out, telling Liam he'd meet him at his room once he was done showering and then he laughed, saying something like "I could as well go shower in the bathroom on your floor", which he luckily didn't do in the end, leaving Liam a few minutes to himself at least under the shower to question his whole entire life. Why was it always him really, like, what had he done to deserve any of this?!

There wasn't enough time under the shower for Liam to really think this through or find an excuse, he couldn't even text Louis or Zayn or Harry because they probably were still asleep or had classes, so he had no choice but to give in to what Niall had suggested, not even knowing how both him and the blonde boy ended up in his room just 10 minutes after his quiet breakdown in the shower. 

"Hey, Liam, can I ask you for a favor?" Liam wasn't even properly dressed yet, he had forgotten his shirt in his room so he had had to go back from the showers in just his jeans, luckily barely anyone had really been awake at that time so no one had seen him walking around in the hallways like that. Well, all but Niall, who had taken about half the time to take a shower himself, immediately having came up to Liam's room to wait for him there in comfy looking clothes and flat hair. How could he go from so … attractive to also cuddly?!

"Um, sure." Currently searching for a shirt because Liam felt rather weird under Niall's stare, he wasn't quite sure if he should've agreed to this, he didn't even know what the blonde was doing on his bed behind his back, this whole situation was… more than questionable. And it was only half past 8 in the morning. 

"You know, after I hurt my leg I thought I should get something to put on it, like some healing creme stuff, and apparently it's supposed to make it heal faster, but I'm kinda scared to… put it on myself because it might hurt and I thought maybe you could do it for me… because when you helped me that night you also didn't hurt me at all and… I don't know who else to ask." Of course Liam almost froze while putting on his shirt, he literally had to force himself to fully dress himself, not saying anything as he took ages to finally turn back around to face the boy, hoping that his facial expression was somewhat under control. 

Was Niall doing this on purpose? Pulling these faces and pretending to not be as confident and loud as he usually was? Did he know that exactly these things were what was making it so hard for Liam and had him believing the other boy was not actually only trying to be friends with everyone he met? Probably, but that still didn't stop this weird feeling to grow in Liam's chest, pushing Louis' words into the back of his head. "If you want me to."

"I do." Niall seemed really hopeful now, he flashed a smile at Liam, a really soft one that had Liam's legs going a bit limb as he slowly walked over, sitting on his bed beside Niall and waiting as the boy pulled his sweatpants up. Apparently he was planning on wearing these to get breakfast and Liam wasn't gonna lie, he was kinda worried whether the boy was even having on boxer shorts underneath. 

He still had the bandaids on from before, Liam watched as Niall slowly pulled them off, checking his face once as he did so to see it go a bit whiter than usual, he still couldn't see blood obviously, even if the wound looked a whole lot better now, once Niall had the bandaids off, a few places started bleeding again. "Okay… you have the salve too? And new bandaids?"

"Yeah, wait." Niall got them out from his pockets, handing them over to Liam before looking at him, obviously waiting for the older boy to do something, but… they needed to get into another position for this or…

"Alright, just, um… put your leg over my lap." Not really sure whether Niall had even heard because he had been trying to get the last part out really fast, Liam felt his heart bumping a bit faster as the blonde boy moved before almost causing it to jump out of Liam's chest as Niall did how he had been told. This was not weird at all, no.

"That okay?" No, not at all, Liam couldn't do anything but look down at the wound on Niall's leg right on his lap as he opened the salve with kinda shaking hands, feeling the boy's leg pressing down onto his, why exactly had he even suggested that?!

"Yeah… I'll try to be careful, yeah?" Wouldn't be too easy if he didn't get his hands to stop trembling.

"It's fine, Liam, I trust you." Did he really? It had came out quite honest sounding, but Liam didn't want to check or even think about it honestly, he just wanted to take care of Niall's leg, go have breakfast with the boy and then hopefully having come up with some excuse as to why he really needed to leave earlier. Why was Niall making it so hard for Liam to not like him?

This time, Niall luckily wasn't dead on staring at Liam's face anymore, he was actually watching as the older boy carefully applied the white salve on his wound, not even flinching once, hopefully he wasn't hurting because Liam was trying really hard to be gentle and careful, silently wondering whether he'd also agree to do the same for Louis or Zayn, like, put his fingers right into their wounds. Maybe it was worrying that he was pretty grossed out at just the thought.

When he was done and had put new bandaids on for Niall too, because why not, the younger boy thanked him with a really bright smile on his face before jumping up as if he had never gotten hurt in any way. "Let's go, I'm starving actually, I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday."

"Oh, why not?" Liam went to wash his hands in the least awkward way possible before grabbing his bag, just in case, feeling a bit weird at seeing Niall waiting by his door like an excited golden retriever. That actually was a good comparison, except for the fact that Liam had to worry a bit when it came to Niall's reasons behind whatever he did, he might actually see Liam as a friend or maybe it was just because it was convenient, and he would've behaved the exact same way had he met anyone else at the park. The answer was pretty clear to be honest.

"Well, I met with some friends afterwards and then we went for a drink and I kinda… kinda was really busy the whole night." Too much information.

"Oh." Was all Liam brought out, quickly clearing his throat as he grabbed his keys to let both of them out into the hallway, not being able to help himself but think about if Niall really did mean what he thought he did. Judging by the look on his face, he definitely did, now Liam felt awkward, but for some reason he also felt something else, like… not anger, but why had Niall felt the need to tell him that? Liam couldn't care less about who or when the blonde boy hooked up with someone.

It wasn't very surprising that Niall took the direction to the same coffee place they had gone to last time, hopefully this wasn't gonna become a thing because Liam wasn't gonna survive it, he knew he should have tried to spend as little time with Niall as possible, actually, he was quite embarrassed to be walking next to him now, he wasn't even sure if he'd bring himself to tell any of his friends about this.

Somehow it went exactly like last time, Niall would talk and talk and talk, but he asked Liam more questions now, completely irrelevant ones like "How's your week been?" and "Have you already gotten used to being here?", and the best "You're coming to Harry's party too, right?", not that that weren't nice questions, but… why'd he care?

After Niall had suggested Liam should get the same things to eat he had gotten, the older boy just went with it, he didn't have the strength to really say no or try to find something else, besides, it seemed to make Niall ridiculously happy and as much as he hated it, that caused his stomach to flip slightly. 

"So, how's your project coming along? You need any help from me still or so? I could also help with something else if you want." What else could Liam need help with from Niall though? Was he crazy?

"It's… it's coming along fine, I guess, I mean I don't know, this is not really my thing I suppose, I hope it'll turn out alright… but thank you, I… I'm gonna think about it." He wouldn't. Liam would have to have this done in like, two weeks or something, he still barely had anything, though he knew a lot about Niall already, too much actually, the only reason why he didn't wanna work on it was because he didn't want to let his strange feelings towards the boy to influence him. Or be forced to think about Niall even more because of this.

"Alright, just let me know, yeah?" He was talking in between bites, very obviously enjoying his breakfast while Liam had a hard time doing so, he kinda wanted to just watch Niall instead, and he didn't even know why because the boy eating really wasn't that much of a nice sight. But for some reason it was like everything Niall did was somehow from interest to Liam and he hated that, he didn't want to be curious about him or think he was funny and nice, he wished he could've hated this boy, truly. "You never answered my question from before, you know."

"What question?" Out of the ten million he had asked, Liam stared onto his plate, forcing himself to eat some of his pancakes just to have something to do, he felt pretty stuffed up already though.

"About whether you already like it here or not. I can imagine it doesn't feel so good to come here during the semester and all, like… do you miss your friends and stuff?" Yeah, that would mean he had had any.

"Not really, I… actually I…" Hesitating, Liam decided that it didn't matter, he didn't have to impress Niall though he constantly felt the urge to do it, but it's not like anything would change if he was just being honest. "I just miss home a bit, that's all…"

For a second or two Niall didn't say anything at all and Liam already thought the boy hadn't been listening and he regretted having confessed his slight homesickness, not daring to look up anymore. That's why he was even more surprised when the blonde boy's hand dropped on top of his, immediately causing his head to jerk up in shock, eyes going wide at the sight of the soft smile on the boy's lips. Um… "I'm sure it'll get better after a while. Everyone gets a bit homesick sometimes, right?"

"Do you?" Liam blurted out, he felt kinda weak now, not even having the strength to pull his hand out from underneath Niall's rough palm, feeling blood streaming into his face as he kept the eye contact, somehow not able to turn his head away. See, that was the problem, Niall could be so honestly sweet it was scary as shit.

"Not really, but lots of people do, I guess? I mean it can be hard, right? And you just came here as well so I can imagine it's even worse." See? And he couldn't even know how Liam felt really because he had just confessed that he didn't get homesick as well, but for some reason it was really calming to have Niall talking like this to Liam, his warm hand still on top of the older boy's, like, why would he enjoy this, this was weird as fuck.

"Yeah, I… I'm okay though, it's fine." His throat had gotten a bit tight, Liam didn't know whether he was relieved or sad when Niall put up that crooked smile of his and pulled his arm back to continue eating, hopefully not noticing how Liam kept staring at him like a creeper.

"Well, if you ever feel lonely and your friends don't have any time or something else happens, then you can just text me, okay? Like, I'm busy maybe, but I'd definitely make some time for you, Li, I mean, we're friends now, right? Good friends." This would've been the perfect moment to confront him, actually, Liam already had his mouth half open to ask, he already had the perfect question in his head as well but then he stared into those blue eyes for a second too long and that smile kinda caused his brain to turn to jelly within half a second. 

"I… yeah." Were they though? Judging by Niall's happy face and everything that had happened so far, it might have actually seemed like it, but of course that still left a lot of questions open that Liam had no idea how to answer. 

Most of all though, he really wanted to know why exactly he was so obsessed with Niall that he agreed without thinking later as the blonde boy asked again to go to Liam's remaining classes with him instead of his own, for serious this time. And then afterwards, Liam also would've liked to stop enjoying it so overly much that he almost missed Niall once he was back alone in his room. Liam really was so screwed, wasn't he.

 

—————

 

"So, I heard some things." This was never a very calming sentence to hear from anyone really, but it was even worse when it came from Zayn because he usually wouldn't say things like that if it wasn't serious. 

"What… things?" Liam asked carefully, hoping to keep his facial expression because he didn't necessarily want to give himself away in case this was just something totally random. But seeing as it was coming from Zayn… it probably wasn't.

They were walking to Harry's house from the bus station together, it was already quite dark outside and Liam was glad he had worn a jacket because it was slightly cold as well. Louis was already at Harry's house, like he had been all the time during the last week actually, not that Liam had noticed too much because he had maybe hung out with someone else a little bit too much.

After he had gone having breakfast with Niall on sunday and the boy had distracted and made him laugh during all of his classes, Liam hadn't really expected to hear from the boy anytime soon during the next few days. Just like it always went, right? 

To his surprise though, Niall had randomly texted him on tuesday, asking him to come down to his room because Louis hadn't been there and apparently the younger boy had been bored. Liam had tried to stay strong, he really had, he had even found an excuse, saying he needed to do homework, to which Niall had just responded that it would be such a great idea if they did it together.

So that's what had happened, and Liam had even helped Niall with his own homework because the younger boy really wasn't that good, like he always made sure to pronounce as well. They had hung out a little bit in Niall's room afterwards, just talking, until Liam had eventually started to panic inside and made up a reason as to why he had to leave after about 3 full hours.

So then on thursday, he had bumped into Niall yet again and the younger boy had randomly started to talk about the most irrelevant stuff with Liam before suddenly asking him to come to the cafeteria with him because he wanted something to drink, nothing else. Needless to say, they had ended up hanging out there as well and Niall had even introduced Liam to some of his friends.

The strangest thing though had happened just a few hours before, as if Liam didn't already have trouble sleeping at night, no, just when he had come out of one of his classes, not really paying attention, someone had just come out of nowhere to wrap him up in a sudden hug. When Liam had pulled away with a very confused face to see Niall's smile right in front of him and heard him say something like "I remembered that your class ends now, I just had in the room next door" he really hadn't been able to think about anything else for the rest of his classes.

So hopefully, Zayn hadn't heard or seen anything regarding any of these things. 

"Nothing really, just… you and Niall." Then Zayn made same gesture with his hand that almost caused Liam's world to come crushing down if he hadn't shrugged right afterwards, as if it wasn't a big deal at all. So much about hopefully no one had noticed or found out.

"We're friends." They were, right? Isn't that what everyone had wanted Liam to do? Become friends with the blonde boy?! And now he had and they were all acting strange, this was his own problem anyways, none of his friend's matter, THEY had introduced them after all. "Why's that a problem?"

"It's not, just… I was a bit surprised. Heard you and him are hanging out quite a bit and all, like, you kinda didn't even want to go to his game." True, it reminded Liam yet again what Louis had said, and what Zayn had said before that which had turned out to be a lie, not that Liam was gonna bring up any of this now, he had decided not to think about it anymore. Obviously it wasn't possible for him to keep away from Niall and like… maybe the others were wrong, maybe Niall was more than just a guy wanting to have fun, right? Liam was maybe clinging a bit too desperately onto that tiny string of hope.

"I changed my mind. You guys wanted us to get long, didn't you? And now we are, why's everyone always talking about?" Slowly but surely, Liam was getting slightly angry, not because Zayn had asked but because he was really tired of this, like, there really hadn't been any other topic besides Niall ever since he had gotten here. 

"We're not, I was just asking, no need to get mad, Li." Maybe Liam's little outbreak was making it even more obvious that this was getting to him, but he refused to look over at Zayn, he just wanted to not worry for a few hours. Which would be hard at a party where of course Niall would be as well, and a lot of girls from uni. "So you like him, yeah? As a person, I mean."

"I… I guess I do, yeah." Admitting it was kinda hard, Liam pulled his sleeves over his fingers, glad for the darkness because hopefully now Zayn wouldn't be able to tell that he had blushed slightly, having thought for a second that Zayn had meant _like_ like. "Don't you?"

"Sure, he's funny and he's nice, everyone likes him." True, that was something Liam was more than just aware of, he shrugged a bit though the other boy could probably not see it. They were like a few houses away from Harry's now and with every step being taken, Liam kinda started to get a bit more nervous. "He's coming too, right?"

"Probably." Liam knew that Niall would come, 100%, because they had talked about it, he just didn't necessarily feel like admitting that right now.

"Wouldn't miss out on a party that boy. Just don't let him get you too drunk." Well, that hadn't been very nice, Liam felt like defending Niall, which he couldn't and also wouldn't do, but still, it seemed wrong to reduce him to just wanting to get into everyone's pants. Not that he would wanna get into Liam's, he was a boy after all, but Zayn's tone of voice had almost sounded like he was suggesting that.

Maybe that's why his answer sounded a bit too harsh. "I can decide for myself how drunk I get, no worries. And I doubt he's gonna try to get me wasted to be honest."

"That's not what I meant, Li, but anyways, he's probably gonna get really shit faced, just so you know." Why would he say that? Now?

"So? That's not my problem, is it? He can do whatever the fuck he wants, has nothing to do with me." God, could they just drop it? Liam actually fastened his steps so they would be there faster, he was so definitely gonna drink tonight, though he knew it would be a dumb thing to do because of something like this but his life had been a mess lately, he just didn't wanna think about it for a while and Zayn saying all these things was kinda making him want to do it even more.

"Relax, Liam, I'm not trying to make you angry, I'm your best friend, remember? Just don't want you to get yourself into anything, that's all." Before Liam could throw in that he didn't need Zayn nor Louis to constantly patronize him, the other boy had already wrapped an arm around his shoulders, squeezing a bit and Liam could see the flash of a smile on his face as they walked past a streetlight. "Let's just have some fun, okay?"

Easier said than done.

They were late, of course, because neither Liam nor Zayn had actually known a time as to when they were supposed to show up, Harry had simply said "Like 8 or 9 or whatever", but since no one really wanted to be the first one or catch him and Louis doing anything, they had taken their time and then missed like 2 busses, so now it was about 9:30 and the front door was of course unlocked, music barely audible between all the voices, someone was throwing up in the bushes next to the house. Yeah, that definitely looked like a uni party.

"So… how often does Harry do this?" Liam tried not to stare too much at the guy puking his guts out as they walked up the front porch, his stomach turning slightly.

"Sometimes, but seems like the whole place is out of control this time." Zayn sighed, but then he shrugged, apparently not caring about anyone else here, he seemed to know where exactly he and Liam were supposed to go. "Come on, I know where the others are."

The house was unrecognizable with all these people here that Liam had never seen in his whole entire life, also, it seemed like Harry had taken off a few pictures off the wall as well as put away other easily breakable looking stuff, very smart of him, maybe even the walls would still be there tomorrow. For some reason though, Liam wouldn't be surprised if they weren't. "I'm not so sure about this anymore…"

"Yeah, I wouldn't be either if I had to stay down here, the others are upstairs in Harry's room." Oh. And who exactly were the _others_ apart from obviously Harry and Louis?

"What's the point in throwing a party when we're not gonna participate?" Seemed a bit illogical to Liam, not that he was mad when they walked up the stairs, he really would've preferred if Harry had not simply posted the place and time of the party online and asked people individually instead. And like, 60 less of them.

"It's fun. Besides, we're gonna go downstairs later anyways, but it's nicer to start up here when you don't have to be scared that someone might puke all over your lap or slur something in your ear." Right, that sounded pretty smart, Liam pressed his lips together to swallow the question he had been about to ask, deciding that he was gonna wait and see, besides, he didn't necessarily want to half yell around like Zayn just had.

There were a few people upstairs, but only very few, snogging in the hallway or something, Zayn completely ignored them and walked past down to Harry's room while Liam let himself fall behind slightly, not really knowing what to expect as they walked around the corner.

"Zayn! You're fucking late, man, where's Liam? Did he pull out?" Louis' voice didn't sound too happy with that possibility, he was the first one Liam saw as he entered the room after his friend, immediately causing Louis to cheer up, his grin a bit larger than usually, he had definitely been drinking. "There you are! Wasn't sure anymore if you'd come, remember in school when-"

"Yeah, Lou, we don't need to talk about that now, okay?" Zayn cut him off to Liam's relief, he was scanning the room now, Harry was on the bed, looking a bit sleepy actually but definitely not as hyper as Louis, who was just laughing like a maniac now. There were other people too who Liam might have been introduced to but forgotten about again, they were mostly sitting on the floor, drinking beer or whatever else was in their cups and not taking any notice of him or Zayn, nothing extraordinary really.

Well, that was until Liam's eyes fell onto the open door to Harry's balcony where a certain blonde was standing and having a blast with his friends obviously, he turned around then, probably because Louis' giggle fit had still not finished even after Harry had come over to calm him down, his blue eyes right about meeting Liam's. 

It was just like in a movie honestly, Liam regretted coming all of a sudden, but for some reason, his heart faltered as Niall said something to one of his friends, handing his cup to them before slowly making his way inside, a hug grin plastered across his slightly flushed face as he opened his arms way too soon. And not for Zayn.

"Hey Leemo!" In fact, he completely ignored anyone that wasn't Liam, he just made a beeline for the brunette boy still standing by the door and not knowing how to act, Niall's arms wrapping around his neck as if they hadn't seen each other for years. "Wasn't sure if you'd even show up anymore, I was about to text you."

"Yeah, I… well, 'm here now, so…" Obviously. Liam hugged back automatically, he could tell Niall was at least a little bit drunk, he smelled like alcohol and smoke, but also still like himself, for which Liam felt really bad because he didn't want to know Niall's cologne as well as he did.

"I can see that, Li." He chuckled right into Liam's ear, causing goosebumps to rise all over his body, as if the weird feeling in his stomach hadn't been enough to be embarrassed as hell. God, hopefully none of the others were gonna comment on this, especially Louis. 

"You're gonna choke him, Ni." Right, Zayn had obviously been watching, the look on his face was quite weird as his and Liam's eyes met for a second once the blonde boy had pulled away, laughing, quickly going to give Zayn a half hug. Nothing more, just that, he had just been clinging to Liam for a whole minute almost and Zayn barely got any attention at all. What was Liam supposed to make of this?

"Jealous?" Niall teased, easily moving before Zayn was able to poke his side, he was in such a happy mood today, Liam didn't know whether to find it amusing or worrying since it obviously had something to do with whatever had been in his cup before.

"Not really." By now, Harry had coaxed Louis into going to lie back down on the bed with him, they looked 50 seconds from starting to snog so Liam decided to focus on his other friends instead, not on Zayn though because he always threw these really weird glances at Liam, even more when Niall simply wrapped his arm back around Liam's shoulders, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. 

"Come on, I'll get you guys something to drink, Harry seems a bit… busy at the moment." Apparently this was more than hilarious as well, Liam laughed a bit, just to not be rude, immediately causing Niall's face to brighten up even more, if that was any possible.

He led them out on the balcony, giving them a very nice sight of the garden where tons of people were as well, his arms never slipping from around Liam though, completely ignoring his other friends. Who, by the way, were greeting Liam all friendly, which was really weird actually, Liam hadn't expected them to remember his name for more than five seconds after Niall had introduced them in the cafeteria. But they had, and it seemed to get Zayn even more interested in staring at Liam's face. God, was he gonna do this all night?

"Okay, so, Harry brought the expensive stuff up here, I can make you something if you want, I'm very talented at that, I could actually be a barkeeper." Liam let out an involuntary laugh, immediately having Niall join, seemingly proud of having said something funny. "It's true, Payno, I'll proof it to you. You want something too, Z?"

"I think I'll pass, Nialler, thanks, I''m gonna stick to beer." A wise decision, and one that Liam should've probably followed also, but he couldn't do it now anymore, could he? Not when Niall seemed so excited about mixing a drink for him. 

"Boring." Was all Niall said, shrugging before squeezing Liam's shoulders completely randomly as he let his arm slip, really slowly, his palm gliding down Liam's back before he fully pulled away, hopefully not noticing the flush in Liam's face. But Zayn certainly had.

In fact, the dark haired boy threw a very intense look at Liam while Niall was busy pouring things into a cup, babbling the whole time about it too while Liam only listened with one ear. He knew what Zayn was trying to tell him, he knew it yet he just shrugged, catching himself wishing his friend would leave them alone, he wanted Niall's attention. All to himself.

"Here you go, Liam, you can trust me, it's really good. And I know my food and drink choices, right? Already proven that a couple times." True, but Liam would have believed him anyways to be honest, he allowed himself to smile a bit as he thanked Niall before taking the cup and immediately taking a sip, not being able to keep his face from scrunching up a bit, causing Niall to laugh loudly, his arm somehow finding it's way back to his prior place around Liam's shoulders. Good. "Aww, you'll get used to it, Li, no worries."

"It's not bad, just… " Yeah, nothing really, Liam shrugged a bit, relieved that he hadn't made Niall mad or anything, he couldn't help it that he wasn't too used to drinking.

"Well, I don't know if it's a good idea to get used to the strongest things all mixed together into one cup." Zayn tried to be subtle about it apparently, opening a bottle of beer, as if he hadn't just been obviously watching Niall a bit too closely about what he had put in that drink.

"Not my fault the best things are the strongest. 'sides, I gave him a small cup and not a jar, so." Okay, this was getting slightly weird, Liam couldn't tell whether Niall was aware of what Zayn was accusing him of because the boy was still smily and happy, but he also didn't really want to get involved or anything, and now that he had agreed to drinking this, he kinda had too, right?

Zayn stayed with them for a while, which was slightly weird because Liam could tell that his friend was only staying because of what he had been trying to tell Liam while walking here. Maybe it was the alcohol or Niall's arm around him or even just the boy's presence, but it made Liam slightly angry, why did Zayn feel the need to keep on talking to them, couldn't he just go inside and bother someone else, Liam could fucking take care of himself!

Luckily for him, someone from inside called Zayn all of a sudden, the dark haired boy didn't look too happy about that, but he still yelled back that he'd be there in a second, again studying both Niall's and Liam's faces for another second before settling on the latter's as he spoke. "Be careful… you two."

"Don't worry, I'm watching out for him." Yeah, and that seemed to be the exact reason why Zayn had even said that, he nodded though before disappearing inside, leaving them on the balcony with three of Niall's friends who weren't paying any attention to them though, they were smoking in the other corner. "Thought he was gonna stay the whole time to baby you."

"What do you mean?" Liam decided to play dumb, he really wanted to hear Niall's version of this but the boy just shrugged, still smiling as Liam looked over, taking another sip and managing to not look disgusted this time. 

"I don't know, it was kinda weird though, wasn't it? Like, I'm not trying to get you drunk, you know that, right?" Well, since Niall wasn't exactly forcing Liam to drink anything the older boy just nodded, being rewarded by yet another smile blinding as the sun. "Good. I wanna show you something."

"What?" Alright, that was a bit uncalled for maybe, but Niall let his arm slip once more before suddenly grabbing one of the half full bottles, not answering the question. "Niall?"

"Come on, and don't tell anyone if they ask." Okay, now this was rather weird, but it never occurred to Liam that maybe he shouldn't have immediately agreed just to make Niall smile once again, it was like he was addicted to doing that, it was just such a nice, warm feeling to have the boy's approval and Liam didn't even know why.

They walked back inside, which was kinda weird because the others were in there of course, Niall introduced Liam to someone else all of a sudden, which was slightly random seeing as he had just told him he wanted to show him something.

But they only small talked for like five minutes, and if Liam hadn't been paying attention, he wouldn't have noticed that Niall had just been trying to appear unsuspicious, he actually had only been talking to these people long enough as it took for Zayn to be distracted at the other side of the room. That's when he was suddenly in a hurry to end the conversation, grabbing Liam's wrist and pulling him out the door. 

Obviously, he could notice Liam's confused stared as they walked down the hallway, the older boy's skin still burning even if Niall had long let go of him. "He'd just tell us it's too dangerous, but I feel like it's unfair if everyone experiences it except for you."

"Experiences what?" Why was he being so secretive, and most of all… why had he taken half a bottle with him?

"You'll see, come on." Niall winked at him, causing Liam's mind to go a bit dizzy but he blamed it on the alcohol.

For some reason they went for the very last door, Niall apparently knew this house as well as if it had been his own, just stepping inside the room, gesturing for Liam to follow him when he hesitated. "Is that Harry's parents' bedroom?"

"No, it's the guest room. It's fine, Liam, trust me, Harry wouldn't mind if he knew, come on, I've been here loads with him." His smile was too inviting as to question it, somewhere deep down Liam might have been aware that he was doing everything his friends had told him not to do, but he ignored it, honestly so happy about the fact that Niall wanted to be alone with him with all his other friends there that he felt like laughing. He was maybe a little bit drunk already. "Alright, just go with it, yeah? I promise it'll be worth it, you'll see."

Niall closed the door behind them again before going for the glass door that led out on the balcony, on the other side of the house though which meant no would be able to see them out there, especially since it was really dark outside as well.

Before Liam could question any of this even more, Niall chuckled, maybe at the older boy's confused face, before suddenly handing the bottle over to him, attempting to climb on the railing, using one hand to keep his balance against the wall and Liam's eyes almost popped out of his head as he realized what the boy was about to make him do.

"Niall! That's really fucking dangerous, what are you-"

"Relax, Liam, we've done this hundreds of times, the roof is really flat, you can easily be on there and the view is amazing." Though the alcohol consume had been quite obvious in Niall's voice before, he seemed completely fine and in control of his body now as he seriously climbed on the roof, still almost giving Liam a hear attack at the thought of him falling down. "Okay, give me the bottle and then come up here too… but better hold my hand, you look a bit tipsy."

"I'm not at all." Liam protested immediately, making the blonde laugh as he got down onto his knees, stretching his arm out towards Liam once more after placing the bottle next to him on the roof. 

"You've never been up here anyways, I'll help you, come on." How could Liam have said no honestly? He didn't feel very comfortable doing this to begin with so he slowly reached out for Niall's hand after abandoning his empty cup, trying to ignore the tingles he felt from the tight grip Niall immediately had around him, as if he planned on never letting go again. Not that Liam would've minded that. "If you fall down there Zayn is probably gonna kill me, so hold on tight, yeah?"

"So you wouldn't feel bad if it weren't for Zayn?" See, that was why Liam shouldn't drink any alcohol at all, he clearly wasn't used to it.

"No, I'd actually feel really sad too because then no one would ever go to the coffee place with me again… just step up, yeah… be careful…" Liam's heart was flattering a bit at hearing Niall's voice going a bit worried, like, maybe he should've payed more attention instead probably, but the younger boy was holding his hand so tightly, Liam was quite sure he couldn't have fallen even if he hadn't been trying anymore. "There you go, come over here, the view is really nice."

Niall had been right, this really was a cool place to be, the roof was flat enough for them to walk rather normally, though Liam felt slightly dizzy, he smiled over at Niall, the boy was standing pretty close to him, probably for safety purposes, but he smiled back twice as bright, petting Liam's back once, his hand lingering for a bit too long. "You were right."

"Aren't I always?" Winking cheekily, Niall threw another look over the lights and houses they could see from up here before attempting to sit down, pulling a bit on Liam's elbow to get him to do the same. Was it normal that Liam's skin always felt on fire whenever the younger boy did as much as brush him accidentally? "Sit down, I think maybe I shouldn't have made you that drink."

"Why? I'm perfectly fine." Feeling slightly over confident, Liam sat a bit foo close to Niall, hearing the boy chuckle in amusement as he grabbed the bottle again, their arms almost brushing with every movement. "Thanks for taking me up here."

"No problem, mate, just figured since you've never been to one of Harry's parties you shouldn't miss out on anything just because no one goes up here anymore after this one guy almost fell off. But don't panic, he was just really shitfaced and there were like 50 other people up here, if it's just us then we can watch out for each other right?" Yeah, that sounded very smart to Liam, he didn't even hesitate as Niall handed the bottle over to him after taking a sip himself, his skin was beautifully flushed and his hair seemed to look kind of golden in the poor light, why was he so gorgeous? It wasn't fair at all, Liam couldn't forget who he was sitting here with for just one single second, Niall's skin was like, reflecting warmth or something, and he had either bathed in his cologne today or Liam was going crazy because he could smell him as well and it wasn't at all unpleasant. "How's your day been going?"

"Good, I guess… yours?" Funny because they had seen each other today, only for a bit though, but the fact that Liam had already gotten 2 hugs today made it impossible for this day to be anything but great really.

"Mine too, I was really excited for tonight, I love going to parties." Obviously. They passed the bottle between them once more, maybe Liam should've checked the etiquette or something, he didn't really know how much he could take as he wasn't drinking regularly, just sometimes. Now it would've been nice if Zayn had been here because he and Louis knew how much Liam could drink, but he didn't really think about any of that right now, he was busy staring at Niall now that he wasn't feeling embarrassed about it for once, certainly not trying to hide it either. "Why're you looking at me?"

"I don't know…" Shrugging, Liam got chills as Niall laughed once more, louder this time, he was obviously starting to feel the alcohol as well, like, he surely hadn't been sober to begin with since Liam had arrived so it wasn't too surprising. "You look nice today."

"Think you had a bit too much to drink, Payno." Luckily he didn't take it seriously at all, his face brightened up incredibly much though as he threw his arm back around Liam's shoulders, squeezing him a bit too tight. "I'm gonna take it as a complement though, we all know drunks say the truth, right?"

"I am saying the truth." He really was, he just wouldn't have said it out loud though had it not been for the sake of the alcohol. Then again though, why stop here, right, if Liam could embarrass himself even more. "Or maybe I'm not, because you look nice every day and not just today."

This time, Niall's smile faltered a bit, he seemed to be studying Liam's face for a second before obviously deciding to go with it, not moving away as the older boy leaned a bit more into him, mostly for supporting purposes, sitting up straight was getting slightly tiring. "Thanks, Leemo, you too. You know… I'm really glad you switched uni."

"Why?" Niall's smile was really soft now, his pupils were maybe a bit too wide but Liam could barely concentrate on such a small detail for too long, he was aware that their faces were really close because he felt Niall's breath hitting his skin and there were butterflies in his stomach all of a sudden.

"Because I like you a lot, and I think we really get along and I like that we can hang out anywhere and it never gets boring. That's something." He shrugged a bit, drinking some more from the bottle before offering it to Liam once again, unfortunately letting his arm slip as he lied onto his back, staring up at the sky. "Look."

The absence of the boy's warmth next to him had Liam drinking a bit too fast and too much just so he could lie down as well, his head right next to Niall's and their arms now full on brushing, neither of them pulling away though as they stared up at the sky. If they hadn't both been drunk then this would've been pretty darn romantic actually. "It's pretty."

"Yeah… do you like me, Liam?" Hadn't Liam's head felt so dizzy and if he hadn't suddenly been thinking about randomly grabbing Niall's hand in his just because he felt like it, maybe he would've considered this question for a moment longer before bursting out with an answer.

"Yeah." Of course he liked Niall, he liked him more than he should have, he knew it was wrong but it seemed pointless to fight all of a sudden, Liam was really tired of denying it, even in front of himself and not only his friends, right now he just wanted to say it out loud. "I like you a lot. Do you… do you like me too?"

There was no answer for a few seconds, Liam almost asked again, like, he wasn't sure anymore whether he had even spoken because his words had come out so heavy, but then he felt Niall moving next to him, automatically turning his head to check what he was doing, finding himself looking right into the other boy's eyes. 

They just stared at each other for a while, and Liam completely lost his mind, he couldn't stop his eyes from flickering down to Niall's pink lips, almost about to lean forward and press his on top, just to try it, just because Niall looked so gorgeous and Liam really wanted to know what it'd feel like, he hadn't really thought about kissing Niall before but now it seemed to be everything his mind revolved around. "Liam…"

"Yes?" Liam whispered back because Niall's voice had been pretty quiet as well, it was hard concentrating though, half of Liam wanted to make this tiny distance between them disappear, the other half wanted to actually listen to what Niall was about to say, but he couldn't really do either because his head was slightly spinning.

"Kiss me." He said it just like that, it hadn't been a question nor an offer, Niall was actually dead on staring into Liam's eyes as the older boy's mouth dropped a little bit, no sound coming out though because… had Niall just really said that? "If you want to, I mean."

"I…" Right, the alcohol wasn't helping to think clear right now, Liam wasn't even sure anymore whether this had really happened, like, it seemed to be too good to be true, didn't it? Niall hadn't answered his question, but wasn't that answer enough? He wanted Liam to kiss him, right? He had just asked him to do it, this had really happened.

"Go on." A flicker of a smile crossed Niall's face as he properly lied down on his back again, head tilted upwards again as he let his eyes fall closed, not doing anything while Liam just stared like a fucking idiot, his heart bumping in his chest as he thought about actually doing it. 

There was something he knew he should've remembered right now, something Louis might have told him, or Zayn, something he had become witness of too many times, something about Niall and too many girls, but no matter how hard Liam tried to think about it, in reality he just propped himself up on his elbow slowly, staring down at the blonde boy's face, trying to make sense of what was happening, but the half empty bottle next to him wasn't really allowing that.

It took Liam maybe three or two seconds of watching Niall's face and his still closed eyes before he leaned down, breathing out before fully erasing the last centimeter, feeling the warmth of Niall's skin, their lips almost ghosting over one another. And then Liam finally had enough and he kissed the boy on the mouth, as gently as he could bring himself to be in a situation like this.

Niall reacted immediately, he really seemed to want this, he kissed back without hesitation, letting a sigh escape as Liam pressed down harder, the butterflies in his stomach doing gymnastics at the feeling of Niall's soft lips moving against his. 

It wasn't a deep kiss or anything, it was actually very gentle and slow but nevertheless wonderful, Liam didn't even know what was going on, he just wanted to touch Niall everywhere all of a sudden, wanted to cup his face, brush his fingers over the boy's cheek and through his hair to see if it really was as soft as it looked like all the time, let his hand slip underneath his shirt to feel his smooth skin under his palm, he just wanted to have the boy as close as possible, touching him anywhere he could possibly reach reach.

But he didn't. Liam kept his hands where it was appropriate, simply kissing Niall like this, not even trying to deepen it or open his mouth, this alone was too good to be true, like, maybe Liam had fallen off the roof after all and hit his head really hard, it seemed more realistic than the fact that he was kissing Niall Horan.

As Liam pulled away just the tiniest bit to catch a bit of his breath, their noses brushed together and Niall let out another sigh, his breath hitting Liam's slightly wet lips as he mumbled, slurred more like. "What're you doing?"

"I… you asked me to k-"

"No, I mean… come back here, don't stop." There was no doubt that Niall was the driving force in this as it went on, before Liam could even react or decide how to feel about this, the blonde boy had wrapped both his arms around the older boy's neck, tilting his head a bit upwards to fit their lips back together, this time not wasting a minute but rather immediately parting his lips to slowly drag his tongue over Liam's bottom lip.

And that was it really, Liam relaxed his jaw with a suppressed moan, almost passing out when Niall's hot, wet tongue joined his, like, it was almost fucking ridiculous how fucking good this boy was at kissing, he was driving Liam completely nuts after only a few seconds of snogging, but it was so heated already that the older boy didn't even know whether he had ever really been kissed like this. Probably not.

Of course they were drunk as shit, but Liam never really forgot about that, their heated make out session on the rooftop of Harry's house, the way Niall's lips and tongue felt against his, how good they worked this out together, the perfect angle, the perfect way to move against one another as their spit slicked lips met again and again.

But most of all, Liam wouldn't forget how Niall had softly bitten into his lower lip before pulling away after what seemed like forever, chest heaving, fingers running through Liam's hair as he was panting against his mouth. "Liam… you wanna… take me back to…. your room?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i feel like i should address this right now.  
> i didn't actually want to update today after the news with zayn came out but i think maybe it'll distract some people so im still gonna do it even though i feel pretty heartless for it, idk.  
> im devastated and i hope its gonna be better tomorrow bc zayn obviously plays a role in my fics and its… weird to write about him now, i really hope the other boys will stay together for a long time bc its times like this that i realize how fucking important it is for me to have them in my life and write these fanfics, idk if this sounds dumb but im so terrified of them splitting and then not being able to write anymore. this is my hobby and my passion and though obviously niam are my faves, zayn leaving really hits me too. i never thought id have to think about all of this, the whole fandom, the fics especially, coming to an end, but i am now and its fucking terrifying.
> 
> still hope you guys will enjoy this chapter and ill update as soon as possible, i will definitely 100% finish this fic no matter what happens.

There were a few things Liam wasn't so sure about anymore afterwards, for example how exactly he and Niall had managed to get off the roof after emptying the bottle and while laughing like fucking idiots the whole time. And not break all their bones in the process, it actually seemed quite like a miracle to think about afterwards.

Then also, how fucking lucky they had been that no one had really seen or payed any attention to them as they left because Niall was holding his hand a bit too much and too tight the whole time after he had called for a taxi. By that time, Liam had been so shitfaced that he had thought it would be a great idea to drink some more downstairs and Niall joined, his laugh even brighter now, his hair somehow more blonde and shiny, it's like Liam had tunnel vision for him only, he couldn't really grasp a meaningful thought other than that he wanted to get his lips and hands back on the boy as soon as possible.

The taxi ride was something that was completely washed from Liam's mind, they might have passed out for a little bit, or maybe they had been snogging the whole time, who knows what other stuff had happened until they finally made it to Liam's room after what seemed like ages. It's a wonder he still even had his keys in his pockets to be honest, AND managed to hold them while Niall was glued to his side like he never planned on letting go again. 

"You're so fit, Liam…" Letting out a quiet moan that Liam could feel in his bones, Niall kinda pushed him against the closed door once they were inside, eagerly pressing his open lips against Liam's once more, his hands not shy anymore to slip underneath the older boy's shirt now that they were all alone. And free to do whatever the hell they wanted.

"I-" Liam had no time to respond, his head was pressing a bit too uncomfortably against the door but he barely noticed, all he knew was Niall licking hotly into his mouth, breathing out heavily against his skin while his rough palms swiped up and down Liam's bare side lovingly.

They snogged like this for a while, just leaning against the door, Niall all up in Liam's space, one of his legs in between the older boy's, as if they needed any more friction to turn them on. Hell, this was hot enough already, they were so drunk but Liam wanted Niall so badly right now it almost hurt, he cupped the boy's face in his hands to make sure he would keep kissing him like this, with his tongue doing that thing that had Liam seeing stars behind closed eyes.

He was still wearing a jacket, not complaining as Niall practically ripped it off of him in one quick movement, he was so good at this, he barely even had to interrupt their kiss for it, right back at it one second later, placing open mouth kisses on Liam's cheek now, then down to his jaw and neck while the older boy couldn't do anything but pant, trying to catch his breath a little bit, one hand twisted into Niall's hair. It was even softer than it always looked like.

"Niall…" No idea what or if Liam had even been wanting to say anything, it just felt so nice to sigh the boy's name while he was busy marking up Liam's neck, sucking gently on the skin before biting down a bit too tight, causing Liam's eyes to fly open as he moaned involuntarily. "Niall, can we…"

"Bed?" Was all Niall asked, mumbled more like against Liam's skin, he was still busy sucking a mark, leaving a wet spot as he pulled away to lift is head slowly, his hands playing with Liam's belt all of a sudden. "'m not gonna do anything you don't want, you know."

"I-I know… but I want to." Liam really did want to at this second, staring at Niall like this with his beautifully flushed cheeks and red, swollen lips, his messed up hair, still wearing that crooked smile that had Liam's knees going soft. He wanted this boy so bad, and the thought of Niall wanting him back was messing with Liam's head probably just as much as all the alcohol intake from before did. There was no Louis and no Zayn at this second, and no girls Niall had slept with and probably would sleep with in the future, just Niall looking like the most gorgeous angel Liam had ever seen.

"Okay… me too." Niall tilted his head up for another kiss, still toying with Liam's belt until he had it open, distracting the other boy enough by sucking and biting his lower lip that Liam didn't even notice Niall opening the button of his pants and pulling the zipper with one motion. He definitely had had too much practice. "Take your shirt off."

To be honest, there wasn't much point in Liam still having it on, Niall's hands had been rubbing all over his upper body, leaving his skin burning as if it were on fire, he actually couldn't wait to have every piece of clothing between them removed, especially Niall's.

As he threw his top somewhere on the ground, Niall stopped for a second to just stare at the older boy, both of them were still panting pretty badly, but they weren't touching right now, Liam almost let out a desperate whine, he didn't want to wait, didn't want a second to pass by where the other boy wasn't touching and kissing him. "You're so hot, Li… been thinking that the whole time, y'know… shit."

"Kiss me… please." Liam didn't care, somewhere his brain did register the younger boy's words, but he had nothing to answer, his mind was blurry and his eyes focused on nothing besides Niall's face as the younger boy smirked, coming closer so that their lips were almost brushing, his arms wrapping around Liam's neck. 

"I want you so bad." His mouth was touching Liam as he whispered, fingers softly pulling the hair in the back of Liam's neck, it had sounded so genuine, so honest, and of course Liam wasn't considering the alcohol right now, he just grabbed a tight hold of Niall's still covered hips, getting rid of that one centimeter between them. 

Whenever their tongues met it was like getting your first kiss all over again, of course Liam had kissed and had sex with someone else, but for some reason this was different, it surely went down a lot faster, but it also seemed to involve more feelings, no one had ever made Liam feel like this before when he had been intimidate with them, this was new and it was exciting.

They stumbled back to the bed without opening their eyes or interrupting the snog or letting go of each other in any way at all, to be honest, Liam barely even noticed anything going on besides the fact that he could taste Niall in his mouth and the press of his soft lips against his.

So it was a bit of a shock when Liam's legs hit the edge of the bed, he almost lost balance, causing Niall to giggle into his mouth, actually having to pull away just so he could laugh properly. Why was he so cute too, that wasn't fair. "Lie down, Li."

"Come with me then." Liam couldn't help but pout slightly when Niall made no attempts to get down as well, his hands slipping from around the older boy as Liam sat down on the mattress, regretting that he hadn't just pulled Niall with him. "Niiiall…"

"Don't be so impatient, Payno, just gotta get rid of this." Well, fair enough, Liam was barely wearing anything anymore now, in fact, he discarded his already low hanging jeans before lying down, just watching as Niall pulled his shirt off, revealing his pale chest, not shy to get rid of his socks and pants immediately afterwards. 

Hadn't Liam been so wasted, he would've been more than blushed at seeing how hard Niall was through his boxer shorts as the younger boy came climbing over him on the bed. But then again, Liam wasn't any better, it's not like he could control it and all these touches and the snogging had gotten him pretty worked up, not even talking about how bloody attractive Niall was, no wonder he felt so oversensitive. "That's better…"

"Thought so." Smirking, Niall stayed over Liam for a bit, his knees on either side of Liam, it would've looked quite obscene maybe if they had been sober and fully aware of what was going down here. Niall just stared once again, this time though, he used his hands, not touching Liam below the waistband of his boxers though but rather running his hands upwards, seemingly enjoying the sighs Liam let out involuntarily as Niall brushed his thumbs over his nipples, twisting slightly until the older boy groaned. "Can't believe we haven't done this sooner…"

It had came out like only a whisper almost, Liam barely registered it, he was just busy enjoying the heck out of these touches, automatically grabbing Niall's slim hips, his fingers digging into the soft flesh as the younger boy leaned further downwards, his hands leaving Liam's body to support himself with his hands on either side of the boy's head, almost lying down on top of him now. "I've never… had sex with a guy."

No idea why Liam thought of randomly blurting this out, it was true either way, but Niall just laughed it off anyways, shortly but softly pecking Liam's lips, grinding their clothed crotches together for some friction. Shit, Liam hadn't been prepared for this, sure, Niall's touches had felt like heaven before, but this was just on another level, he was actually scared now he'd come right into his boxers in just within 2 minutes as soon as things would start to get hotter. "'s fine… don't need to go all the way, I don't even have a condom here."

"Me neither…" What would Liam have used condoms for, he hadn't exactly planned on any of this to happen, maybe it was slightly weird that Niall hadn't brought condoms either, but that wasn't much of Liam's concern right now to be honest, he was much more focused on how Niall's bare chest felt like pressed against his own, the boy's weight on top of him as they kissed some more, not hesitating anymore to deepen it, they were too far gone to take this slowly. 

Liam couldn't believe he had access to all of this, rubbing his palms all over Niall's smooth back and shoulders, down his arms, cupping his face as their tongues were rubbing against one another and Niall was still doing these small rocks to create a bit friction, getting Liam embarrassingly wet with just these few movements. It's just, they were almost fucking naked here and Niall was rubbing their dicks together, of course Liam was getting fucking hard here. 

When the older boy got tired of waiting, he let his fingers play with the waistband of Niall's boxers a bit before slipping his hand underneath, getting chills as the younger boy groaned loudly into his mouth when Liam squeezed his bum a bit, too turned on as to hesitate before simply pulling the annoying piece of clothing down over the swell of his arse. No one could blame Liam, he was drunk and Niall was hot and he just really, really liked this boy. 

"God, Liam…" Niall pulled back just slightly, his lips still brushing against Liam's as he breathed out heavily, pecking his swollen mouth one more time before sitting back up on his knees to Liam's disappointment. Or maybe not because he immediately started pulling down his unneeded boxers completely, which was exactly when Liam thought he was gonna lose it finally, he was sweating already but seeing Niall fully without clothes was something different, he looked like his body had been carved by angels and he was so hard that Liam had no doubts that the boy was enjoying this just as much as he was. Fuck, they really should've done this earlier… why hadn't they? Liam couldn't even come up with one single reason that would speak against this right now.

Before Niall's hands were even there to help, Liam decided it'd be good to get rid of his own clothes as well, apparently though, he was doing it too slowly because Niall let out some annoyed sound before telling Liam's to slightly lift his hips, making him hiss as he exposed him to the cold air in one quick movement, throwing Liam's underwear onto the floor next to his. 

"Fuck, look at you… " Niall almost moaned out, he was right back at touching Liam, running his palms up his thighs, never touching where Liam desperately craved to be touched though, apparently having other plans as he leaned down, pressing a shaky kiss on the older boy's belly button. "Can't wait to see how you're gonna feel against me… god, I wish we could go all the way now…fuck, Liam."

Shit, the younger boy was too good at dirty talk too, plus combined with the hot, open mouthed kisses he placed all over Liam's stomach and chest had the older boy coming apart underneath him, his fingers twisted automatically into the blonde, slightly damp hair, wanting to pull Niall back up for another kiss but then his lips wrapped around one of Liam's nipples and honestly, maybe that was just as good.

Niall really did take his time, he may have been drunk but he knew exactly what to do and how to bring Liam close to the edge before they had even really started. When his lips were finally pressed against Liam's again, the older boy couldn't help but let out a sigh in relief, wrapping both his arms around Niall's neck to keep him close this time, not ever wanting this kiss to stop. Kinda hard when Niall started grinding their hips together again, with nothing in between this time, it was skin on skin and Liam thought he might lose it, just from this. "Ah, Ni… f-fuck… "

"Good, yeah?" Niall asked, his voiced sounded a bit rough but there was still the hint of his usual cheeky smirk, not that Liam could've payed much attention now, he was trying really hard to both keep it together and not rip out Niall's hair or break skin with his fingernails, it's just… bloody hell. 

They kept going like this for a while, Niall pressed their lips back together, mouths wide open as he slipped his tongue back in to join Liam's, rolling his hips harder and a bit faster but slowing down when Liam's breathing got a bit too urgent, as if he wanted to prevent this from being over too soon. Not that Liam was mad about dragging this out for longer, he just hadn't expected one of Niall's hands to rub down his side slowly to slip in between them, his eyes flying open immediately as the younger boy wrapped his fist around Liam's erection, slowly jerking him off. "Niall…"

There was no response, the younger boy just grinned as he kept going, not leaning down to kiss Liam again but rather keeping the eye contact for a while, using both their precum as sort of lube and shit, it was so good, Liam would've nutted right off into the boy's hand had he gone a bit faster, but Niall knew how to get someone off. Or not, in that case.

He was moving his hand awfully slow, even looking down once just to watch his hand around Liam's dick while the older boy pressed his eyes closed, biting hard into his bottom lip as Niall rubbed his thumb over the head after pulling the forsekin back, catching his thumbnail in the slit and using the new precum oozing out to rub over Liam's length. Fuck. "N-Ni… p-please… go f-faster… fuck…"

"No, you look so good right now, Liam, you have no idea, all flushed and sweaty, shit, you should see yourself." His free hand stroked some wet hair out of Liam's forehead before he pecked his lips once more, not deepening it because there was no point, Liam couldn't have properly kissed him now anyways, not while he had to moan loudly every few seconds because of Niall's talented, slightly rough palm around him. "God, I could be doing this and watching you all day."

"D-Don't you d-dare… aaah…" Liam was so, SO, close when Niall suddenly let go, chuckling a bit as the older boy protested immediately just so he could feel the hotness in his stomach coming back as Niall suddenly wrapped his hand around both of their erections instead, rubbing them together easily thanks to them being so wet, creating an even stickier mess on both their lower bellies. Liam was gonna die, he was sure of it now. "N-Niall… m-move…"

"Okay, y-yeah…" Finally the younger boy wasn't being so relaxed anymore either, he leaned his sweaty forehead down against Liam's before fucking into his own fist, causing both of them to moan out at the lovely friction he was creating, holding them pressed together like this, his dick rubbing against Liam's, god, maybe Liam wouldn't have had such strong reactions if he had done anything like this before but he hadn't, not with a guy anyways. 

"Fuck, yeah… yeah, you feel so good against me, Liam, aaah…" Niall was seemingly enjoying himself, he picked up speed a little bit now to Liam's relief, the older boy had his eyes pressed closed tight, clinging to Niall's shoulders as the other boy kept fucking into his fist, breathing out harshly against Liam's skin. "Yeah, just like that, just like that…"

They were both so sweaty by now, Liam could feel their skin sticking together slightly, not anything that would've turned him down in any way though, this was so hot, Niall was clearly trying to get himself off as quickly as possible now, his grunts sending chills down Liam's spine as he picked up speed, moaning so loud that Liam was sure his room neighbors were gonna knock on the door any second.

But they didn't, Niall needed only five more thrusts before coming all over their bellies, panting loudly against Liam's mouth as he pressed his on top while riding out his orgasm, slowing down a bit afterwards to Liam's displeasure. He wasn't just gonna roll off of him now, was he? 

"Fuck, that was so good, Li… " It took a few seconds for the boy to calm down, he still had his hand around Liam's erection and his own now softening dick, fingers still stroking up and down a bit, not enough for Liam to cum though. "I'll get you off so good now, promise… I'll make you moan my name."

"Niall-" Before Liam could respond, the older boy had cut him off by simply slipping his tongue back into Liam's mouth, excitement bubbling through him nevertheless as Niall kept thrusting his hips, in a slow rhythm now, his hand jerking off Liam, slipping down a bit to tug at his balls gently, rolling them around softly, not letting the older boy turn his head away though, he was literally fucking his tongue into his mouth now.

Liam's fear about not being able to get off turned out to be more than unnecessary, this might have been ever better than before, he had no idea anymore about who he was or what was going on, Niall's hand job was like going to heaven, he knew the perfect way to flick his wrist, always doing a full stroke, his palm circling the head before stroking back down.

Combined with Niall's fantastic kissing method, Liam was at the edge again within seconds, almost about to let go when Niall's mouth suddenly slipped, letting the older boy's moans leave his mouth as he tucked his head down to suck at his neck again instead. His hand left Liam's erection as he went lower instead, scratching over his taint with his fingernail while still providing friction by thrusting their hips together.

Just as Liam was about to truly moan out Niall's name, the younger boy snuck a finger between his arsecheeks and Liam's eyes came flying open, he had never been touched there, especially not like this, but Niall's finger was prodding at his hole, attempting to push in, and combined with his frantic thrusts and hot, wet sucking on his neck, that was all it took for Liam to come hard, with the younger boy's name on his lips just like he had predicted. "Niall… oh god…"

"Told you you'd be moaning my name, Payno." He had, Niall kept going as the older boy rode out his orgasm, honestly, he couldn't remember ever coming this hard or this long, he was honestly in heaven, the pleasure was so intense that Liam felt completely worn out afterwards. Fucking hell, that boy knew how to do this right. "Good?"

"Fuck… t'was perfect, Ni… thank you…" As Liam slowly came down he had a hard time even keeping his eyes open, Niall removed his hand from between his legs, petting his thigh before pressing their lips together once more. Liam only kissed back weakly, he felt like he had exactly no strength left now, the alcohol intake wasn't really helping with that either. 

"Are you gonna fall asleep?" Yeah, he definitely was, Liam managed as much as a shrug, not bothering to open his eyes after Niall had pulled away. The younger boy chuckled a bit too much before suddenly moving off of Liam, too fast before he could grab a hold of him.

"Noo… what are you doing?" Liam complained, he didn't want Niall's warmth to be gone, he didn't care that they were filthy and sweaty, he was definitely someone who wanted to cuddle after sex and though they hadn't gone all the way, Liam wanted to have Niall close.

"'m just getting the blanket, relax. Just keep your eyes closed, yeah?" Not very sure about this, Liam forced his eyes to stay open for a bit so he could see what Niall was doing, but the younger boy's words turned out to be true, he really did collect the blanket from where it was bunched up at the end of the bed, trying to untangle it a bit before squeezing himself into the small place next to Liam.

Of course these beds weren't made for two people to sleep in there in any way, but Niall seemed to know what he wanted and what he was doing, he managed to cover both of them with the blanket after quite some turning and moving. Liam had let his eyes fall closed again by now, turning onto his side so they'd have more space, not even thinking about it as he reached out to curl his arm around the younger boy's waist, trying to pull him closer.

"Jesus, you really do wanna cuddle with me, don't you?" Niall sounded quite amused though, Liam wasn't very sure if he was still awake or not actually, but it definitely felt like Niall did move closer towards him, the warmth of his skin making Liam even sleepier. 

"I really like you, Niall…" Somehow Liam felt the need to say it, he was sleepy and drunk though, so of course he wasn't embarrassed or aware that this was the dumbest thing to say ever, but it was how he truly felt and he had the need to let the younger boy know that.

There was some silence, Liam almost passed out three or more times, everything coming together now and making him sleepier than the second before, but he felt quite awake when he felt soft lips against his and heard Niall whisper, so quietly that Liam wasn't sure if he really did catch every word in the right way. "I like you too, Liam."

 

——————

 

When Liam woke up, he knew nothing but the fact that he had a slight headache, it wasn't too bad though so he tried falling back asleep, for the moment completely unaware of what had happened last night.

The next thing he noticed was that his stomach felt slightly weird, sticky kinda, and then also, he seemed to be completely naked, which was kinda weird, he usually never went to bed without clothes on. Finally, it also was a bit too warm in bed for some reason, not in a bad way though, it was actually rather nice since Liam wasn't wearing any clothes, he was about to let himself be lulled back to sleep when he moved slightly, suddenly realizing that the space on his bed had somehow gotten smaller over night.

Confused, Liam blinked his eyes open, first of all annoyed by himself because he had obviously forgotten to turn the lights off, secondly, he almost fell out of bed as he stared into someone else's face right next to his. Niall's face.

Immediately, Liam's heart sped up twice as much, he couldn't move anymore, he was just lying there on his side, not even blinking, just dead on staring into Niall's relaxed face and his closed eyes, watching the boy sleep but not really seeing anything either. Niall Horan was in his fucking bed.

It took a while for the memories to come back, they seemed ridiculous, like some kind of dream, partly Liam couldn't even remember any details at all. But there were two things he did remember that shocked him more than anything else in the world ever had. One, lying on the rooftop and kissing Niall, and two taking the boy back to his room and getting off with him on the exact same bed they were lying on now.

Oh god.

Liam almost panicked right there, like, his heart was bumping so fucking fast it seemed impossible to stay in his chest, he couldn't even move, couldn't do anything but stare and think that he had messed up so fucking badly that he might have to change uni yet again.

Actually, Liam was already planning on what to pack up first and how to tell his mum that she needed to get him right now when his mind slowly allowed him to think more clearly, his headache not so bad that he might have not been able to judge the situation correctly. Right, okay. He had gotten off with Niall Horan, had sneaked away with him at the party to kiss him and then take him back here so the other boy could give him the most amazing orgasm of his life.

Only question was, how could it have come so far?!

Of course Liam knew that he had been fucking shitfaced, he wouldn't have normally behaved this way, ever, so careless and confident, and he wouldn't have just bloody kissed Niall and then let him give him a (very good one to be fair) hand job afterwards. Liam knew how Niall was, it's not like his friends hadn't warned him 1 billion times, it's not like he hadn't seen the proof for himself.

But he had still done it.

The reasons why were kinda unclear to Liam, but the longer he thought about it and studied Niall's still gorgeous face, the weirder this whole situation seemed to get. Like, hadn't they said Niall didn't hook up with guys? And why exactly had Niall immediately been glued to Liam's side as soon as he had arrived to the party? And if he had had this all planned out… why would he have taken Liam to the rooftop? And risked both of them falling down because of how shitfaced they had been? But most of all, if he had had this planned… why the fuck hadn't he thought about getting a condom?

None of this was adding up, which was Liam's only hope really, he knew why he had played along, knew why he had said all these things he could still remember faintly though. He really did like Niall, more than a friend, at least he could finally admit that to himself after last night or he wouldn't have done it, not even drunk, the alcohol had just helped Liam to say and do what he had secretly wanted to do.

This was really bad, he had managed to do exactly what he should've done the very least, what the others had told him not to do yet somehow, Liam felt like he hadn't had a choice, he had been bound to fall for this boy, hadn't he? Just like everyone else. There was a reason after all, why Niall was so popular, and Liam got it now, he truly did.

Still, he had no idea what to do now or what to think, he didn't know why Niall had done any of the stuff he had done last night, but Liam did remember Niall being the driving force, Niall being the one asking for a kiss and asking Liam to take him back to his dorm, he had been the one saying Liam was hot and fit and that they should've done it sooner. So had it really just been sex he had been after? But why Liam, out of everyone?! And if he didn't even sleep with guys usually?

And then of course, if Liam's memory wasn't making a fool of him, why had Niall kissed him shortly before he had fallen asleep, telling Liam that he liked him too? What if he did like him, what if the others had been wrong and Niall had really wanted to do this with Liam, what if?

That tiny hope was what gave Liam enough strength to finally get up and out of bed, making sure Niall was still tucked in though, deciding that he wasn't gonna panic too soon, he was gonna wait and he and Niall were gonna have an adult conversation and Liam was not gonna freak out, right.

There were tons of missed calls and texts on his phone, mostly from Zayn, but Liam ignored them, just grabbing some clothes to put on and his things for the bathroom before heading out into the hallways, even if it felt kinda hard to leave Niall behind when he could've stared at him all he wanted to for once.

The shower helped a bit, also, no one else was there because it was a saturday morning, actually, Liam was quite surprised that he was already awake, but he was quite happy too because the thought of waking up after Niall and not having a clue what was going on was a bit scary.

That was also the reason why Liam felt a bit bad as he came back and the other boy was still tightly asleep, cuddled even further into the sheets now, breathing evenly as he slept, hair all messy and lips pink and soft. Liam would've done anything to be allowed to kiss him right now, or get back under the covers with him and cuddle him until he woke up. But he couldn't just do that, could he?

For a while, Liam just sat on the edge of the bed and tried to not over analyze last night or make himself any hopes, but it was hard not to do that when the whole situation seemed like Niall liked him back, maybe he did, right? Maybe this had meant something to him too?

Either way, Liam really liked the younger boy and he didn't want to mess up now so he thought about letting Niall sleep for as long as he wanted to, deciding that maybe he could go get some breakfast because Niall seemed to really like that, and who didn't like eating breakfast in bed right?

So before he left, Liam left his full water bottle and some pill for headaches on the bedside table, getting some paper from his stuff then to leave Niall a note, just so the boy would know that Liam would come back like… what would be worse than waking up alone after something like this? Maybe not for Niall, but Liam felt like he should do it, taking embarrassingly long to come up with the right words to write down, still feeling slightly unsure afterwards.

 

_Niall,_

_I'm just gone to get some breakfast, maybe we can talk once I'm back?_

_Liam :)_

 

Okay, the smiley might have been too much, but just as Liam was about to start all over again, his eyes got stuck on Niall's sweet face and the boy made some sound in his sleep so Liam left it there, instead focusing on Niall sleeping for a second or two. Or minutes. 

Looking at him like this, he seemed to be someone else, not the confident, loud guy that Liam knew, he seemed to be the boy that had gotten hurt during the football game, the one who had been too scared to put on salve by himself, the one who pushed little girls on the swing in the park. Maybe that's who he really was, maybe once Liam would come back they'd talk this all out and it'd be fine and maybe… yeah, he didn't wanna think that far.

Still, that thought was maybe the main reason why Liam decided to fuck it and lean forward to press a light kiss on Niall's temple, the boy was asleep after all, but he just looked so cute and cuddly and who knows, this might have been Liam's last chance to ever do that. But hopefully it wouldn't be.

Even though it was quite early in the morning, Liam wasn't surprised when his phone went off as he was about to leave campus, there really was no need to check the display though, he knew it was Zayn even before looking down. Well, he was gonna have to answer at some point. "Yes?"

"Liam! Where the fuck are you?!" Of course that was the first question Zayn asked, he seemed kinda relieved though, probably because Liam had finally picked up after 100 attempts to call him, but still, this wasn't gonna get easy to talk himself out of, like… Liam was pretty sure he wouldn't tell any of his friends what had happened. Not now.

"Going to get some breakfast, why?" He tried to sound casual, which wasn't too hard like, Liam didn't feel too bad anyways, he was kinda hopeful and maybe a bit excited as well, slightly scared, but that was okay, right?

"Are you with Niall?" That wasn't very surprising either, Liam got a bit more nervous now, but he was pretty positive that he was gonna be able to make up some sort of story, he knew he'd have to tell Zayn and the others eventually, just… he wanted to proof them wrong. He wanted to talk to Niall first and maybe figure out that nothing of what the others had said about him was true. And if it was then… well, Liam didn't feel very comfortable thinking about that to be honest.

"No, I'm not." He answered truthfully, then, because it had maybe come out too fast, he tried to change his voice to slightly confused sounding, hoping that Zayn was gonna buy it over the phone. "Why would I be?"

"Because you pissed off with him last night? After like half an hour of us arriving? And no one saw any of you two afterwards, like, where the fuck have you two gone, I already called Louis and Harry, we thought Niall kidnapped you or something, why the hell didn't you pick up your phone?!" Okay, well, they had a right to be angry, Liam sighed a bit, he felt slightly bad now, also for having to lie, but what choice did he have really? Besides, he couldn't have called or texted Zayn back any sooner anyways. 

"I was asleep until now. And last night, Niall showed me how to get up on the rooftop, it was pretty cool like, we stayed there for pretty long and talked and then we took a taxi back to the dorms." None of this was a lie, was it? Though Liam couldn't really remember all of it 100%, it was still true. "Sorry for not calling back earlier, I didn't want you to worry about me."

"It's fine, just… " Then he hesitated, probably thinking about how to bring it out, ask the one question Liam was sure he was gonna get. "You just stayed on the rooftop to talk? Are you sure that happened?"

"Yeah, we did, I mean… we were a bit drunk maybe, Niall took half a bottle with him, but we were definitely up there." And then kissed and gotten each other off, nothing special really.

"And? That's all? Are you sure, Liam?" Zayn was obviously not believing him, but he didn't sound like he knew anything, he just sounded pretty confused and surprised, probably not able to believed that they hadn't done nothing else too, snogged for example.

"Yeah, why? What else do you think we have done?" Liam felt pretty smart to be honest, he was almost at the only store he knew, the closest one to campus, when he changed his mind, like, it'd take him longer, but he knew Niall would enjoy it more if he got him breakfast from the coffee place they had been to 2 times before, and Liam felt like he really wanted to make the boy happy right now so he walked past the store, still waiting for Zayn to answer.

"… I don't know, I was just checking. So you're fine, yeah? And you didn't, I don't know… hook up with Niall once you got back?" He even laughed, it didn't sound very amused though and Liam felt chills down his spine, he didn't want to lie so directly, but he kinda had to now, hopefully Zayn would't be mad once Liam told him the truth… IF he ever told him the truth, he just wanted to figure this out himself first. But also… how fucking embarrassing would this have been, to confess that he had really hooked up with Niall after everyone had warned him? And then on top of it not even having done it for fun but because he really liked the boy, another thing he had claimed wasn't true?

"No? Why do you guys always think I wanna hook up with him?" Hm, maybe because he did and they knew him WAY too well?

"Just checking. Alright." Now Zayn really did sound relived and Liam felt his stomach turning into knots, he didn't like lying to his friends, but this topic especially was a bit more serious than the usual ones, Liam wasn't used to being involved in something as weird as this situation to be honest, his life was quite boring. "Then I'm sorry for asking, I was just a bit scared, you know, because of how he was yesterday when we arrived and all, was a bit weird. Maybe he really just wants to hang out with you all the time, like, who knows."

Right, could Zayn stop trying to make Liam false hopes, AGAIN, right after telling him last night that he needed to be careful around Niall? Liam was making himself enough hops to last for a lifetime of misery right now, Zayn really needed to stop trying to cheer him up like that. "Yeah, I don't know, maybe… well, anyways, how was the party? Didn't experience much of it."

Liam's desperate tries to change the topic seemed to stay unnoticed, Zayn just started telling him random things like, Louis and Harry threw everyone out of Harry's bedroom after an hour, a few people threw up, someone passed out, the usual really, Liam was only listening to one ear, pretty relieved when Zayn told him he needed to hang up because he really did not want to explain why he was ordering breakfast to last for 2 people in the background.

The walk back got Liam a bit worried, like, now he had lied to one of his best friends and he still didn't even know what to say to Niall, hopefully the boy wouldn't be awake once Liam came back so he had more time to think about what to say. Or maybe Niall would just be his usual self and blurt out with everything and then Liam wouldn't have to talk too much.

Honestly, he knew that his hopes were up too high, that he shouldn't have been imaging what it'd be like to kiss Niall again, sober this time, it's just… why would have Niall have done any of this if he didn't like Liam at ALL? He would've understood if he had been a girl, but he knew Niall didn't hook up with guys, and Niall had said it himself, he had told Liam that he liked him, and he had kissed him really lovingly before, that definitely had not been a dream.

When Liam finally got the courage to unlock his door, all of his planned out scenarios collapsed within a second. Niall was neither awake nor asleep, the bed was messed up though and the boy's clothes were all gone, all that was left was Liam's note, now laying in the middle of the bed, having something scribbled underneath what the older boy had written before.

Somehow Liam already had a bad feeling before even putting the bag down, his hand was shaking a bit as he took the piece of paper, only needing to look at it for a second before his heart was already dropping.

 

_Sorry, I forgot I still have homework, I'll pay you back the money for the breakfast_

 

Had Niall really just left with the shittiest excuse ever? It seemed quite like it.

 

———————

 

Liam didn't do anything for the rest of the day, he tried to go back to sleep but lying in his bed made him feel slightly weird now so he sat at his desk instead, plainly staring out of the window. Part of him knew why Niall had just left like that, with such a stupid note, the dominant part though, was still making up excuses for the younger boy, like, maybe he really had had to do homework? And then hadn't had time to text or talk to Liam for a whole day, right.

Attempting to finish his project now turned out harder than ever, but Liam forced himself to work on it, it was the only kind of homework he had to do, the only thing that helped him to distract himself slightly. Even though not really because it revolved around the one person he tried to forget.

None of his friends wanted to hang out either, Louis spent the whole weekend at Harry's and though they texted, Liam could tell that his best friend was slightly distracted and probably suffered from a hangover. Then Zayn, Liam didn't really wanna talk to him right now to be honest, he felt really bad for lying now and he suddenly wanted to apologize and confess everything, but he couldn't for some reason like… he should've been able to solve this for himself, right?

So that's how Liam spent his whole saturday inside, he ate both his and Niall's breakfast over the day so he wouldn't have to get anything else, called his mum for a bit, and then BOTH his sisters just to have something to do. Just so he wouldn't go lie in bed and listen to music and then get overemotional or immediately assume the very worst of the situation.

Maybe Niall needed time to think this through as well, that didn't meant anything, right? Liam would just wait until tomorrow and then he'd send the boy a very casual text and they'd talk this out all calmly. Yeah, that's exactly what they were gonna do, no need to stress out.

On sunday, Liam tried to sleep in just so the day would pass without him having to worry really, but of course he woke up way too soon for his liking, lying in bed then and not being able to stop himself from recalling every single detail he remembered from the night before. It's not that his memories were uncomfortable or anything, he had enjoyed it after all, he really did like Niall, he was just worried about what the other boy thought about it.

There were no messages on his phone that Liam would've hoped to see, he gave himself until like, 4 pm to text Niall, by then the boy would surely be awake, right? That was a good time for a talk, not too soon, not too late, Liam was just gonna do some stuff by himself before that, it was fine, he didn't need anyone to talk about this or get some advice, he knew what he wanted and felt and he'd tell Niall just that, no more being awkward and shy, Liam would just pull through with this. 

Since he felt like going insane from being in his room for that long, Liam decided he should go for a small walk around 12 pm or something, maybe it'd help to clear his head and come up with some smart things to say to Niall later. He could've also gone for a run, but honestly, he didn't wanna have to be in a hurry to get under the shower later.

It was a quite nice and sunny day, Liam tried to truly enjoy himself and pretend his life was going as good as it could be, he even talked to some people from his journalism class only to find out that all of their projects were going 100 times better than his. Okay, nothing to get discouraged about, he still had time.

All of his plans kinda went downhill when Liam walked around the back of the main building, he hadn't been here too often so he thought it'd be nice to familiarize himself with everything, since he had time and all. Bad idea. VERY bad idea.

At first, he wasn't even paying attention since there were people everywhere anyways, so why would he look at each of them individually, right? He didn't, the only reason why Liam looked up at some point was because he heard some familiar laughter, not immediately being able to recognize it, but he automatically turned his head before really thinking about it.

And then he froze on the spot.

Niall was with a group of friends, they were sitting underneath this tree, only a few meters away from Liam, like, there was nothing wrong with that, right? Liam didn't expect the blonde boy to lock himself into his room like he did, that wouldn't be a very Niall like thing to do, no, it made sense that he was here, with his friends, just… why exactly did he have this girl in his lap? And why were they holding hands over her stomach? And why didn't Niall even flinch when she turned to peck him right on the mouth?

Liam didn't know if he wanted to puke, scream or die, or all of that, in exactly that order. God, he was so fucking stupid! How could he have thought Niall and him were friends?! How could he have been so bloody dumb thinking the boy liked him somehow special? Or wanted him for something else than simply sex? How-

"Isn't that Liam? Hey, Liam!" Fuck.

Immediately after one of Niall's friends had pointed it out, they were all staring at Liam within half a second, all of them smiling of course and waving, because why would they not? All but one.

It was kinda nice to see Niall's laughter dying out and his face going paler than a ghost, he locked eyes with Liam for one second before the older boy looked away immediately, quickly waving back before turning on his heels, hurrying into the same direction he had come from. If they hadn't been watching him, he would've run.

Well, there was no need for a talk anymore now, Liam felt tears burning in his eyes as he made sure to walk around the corner as quickly as possible, not expecting anyone to come after him, especially not Niall, which was why he almost suffered from a heart attack as someone grabbed his arm a bit too hard, forcing him to stop. "Liam, wait, please."

God, what the fuck did he want from Liam?! "What? Let me go."

"I…" Niall seemed to be taken aback by Liam's harsh voice, he wasn't smiling for once, letting go immediately though after the older boy had turned around, trying to glare at Niall and not get soft knees at seeing his gorgeous face or thinking about how much he had missed him. And no, he wasn't gonna start crying now, or forgive the boy, he would stay strong, no matter how soft Niall's voice was all of a sudden. "I think we should talk."

"Really? I don't think so at all to be honest." What was there to say? Liam crossed his arms in front of his chest, pretending that he was annoyed when in reality, he wasn't sure if his heart had ever been broken so painfully as it felt like right now. 

Niall let out a sigh, he did look guilty, but what did that help? He had used Liam and then just left him just to have someone else a day later, like, did he have no fucking decency? "Look, I'm sorry I left on saturday, Liam, I… I just didn't… didn't know what to say." 

"Well, that's something new." Liam snapped, he wished he could've been meaner, yelled at Niall or something, the boy would've deserved it anyways, he was such an arse, why would Liam try to have a civilized conversation with him? Why was he even still here listening to these lies? "Are we done now?"

"Why are you being so mean?" What the hell?! Had Niall REALLY just asked that? With that stupid puppy face of his that used to get Liam go all soft inside but not anymore? Was he STUPID?!

"Uh, let me think… maybe because you pretended to be my friend just so you could hook up with me and then leave me just like that and one day later you already have some weird chick in your lap?" Maybe Liam shouldn't have blurted out with it like that, it's just, he was so fucking angry, he didn't even know whether he had ever been in such rage as right at this second. Pretty sure if he had been one to solve problems with violence, he would've already smacked Niall right across the head for these stupid answers alone.

"What?! I didn't _pretend_ to be your friend just to hook up with you, I never _planned_ on hooking up with you to begin with!" Well, that was good to know right?

"Right, then sorry for your drunken mistake, it must've been fucking awful." Of course it had been, Niall obviously didn't like Liam just one single bit, he hadn't even been worth a talk, he was probably worth less to Niall than the dirt on his shoes, only reason they were having this conversation was so Niall wouldn't look bad in front of everyone else.

"I honestly can't remember that much at all." Then he fucking dared to simply shrug, his eyes never leaving Liam though, it wasn't a nice feeling to keep eye contact with him now, because he obviously knew how to use his face too well. "Look, I understand you're mad I left and I'm really sorry I did, just… I didn't think it was that much of a big deal, I mean… it happens, right? And we were both drunk, I don't want this to change anything between us, I really like hanging out with you."

Alright, Liam wasn't gonna lose it, he was gonna breathe calmly and not punch this boy in the guts or yell at him, he could do this. Louis and Zayn had been so right about Niall that Liam wanted to throw up now, he was _exactly_ how they had described him and Liam had been stupid enough to fall for it, just like everyone else. Other than them though, Liam was in too fucking deep, he always was with everything. "No, thanks. I think we should just never ever talk to each other again and you can go back to your girlfriend and leave me the fuck alone from now on."

"Liam-"

"No, really, it's fine, no big deal, right? I'm just a fucking idiot who thought being friends with someone who screwed the whole campus was a good idea, my bad." Yeah, that had hit Niall, it made Liam feel proud for some reason, he liked catching the ever smiling boy off guard, see HIM fighting for words for once, look hurt by what Liam had said. He deserved it after everything he had done.

"I didn't screw the whole campus…" Niall was only mumbling now, for the very first time, he actually looked down, as if he was sad or ashamed or whatever. Well, he should've been.

"Good luck then completing your list, I have better things to do than talk to you. Have a good life." Liam wanted to turn around and just leave, he really did, it was just hard to do so when Niall was yet again holding his arm, pulling to keep him where he was and since Liam didn't really wanna cause a scene with all these people walking past, he just glared at the younger boy instead of screaming at him or pushing him away. "Let me go. Now."

"No, I won't because you're being fucking ridiculous, I'm not gonna let you walk off like that and be mad at me because I did nothing wrong. We are friends and I like you, I never planned on hooking up with you but it happened and I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen and that's the truth." Yeah right, did he honestly think Liam would believe him? Niall could bite his perfect, soft bottom lip all he wanted, he wouldn't get away with it this time. "And she's not my girlfriend."

"So you're playing her just like you did me?" Twisting his arm out of the blonde boy's grip, Liam crossed his arm in front of his chest once more, he could feel tears building up once more so he'd definitely have to leave before they spilled over, it was just hard to have this conversation with Niall, because no matter how much of a fucking douche he was, it still hurt to know that Liam had been so wrong about him, that he had genuinely liked the boy. And still did.

"I wasn't playing with you, Liam, I…" Then he stopped all of a sudden and Liam thought he was in a bad movie or something, Niall seriously interrupted himself to force a smile on his face and greet this guy walking past as if it was the most natural thing in the fucking world! 

"You're seriously so full of shit, Niall, what the hell was that?!" Liam waited until the guy had gone away and Niall was about to continue talking, but now he was flinching slightly, probably at Liam's harsh, loud voice. Good.

"I-I… I didn't want him to hear what we were talking about…" Look at that, Niall stuttering was something Liam would've never thought he'd ever experience in his whole entire life, he had really hit something there. 

"Right, of course, sorry. I'll make it easy for you, no one will find out about what happened and you're never gonna have to be confronted with it again because I never wanna talk to you again, alright?" The others would've been so proud of Liam right now, he usually was unable to make such decisions and sound so firm and convinced, but this situation was a bit too extraordinary as to not be. 

"No not alright, Liam…" Niall sighed deeply, as if he was annoyed or something, but as he looked up though, he looked kinda devastated and it threw Liam off a little bit, not enough to as where he would agree to have a normal conversation with him though. Never. "What did you want me to do, Liam? If I had stayed? Did you want to have breakfast with me and pretend it didn't just happen? It was weird for me too, alright? I usually don't… don't hook up with guys, especially not with good friends, I… what'd you want me to say? Or do? Stay and spend the day with you and I don't know… cuddle in bed?"

Oh. The way he said it caused Liam to forget about the answer he had had prepared, it's just, Niall was saying it like it was the most ridiculous thing that could ever happen in the whole world, of course he did, because he didn't like Liam, but getting confronted with it like that still hurt for some reason, just like this whole conversation did. Liam made a mistake then, he was staring at Niall, opening his mouth to respond but closing it again when he realized he had no idea what to even say, his facade slipping for one single second. And that was exactly what gave him away.

"Oh my god… _you did_." Shit, Niall sounded more than surprised, his eyes went wide as he covered his mouth with one hand, as if this were the most shocking news in the whole world. Maybe it was. 

"I… no, I didn't, I just…" Fuck, Liam couldn't talk himself out of this, especially not like this, he really didn't want Niall to know about his feelings towards him, the younger boy would just use them against him, and probably make fun of him behind his back afterwards, that hadn't been a very smart decision.

"Liam, oh my god… I didn't know you like me like that, I… oh god, I'm sorry." This time he really did sound apologetic, it was almost impossible to bear like, Liam actually had to blink some tears back now, inconvenient as it was, god, this was the worst conversation he had ever had in his whole entire life, now Niall was fucking pitying him! Or pretending to at least, he even came closer, but Liam immediately took a step back, if Niall was gonna hug him now then he was gonna lose it. "I really am sorry, Liam, if I had known it's such a big deal for you, I would've never… of course I would've stayed to talk if I had known and I definitely wouldn't have… I'm so sorry if you thought that…you know…"

"I didn't." Liam lied, he couldn't need the blonde boy knowing how fucking much it hurt, how many hopes he had made himself, he would've just embarrassed himself even more. "Anyways, I gotta go now, I have stuff to do."

"Liam, please don't do this, we can… go to my room and talk about it if you want? Louis isn't here. Or we could… I don't know, anything you want really, I'm so sorry, Li…" Why was he such an amazing actor?!

"It's fine. I don't wanna talk, I just want you to leave me alone, okay?" Well, the harsh voice wasn't working that well anymore now, Liam cleared his throat a little bit, staring at something over Niall's shoulder because looking into his apologetic face was probably the worst thing he could've done right now.

"But I-"

"No, I'm being serious, Niall, just leave me alone, yeah?" Liam would get over him, right? It's not like they had classes together or randomly saw each other more than maybe once in two days on accident, he could handle it if only he stayed away from the blonde boy. 

"Li, I…" Then he hesitated and Liam didn't storm off like he had planned, he kinda was still curious, especially because Niall's face seemed so pained. "Please don't think of me like that, don't think I enjoy playing with your feelings or something, or that I had this planned, I… I maybe suspected you had a little crush on me, but I was drunk and I really did want to show you the rooftop, just… I wasn't planning on letting it escalate like that, never, I wouldn't ever hook up with you if I was been sober, I… wait, shit, that sounded really wrong, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"You know what? Go fuck yourself, Niall." And then Liam left just like that, no second too soon because there were tears rolling down his cheeks the moment he had turned around. 

Niall didn't try to stop him anymore after this.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who left me such nice comments, i really appreciate all of you guys so much and i hope you're gonna like this chapter! :)

"Li, you okay, man?" Would Liam have counted the number of times he had been asked that question in different variations during the last week, he would've for sure run out of numbers by now.

He had never been one to be able to properly hide his emotions, only he had never really had a reason to either, he just was like this and his friends knew it and then they'd talk about it and help and all would be fine. Not this time.

Liam gave himself one day to lock himself into his room and just let it out, he was so done with all of this, with this stupid boy, he couldn't believe Niall had played him like this, couldn't even believe that his other friends had ever had a reason to befriend Niall if he was such a douche. But then again, they also hadn't fallen in love with him and hooked up with him just to find out that he had been tricking them into thinking they were somehow special or good friends or whatever.

Then again though, maybe Liam had imagined all of that too, it was probably Niall's tactic, though Liam still didn't know why Niall had done it with him since he was a guy, he also kinda didn't want to find out anymore. Whatever it had been, it was just going to drag him down even more.

Forgetting about the blonde boy was really hard work too, Liam would have to hand his project in soon, so he tried really hard to finish it, no matter how crappy it might turn out, he still wanted to at least have it ready. Like, he even hung out with some guy from his class once after almost dying on the spot while trying to ask for help, which had turned out a lot better than expected though. Maybe uni was the only thing he wasn't gonna get problems with here.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Liam answered Harry's questions after a bit too much hesitation, they were at his house now, only the four of them because Liam wouldn't have come had they invited Niall too. Weirdly enough, Louis had told Liam that Niall had made up the stupidest excuse ever as to why he had no time. Probably wanted to make sure Liam wasn't gonna tell the others about their… night, he seemed terrified of anyone ever finding out. Well, Liam was pretty much an idiot, he couldn't blame the blonde boy about being embarrassed.

"Are you sure? You've been kinda acting a bit… off all week. Plus, no offense, mate, but you don't look so good, have you even eaten since tuesday?" Louis sounded more like he was joking, but Liam honestly thought about it for a bit, he really couldn't recall how much or when he had eaten in the past week, like, it was saturday already again and it felt like it had been years already since he and Niall had talked to each other.

"Of course I've been eating, Lou, don't be stupid." To proof it, Liam leaned forward to get a handful of popcorn Harry had put there before on the table, they were in the living room, not doing much but talking a bit and watching TV, still felt better than being alone in his room because Liam tended to get teary eyes lately when he wasn't being distracted. This whole thing was so fucking humiliating, like, whenever he saw Niall and his friends on campus he couldn't help but immediately try to get away as fast as possible, either Niall hadn't told them or they were all secretly laughing about Liam. Either way, he didn't ever want to accidentally look into Niall's eyes again. "Wouldn't be sitting here if I hadn't, would I?"

"I guess so…" Shrugging, Louis' eyes wandered back to the TV, he didn't seem to be too worried about Liam, which was a good thing, just, Harry didn't look too convinced because Liam could feel the boy's stare sometimes, and also Zayn didn't say anything, but he still had this look on his face, as if he knew Liam had been lying to him on sunday. But he couldn't know because Niall was terrified of anyone finding out, plus he couldn't tell these three out of anyone because they'd be on Liam's side and then he'd be out of here faster than he could blink. Hmm…maybe, if Liam hadn't been so fucking ashamed and beaten down, he would've told them himself. "How long are we gonna watch this dumb show, where's the remote, Haz?"

"Calm down, I'm already switching the channel. There's nothing on today, we gotta face it, maybe we should do something else." Harry started zapping through the channels again like he had for the past ten minutes, they were all pretty bored because there was literally nothing to do but Liam really didn't want to go home and work on his project again, he'd have to hand it in on tuesday and though he was done with it… it was trash, probably, half of it was made up too because Niall had literally given him no useful information except for what he liked for breakfast and that he was a fucking asshole.

"Maybe we should call Niall." Well, maybe that day wasn't so bring after all, Liam should really leave soon, it was getting late, like 1 pm already.

"He said he's busy, Lou." Wow, was it always so hot and uncomfortable in here?! Liam didn't even know where to look anymore, he took his phone out instead, pretending to type a fake text message while hoping that Louis had been joking, why'd he wanna call Niall anyways? Just because they had nothing to do?! 

"Yeah, I know, just… sounded a bit weird when I asked him, like… " Shifting a bit on the couch, Liam was praying that he wasn't making any unnecessary sounds that would maybe get him the other's attention, he really didn't want to have to lie again, or worse, pretend to be completely alright with Niall coming here.

"Why'd you wanna ask him anyways, Louis, aren't we fun enough for you anymore?" Zayn threw in to Liam's relief, he had been kinda unsure about the looks his friend had given him before, but maybe that had just been because Zayn was always overly worried. 

"That's not what I meant, just… Niall's always saying all this stupid stuff and it makes me laugh. It's not HIM that I want here, only his jokes." That was something at least, Liam relaxed a bit, for a moment he had almost been worried that Louis had changed his mind, that he suddenly wanted to hang out with Niall just like everyone else did. But this was Louis and of course he needed to be entertained, as much as Liam despised (or maybe not but he was in his fantasy) the blonde boy now, he had to admit that Niall was funny and energetic. "But he'd probably not pick up anyways, he's probably screwing some chick in our room, hopefully not on the carpet."

Maybe Liam shouldn't have flinched after this, like, he hoped no one had been watching him dead on staring at his phone, but he still hated himself for having shown the tiniest reaction, he couldn't even check if anyone had been watching because he was really focusing on this fake text message here, very important. "You know he'd pick up even if he was in the middle of it. Remember that one time I slept over at your room and he asked if it would be alright if he had sex with this girl right next to us? I'm sure he would've if she had agreed, he's ruthless."

Then they all laughed at what Harry had said, or maybe only Harry and Louis, Liam couldn't quite tell and he also didn't really want to to be honest, he just wanted them to switch the topic because it still hurt, like… just because he knew that Niall had probably just been playing around and pretended to be nice, Liam still liked him. And as much as he hated it… he missed the boy too. Something he'd have to get used to because Niall hadn't even tried to make things between them alright again, yeah, he had sent Liam one more text, on monday, asking if they could talk, but that had been all. He had probably already forgotten that he even existed. 

"Guys, calm down a bit, he's not actually like that and you know it, like, that was one time and he was quite a bit drunk." Why would Zayn defend Niall now, was he crazy?! Like, not that Liam knew what had happened but he knew damn well that Niall REALLY was like this! 

"Yeah, but still. Me and Haz have been drunk at the party but we still threw you guys out before doing anything." There, Louis was right and Niall was gross and an arsehole. "Which brings me to another topic, like, I can't believe he didn't take anyone home from the party, he _always_ does. But there was no one, right, Li?"

Embarrassingly enough, Liam almost dropped his phone at that, he had only been listening with one ear, so hearing his name in combination with a question was a bit of a shock. When he looked up after saving the phone from cracking on the floor, all the three of them were looking at him, Louis kinda curious, Harry a bit worried and Zayn… Zayn had his eyebrow raised. "Uh… why would you ask me that?"

"Because you've been in the taxi with him? You have been, right? Zayn said that-"

"Oh… y-yeah. Yeah, I was." Shit, his cheeks felt so hot, Liam didn't know where to look, he was so sure he had just given himself completely away, maybe he should've excused himself to the bathroom or something, but that would've been even more obvious probably.

"So? Were you alone?" Now Liam's face was on fire, he knew why Louis was asking him this, but this was so awfully close to them asking about what Liam was terrified to even think of.

"Yeah, um… we were… alone." Right, they might as well have not been because Liam could honestly not remember the taxi ride at all? Like, he had some memory of Niall's hand under his shirt but he didn't really want to investigate that any further right now.

"See, that's really strange. I mean, if I didn't know better I'd say you were the one he screwed after the party, no offense, it's just really weird that he'd just go back to the dorms with you. Like, after spending his whole time with you alone, he's not usually like that." Wow, could this have gotten anymore awkward?! Liam cleared his throat a little, trying to lean back and act comfortable while Louis blabbered on and the other two were staring at Liam as if he had something in his face. "Plus he wasn't even that drunk when you and Zayn came, right? I mean, I can't remember properly because I've had a few drinks, but that's still pretty weird and-"

"Hey, babe, stop for a second, okay?" Harry suddenly interrupted Louis, who looked a bit confused for a second before his eyes got stuck on Liam too, just like the other's had way before. Shit, he was so screwed now. "Li, you okay? You're a bit… "

"I'm fine…" Liam mumbled, really quietly though because he was suddenly scared his voice might break away, he shouldn't have been so scared about anyone finding out but he really was, especially because he had lied to them. What if they were mad if they found out? Would they be on Niall's side then? 

"Alright, just… you look really uncomfortable right now." Probably, Liam also _felt_ really uncomfortable, like, Harry's voice sounded rather nice and gentle, but he still refused to look at the boy any longer, he felt like that alone would have given him away, but he probably already had. "Is it because of what Louis said?"

"Look, Li, I know you and Niall hang out sometimes, I didn't mean what I said, we're just teasing a bit, that's all, you know he's our friend too, hell, we introduced you two. I mean, his sexual activity doesn't really affect any of us, right? It's just jokes." Awesome, now they were thinking that Liam felt uncomfortable because he and Niall were like best friends or something, which was still better than them thinking that Liam looked uncomfortable because Louis' words had really hurt him, like, he was just rubbing it in, that Niall took someone else with him after parties, every single time, that Liam had just been 1 out of god knows how many. Which he had been, but… "And anyways-"

"Louis, shut up." Now Liam did look up, somehow automatically, to see Louis' mouth close immediately and Harry's face go confused, both of them staring at Zayn who looked pretty done with this topic, much like Liam, for a lot of other reasons as it turned out though. "That's not why Liam's upset, I… I wouldn't say this in front of you two, but I'm really worried and I know you wouldn't wanna talk about it with me, Li. I mean I get why you lied, just… actually, I don't know. Did you think we weren't gonna be on your side? Did you think we were gonna laugh?"

He knew. Zayn fucking knew and Liam's heart was beating so fast, he could hear his ears rushing a bit as his eyes widened in shock, how the fuck had he found out?! Who had told him? … Niall??? But that couldn't be! The boy hadn't wanted anyone to find out, he surely wouldn't have told Zayn! 

"Wait, what's going on?" Louis and Harry seemed equally as confused, looking from Zayn to Liam and back, they really seemed to have no idea and Liam appreciated that the 3 of them hadn't talked behind his back, just… why had Zayn brought it up now?!

"I'm not gonna say anything if Liam doesn't give me permission." Where was the point in that now?! "Li?"

"I-I…" Liam stuttered, still not able to think clearly or get it into his head that his secret was out, or would be in a few seconds like, he could have as well told them himself now, right? They weren't just gonna let it go and he would've told them sooner if it wouldn't have been so fucking humiliating and dumb and god… why the hell had he gotten drunk? Why did he have to fall for someone like Niall? Why _him_?! "I… um… kinda… accidentally, like… maybe… errm… taken N-Niall to m-my… room and, um…"

"Oh my god… OH MY GOD!" Well, that was certainly not the reaction anyone would want, Louis literally jumped up in between, not that Liam was looking anywhere but staring holes into his lap, cheeks on fire but also his eyes were burning now, it was just really nerve wrecking to being confronted with all of this again, thinking about the morning after he had woken up, how hopeful he had been and then… "You hooked up with Niall?!"

"Very sensitive, Lou, calm down." Obviously Zayn was trying to help now, AFTER he had spoiled Liam's secret, well, the other boy knew where he was coming from and that it had been wrong to lie, but he still would've rather kept this a secret. Then again though, this would've come out at some point, better sooner than later. 

"I can't, oh god, this is really bad. Liam… shit. Why did you… no… he said he doesn't hook up with guys!" There they had it again, but Liam had come to the conclusion that it had been because Niall had been shitfaced, everyone made mistakes after all, right? But then if that was true, he couldn't have had it planned.

"He was really drunk… so was I." As if this was making anything better, Liam shrugged a bit, flinching slightly as Louis dropped back on the couch, very close to him now, well, at least he wasn't mad at Liam, if he sat so close, right?

"He's drunk all the time though! This isn't good, man… did you talk to him about it? Like… what happened afterwards? In the morning?" Yeah, that was the really embarrassing part, if Liam hadn't acted like such a pussy the whole time and blushed and played with his fingers while looking down, maybe he could've pretended that it hadn't been a big deal. 

"Well… I woke up and he was still asleep and I… I panicked a bit but then I had like, a shower and I thought… we could like, talk about it and I… and I thought it'd be easier if I went to get breakfast because he… he likes breakfast but um… he was gone when I came back…" Could this sound any more pathetic really?! No one ever answered and Liam was too nervous to look up, he didn't want to admit that he really _really_ liked Niall, like, Louis maybe already knew, maybe they all did, but, confirming it was something else. "Well, I thought he needed some time to like… think about it, you know? But then the next day, I… I saw him kissing this girl and then he saw me too and came after me and we… we had a fight and I um… told him to leave me alone but he kept talking and telling me that he still wants us to be friends and then, you know… I told him he should go fuck himself. And we didn't talk anymore after that, like… he texted me monday and asked if we could talk again but I ignored him and yeah… that's it. Sorry I lied, like… whenever you guys asked if anything was up, just… I didn't know how to say it…"

There was silence after this, too much silence, Liam almost thought they all hated him now or would stop laughing, but then he heard Harry clear his throat a little, his voice still sounding rather quiet as he spoke. "You… you bought him breakfast?"

"He likes breakfast…" Liam tried to defend himself because it was true after all, right? Why was this the thing Harry asked, why wouldn't Liam buy Niall breakfast to make their talk easier? "Why's that a big deal?"

"It's not Liam, just…" Then Louis suddenly scooted over closer to Liam until he was right next to him, very unexpectedly wrapping his arm around the other boy and squeezing him a bit. It helped Liam to calm down a little, at least they weren't mad or laughing at him, maybe he should've told them sooner, now that it was out, he really did feel a tiny bit better. "That was really nice of you, actually. I wish… I wish he'd be this thoughtful for once. Do you, like… remember how it happened, like… why?"

"Um… he showed me the rooftop and… and we were both drunk and then he asked me to, um… kiss him." And then Liam just had, like, he hadn't been THAT drunk up there, but apparently Niall had or he wouldn't have asked of course. "And then well… I did. And after a while he wanted to go back to my dorm, so… but when we talked or… fought, he said it wasn't planned and that he was sorry and-"

"Wait, why'd he be sorry?" Harry interrupted, Liam looked up briefly, feeling a bit more confident with the weight of Louis' arm around his shoulders. "Like, I mean… can't imagine him being sorry about this, if anything, I'd expect him to shrug it off and tell you to get over it, no offense, but I've seen him doing that."

"Um…" Well, this was the point Liam hadn't wanted to get to because yeah, Niall had kinda tried to shrug it off until… until he had figured out that Liam had feelings for him. But he couldn't say that now, could he? "Well… he was like… asking me what I had expected him to do if he had stayed and then… then he kinda, um… accused me of liking him and…"

" _Like_ like?" Louis asked and Liam felt the blood coming back into his face, why was he asking like this when he had already accused Liam of the same damn thing himself?!

"Um… y-yes." But Liam didn't add a 'and I do like him like that' he just stayed quiet, hoping that his lip wasn't gonna start bleeding if he bit down any harder.

"And do you? Like him like that I mean?" Should Liam have nodded here? He waited for a little bit, trying to find the right answer, knowing that lying wouldn't have helped so he shrugged in the end, a bit helplessly maybe, half nodding but what was the use, right? So now it was out, finally, not like it had been a secret, but it still caused Liam's stomach to turn uncomfortably as he waited for reactions. "Well, shit. I mean I… I wasn't sure if you did and you know how I tried to tell you how he's like after you stayed in his bed over night, but… "

"I know…" They all knew about that as well apparently because no one asked, Liam leaned back now, feeling slightly defeated but Louis just went with him, not letting go or loosening his arm. "I'm sorry."

"Why, Liam? It's not your fault if you fall for someone and especially Niall because he's like out for people to admire him and we all know you and him have been hanging out and all… like, he even introduced you to his friends and all." Hesitating, Louis took a deep breath, as if he had to calm himself down or anything, and maybe he did because what he said next had Liam flinching slightly. "That little piece of shit, I'm gonna kill him."

"Louis-"

"No, Haz, I'm serious, what the fuck has he been thinking?! I mean Liam's not just one of his groupies who are like out to fuck him and then be dropped, they don't care, I asked one of them if she wasn't mad he had someone else the week after, she said _oh well_. OH WELL! Why didn't he take one of those?! How fucking shitfaced has he been?!" A good question, the knot in Liam's chest loosened a bit, he could even stop dead on staring at the carpet now because having Louis' support with this felt really good. "Can't believe I'm sharing a room with this pig, I'm gonna ask him to switch with Liam or Zayn."

"Let's not overdo it, Lou, we don't know if he's been planning this after all. And I doubt it actually, because why would he do that to Liam? He knows we'd be mad at him and it doesn't seem like he doesn't care about us, like, he's always been trying to get us to come to his stupid games and all, it doesn't add up. Plus, Liam's a guy and Niall's the straightest kid I've ever met." See! Even Harry saw that it didn't make any sense, all that was missing now was Zayn saying something seeing as he still hadn't shared everything, when Liam looked over at him, his friend actually seemed kinda hesitant all of a sudden.

"Guys, he… he didn't do it on purpose. Or plan it, neither of it." Zayn shrugged a bit before sighing, obviously already being able to tell that Louis was gonna freak out at this.

And he did, like, Liam was actually so surprised by how much Louis was standing up for him, it was amazing. "If you're gonna start defending him then get out of my sight, like how would you know how that crazy psycho thinks? Or if he's even capable of because I highly doubt it."

"I know because he told me, it's that easy. I wasn't so sure about what Liam told me, sorry, Li, but that story really wasn't good, and so I asked Niall on monday and at first he tried to laugh it off and deny everything but eventually he gave in really easily. And he was devastated, really, I've never seen him like this, he told me he didn't know Liam had feelings for him and that he didn't know how it happened because he really does like Liam as a friend, and us of course, so he wanted to apologize but didn't know how. Maybe that's why he texted you afterwards, Li, I don't know, I just know that he said he'd stay away from all of us for as long as this would stand between you and him because he said he knows we're your best friends and he didn't want you to be uncomfortable around us if he's there too. That's why he's not here today." Wow. Had Niall really said all of that? But why would Zayn lie, right? Damn, if Liam would just be able to suppress his ever growing hope, it was so damn distracting!

"He could've lied, Zayn, you know him, he's good with words, he-"

"I know, Lou, but not with this, trust me, I was the one who stayed with the two of them at the party because I was unsure about what Niall's intentions were. That's also why I called Liam afterwards, but when I talked to Niall… it was almost like he was relieved to tell someone? He said he hasn't told anyone, none of his friends or anyone, just me. If he really didn't care or had wanted to make Liam feel bad he would've literally told everyone but he hasn't." Yeah, because he was fucking embarrassed. But then again, why admit it to Zayn? And if he really was embarrassed… why had he done it in the first place? Liam hated that however he twisted this it somehow turned out that Niall had really been drunk and not planning it and that Liam was just being mad because he was disappointed and hurt.

"Still, sounds like bullshit to me, it's like he's been trying to lull you in so you're on his side if it comes down to it. Only thing that's weird is that yeah, he's not here and also, Liam's a guy, this is confusing as shit." Sighing on more time, Louis squeezed Liam's shoulders again, obviously trying to cheer him up now because he was smiling a bit as the other boy checked, his mood still at zero though. "Don't worry, he's gonna regret this and you're gonna get over him, we'll make sure to distract you."

"I think we should all sit down and talk about it. With Niall." Um… no, bad idea. What was up with Zayn? "He deserves a chance in my opinion, like… I know you guys are gonna get mad now, but if you had been the ones talking to him you would know what I mean. It's like he wasn't even Niall."

"He was Niall when he was being an ass to Liam though. Our best friend." Louis said the last part as if Zayn had forgotten, it made Liam feel sightly uncomfortable to see them arguing like this, but at least Harry felt much the same because he shared a look with Liam that seemed quite helpless. "Anyways, let's not fight over this, he's not worth it in my opinion, like… maybe Liam and Niall need to talk but I honestly don't trust him anymore and I don't won't him to hurt Liam even more. I mean, it's Liam's decision if anyone's."

"I… I don't know if I wanna talk to him…like, maybe in a few days, but…" Liam admitted, throwing an apologetic look at Zayn, who just shrugged, he didn't seem to be mad though, which he could have been, after all, Liam had lied to him. 

"Then that's settled. Look, Li, I know you like Niall and it's okay, but he can be a real dick and we don't know why it happened or what his damn problem is but… you're always gonna have us, okay? And we can talk about it as often as you want, I'll even go kick Niall's ass for you, you just gotta ask, you know." He really should've talked sooner to them, Liam didn't really feel like smiling but he tried to at least, getting a bit of a too tight hug back from Louis.

"Thanks, guys, I… I should've told you all sooner, I'm sorry." Like really, maybe Liam could barely breathe anymore when Louis hugged him even tighter with a 'Stop apologizing you dickhead' until they kinda slipped down on the couch and Harry started laughing, coming over to throw himself on there as well. It was good though, for a moment Liam could forget where he was and what had happened, it was like it had been before all this mess, Zayn staying out of it like usual and calling them idiots, still watching them with a fond look on his face though. It was good, but sadly, it only lasted for the moment.

 

—————

 

Liam didn't feel so good anymore once he was alone again, of course he had stuff to do for uni but he couldn't bring himself to really do anything except for lying in his bed and mindlessly staring at the ceiling. Why was this so complicated?

He really did miss Niall, and what Zayn had said… like, it really didn't make any sense, either Niall had planned it or not, if he had then why would he have done that and then be embarrassed of it afterwards, that didn't even make any sense! Plus, why Liam?

And then the fact that he had told Zayn about it and felt so guilty that he wouldn't even wanna hang out with them anymore, just so that Liam wouldn't feel uncomfortable. But Niall liked the other guys, that's something Liam was very sure of, and he would just throw this all away, for Liam, because he felt guilty? 

Shit, why was all of this leading to the fact that Niall wasn't an asshole? What IF it had been a mistake, if he really liked hanging out with Liam and wanted to be his friends? Only problem now was, Liam felt embarrassed and humiliated because the blonde boy knew about his feelings and also … if they did have a talk and sorted this out then what exactly would Liam get out of this? He'd just feel miserable like before but adding up to that, he'd have to be around Niall all the time and pretend that he wasn't. 

Maybe doing nothing to change the situation in any way would be the solution, it's usually what Liam did, or go tell his friends, but he didn't really wanna bother them, plus he was scared Louis might go and yell at Niall. And after all, there was the possibility that Niall wouldn't even have deserved to be yelled at, actually, now Liam should have been the one feeling guilty somehow, like he hadn't exactly given Niall a chance to say much and then he had told him to go fuck himself simply because he had felt hurt and disappointed. Wasn't Niall's fault after all that Liam liked him too much for his own good.

Still, he didn't do anything about it, simply letting the day waste away after they got back from Harry's, sleeping pretty unwell both that night and from sunday to monday, but it's not like Liam had a choice about whether he wanted to function or not, did he?

"Do you still need project or are you done already?" Liam didn't exactly know when he had made friends during his classes, but apparently ever since he had made a complete fool of himself and asked this guy whether they could compare their projects, they would sometimes talk to each other. Embarrassingly enough, Liam had forgotten his name and now he felt like it was too late to ask again. 

"Well, I… I worked on it over the weekend, so…" A lie. Liam had read through page one yesterday night, true, but then suddenly his throat had felt really tight and he had rather done some of his other homework instead. Honestly, he didn't care about his grade anymore, he just wanted this to be over. "I hope it's not complete trash." 

"Didn't seem like it to me when I looked over it, plus our professor isn't that hard on us usually and he seems to like you, so I think you're good. Anyways, you wanna come to the cafeteria? I'll be meeting up with a few friends there, they always bring people as well, it'd be fun." For a moment, Liam was already about to automatically so no thanks, but then he looked over and it didn't seem like the guy had just asked him out of pity, he didn't even know Liam after all, it seemed like he genuinely meant it so, why not? Better than sitting around all by himself.

"Oh, alright, thanks." That's something Liam didn't usually do, but it kinda felt right today, plus all of his classes were over and he really didn't want to go back to his room anymore. Or wander around campus by himself, that had been proven to be a mistake already.

They small talked a bit on the way, Liam kinda hoped the other boy would throw his name in again, but he never did of course, it wasn't exactly entertaining or anything to talk to him, but it was still better than doing nothing at all. Turned out that 'a few friends' were like 10 people who all introduced themselves to Liam and he wasn't sure if he even kept one single name but it was alright because he doubted that he'd ever hang out with them again.

"So, you're new, right? How long have you been here, a month?" That was the kinda conversation Liam didn't really feel like having, especially because it felt like he had been here for years already, but he was trying to be polite here, after all, he didn't even know these people.

"Yeah, pretty much…" Liam was glad that not everyone's attention was on him, like only three or four people were actually interested in what he had to say, or pretended to, not that he could be mad, he knew he wasn't exactly good at telling stories. Or keeping conversations.

"And you're majoring in Journalism too? Who was your project about then?" Right, see, this is why Liam maybe should've gone to his room after all, it was hard to escape that topic for some reason. Even though they didn't even know what Liam's project was about, like, the guy he had come here with was the furthest away from him, talking to some girl while Liam cleared his throat thoughtfully, staring at his coke.

"Um… I don't know if, um…" Well, that would've been a stupid thing to say, _everyone_ knew Niall after all, Liam felt himself blushing a bit, four pairs of eyes on him as he made a fool of himself, almost choking on his own words. "I made it about Niall, uh, Horan, if you know-"

"Really? Niall Horan?" Alright, Liam should've definitely made something up instead, although now, they seemed kind of impressed all of a sudden. Great, now what else should he throw in? That he had hooked up with him? Awesome idea. "Are you like, friends with him?"

"Isn't everyone?" Liam blurted out, immediately regretting it when he saw their faces, quickly trying to laugh it off afterwards, suddenly the fact that Niall had given him a hand job wouldn't stop ghosting around in his head anymore. "I mean, yeah, I guess, um… he's my best friend's roommate."

"Oh, alright. So you're not like, super close?" For some reason the girl who had asked leaned in a bit closer now, as if this was a secret or something, she seemed very suspicious as Liam shook his head, because they weren't right? 

"No, not really. Why?" Had she hooked up with him too?

"Just curious. My friend was with him for like, a week or whatever, or at least she imagined she was, I think he had like 3 other girls at the same time though, and she brought him to our room and he was like, super nice and all, I was just wondering what he's like when you're not a girl he wants to you know… " Fuck you. Yeah, well, Liam couldn't really help with that now could he? 

"Well, we… we don't really hang out that often I just… just did this project with him and he was quite nice, so…" Yeah, what else could he have said? Liam was staring at his hands now, pretending to be really interested in the tiny scare he had on his thumb from his childhood, he should have really payed more attention to this right now. How on earth had he ended up here with these random people he had never seen and yet the only topic was yet again the very same?!

"Well, if you didn't know then he's like, the popular guy on campus, you know? Since you're new, maybe no one told you, but he's slept like, with every second person you can possibly pass by. Girls only though, Niall hooking up with a guy would be something I'd like to see." Oh god. They were all laughing so Liam forced himself to join, but really, he felt kinda dead inside, suddenly he had Niall's face popping up in his head, the one he had had after Liam had accused him of having slept with the whole campus. Didn't seem like _everyone_ liked him after all. And as if Niall had planned to hook up with Liam, if this was so weird to everyone, imaging the blonde boy with another guy… why had he done it? The alcohol? But that also meant he had been completely serious when he had apologized to Liam. Shit.

"I… I don't know, I heard some things, but like… don't really wanna get involved or-"

"Sht." Liam's stupid ramble got interrupted as the guy sitting next to him bumped his elbow very uncomfortably into his ribcage, Liam almost said something not so nice, looking up with his mouth half open already. And then he froze, someone muttering "Speak of the devil" next to him. For a good reason.

It was pretty unfortunate but also not very surprising at all that Liam looked up just in time to see Niall walking past with his friends, of course, they locked eyes immediately, as if it had been meant to be. Or as if Niall had already been staring at him before, after all, that didn't seem too unlikely anymore either.

There was immediately some kind of rushing in Liam's ears, his heart bumping faster, he couldn't even hear what the people around him were saying anymore, he couldn't even turn his head though he really wanted to, he just silently prayed for Niall to walk past, look away, _anything_. But he didn't.

Instead, Niall seemed to be confused for a second, it's like, Liam was too good at reading this boy's facial expressions, he definitely wasn't smiling that wide anymore, or laughing, in fact, he suddenly stopped walking. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. 

"Is he coming over? Do you guys think he heard us?" That girl from before whispered, Liam ignored here though because her question had been kinda dumb, as if Niall could hear across the whole cafeteria, right. But he could obviously very well see someone. 

It was so embarrassing, after Liam had finally managed to look away, he stared at his hands again, trying to pretend that he wasn't more than aware of Niall walking over to them, alone. Why was he doing that, what if just sat down and talked about whatever?! Had Zayn told him to do that? Or had Louis kicked his ass after all? God, Liam never wanted to find out. 

Luckily, a lot of the people Liam was sitting with weren't paying a lot of attention, like, Niall wasn't the center of the universe after all even if some people talked about him as if he were, but it was bad enough that Niall was coming here at all, not only because there were other people too but like… Liam hadn't planned anything to say?! Maybe Niall didn't even want to to talk to him, maybe-

"Hey, Li." Or maybe he did. 

Almost immediately, Liam accidentally kicked his coke bottle off the table, it had been closed though, but of course, Niall caught it easily and put it back on the table, his eyes somehow having gotten bluer since last time as Liam accidentally looked up, cheeks on fire once more. Why was he smiling like this? "Um, hey…"

"I was just wondering if like… if we could talk for a moment? Alone, I mean." The last part gave Liam chills, suddenly he knew why Niall was doing this, because Liam couldn't say no, couldn't yell at him like he had done a week ago, not with all these people around. Actually, Liam didn't know if he would have ever done that again, he was suddenly really embarrassed about it too.

"Uh, sure…" Of course Liam felt the stares as he collected his stuff with shaky hands, he'd never be able to look into any of these people's face again, he had literally just sat here listening to them bitching about Niall and now he was just walking off with him. Maybe that's why he got no answer to his rather quiet and stuttered "See you, guys". Fuck, how embarrassing could this actually get?

"What was the matter with them? That girl looked like she wanted to rip my head off." Niall sounded slightly worried as they were out of sight, but he was also talking like nothing had happened between them and Liam was panicking slightly, whenever he was near the boy it was like he suddenly got reminded of why he liked him so much and it was almost unbearable now, after only one week, he wouldn't be surprised if he had kissed Niall again if the blonde boy had asked. Not that that would ever happen again, but… 

"I don't know…" Liam lied, readjusting the strap of his backpack, he had no idea where they were going, Niall was leading him out of the cafeteria clearly, but that's all Liam knew because he was too busy watching his feet as to really check his surroundings. No matter where they were about to go, it wouldn't make this talk any easier. 

"Weird." Niall shrugged, which Liam only saw from the corners of his eyes, he was almost about to send one of his friends a panicked text message asking them to come safe him, but that would've probably made everything even worse. Funny how just a few days ago Liam wouldn't have agreed to a talk with Niall in one billion years. "You're okay with us talking, right? I just… I've been thinking about it all week like… I would've asked sooner but I thought maybe you needed some more time? Just, I saw you and… are these your friends?"

"What?" Well that was confusing, five seconds ago Niall had caused Liam to blush and now he was asking this? Why would he care? 

"The guys you just hung out with? Like… I've never seen you with them before." Um, this was a kinda weird thing to say, wasn't it? Sounded like Niall was constantly watching Liam or something, great, now he definitely wouldn't look up anytime soon. Weirdly enough, they were even having a normal conversation right now to be honest like… Liam should've been mad or anything, but he wasn't anymore somehow, somehow he was so relieved that Niall and him were walking next to each other, it was almost embarrassing.

"No, I… this guy from my journalism class asked me to sit with him and his friends, I don't know them…" As if Niall cared, Liam felt dumb for providing so much information, they were in a part of the main building he had never been to before, hardly any other students around either. Well, that wasn't very surprising at that time of day, but Niall seemed to know where he was headed to.

"What guy?" Was Niall going crazy now?! If Liam had been brave, he would've checked the boy's face by now to see what was going on, but he wasn't, sadly, so all he noticed was that there was a bit too much curiosity going on. "Oh. I've seen you with him before, sometime last week."

"Yeah…" What the hell?! Why was Niall just randomly throwing that in there, that didn't even make any sense. Maybe he was embarrassed and didn't know what to say? His tone of voice said something else though. "He, uh… helped me with my project."

"Right. How's that going by the way? You still need me to help?" Honestly? Did Niall really think Liam was gonna ask him for help, after all this?!

"No, I… I'll hand it in tomorrow… thanks." They were obviously going for the library though Liam didn't know why at first, but he kinda guessed it was because there were no people around, literally no one, which was good but also a bit scaring, but at least they could sit down here to… talk, or whatever else Niall seemed to have in mind, Liam was getting more worried by the second now.

"Really? Can I look at it?" It seemed to excite him, the thought of reading stuff about himself, which got Liam a bit blushed because well… he had made up quite a bit, he couldn't have exactly written any personal stuff in there, which was all Niall had told him. Too much information.

"S-Sure…" Luckily Liam had it in his room, so he was hopeful the blonde boy would just forget about it again once they were done with … this. Whatever it was. God, Liam shouldn't have given in so easily, how embarrassing was this? How fucking humiliating?

"Awesome. Let's sit down, yeah? Just wanna… say a few things to you, that's all." Didn't sound very encouraging, Liam quickly looked down again after seeing Niall smile, not feeling very comfortable with the fact that Niall sat down right next to him, like, it was weird that he even wanted to be so close, wasn't he a bit annoyed or disgusted by Liam liking him like that? And they were all alone too, had Niall really brought them here because of that? 

"Um, okay…" Hopefully Niall would soon talk because Liam had no idea what to say, he kinda wanted to apologize, but then again… he kinda really didn't want to at all so he just kept staring at his hands, pretending not to notice that Niall's knee was almost brushing his.

"Okay, so." Clearing his throat, the blonde boy seemed like he was preparing for a speech or something, he didn't have his usual happy and carefree voice, he actually sounded serious for once. "I wanted to apologize again, for what happened at the party and also for what happened afterwards. I'm sorry I left on saturday, that was really childish, I… I know I said it wasn't a big deal but I'll be honest, I was a bit freaked out because I've never done anything with a guy. Especially not a good friend like you, you know? Which is also why I wish you'd believe me that none of this was planned, I didn't use you or just wanted sex, I… I really just wanted us to be friends and I really do like you because you're nice and you always listen to what I say and I don't know… I think we get along pretty well. And I know I'm kinda the fifth wheel now and all, I mean, you probably told the others and they're most likely pissed at me, which they should be, just wanted to say that, if you don't want me to, I won't hang out with any of them again. Not that they'd want to probably, but they were your friends first, and you're their best friend, so…yeah."

"I… I only told them because you already told Zayn." Liam had no idea what to say to any of the other stuff, he felt really weird now and his throat was a bit tight, he didn't want to get lulled in by Niall's words but he just sounded so genuine and sweet all the time, it was hard not to believe him somehow. Like now that Liam had had some time away and thought about it, he suddenly saw things in a different light.

"He asked me, I… I already thought he would actually. The way he was at the party… and then I even promised to look after you and then this happened… I'm really sorry, Liam, I was just drunk and… " And what? Nothing apparently, because Niall just let out a sigh, he was looking at something over Liam's shoulder as the older boy slowly lifted his head a bit, feeling slightly braver than before, maybe because of how Niall's voice had changed, it was like when he had hurt his leg, it gave Liam courage for some reason. "I know that… that people say I hook up with everyone just for the fun of it and… I've done that quite a lot, yeah, but I wouldn't ever do it with a friend, and the girls I had something with, they all know it's just that and nothing else, I don't wanna hurt anyone intentionally. I mean it sucks when… when someone suddenly comes and tells me they have feelings for me, but if I know beforehand, I'd never make anyone false hopes. Never, Liam, you gotta believe me, but with you it was like… I kinda suspected you might like me a bit more but I wasn't thinking about it at all, especially not at the party, I was just drunk and… I don't know how it happened. I'm sorry, please believe me."

See? This was really hard, Liam wanted to forgive Niall so badly now, also because he had really missed him the past week, and he sounded so apologetic now, it almost made Liam wonder why he had acted like he had in the first place. Maybe he should have apologized too, even if it would probably make Louis a bit mad if he ever found out, but… it kinda felt right to be honest as well now? "Well, I… I'm sorry too for, you know… freaking out like that, I was just… a bit, um… disappointed I guess, I mean, I knew you don't, well… like me like… that… but I… forget I said that, that was really stupid, I just… I'm sorry too."

Wow, Liam couldn't believe he had just blurted out with it like that, though it was the truth, but he had felt embarrassed before and it wasn't helping now that he had told Niall he had kinda made himself hopes that the blonde boy might have liked him back. Which, of course, wasn't ever gonna happen.

There was a bit of silence afterwards, almost a creepy one because of them being all alone in here, Liam was pretty sure they could both hear his heart beating too fast and his breathing going uneven, he actually felt like just collecting his stuff and storming outside to be honest. And then call Harry because he seemed to be the sanest of them all and beg him for advice without telling Louis.

All of that turned out to be pretty unnecessary though, Liam sat there for a few seconds more, thinking that Niall regretted having brought him here now, but in fact, the blonde boy actually seemed to have been gotten somewhat emotional now, at least judging by his voice because Liam refused to look up. "Oh, Liam…"

And then, as if Niall pitying him this obviously wasn't bad enough and had Liam turn into a tomato, the younger boy scooted even closer, not even hesitating before wrapping his arms around Liam sideways, immediately causing him to freeze. Like, not that that discouraged Niall in any way, he was holding on really tightly too, leaning his head against Liam's, apparently not noticing that the brunette boy was about to panic here. What the hell was going on?! "I… you don't, uh… have to feel sorry for me, it's f-fine, I-"

"I'm not, Li, I just feel really bad now because this sucks for you and I wish I had known and then, I don't know… I would've at least stayed and talked about it and had breakfast with you…. maybe we can make up for that, okay? If you want to, I mean, I'd understand if you didn't." He was so sweet, how could that be? His arms were really tight around Liam, and warm too, it was the usual heat his body seemed to radiate that gave Liam goosebumps, or maybe it was Niall's familiar smell stuck up all in his nose, who knows, whatever it was, it caused him to turn his brain off and slightly lean into the boy. God, what was it about him that had Liam feeling like this, that turned his brain into literal jelly? 

"Okay…" Liam mindlessly agreed, maybe it was the hug or the weight of Niall's head against his or maybe it was just simply the boy's presence, whatever it was though, it had Liam feeling a bit warmer, a bit more relieved, but also slightly scared, he knew he shouldn't have given in so easily, he just hadn't been able to help it. 

"I'm looking forward to that then." Was he doing this just to make Liam feel better? Because if so, it was working. Niall's voice was all soft now, his hug not loosing in any way, if anything, he seemed to hold on tighter. It was so comforting actually that Liam almost completely relaxed, pushing away the thought of how he'd explain this to Louis or anyone else, he really just wanted to sit here and let himself be lulled in by whatever the blonde boy was saying. "Hey, Liam… "

"…yeah?" Maybe Liam shouldn't have gotten so sleepy, but if the situation had been different and if he hadn't been so awkwardly embarrassed, he would've maybe even though of putting his head on the boy's shoulder, like… what would that matter now?

"I know that… you haven't been feeling good the past week and that it was my fault, just, you know, if you need anything or so or whatever… promise you come talk to me? I really wanna make up for what I did and I also don't enjoy seeing you beaten down around campus all the time, I… I like when you smile." Oh. The last part had come out a bit more slowly, as if he had hesitated, but Liam barely thought anything of it, he was more captivated by what Niall had said before, he was so caring all of a sudden, it made Liam feel so much better than it should have. Pity, maybe, but he had said it wasn't that, right? Plus he was still hugging Liam so maybe he wasn't grossed out after all.

"Yeah, I… I promise." Not that Liam was ever gonna bother Niall with his problems, but being like this with him, he would've pretty much promised the boy everything and anything. Which was a problem Liam was very aware of yet unable to solve.

"Thank you. Also for forgiving me, it means a lot to me. Really." It sounded honestly relieved for some reason, Niall squeezed him a bit harder afterwards and Liam already tried to prepare himself for being let go of again, however though, he barely noticed the loss because Niall did something else that almost left him breathless.

As the blonde boy started pulling away, Liam was about to sit a bit more straight again, his whole body freezing as he felt Niall leaning in once more, and then before Liam could even blink, the younger boy had smacked a _kiss_ on the side of his forehead, just like that. A KISS! 

He was smiling really widely once they were facing each other afterwards, Niall obviously pretending not to see Liam's stunned face and the older boy not being able to grasp just one simple thought. "You wanna go get something to eat? I'm really hungry."

And what else could Liam have done or said other than nodded as if though he was a robot or something, like… Niall Horan had just kissed his forehead, sober, and Liam wasn't exactly sure yet whether he was happy or freaked out by this. The butterflies in his stomach though seemed to already have found an answer to that.


	7. Chapter 7

"This is just strange. Like, _really_ strange, what's wrong with you? Both of you." Telling Louis about them making up had maybe not been that much of a good idea, but Liam couldn't have kept that a secret as well now, could he? He had basically texted Louis for them to meet as soon as Niall had finished his food and thrown his arms around the older boy, telling him he had to go now because he had training but that he'd text Liam for sure before tomorrow afternoon. And all that had only happened about ten minutes ago, Liam had just made his way to Louis' room without considering it. Maybe he should've gone to Zayn instead. "I gotta text Harry this. Did you already tell Zayn?"

"No, I… Louis, you were the one who told Niall he'd share a room with him and told me to be friends with him." Like, Liam appreciated that he was being supported should he have decided to never talk to Niall again, but like… he had explained the whole situation to his best friend yet Louis still seemed rather unsure about whether it had been a good idea. Not like Liam would've been able to change it now, or wanted to, hanging out with Niall right now had made him stupidly happy though they had done nothing but talk about random stuff, Niall had made him laugh more in an hour than he had all week long.

"I know. It's just… I mean okay, it probably hasn't been planned, but it's still weird, and now Niall is happy, but you… you're not getting much out of this in the long run." True, Liam was very well aware that he would have to watch now whenever he saw Niall with some girl, and he couldn't be jealous, couldn't act hurt, he'd have to just take it and hope his feelings for the boy would go away. Right now, they seemed to have only been fueled. "Sorry for saying it like that, Li."

"It's fine, you're right, I know…" Shifting around a bit on his best friend's bed, Liam had a hard time not checking the clock on his phone every five seconds, he knew that Niall was obviously gonna come back to his room after training and honestly, how awkward would that be? Not for Niall and Louis probably because they were good at handling strange situations, but Liam… not so much. "Have you even seen Niall ever since I told you what happened?"

"Nope. Have been at Harry's the whole weekend and I only came to my room shortly before you told me you wanted to talk, so if he storms in here any second this'll be the first time. At least now I won't have to kick his ass." Well, that was something at least, maybe it had been good Liam had only told him and Harry two days ago and already sorted things out by himself now. Or, not by himself, but rather had let himself be lulled in by Niall's charm, but that still counted somehow. "I already prepared for it, too bad. But can't do it if it hasn't been his fault I guess, it's still kinda questionable, that he hooked up with you, out of everyone, like no offense, it's just fucking weird, I'm not sure if his 'I was just drunk' excuse is that reliable, but I guess we'll have to go with it if it's good enough for you."

It wasn't, not really, but Liam just shrugged because he knew he wasn't gonna get any other explanation than that, and at least he knew Niall hadn't done it to fuck him over and tell everyone about it to make fun of him behind his back. He had literally told no fucking soul except for Zayn, and he still wanted to hang out with Liam, so whatever the reason had been, his intentions probably hadn't been bad. Maybe he had just wanted to try hooking up with a guy, who knows.

Niall luckily didn't come back for a while, Liam actually thought of just leaving before dealing with that possible tension, but then he stayed because he wanted to make sure Louis wasn't gonna say anything or whatever, like, he didn't plan on jumping in and defending Niall now, but he also didn't want the boy to be accused of things when he was in fact innocent.

When the boy came, Liam was still busy half lying on Louis' bed while his friend was attempting to clean his side of the room, one time finding a used condom that he pretended belonged to himself just so he wouldn't have to tell Liam it was Niall's probably. Too bad he and Harry had once openly talked about them not using protection anymore.

"Hey… guys." Niall seemed surprised for a moment at seeing Liam, but it didn't do anything to his smile of course, he looked rather tired and exhausted though, but he was wearing normal clothes and wasn't sweaty or dirty like he had been every time before after training. His hair was wet though, so he had probably showered there, like, it's not as if that was something essential for Liam to know, it's just, he couldn't help but over analyze everything Niall did. 

"Hey." Liam threw a worried look over at Louis, he hadn't sounded very happy and it honestly caused the brunette boy to swallow his 'Hi' for Niall as the blonde boy took his shoes off and walked over to his bed, dropping his bag somewhere before sitting down to look at them across the room.

"You guys okay? You seem a bit… tense." Well, yeah, this situation was way too stressful for Liam to be honest, he knew that Niall and Louis most likely had no problem handling this, but he could barely look anywhere other than the carpet without getting red as a tomato. Please don't let them fight, please.

"No, we're fine." Louis' answered sounded rather normal, not enough for Liam to be relieved though, he was honestly just waiting for it to come, he knew that is best friend wasn't gonna let this go so easily, maybe he'd wait until Liam was gone though. Or maybe not. "So… Liam told me you guys sorted this out."

"Yeah, we did. Right?" Their eyes met for a second, Niall's smile was soft, which didn't exactly help Liam not to blush, but he nodded anyways because it was true after all, he wouldn't be here and agree to voluntarily spend time in Niall's presence otherwise. It was still a bit humiliating though, to know that every single person in this room knew about his feelings for Niall. His unrequited feelings.

"Good. Because I would've made your life hell otherwise." There it was. 

Niall took it easy though, he actually laughed shortly, like, it's not that Louis had been threatening him or anything, everyone knew he said those kinda things without really meaning them, but it had still caused Liam to flinch slightly. "I know, Lou. Wouldn't have expected anything else from you to be honest."

"Damn right. At least you know I'd be on Liam's side if you ever pull something like this again. Or if you hurt him again, in whatever way, I don't care, I'll crush that pretty, little face of yours, Nialler." See, it was more like banter, though everyone knew that Louis did mean part of his words, it made Liam both feel proud but also a bit scared, he'd hate for them to have a real fight with yelling and stuff. "But if your explanation is enough for Liam, I suppose it's enough for me too. For now."

"Lou, I know how much he means to you and Zayn, and Harry of course, do you really think I would ever do this on purpose and hurt him? It's not like I don't care about him, you know I do." Well, this was slightly awkward yet it still made Liam feel a bit warmer, especially because Louis sighed defeatedly, as if he was sure Niall was speaking the truth, as if he really did know that the blonde boy cared about Liam. Did he really? 

"I know. I was just a bit… well, if it's sorted out now at least and you guys are cool again then I'm happy. Would hate for having to choose between you guys because it'd be Liam." Liam looked up at this, automatically somehow, just to check Niall's face, he didn't seem to be hurt by that statement, maybe his smile was a bit cracked for a moment, but nothing else in his expression would have suggested that Louis' words had hurt him. Then again, if there was one person who was good at overplaying things an hiding emotions, it would definitely be Niall.

"Can't blame your for that." His smirk seemed really convincing, like always, he got up all of a sudden, coming across the room and before Liam could think about what he might have been planning to do, he was already holding his arms open, surprising the older boy a bit because he was honestly offering a cuddle right now, with a cheeky grin, but still. Then again, maybe it wasn't that surprising at all. "I think a hug might help us to move past this now, just saying."

"Find someone else to snuggle, Horan." But it had obviously been a joke because Louis rolled his eyes before smiling a bit, honestly walking over to wrap an arm around Niall's waist. They didn't hug completely though, Niall still had his other arm stretching out towards Liam, giving the boy no chance to get slightly upset over them randomly hugging because it was obvious he was meant to join them. Awesome, maybe a slightly paler face might have helped. "Come on, Li, get in, I don't wanna have to keep on hugging him for so long."

"Hey!" Niall only protested playfully, softly hitting Louis' shoulder before turning his head to smile at Liam instead, his hand was still reaching out for him and the older boy hesitated for a moment before getting up to join them, immediately feeling the blonde boy's arm curling around his neck, pulling him into him so Liam had no choice but to stand way closer to him than to Louis. Who, by the way, only had his arm loosely around Liam's waist, apparently not half as motivated as the blonde boy seemed to be about this. Or as emotional. "I'm really glad you guys are my friends, and Zayn and Harry. It's true."

"We like being your friends too, Nialler. Most of the time at least." It was good that Louis was there because he knew what to say without stuttering like Liam would have, he even managed to joke about it while being so close to the blonde boy and while Liam had a hard time even breathing when he felt Niall's warmth like this, his arm brushing Liam's bare neck. 

"Very heartwarming, Lou, but I appreciate it." His laugh sent chills up Liam's spine, they were so close to each other that he could feel the vibrations going through Niall's body. "And I'm also really glad too that Liam's here now, it's much better to have five of us rather than four."

"Yeah…" That's all Liam could say, though it didn't even make any sense, but he saw Niall's soft smile directed towards him and his throat went kinda tight so he really had no other smart answer to this. Besides, it made him think this through again, the way Niall was acting now, it seemed impossible that he was lying or not being genuine in any way, he really did seem to care about all of them and Liam wondered whether he told all of his friends that or whether this was exclusive, whether Niall really somehow liked them more than anyone else. It didn't seem very realistic.

They stayed like this for a little bit longer before Louis pulled away, petting both Niall's and Liam's backs before going to clean up some more while the blonde boy kept holding onto Liam for a short while longer, his smile bright and arm tight around the older boy.

Just as Liam thought this was getting too awkward, moving to pull away too because he was sure Louis was watching them though he was rummaging noisily through his stuff behind them, Niall suddenly pulled him in even closer for a second, pressing his forehead against Liam's temple for a moment before surprising him even more. "I missed you."

His voice had been quiet, a whisper only for Liam meant to hear, Niall let go immediately afterwards, flashing the slightly perplex brunette boy another smile as he went to unpack his bag, leaving Liam standing dumbly in the middle of the room, with a thousand butterflies in his stomach and a strange warmth burning on his skin from wherever Niall had been touching him in the slightest way. 

This was not going to be easy, he could tell now that his slight euphoria about them making up and hanging out had washed away, it wouldn't be fun having to pretend Liam wasn't secretly wishing to be able to linger in these hugs for longer, be closer to Niall all the time. And most of all, having to watch other people getting what he so desperately wanted, even if only for a little while.

 

—————

 

Liam hadn't exactly thought any of his other friends would be so happy about him and Niall making up, but Zayn seemed to be very pleased seeing as he had tried to urge Liam to do this all along, but also Harry seemed to be happy enough as to immediately suggest that they should all hang out again as soon as possible. And of course, it's not like anyone really had anything against that idea anymore, especially not Niall. 

"I'm so glad we get tomorrow off, I mean, I could probably use the time to catch up on some school work, but I'd rather hang with you guys anyways. Speaking of work, did you hand your project in today? I forgot to ask you whether I could read it." Niall had been waiting for Liam after class strangely enough, alone, he had been leaning against the opposite wall, apparently knowing the exact time and right room. It would be a lie to say Liam's heart hadn't skipped a beat or two, he had even managed a smile as he had realized that the blonde boy was here because of him, no one else but Liam.

"Yeah… yeah, I did, just before actually. You can read it when I get it back… maybe. I mean… if I got a rather decent grade at least." Trying to make a joke, Liam hadn't actually expected Niall to laugh, but he did and it caused his stomach to do a flip, like missing a step when walking down the stairs. 

They were walking back to the dorms together, by now Liam knew not to be surprised by how many people were looking at them briefly or coming up to say some random things to Niall and though it made him slightly angry, he could calm himself knowing that it was still him Niall had chosen to wait for after his last class, still him and his friends the blonde boy was gonna hang out with today. "Thanks, Li. I mean, if it's bad then that's kinda my fault I suppose, maybe my life isn't interesting enough for your professor."

"I'm sure that's not… not a point he can criticize. I've just never done anything like this before and… well, I asked this guy whether he could help me, but yeah…" Shrugging, Liam dared throwing a look over at Niall, regretting it immediately because whenever their eyes met it was like all intelligence and smart thoughts were somehow draining from his brain. 

"One of the guys you were with yesterday in the cafeteria?" And would probably never be again, Liam had actually been scared today of seeing that guy again today in class, he had really behaved strange yesterday and he was very aware of that, just… Niall was a bit more important to him than people he had met 15 minutes before. 

"Yeah… he helped me work on it for a bit, don't know if it helped though." Probably not, Liam just shrugged, instead staring over the campus rather than at Niall's face, it was easier to answer him like this. 

"So he's your friend, yeah? You spend a lot of time with him?" Well, these kinda questions did sound a bit strange to Liam, it was like an interview or something, as if Niall _really_ wanted to know these things, as if they were somehow interesting or important.

"No, I don't I… I even forgot his name, it's quite embarrassing." For some reason, that made Niall laugh really hard, he threw his arm around Liam's shoulders, not causing him to freeze again this time because he was somewhat used to it, maybe enjoyed it a little bit, the fact that Niall was holding onto him so openly in public, it was quite nice.

"I could probably try to find it out for you somehow, if it's important, you know, but if he's not that good of a friend then you can probably pretend you know it." The weather was warm, but with Niall's arm around him, Liam felt slightly hot to be honest, not in a bad way though, if it had gone after him, Niall wouldn't have had to let go ever again.

"He's not my friend, I just… didn't wanna get an F, you know, I made a bit of stuff up maybe, so I wanted to know whether it's still, um… realistic." Better tell Niall now before he'd read it himself and realize it partly didn't sound very much like him.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, I mean… you couldn't have really asked me last week, so I get it… I mean you _could_ have asked me but I understand that you didn't want to." He shrugged a bit, arm still around Liam and then older boy felt himself blushing again, grasping tightly onto the book he had never put back into his bag. After seeing Niall in the hallway, leaning against the wall with his usual, black, skinny jeans and that white shirt that fit him so well paired with his million dollar smile, Liam had kinda forgotten about what he had been holding in his hands. "If you ever have to do a project again and need my help I'm gonna try to really help you this time, okay? Promised."

"I… thanks, Niall. You did help me after all, it's just me who didn't have the right ideas and all, I mean.. if it's bad then it's my fault and not y-"

"Hey, sh, it won't be bad, yeah? I know because I'm sure you take uni about 100% times more serious than I do, plus there's probably a reason why they just let you switch, so don't talk yourself down, yeah? You tried your best after all, it'll be fine." God, he was so nice, Liam's knees were getting slightly wobbly again, but he nodded either way, feeling a bit better now because yeah, Niall was right, he had been scared about handing his project in, but at least now he knew who to go to if he wanted to be cheered up in case this turned out bad. Which it would probably.

"Thanks, Ni…" Using the boy's nickname somehow made Liam happy, it fit so well to his and though maybe that was a stupid thought, it was true after all. 

"You're welcome, Li." And then he chuckled as if he had noticed the similarity as well, squeezing Liam's shoulder tightly before his arm started to slip, slowly, with his hand rubbing down the older boy's back, giving him unnecessary shivers. If he hadn't known better, he would've said it had been on purpose. 

They went to Liam's dorm room, actually, the older boy hadn't exactly expected Niall to come along but apparently he really wanted to because he never even asked whether it would be alright. Like, not that Liam would've told him no obviously, he just hadn't known that him packing his stuff would be something worth watching, but apparently, the blonde boy begged to differ.

"You don't mind if I'm lying here, right? I just don't wanna go back to my room, it's kinda boring to be alone in there when Louis isn't there, don't know how you're doing this all the time, I would hate to have a single room." Niall was honestly lying in Liam's bed, he had taken his shoes off just for that purpose, playing with Liam's watch that he had found on his bedside table. Kinda inappropriate how Liam couldn't stop thinking about that this wasn't the first time that he had this boy in his bed. 

"I sometimes like to be alone, you know… I don't mind it to be honest." Maybe sometimes when he felt lonely, but it's not like Liam had ever been asked whether he wanted a single room or not so he just shrugged, emptying his bag to fill it with some clothes. Sleeping over at Harry's would hopefully not be as weird as Liam feared, especially since he, Niall and Zayn would obviously be alone once Harry and Louis had gone upstairs to do whatever. He'd just try to sleep in really quick. "Plus… doesn't Louis snore?"

"Yeah, he does, you're right." Niall was chuckling from somewhere behind Liam, shifting on the bed for a bit. "But so do I sometimes. Sorry about that, I should've told you earlier before you agreed to sleep in a room with me tonight, maybe someone has some ear plus or so."

"I'm gonna ask Harry later." He had to stand Louis' snoring more often than Niall after all. Though Liam had actually been very serious about this, it had Niall giggling a bit too much for some reason, probably because he was always giggling anyways, it was a nice sound even if it gave Liam chills, it kinda made him happy too, being around Niall made it hard to not feel alright. Maybe that's why he had forgiven him so easily. Or maybe because he was really gone for this boy and everyone knew it.

"A wise decision, Li. Maybe I could also wait for you to fall asleep first, I'm not very tired anyways, especially if we're gonna watch movies. I don't know why some people always fall asleep when they're watching TV, how could they if they're paying attention? That's stupid." Apparently this seemed to be a huge issue to Niall, so Liam kept his mouth shut while trying to decide whether he should take sweatpants with him, like, he was definitely not gonna sleep in boxer shorts. Then again… Niall had also seen him without any clothes at all so there was that. "I hope none of you guys are gonna sleep in too soon though, it'd be quite boring. But I do like these kinda sleepovers, it's like we're freshmen in high school or something. I hope Harry's mum made cookies, she did once, they were amazing. Have you ever tried them? You should."

"I haven't, no, I… I've never been to Harry's house before coming here." But Niall had been tons of times apparently, he still seemed very excited about today, Liam could only guess to how many people's sleepovers the blonde boy would agree to go to. 

"Right, that's too bad. But I'm sure she's gonna make more some day. I like Harry's mum, she's really nice, I once told Harry I thought she was hot just to tease him, it was just a joke but he got really upset, it was funny." Laughing shortly, Niall was obviously lingering in memories for a bit, he had one arm under his head, looking up at the ceiling as Liam turned around for a second, about to answer when the other boy shifted a bit to look at him. "What are your parents like? Do you have siblings?"

"Yeah, I… I have two sisters. They're older than me. And my parents are… well, we get along really well I think, I call them once a week, sometimes a bit more often, depends." Especially last week Liam had spoken to them a lot more, a bit too much maybe, he felt blush creeping into his face as he quickly looked away from Niall's piercing blue eyes, feeling slightly bad too as he thought of the boy's own relationship with his family.

"You miss them, don't you?" Of course he did, but Liam just shrugged at the question, he was 19, not a baby, especially in front of Niall, though the other boy's voice had sounded soft, he wasn't gonna make a fool of himself now. Which wasn't working so well apparently. "It's fine, Li, nothing wrong with that. And you'll get to see them soon, right? Next time we have a break, I suppose you'll go home?"

"Yeah, I… I guess I will." It was still a while after then, but Liam managed to throw something like a smile at Niall who had sat up, running a hand through his hair before suddenly getting up out of bed, almost having Liam drop whatever he had been holding when he came over with that soft expression on his face. Why'd he always try to comfort Liam? And be so sweet and nice about stuff? It made it so much harder not to fall for him even more.

"You got me and the others until then though, right?" He came even closer then and Liam was almost about to back away in surprise, but Niall just smiled, picking up Liam's bag from the floor and holding it open for him to put his stuff in. Okay… "Here, put it in."

"Thanks…" Liam hadn't expected Niall to close the bag too before handing it over, his hand suddenly coming to a rest on Liam's bare arm, probably noticing the goosebumps rising there at an instant. 

"No problem. Can we quickly go to my room as well before we leave? Gotta pack my stuff too." And then he just stopped touching Liam again, it's like he was doing this on purpose, making the older boy blush and stutter and forget his words. Or maybe he was just being nice and Liam was overanalyzing the situation, wouldn't have been the first time.

"S-Sure…" Since when exactly was it only the two of them going to Harry's house? Since now apparently.

Niall only needed like five minutes to stuff some clothes into a random bag he found somewhere in his room, he had also talked Liam into taking some of his DVDs before they had left the older boy's room, just in case Harry didn't have any good ones. Which Liam actually doubted but he was unable to say no to the blonde boy so he literally let him stuff whatever he wanted into his bag. 

Turned out that no one had really informed Liam about how things would go down today. He wasn't really sure whether he could trust Niall when the younger boy told him that Zayn would only come later because he had another class and that Louis was already at Harry's house anyways which meant it would be alright if they left together. But then again, why would he have lied about that anyways? Plus, it's not like Liam minded if it was only the two of them, embarrassing as it was, he had found himself getting slightly annoyed whenever Niall talked to other people in his presence, like with Louis yesterday. 

They decided to walk instead of taking the bus because they had time and it was really nice, it was warm even though it was getting darker and Niall just babbled the time away, dragging Liam into some grocery store so he could buy some candy because 'Harry always gets the wrong things' and Liam nodded understandingly, just going along with it.

When they arrived at Harry's house, they were late, of course, because they had been walking really slowly and Liam kinda forgot that there was something like time when he was with Niall. Like, he hadn't thought it would be a big deal but when Harry opened the door, he seemed a little stressed out. "Where've you been? Zayn's already here too, we were about to call the police or something."

"We walked and I got some stuff to eat so I won't have starve if you burn the popcorn again." Niall explained, holding up the bag from the grocery store while Liam just nodded, he honestly didn't even know how late they really were or whether any of the others had tried to call or text him, he had forgotten about the existence of his phone too. "Anyways, why didn't you tell us this was a pajama party?"

"I'm not wearing pajamas, you want me to watch movies in my jeans? Not gonna happen, Nialler." Then he stepped away from the door, still shaking his head as Niall and Liam walked inside, maybe Harry's clothes did look a bit like pajamas, but Liam wasn't gonna point that out anyways, to be honest, he would've rather been wearing pajamas as well, why hadn't he put his sweatpants on before leaving? Right, because of Niall lying in his bed. "And I actually thought we could have pizza, but if you brought your own stuff then-"

"No, no, pizza is fine, I just brought it as backup." Niall smirked at Harry as he took his shoes off, not bothered in any way by the other boy rolling his eyes at him. "So, what movie are we watching?"

"Don't know, we've been waiting for you guys before putting anything in, Louis and Zayn are trying to decide in the living room." Hopefully Liam's DVDs weren't needed now, he kinda didn't mind what they were watching anyways, his only concern was Niall simply walking off towards the living room without a further look at Liam. Okay. "You okay, Li?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine…" Harry's face seemed worried again, it somehow seemed to be his usual look for Liam now and the other boy didn't really like that but he also couldn't help it that he got so stupidly disappointed and jealous about Niall simply leaving him here to go talk to the others instead. Like, sometimes he was acting so clingy and touchy and then all of a sudden the complete opposite, what was wrong with this boy? Couldn't he make up his mind? 

"Just checking. We were a bit worried because none of guys answered your phones." Right now this was slightly embarrassing, Liam found himself blushing as he took his shoes off, taking unnecessary long so he wouldn't have to look Harry in the face.

"Sorry about that, I… I don't know, I kinda forgot to check my phone and Niall dragged me into this store and I didn't check the time. I'm sorry." He really was, especially because now everyone was probably thinking he and Niall had been up to something or so, like who knows.

"Hey, it's fine. You're here now after all and you're alright, that's the main thing." Luckily he didn't sound mad when Liam stood up straight again, relived as he saw Harry's smile. "Come on, before Niall convinces them to watch some trash movie, his taste is horrible." 

Well, if that was true then Liam was not gonna say a word tonight because Niall had literally been excited about every single one of Liam's DVDs, meaning they had a similar taste and as happy as that had made Liam, he wasn't gonna defend Niall's movie choices in front of everyone tonight. How weird would that have been anyways?

Turned out that Harry had somehow managed to make the whole living room look different, he had moved the coffee table away and made space for pulling the couch out, it was huge now, like a big bed almost. For a moment, Liam almost panicked, but then he thought this through and realized that they still had an armchair that obviously was extendable too and also, they had mattress, thank god, would he have had to share a couch with Niall and Zayn the whole night, he would've honestly gone back to the dorms. 

"Have you decided on anything yet? We're not watching Anchorman, Niall." The blonde boy just shrugged at that, he wasn't even looking at the movies scattered on the couch with Louis and Zayn sitting on either side trying to decide, no, he was going through his bag and pulling some sweatpants out before, yes, simply starting to unzip his jeans. Time for Liam to look at something completely different or pretend he was blind. 

"I don't know, I really don't care honestly, let's just pick one, I mean, it's not that late, we could probably even watch 3 or something." Zayn got up after this, he really didn't seem to care, but he did smile as he met Liam's eyes, coming over for a second to give him a half hug. Good, because Niall was literally in his white boxer shorts over there and Liam could really need the distraction. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm good." What else could Liam have said? In the presence of everyone? He felt slightly weird for putting his bag down and looking for his own sweatpants though after Niall had already changed and taken Zayn's now empty spot, his attention luckily not on Liam while the brunette boy changed. It seemed to be ridiculous to even be slightly embarrassed, but he kinda was and it really bothered him.

"Let's watch something funny. I don't want a lame movie now, or like a horror one, maybe afterwards when it gets later, but not now. What about this?" No idea which movie he had picked, Liam was busy taking as much time as possible just so he wouldn't have to go and sit next to Niall, which was literally the only free space since Zayn had taken the armchair and Harry had of course sat down next to Louis. Honestly, what had Liam even expected? 

"Yeah, I guess that movie is fine, is everyone okay with it? Liam?" Louis quickly held the cover of the DVD up for him to see even though Liam had already been nodding before even reading the title. 22 Jump Street, he could probably handle that, it'd make Niall laugh the whole time through, that was for sure. Not an unpleasant thought though. "Good. Can you put it in, Haz? I'll go check if the pizza is ready."

"It's probably black and burned since none of you two are able to cook properly." Niall chuckled while collecting the other DVDs to make more space, not stopping when Louis playfully shoved him before getting up. "What? It's true, I can't cook either but at least I'm not pretending."

"Fine then, you won't get anything to eat, I'm good with that." Louis shrugged, maybe expecting some sort of protest now or an apology but it never came, Niall just basically seemed to think it would be a great idea to make Liam blush, now, in front of everyone.

"Liam would still share with me. Right, Li?" His smile was so sweet and his expression so excited and hopeful that Liam just stared for a few seconds before mindlessly nodding, as embarrassing as it was, he really hadn't been thinking this through. Shit, would it be awkward to leave again? "See? Too bad, Tommo."

"Whatever. Then neither of you gets anything." It was obviously a joke, but Liam did notice the look his best friend threw at him before walking off towards the kitchen, luckily Harry was busy putting the DVD in and Zayn was typing on his phone or they would've been staring at Liam as well.

"Don't worry, Payno, we got the stuff I bought if everything fails. Come here, I want you to sit next to me, I feel like we got this movie bond since I went through all your DVDs." Niall was honestly petting the space next to him after moving backwards to lean against the back of the couch, smiling encouragingly at Liam, and what could the older boy have done really? He wanted to sit next to Niall after all. 

So Liam went to crawl on the couch next to Niall, leaving a decent amount of space in between them but not too much since Harry and Louis would have to fit on the other side after all. "I don't think we're gonna need my DVDs though."

"Yeah, maybe not, I just wanted to make sure." Then he slid down a bit further on the couch, his head against the back, rolling to the side so he could still grin at Liam, their arms almost brushing in the process. Okay, Liam just needed to keep it together, after Harry and Louis had sat down he could back away even more maybe, no need to freak out. "If we watch a horror movie later, do you mind if I use you as my pillow?"

"I…" What the hell?!

"You won't have to, Nialler, I got a few pillows and blankets, there you go." Harry saved Liam by getting said items from behind the couch, purposely throwing a pillow against Niall's head, laughing over the blonde boy's slight pout. "Come on, it was an accident, I'm sorry." 

Unfortunately, Liam sat in between them now as Harry climbed on the couch as well, which meant his heart almost stopped when Niall leaned over him to smack the other boy with the pillow as well before laughing almost right into his face as Harry complained. Alright, if this carried on Liam was definitely gonna ask Niall to switch seats. "Sorry, that was an accident as well."

"We're not five anymore, Niall, get it together." True, didn't seem like Niall was very impressed by that though, he stuffed the pillow behind his back before giving Liam a tight throat as he took a second one and handed it to the older boy.

"We're in pajamas and watching movies and it's only 6 pm, I think I'm allowed to start a pillow fight." Well, he did have a point.

Harry just rolled his eyes at the comment, but he winked at Liam for whatever reason before fumbling with the remote, pressing play as soon as Louis came back with the news that he had forgotten to turn on the oven which immediately had Niall mumbling something like "Told you", only for Liam to hear though.

The movie went just like expected, they were all laughing of course, but Niall was definitely chuckling the most, over pretty much anything. Once Louis had sat down, there was less space on the couch than Liam had expected, he ended up brushing Niall's arm and thigh every five minutes or so, but he got used to it after a while, like, do that for the length of a whole movie, you can't freeze every single time. 

Sometime towards the end they also had pizza, Niall suggested that he and Liam and Zayn could share one, but he ended up eating his slices too fast so Liam told him he could have one of his too, not really having expected to get that bright of a smile and a squeeze in return.

Nothing really happened during the first movie though, Liam quite enjoyed himself actually, it's not like he hated being so close to Niall after all. After that movie though, they decided to put in another one, slightly horror whatever, Liam didn't know the title of it, he also wasn't too keen on watching it but he never said so.

For some reason, the movie seemed to make everyone really sleepy, Zayn got himself a pillow and a blanket and then seemed to fall in and out of sleep, Louis and Harry had kinda halfway moved on top of each other so Liam didn't really look over anymore to check what they were doing, they were cuddling probably, like usual.

Even Niall seemed to have gotten sleepier despite his claim that he _never_ slept in during movies. Well, he was still awake so it still counted probably, but Liam felt like he was the only one really watching, while half lying down though, just like Niall. Other than him though, Liam was still paying attention. "What just happened?"

"He killed the woman. Are you… falling asleep?" They were whispering, not that there was any need to really, the movie was really loud actually, not like they could've bothered the others with whatever they were doing.

"No, 'm not… gotta stay up and protect you in case you get scared." Liam's stomach twisted slightly at this, he wasn't scared at all, but Niall had still somehow sounded really serious. The blonde boy started moving all of a sudden, bumping into Liam a few times at his attempt to do whatever, they had turned the lights off before so it wasn't very easy to tell now.

"I'm not scared… what are you doing?" This was so weird, they were so close now and Liam didn't even know when that had happened but he also kinda didn't want to move away anymore.

"Getting the blanket." Oh. Well, maybe Niall wanted to go to sleep as well now, Liam didn't answer, he waited instead for Niall to be done, more than just surprised when the younger boy made sure to cover Liam with the blanket as well before lying back down. Okay, this was alright, no big deal, right? "That's better. That movie is really gross, don't you think? I don't like it, I'd understand if you got scared."

"Niall, I'm not scared." Liam clarified one more time, his voice sounding a bit too shaky though, not because of the movie but rather because Niall was fully lying down now, turning onto his side so that his head was right next to Liam's shoulder, touching it too, had Liam not worn a shirt, he would have felt the boy's hair tickling his skin. "You're not gonna go to sleep now, are you? You said you never sleep in during movies."

There was a chuckle, Niall shifted even more and then he really, definitely crossed the line by pressing closer into Liam, his warm body giving the older boy goosebumps. And then, as if that hadn't been enough, Niall's hand suddenly came to a rest on Liam's arm under the blanket, only lightly, but it was definitely there and it had definitely not been a mistake because he just left it there. What exactly was his deal?! "Don't worry, I'm awake. I'm not so sure about the others though, they haven't said anything in like half an hour. But who cares, right? I like watching movies with you."

"I…thanks." It was hard to talk when they were touching in so many places that it made Liam's head a bit dizzy, he really tried to concentrate on the movie now, any distraction was a good one. 

"It's true. Too bad I'm too lazy to get something to eat, I really want chocolate now. But maybe later, when the movie isn't so bloody anymore." Then they fell into a short silences, apparently both watching the movie because Niall was sometimes commenting the plot, not backing off or moving his hand in the slightest, if anything, he was pressing closer. When there was a really scary scene, Liam flinched on accident, more out of surprise than fright though, but due to the fact that Niall was so close, he felt it immediately of course. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Ni, I…" And before Liam could come up with anything smart to say, he felt like his breath was cut off as Niall rubbed his hand up and down his arm, slowly, as if to calm him down though there wasn't even a need to but he just kept going, stroking Liam's arm as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"I'm a bit freaked out now too, it's fine, at least neither of us has slept in yet." Niall's voice sounded soothing, it seemed he kinda WANTED Liam to be afraid of the movie for whatever reason, the older boy just swallowed, not answering because his brain was literally empty, no idea what was going on on the TV, all he could focus was Niall's hand still moving. What in god's name was he trying to achieve here?!

For some reason Liam was just waiting for Niall to stop stroking his arm, like he never thought the boy would push it even further, but after keeping this up for a solid five minutes, he curled a bit more into Liam, if that was even possible, his hand moving down even further the older boy's arm and then, to top it all off, he put it right over Liam's. They weren't holding hands but it was as close as it was gonna get, Liam was trying so hard not to tense up, but it was fucking hard not to when Niall had their pinky fingers link. Okay, maybe he was just tired, maybe HE was scared and needed Liam as support, that would make sense, right? Didn't mean anything, Liam didn't have to get butterflies and have an urge to cuddle closer into Niall, he could keep this cool and just not do anything. 

Turned out a bit harder than thought.

The younger boy stayed like that, for the whole rest of the movie, which was like half an hour, but it seemed a lot longer because Liam thought he would run out of breath any second now and fall unconscious. Having Niall's hand on top of his like that didn't feel bad, it's just, he didn't understand what the boy was up to and why he would be doing all of this. Like, he was literally cuddling into Liam by now, the older boy didn't even know whether he would ever be able to move again, maybe Niall had slept in, what was he supposed to do?!

To his surprise though, as soon as the credits were rolling and Liam almost lost his mind trying to figure out if it would be okay to move, he heard Louis and Harry stirring next to him, as if they had been awake the whole time. Thank god he and Niall had a blanket to cover them, like the fact that they were sharing it was bad enough, but at least no one would be able to tell they that were half holding hands here. "God, that movie was long… you guys still awake?"

"Uh, yeah." Liam hoped he sounded sleepy instead of freaked out, he was glad to hear one of his friends fumbling with the remote to turn the TV off, even more relieved when they didn't turn on the main light but rather the flashlight on one of their phones. 

"'m awake too…" Niall's voice sounded more like a breath mumbled into Liam's shirt, which was what it was actually, his hand flinched a bit against Liam's and then to make it worse, of course he pressed closer. So much about not getting sleepy during movies. 

"Okay, we'll go upstairs, yeah? Think Zayn's been passed out for over an hour now. There's a mattress and more blankets on the floor if you need them." Apparently they didn't, Liam just agreed mindlessly, feeling a bit helpless as he heard his friends getting up from the couch, using the light of one of their phones to find the stairs and leave Liam down here to deal with his 'problem' himself.

"Li?" Either Niall did not know about the mattress on the floor or he expected Liam to go, but then, wouldn't he have at least moved away? Or stopped halfway holding onto the older boy's hand?!

"Y-Yeah?" It was awfully quiet now that they were alone, and it was really dark too, Liam wouldn't be able to go to sleep like this, his brain was working way too hard and fast and he felt so distracted by being so close to Niall, he wouldn't find rest, not in this position.

"Can I stay up here with you? I'm too tired to move and you're really warm…" Awesome. Like, of course Liam WANTED to stay up here with Niall just like this and cuddle into him and be close, just, at what cost? It's not like the boy would suddenly change his mind and fall deeply in love with Liam, this was just making things even harder. Not like Liam could've done anything though, the blonde boy had him whipped and they both knew it.

"Sure…" Then Liam just wouldn't sleep, that was fine, right? Who needed rest.

"Thank you…" Niall breathed, stirring a bit but not away from Liam of course, he had sounded half asleep already and though it kinda went against everything he had told Liam, it seemed like he had fallen asleep a few minutes later, his hand grabbing onto Liam's, giving him no chance to get away or ignore the butterflies in his stomach and the knot in his throat.

Great.

 

———————

 

No idea how long Liam had been lying there staring into darkness, listening to Niall and Zayn breathing, none of them were snoring, despite what Niall had said, he was quiet for more than an hour, he barely even moved.

The older boy tried to enjoy it, it wasn't uncomfortable after all, it was warm under the blanket, Niall was pressing into him, they were almost holding hands, Liam should've enjoyed the hell out of this honestly, who knows when he'd and if he'd ever get this again. Judging by Niall's obvious need for affection, maybe sooner than thought.

Still, it was hard for Liam to close his eyes and try to sleep, and then adding up to all that, he suddenly had a really bad urge to go to the bathroom as well, like, Niall was asleep, he wouldn't notice if Liam left, but then again… the older boy somehow also didn't want to leave this position and not be able to go back to it afterwards. It's like he had an inner conflict, he wanted to move but somehow he also wanted to stay. Why was this so complicated?

After a while Liam couldn't take it anymore if he didn't want to wet himself which honestly would've been even worse. Niall's grip on him wasn't tight, it was fairly easy to pull away, physically at least, the boy just curled up in himself when Liam had sat up and moved away, hesitating for a second. Maybe he shouldn't have had such protective feelings all of a sudden, but he couldn't help wanting to tuck the boy in properly before leaving, he couldn't really see Niall's face in the darkness but he knew what he looked like asleep after all. So that's what Liam did, relieved when Niall cuddled further into the blanket, making him feel a bit better about simply leaving him here like this. Not like Niall actually needed him here anyways.

When Liam had finally found his way to the bathroom and back without turning too many lights on, he thought about going to lie back down however he wasn't sleepy enough to do so. Besides, Niall was all curled up in the blanket now and they wouldn't be cuddling anymore so there really wasn't a reason for Liam to lie back down and mindlessly stare at the dark ceiling.

Instead, he randomly decided to check what Harry's garden looked like, there was a glass door leading outside and no one had let down the blinds so Liam had it easy just walking outside on the porch, not closing the door behind him because it wasn't cold outside. Besides, how stupid would it have been had he locked himself out?

It was strangely quiet out there, Liam walked to the end of the porch, stopping there because he didn't want to go down and walk in the grass when he was barefoot. Thinking seemed to be easier here, plus it wasn't so dark anymore and he could actually breathe properly, yet still, his thoughts wandered back to Niall instantly as he stared over the garden without actually seeing anything.

Liam had no idea how he was supposed to carry on, Niall was so affectionate, even more than before, and he had no idea why, he would've expected the boy to be taken aback since he knew about his feelings. But it was almost like it motivated him to touch and cling to Liam even more. Maybe he thought it was helping the older boy? Had Liam not been so awkward and stupid in Niall's presence, he would've confronted the boy already, especially after tonight. But he knew he'd never get the courage to actually do it.

After a while of simply standing there with crossed arms, Liam decided to sit down on the edge of the porch, glad when his feet didn't reach the grass, it would've probably been cold and he really didn't want to have to get his shoes.

Somehow it was weird like, to think about that a little over a month ago, he had never heard the name Niall Horan in his life, couldn't have even guessed how much problems the blonde boy could bring. Hell, Liam had never fallen for anyone that easily as he had for Niall, the boy just had his way with words, he was so different from anyone Liam had ever met. He was funny and loud yet then he was sweet and caring and playing with kids on the playground and needing help when he got hurt. It was so hard not to like him and grow found of him, Liam knew, he had tried to resist after all and now he was in way deeper than anyone else.

Out here, it was easier to at least get a little bit sleepy, not enough as to where Liam would have wanted to go inside though, he didn't expect any of the others to wake up and find him here, he thought maybe he'd just sit here the whole night and try to figure this out. That plan kinda got a little bit destroyed.

Liam almost fell off the porch when he heard Niall's voice breaking through the peaceful silence, the boy spoke rather quietly and calm, but it was still a shock to randomly hear him speaking, almost causing Liam to break his neck with how quickly he turned around. "Li?"

"Damn, you scared me…" The boy was still half inside, Liam couldn't really see his face but he seemed to be sleepy, his hair all messed up as he stepped outside, rubbing at his eye a little. Incredible how he could look so cuddly and soft and then during the day like the most attractive guy Liam had ever met. 

"'m sorry. Didn't mean to. What're you doing out here? I woke up and you weren't there." It almost sounded a bit sad but that was probably just a product of Liam's fantasy, he did feel a bit bad though all of a sudden.

"I couldn't sleep, I… I was hoping maybe I'd get more tired out here." Or rather, be able to think more clearly without having the blonde boy pressed into him.

Niall hesitated for a second before slowly coming closer, his sweatpants had slipped down but he didn't bother to pull them up, either not noticing or not caring whether Liam could see his white boxer shorts. "Oh. Do you mind if I keep you company?"

"No, I… I don't, it's fine." He really didn't right now, he wasn't gonna come to a conclusion anyways, probably also wouldn't get tired enough to sleep any time soon so Liam turned back around, waiting for the blonde boy to get down next to him. Even the air he moved while getting down was enough for Liam to smell the boy's cologne and get goosebumps, he really needed to get it together.

"It's really warm, I wouldn't have thought that. And a bit creepy." Niall was sitting too close, their thighs almost brushing once more, but honestly, Liam wasn't even surprised anymore.

"Are you scared?" He teased slightly, thinking of how many times Niall had asked him that question before and the younger boy laughed a bit, letting his head drop onto Liam's shoulder out of nowhere. He should've seen that coming, honestly.

"No, I know you'd protect me." The thing was, Niall didn't even sound like he had been joking, he said it just like that, easily, as if he really trusted Liam, as if the other presence really helped him to be more calm. What if it did?

They sat like that for a while, Liam would definitely not get tired like this but he still found the situation to be a slight upgrade, at least Niall wasn't gonna sleep in like this and leave him with the same problem as before. This time he just got to slightly enjoy the weight of the boy's head on his shoulder, how close they were, how Niall always seemed to somehow find a new reason as to why they needed to be close. Amazing.

"Hey, Liam…" The slight change in his voice should've maybe made Liam think, but he was plainly staring at a bush in Harry's garden, trying to stop himself from wrapping an arm around Niall's waist.

"Yeah?" No idea what he thought what this was gonna be about, actually, Liam wasn't thinking much except for that he could've easily let his cheek rest against Niall head right now and come off as completely normal.

"I… there's something I wanted to talk to you about. But I… didn't know how or when, so…" Oh god, what was this gonna be? Liam felt himself tensing up immediately, it couldn't mean anything good when Niall talked like this.

"Um… sure. What is it?" Well, it definitely couldn't be that Niall couldn't handle Liam being in love with him, like… he wouldn't be so touchy feely otherwise, right? Like, he still had his head only Liam's shoulder while talking, very obviously not feeling uncomfortable when they were this close. Maybe it was something private.

"Well… you know after we had that talk a week ago… or that fight, whatever… um… I've been thinking, and… and I know this must be hard for you and all because… because you _like_ me… right?" Um, why did he want confirmation?!

"Y-Yeah…" Liam felt really awkward answering this, who the hell wanted to talk about the person they liked WITH the person they liked?! And anyways, why did Niall need to know that anyways, he almost sounded unsure and nervous now, that didn't even fit to him. "…why?"

"Just asking, I… you know, I know you haven't been feeling well and I'm so sorry about… about what I said last week and I know it really hurt you because… well, I know you made yourself hopes that… and whenever I saw you around campus you looked really beaten down and I hated it but I didn't know how to talk to you and…" The he randomly broke off, taking a deep breath while Liam's heart was about to jump out of his chest. What the hell was the purpose of this conversation?! He already knew all of that. "And then I saw you hanging out with… you know, this guy from your journalism class and I… it bothered me and I… I'm sorry. I'm sorry about whatever I said, Li, and I'm sorry if it's hurting you when I'm being so affectionate all the time, I just…" 

"Niall, what… what's going on?" Had he just admitted that he had been _jealous_?! That would at least explain all these questions. Liam didn't even know what to think anymore, he really didn't get what Niall was trying to tell him now, all he knew was that the boy was biting his bottom when he finally lifted his head off of the older boy's shoulder, seemingly nervous. "Niall?"

"I-I…" Why was he so damn nervous?! This didn't seem very much like Niall at all, Liam was literally so damn confused, he forgot to flinch when the younger boy suddenly reached out, their eyes still locked, thighs pressing together by now, and then Niall just ran his fingers through Liam's messy hair. "I… wanted to … tell you something."

"What?" Liam was aware that his voice had almost broken away, he wasn't even sure if Niall had heard him, all he could think of now was Niall's soft, pink lips right in front of him and the blonde's nails lightly scratching his scalp down the back of his head before he moved his hand to cup Liam's cheek ever so gently, thumb swiping over his skin. "Niall…"

The younger boy didn't say a word, for a moment they just stared at each other and Liam couldn't think properly, couldn't move, nothing, all he could think of was that this was definitely a dream, this couldn't be happening right now, Niall couldn't be cupping his face like this and be a leaning in, letting his eyes flatter closed, tilting his head slightly. He couldn't be about to kiss Liam, not here, not now, not after everything that had happened.

But he did and there was nothing Liam did to prevent it, he just sat there, not knowing anything except for the fact that it was like fireworks exploding in his head when Niall's soft lips were pressed against his once more.


	8. Chapter 8

Kissing Niall sober was honestly the best feeling in the world, Liam wasn't able to grasp a single thought while the blonde boy's lips were pressed up against his, their thighs pressing together, Niall's slightly rough palm still against his cheek as the boy leaned in, kissing harder when there was no protest from Liam's side.

For a moment or two, the older boy let himself be lost in the kiss, allowed himself to enjoy it and lock away every argument about why this was wrong. All he knew was that it felt wonderful, that Niall's lips were even softer than in his memory and that he never wanted it to stop or pull away, that he wanted to give in and relax his jaw as he felt the other boy's tongue softly moving over his bottom lip.

Unfortunately though, that was also when Liam found his last sense of sanity again.

Immediately after he had been about to part his lips, Liam pulled away in shock, causing Niall's hand to slip from his face as he moved back, staring at the younger boy in shock as he breathed out harshly, trying to catch his breath. What the fuck?!

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Liam couldn't even yell, one, his lunges didn't have enough air for that and two, he couldn't wake the others up now to find them like this because… how would they have explained that?!

"I…" For some reason, Niall seemed equally surprised by his actions, he was simply breathing a bit harder while staring at Liam with wide eyes, shaking his head slightly as if to get rid of something. "I'm sorry."

"You're _sorry_?" Liam couldn't believe it, this was all he got, after the boy who claimed didn't like or hook up with guys, the boy who had told Liam he had only done anything with him because he had been drunk, after that boy had just randomly kissed him while they had both been more than just sober! This was too much. "You're fucking insane. Why did you do that?! You know I like you, are you enjoying that? That I feel like shit all the fucking time?!"

"No, Liam, I…" He was obviously fighting for words for once while Liam was the one who couldn't stop talking, or complaining more like, it's just, it wouldn't go into his head that they had just kissed, but his lips were still tingling and he could still taste Niall and just for once, Liam couldn't help but burst out with his thoughts.

"Never _ever_ do that again, alright? You have to stop touching me all the time and hugging me and _kissing_ my forehead and almost holding my hand, I don't know why you would even think of doing that but it's not helping me, alright? Just stay away." And with that, Liam got up, he didn't know where he planned on going seeing as there were only so many places as an option, all he knew was that Niall's face had fallen at his words, that it seemed like the blonde boy hadn't even gotten a single thing Liam had just tried to make him understand.

"No, Liam, wait, I… I can explain." How was he gonna explain that?! Did he really think Liam enjoyed being one out of 100? Or the fact that Niall was most likely doing this out of fucking pity? "Please, just… just let me say something."

"And how exactly are you gonna explain that?" Though he was more than angry and worked up, Liam did kinda want to know what was going on so he stopped and turned around, a bit surprised when he saw Niall standing there, looking down instead of into Liam's face, he was obviously nervous, playing with his fingers like usually only the older boy did. This was gonna be interesting.

Or maybe not. "I… I'm not gay."

"Thanks for that information, Niall, I would't have guessed." Was he making fun of Liam now? Well, Liam wasn't gonna stand here just to find out Niall was having a laugh with this, he was definitely not gonna forgive this boy one more time, now Louis could really kick his ass all he wanted. "I'm gonna go back to the dorms now."

"No! No, don't, wait, that's not… fuck. That's not what I wanted to say, okay? I'm sorry!" Niall seemed desperate, he immediately stepped forward to grab onto Liam's wrist, with both of his hands, a more than desperate look on his face that did get Liam a bit confused, but he was too upset and disappointed in the boy as to pay much attention. "I mean it's true, but…"

"Just let it go, Niall, I-"

"No. No I won't because I…" Then he swallowed very visibly, quickly looking away from Liam's face once more, not letting go of his wrist though, burning the older boy's skin with his desperate grip. "I really like you, okay? I really wanted to kiss you and I didn't to it to make fun of you or whatever, I… I didn't plan on hooking up with you at the party but I… I did plan this."

"Why? Haven't you kissed and fucked over enough people yet? Why me?! I thought we were friends." Liam had lowered his voice now, terrified of the others waking up, but he made sure to let his words come out harsh, kinda satisfied when he saw Niall flinching. A part in him though wanted to cry, he couldn't believe that Niall would do this to him after everything, after he had been so sweet and caring, why did it always backfire when Liam gave him a chance?!

"We are friends, okay? We are, and I would never fuck you over, never, I like spending time with you too much, I… I like _you_ too much." He almost seemed to be embarrassed now, Liam couldn't tell in the darkness but it almost seemed as if Niall was blushing, which would have been ridiculous, the boy was never embarrassed about anything! 

"Then why would you do this to me?" Instead of trying to fight against Niall's grip around his wrist, Liam let his arm go limp, kinda surprised when the blonde boy just kept holding on, sighing a bit but not looking up, giving Liam the chance to just dead on stare at him. Why did he seem to be so devastated and nervous? It looked like his lip was gonna start bleeding soon if he bit down even harder.

"I… I felt bad, okay? I felt bad for you for the whole damn week and then suddenly… suddenly I started missing you too and I was confused and I saw you with this guy from your journalism class and then his friends and I got jealous and I just wanted you back, alright? I really am sorry about what happened at the party but I… I don't regret it. It wasn't bad or anything, just… " He did look up at this, his facial expression almost pleading as he carefully let go of Liam's wrist, instead squeezing his hand now. "I usually don't hook up with people who mean anything to me. Or kiss them."

"So you kissed me out of pity? Niall, I don't need you to do that, we can be friends, I'll get over it, I just-"

"No. No, I don't want you to get over it, I… " Then he blew out a breath and Liam was getting more confused for a second, he even forget to be angry right now or get goosebumps because of the fact that they were yet again holding hands. But he did remember to get wide eyes at what Niall admitted then. "I really fancy you."

" _What_?!" So he had randomly figured that out? Was he lying to Liam to make him feel better because that seemed a lot more likely.

"Yeah, I… I do, alright? I do and every time I try to tell myself I don't you come up with that stupid face of yours and mess it all up." Wait… what the hell? Was Niall _angry_ now?! And what was that even supposed to mean? "Look, Liam… I'm not gay and I don't like boys but I… I really like _you_ and it's honestly scaring the crap out of me but I tried to ignore it and I can't, I really did wanna kiss you and I… I still wanna do it. I just like being close to you, alright? I don't wanna stop doing that and I know you like me and I thought maybe we could, you know…sometimes, like…"

Niall stopped talking there, maybe because Liam's jaw had dropped as he tried to process this but didn't manage to because… Niall liked him? Fancied him? How was that even possible, this was too good to be true. And now he was offering Liam… what? That they could kiss and hold hands or whatever just because Niall thought he maybe liked Liam a bit more? Or did he mean hooking up?! Had he just asked Liam to be his fuck buddy?! No, he couldn't allow that, no matter how badly he wanted to smash their lips back together, Liam needed to stop this before it escalated. "No, Niall, I… I won't be one out of god knows how many, I won't… kiss you and then watch you kissing other people the next day, you really gotta ask someone else for that, I'm not like… like these girls or whoever, I won't-"

"No. No, that's not what I mean, Li, I… I wouldn't kiss anyone but you." Admitting that seemed to have been hard for Niall, he swallowed again, looking down at their hands because they still hadn't let go and Liam had forgotten about it in all honesty, this was just too much to handle.

"Fine, then I also don't want to share you with other people in case you'll hook up with them." That was maybe even worse, did Niall honestly think Liam was gonna agree to… this? His heart might have been bumping a bit too fast at the thought of Niall fancying him but… he rather wanted nothing than just half of the boy. 

This time, Niall actually almost seemed like he might get impatient with Liam, the older boy almost thought he was gonna roll his eyes now, but his cheeks seemed to be a bit too red for that so he only sighed, suddenly rubbing his thumb over the back of Liam's hand. "That's also not what I meant either. I know you wouldn't do that and I… I also wouldn't want that. What I meant was that… I wouldn't _touch_ anyone but you."

Oh. Well, this was slightly different. Liam felt like he wasn't even himself as he opened his mouth, he literally couldn't think clearly anymore, not when Niall was looking at him in this way, with these eyes, impossible. "So… a relationship."

"No, it's not a relationship." Niall almost sounded like a grumpy child and Liam was hurt for a second before he thought about it again briefly, honestly not getting the point where this differed from a relationship.

"But you like me? And you don't wanna do anything with anyone else?" There was hope growing in Liam that was impossible to ignore, he just couldn't help himself, like, who would've ever thought that this could happen?!

"Yeah, I like you and no, I don't wanna do anything with anyone else, I… ever since the party and that… girl a day after I… I haven't even thought about anyone else but you. Or been with them." Shrugging a bit, Niall's eyes wandered down to Liam's lips before he stared at his feet, he was so clearly embarrassed that Liam could have almost started laughing had this situation not been so ridiculous. They were in Harry's garden for crying out loud, holding hands while having the weirdest conversation in the whole entire world.

"And you got jealous when I was with other people." Just to get that confirmed one more time, Liam just wanted to hear it once more, he almost caught himself smiling as Niall nodded a tiny bit.

"Yeah…" Wow, never EVER would Liam have thought he'd manage to cause Niall to run out of words and be shy, have the boy that was usually talking nonstop running out of things to say.

"That's a relationship." Liam clarified because what else was this?! If they liked each other and didn't do anything with other people, what did Niall want to call it?

"No, it's not." The younger boy was really stubborn all of a sudden, he was clearly uncomfortable now and Liam felt a bit bad, despite his euphoria he didn't want to push things or force anything onto Niall, he really cared about him after all and damn… he really wanted to have whatever Niall was offering here, as strange as it seemed. God, what would the others say to that should they ever find out? "I… it's not because I'm not gay."

"Me neither." Niall did look up at this, surprised, but then he shook his head shortly, furrowing his eyebrows a bit under Liam's stare.

"I'm also not bi, I… I just like you, okay? And if you say yes then… we can't tell anybody, okay? Not even the others." Okay, alright, this was a bit strange, but before Liam could protest Niall squeezed his hand really tightly, he didn't seem like he was embarrassed of Liam or whatever, he rather seemed like he was terrified of something.

"Okay, but… if we don't tell anyone then we can call it a relationship between the two of us, right?" A secret one. But Liam would be able to keep his mouth shut, right? If he got Niall all to himself in return, plus he was sure that the blonde boy would eventually be alright with telling the others, he had also told Zayn that he and Liam had hooked up. 

"Why do you wanna call it that so badly?" Niall almost seemed annoyed now and Liam would have blushed if he hadn't felt so full of hope and so excited all of a sudden, he really had no idea what Niall's problem was with putting a label on it when it had been HIM who had offered it.

"I like being in relationships." It was true, though Liam had been single for quite a while now, that didn't change the fact that he liked feeling needed and having someone there he knew he could count on 100%, sure he had his friends but this was different. Plus it was Niall and Liam wanted to make sure the boy belonged to him only in whatever way possible. Which was not what he said obviously, no need to come off as a clingy creeper.

For a second or so, Liam almost thought Niall would say no, they stared at each other for a bit, still holding hands before Niall carefully reached out for Liam's second one as well, making him smile a bit as he sighed. "Fine… okay, whatever, just… let's not tell anyone, yeah? It's just for us."

"So I can call you my boyfriend if I want to?" Just checking, Liam did notice Niall flinching a bit at the word, but he couldn't help but grin at the younger boy when he gave up all his protest and just nodded, returning the smile, but only slightly, his hands still clenched around Liam's rather tightly. 

"If you… want to." Holy shit, Liam couldn't believe this was happening. What if he had slept in after all? And woke up to find out it had been a dream? But this felt too real, Niall's hands around his, the blonde's face right in front of his, the way he stepped a bit closer all of a sudden.

"So then if I want to … can I also kiss you?" Liam decided that it was the best to use his sudden courage before it would leave him again, he knew he'd wake up tomorrow questioning his whole life, but right now he was holding hands with Niall on Harry's porch and the younger boy had admitted that he liked Liam back and there was nothing that could ruin this moment for Liam. 

"I guess that'd be alright." Then Niall smiled his crooked smile and Liam's knees got a bit softer, he didn't care about consequences, he just wanted his mouth on top of Niall's pink lips and so that's what he did.

Niall pulled his hands out of Liam's a few seconds into the kiss, moving them up the boy's arms and shoulders until finally wrapping them around his neck tightly, letting out a sigh against Liam's mouth as he slowly parted his lips. 

It was amazing really, how much more intense this could feel when Liam's mind was all clear, his hands somehow found their own way to the boy's small hips, holding on tightly as Niall pulled himself even closer into Liam's space until they were pressed up against one another without a centimeter of distance between them.

Of course Liam still had a few memories of that night they had hooked up, he had also made out with other people before Niall but it still felt like the very first time of ever kissing anyone with tongue as Niall slipped his into Liam's mouth, hot and wet and the older boy felt Niall's shirt scrunching up in his hands as he gripped him tighter.

Kissing Niall like this, feeling him everywhere and tasting him in his mouth, their tongues moving in perfect sync as if they had done this a hundred times before, hell, Liam wanted to do this more often than just that, he never wanted to stop kissing the blonde boy ever again. Which, of course, would've been a lot easier had they not run out of breath after a while, but they did, unfortunately. 

"Shit… I like you so much…" Had Liam not already had enough goosebumps, he would've surely gotten them as they pressed their foreheads together and Niall breathed out against his spit slicked lips, pulling a bit at the hair in the back of Liam's neck, softly though, his breathing going heavy. 

"I… I like you too…" More than that, Liam felt a bit dizzy now, he still had his eyes closed, wanting to pull Niall even closer though that was barely possible, he was almost scared he was hurting the boy by how tight he was holding on, his fingers digging into the blonde boy's skin. "Ni…"

"Yes?" He pecked Liam's mouth once more, it felt swollen now but in a good way, had they not just been snogging for god knows how long, Liam wouldn't have let the boy pull back again. 

"This… this is real, right? You really… you meant all of it?" Well, considering how desperately Niall clung to Liam now, their breath still mixing and foreheads touching, it seemed to be a ridiculous thing to think that maybe Niall had been lying. 

"I do, Li… I wouldn't lie and I swear… I swear I meant everything I said, okay?Promise…" His genuine voice despite his slight panting had Liam calming down immediately, he hadn't been too worried, but it was still nice to hear, he'd never get enough of having Niall confirm how much he liked Liam, even if it still sounded rather like a product of his imagination, but it couldn't be, right?

"Okay… I-"

And then Liam got interrupted by Niall turning his head away all of a sudden, confusing him only for a moment as he let go with one hand to cover his mouth as he yawned and Liam couldn't help but chuckle a bit, loosing his grip on the blonde boy's hips a little. "Sorry, I'm really tired."

"It's fine, Ni, you wanna go back to bed?" Or rather the couch, Liam suddenly didn't mind anymore lying awake the whole night with Niall pressed tightly into his side, actually, that idea seemed to be a rather good one. 

"If you don't mind." He was smiling now, getting Liam to blush slightly because of that fond look in his eyes, he still felt slightly on a high but now that Niall was his smily, cheeky self again, it also turned Liam's brain slightly less useful. "Come on."

Before the older boy could respond, Niall had already pressed a kiss onto his rather hot cheek, catching Liam's hand off his hip to hold it in his. God, it felt so nice to hold his hand like that, and not having to let go again soon, with no one around they'd have to hide this from for now. Liam would worry about that detail again once it was time.

They tried to be quiet while walking back inside, but Niall was giggling a bit too much to stop Liam from having to chuckle a bit as well, it's just, he felt really light now, and carefree with Niall's hand in his. That'd probably have slightly passed by tomorrow, but for now, Liam just wanted to enjoy the moment. 

Zayn was still fast asleep, something Liam hadn't been too worried about though because he knew his friend was a tight sleeper. His bigger problem was more the fact that he wasn't quite sure about where they should both lie down now even if Niall was very clearly pulling him to the couch, not letting go of his hand until they had both sat down. "You think we should, um… that one of us should sleep on the mattress?"

"Hmm… no. We were gonna sleep on here before as well, right? It's fine." They were whispering, but Niall seemed pretty sure about what he wanted nevertheless, it was too dark for Liam to properly see Niall's face now, but he could very well feel the boy's lips on his as he leaned in shortly, pecking Liam's mouth before giggling right against his skin. God, he was gonna kill Liam or something. 

"Maybe we should like… keep some distance." Liam didn't know why he would say that honestly, he did mean it though even if it was the last thing he wanted, he was just like, trying to show Niall that he really did take this seriously. Honestly, he didn't need to tell anyone about them if only he got Niall to himself. 

"How much distance?" Niall seemed very unsure about this and the older boy almost took it back, but then he thought about how much of a bad liar he was and that he'd probably give it all away should anyone ever ask a question. Which they definitely would if they found them all tangled up on the couch together.

"I don't know, like…" Making sure to untangle the blanket and be as quiet as possible, Liam lied down on his side, leaving enough space for Niall to do the same without them having to squeeze together too much. "Like this?"

"Liam…" And then the blonde boy let out a short laugh that gave Liam goosebumps and caused Zayn to shift a bit, not waking up though. "Turn around."

"What? Why?" Did Niall want them to sleep with their backs turned to each other?!

"Do it, come on." The younger boy pushed his shoulder playfully, Liam could barely see his smile but it was definitely there so he did what he had been told, a little worried actually because well… he thought they'd at least talk a little longer before going to sleep. Or attempting to.

"What're you doing?" Instead of simply getting under the other half of the blanket and lying down, Niall was shifting around a bit too much for that, Liam was about to turn around again and check when he suddenly tensed up a bit instead, holding his breath for a second. Niall had simply wrapped his arm around the older boy's waist, pulling himself so close that he was literally pressed up against Liam's back, giggling into his ear and giving him a million goosebumps. "Do you think that's a good id-"

"Shh." Was all Niall made before pressing a kiss right onto Liam's ear, his hand finding Liam's, intertwining their fingers while he whispered. "If anyone asks tomorrow, I just moved in my sleep and mistook you for my pillow."

"That… that sounds really unbelievable." It did, honestly, Liam knew that if they didn't wake up before the others, they'd be in big trouble trying to explain this. Then again though, he was not the one who was gonna tell Niall to back off and stop cuddling him like this, it felt way too good and comfortable, he actually never wanted to go to sleep in any other position. Well, maybe… "Why am I the little spoon though? I'm bigger than you."

"Because you're so cute and I know you're blushed like hell right now." That was more than true, even more now when Niall laughed again, softly, squeezing Liam's fingers as he placed another kiss, this time on the back of Liam's neck, leaving his lips there for a moment. "You wanna have breakfast with me tomorrow?"

"What about… what about the others?" Did Niall just plan on taking off and leaving them behind? It seemed quite like it.

"I'll think of an excuse. If you want to, I mean." Of course Liam wanted to, hell, didn't Niall know he wanted to do absolutely everything with him?

"I really want to…" Speaking while Niall was constantly breathing out and pressing his lips against Liam's bare skin was a bit hard, but luckily they had to whisper anyways so at least his voice couldn't shake too much. 

"Okay, good… can I have a goodnight kiss?" Niall didn't have to ask twice, he chuckled again, probably about how fast the older boy turned his head to peck Niall on the lips once more, kissing him a bit longer and deeper than maybe appropriate for the situation, but Niall didn't protest and he kissed back just as eagerly so Liam figured it was alright to get lost in the kiss for a bit.

He'd definitely be able to get used to that.

 

——————

 

Liam woke up before anyone else the next day, maybe because he had been so excited and because so much seemed to have happened that he just couldn't manage to sleep for very long. Or maybe it was because he wasn't used to sleeping this close to anybody, it had been different after the party, but now Niall was literally draped all over him, having moved in his sleep, the boy was clinging to him now, his leg in between Liam's, face smushed into the back of his neck and of course his arm still wrapped around Liam's waist, even their fingers were still intertwined.

For a while, Liam just kept on lying there, not moving and just listening to Niall's breathing, actually enjoying the slight jumps his stomach did whenever he felt the boy's hot breath against his bare skin. And Niall's chest pressed up so tightly against his back, the feeling of their fingers locked, just in general, being aware of how it felt like to be touching in so many places at once. It was honestly amazing. 

Still, after a while Liam started to worry about what would happen if Zayn woke up or the other two came downstairs so he carefully tried to unwrap the blonde boy from around him which turned out a bit harder than expected. Niall moved a lot and he held onto Liam, letting a few sounds of displeasure escape that Liam felt in the pit of his stomach yet he knew they couldn't just stay in this position, he wouldn't be able to keep this a secret if he'd be confronted with it like that. Which was a really big problem actually, now that Liam thought about it.

Sure, waking up like this had first of all given him relief, that it had definitely not been a dream, that Niall did somehow like him in whatever way, as impossible as it seemed to be. But then finally being able to think about it more clearly, Liam was more than confused. Like, of course, a few things suddenly did make sense, but… why did Niall want to keep this a secret so badly? Was he scared what people might say if they found out he was dating a guy? Or was it personal, because he didn't want anyone to know it was Liam?

The longer Liam thought about this while staring at Niall's peaceful face the more confused did he get. Nothing made any sense to him, he didn't even know why the blonde boy would like him, or since when he liked Liam or why he had thought it'd be a good idea to randomly kiss him. Then again though, did it matter? The thing about them keeping it a secret was slightly weird, yeah, but Niall had promised he wasn't gonna touch anybody else, that he just wanted Liam, and what would the purpose be of lying about that? It wouldn't make any sense so Liam had no choice really but to go with it.

This was what he wanted after all, like, he didn't want to have to keep it from any of his friends but if Niall was scared of telling anybody, he'd be able to accept that, they could talk about it after all and then Niall would surely change his mind, right? Liam felt bad thinking that he might have to lie to the others yet again, but at the same time he didn't want to ruin this just because he was too insensitive to understand that Niall was scared. Because that was the reason, right? He was scared of what people might say and honestly, maybe Liam was slightly scared of that as well.

Honestly, it was worth keeping it a secret if he got Niall all to himself in return, he maybe not be able hold the boy's hand in public or be too close, but he very well could so in private and just the thought of that had Liam's heart flattering. 

No one woke up for a while so Liam used the chance to just stare down at Niall, which was easy now that he was on his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows, still under the same blanket, trying not to worry too much about anything except for the fact that for the first time of him being here, he actually felt like things were going to be okay. 

When he couldn't keep himself together anymore, Liam hesitated for a second before leaning down, only barely brushing his lips over the younger boy's cheek, feeling his skin tingle a bit from the warm touch. Who would've thought though, that Niall really had that light of a sleep.

"Hmm… what're you doin'?" His voice was deeper when he was still half asleep, and a bit raspy, almost giving Liam a heart attack as he thought about that combined with the fact that maybe Niall couldn't remember last night. Maybe he had changed his mind, maybe- "Li? Where are you?"

"I'm right here…" Well, that hadn't sounded like Niall had forgotten anything about last night, the boy hadn't opened his eyes yet but he blindly petted along the couch with his hand before he found Liam's arm, immediately grabbing a hold of him to pull himself closer. As if they hadn't been close enough, Liam had simply made sure to untangle them, he hadn't exactly brought any distance between them, but the fact that Niall seemed to want to be closer had his heart aching a bit. 

Pulling back slightly, Liam felt himself blushing a bit as he thought about last night, he surely wouldn't be able to act so carefree anymore today, especially not when Niall was being like this, so clingy and snuggly. Not that that was a bad thing, just… Liam really liked the boy and he didn't wanna do anything wrong or embarrass himself. "How long have you been awake? I'm so tired…"

"Not that long…" Liam mumbled, watching as the younger boy yawned a bit before blinking his eyes open slowly, a smile forming on his face before he was even fully awake, immediately causing the older boy's cheeks to heat up slightly. Awesome, now that all the shock had washed away, Liam was his old self, the one who could barely take a nice gesture from Niall without flushing like a fucking idiot. "Uh… how'd you sleep?"

"Good. Would've been better if I had woken up the same way too, why'd you move away, the others aren't awake, are they?" Probably not, Liam hadn't checked the clock, but judging by the weak light coming from outside through the windows and glass door, it couldn't have been that late. 

"I don't know… I was thinking what I'd say if they came downstairs and saw us like… this. And I… I didn't know what I'd do, so… "He wasn't looking at Niall while talking, it was still kinda hard to do so for some reason, but he could very well feel the boy's hand on his arm, his thumb brushing lightly over Liam's skin, not helping with the redness. 

"Liam… don't be so nervous, it's fine. It really is, okay? What I said last night… I really meant it, I really like you and I want us to be together and I know that I'm asking a lot when I want us to not tell the others or anyone else, just… I don't know how anyone would react and I… I don't want this to ruin what we could have had before it even started." Yeah, that kinda made sense now did it? If everyone would be against them then Liam didn't know how Niall would react, he didn't want to lose the boy just because he was being so pushy, they didn't need to tell anyone, it was just for them and somehow…somehow that was a little exciting too. "Are you okay? You want this too, right? And you'd tell me if I did anything you don't want me to?" 

"Yeah I… of course I want it, Niall, you know that… I wanted this before you, remember?" Letting out a bit of a forced laugh, Liam regretted accidentally meeting the younger boy's eyes because the smile had disappeared, he seemed really worried actually, propping himself up on his elbow to be more at Liam's height. Why did he have to look so attractive after waking up?!

"I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it to myself, I… " Then he randomly broke off, his hand moving up Liam's arm now, playing a bit with the sleeve of his shirt before slipping his hand underneath, giving Liam goosebumps at the feeling of Niall's fingers caressing his skin. "I liked you after the first time we hung out, if I didn't… I wouldn't have hooked up with you, just so you know, it wasn't on purpose but you know what they say, right? About saying the truth when you're drunk and doing what you actually wanna do? I was trying to be extra nice because you're Louis' and Zayn's best friend, but I… I kept going because I wanted to." 

Damn, if that was true then Liam would probably not be able to stop himself from over analyzing every single one of Niall's words and acts of the past month, he couldn't believe this, hell, he hadn't even really admitted to himself that he liked the boy before the party. It seemed pretty damn impossible that Niall had felt much the same. "But… why'd you even like me anyways?"

"Oh, Liam." Instead of an answer, Liam just got a chuckle from the younger boy before he pulled his hand out from under his shirt, instead moving it to cup the back of Liam's head, almost forcing him to look at him. "Why the hell would I not like you?"

"I… that doesn't answer the-"

"Li. Trust me, yeah? I like you, a lot, I like how blushed you always get and how much you enjoy it when I kiss you and how you always listen so closely whenever I tell you the most random things about my life. And I like how fucking sweet and caring you are. And how much I can make you laugh. Do you want me to carry on?" Yeah, Liam kinda did want Niall to carry on, but on the other hand he was blushed like crazy and he couldn't even bring himself to turn his head away because Niall was still cradling it, smiling at him in the softest way possible. "Or is it okay if I kiss you now?"

"I-I… it's okay if you, um… kiss me now." Wow, now how stupid could Liam actually sound? Like, it's not as if Niall seemed to care because he chuckled again, pulling Liam's head down closer to his as he slowly lied back down on his back.

"Good. Because I really want to." And that seemed to be the truth because barely five seconds later, Niall's fingers had curled themselves into Liam's hair, his eyes falling closed as he pulled the older boy even closer and Liam couldn't help but let out a sigh in relief as their lips met. 

It was so good to kiss him like that, sure, Liam almost panicked for a second or two because he remembered that he hadn't brushed his teeth, but neither had Niall and the boy didn't seem to mind one bit as he nudged the older boy's lips apart, quickly slipping his tongue inside. 

For some reason, Liam was a bit shy when it came to touching Niall, the blonde boy's hands were all over him in return, his hair, his arms, his face, making Liam's head feel even dizzier than he already felt from the long, warm strokes of Niall's tongue and their lips meeting again and again. It was only after a while, after they had almost both run out of breath and needed a second to fill their lunges with air, that Liam was brave enough to cup Niall's cheek in his hand, tenderly and ever so slowly rubbing his thumb over the boy's skin while Niall was panting against his lips. "Keep… keep doing that…"

"What…?" His mouth was brushing Niall's when they talked, whispering now, which they maybe should've done the whole time because obviously Zayn was still sleeping right next to them, luckily not having woken up to the two of them snogging on the couch right next to him. 

"Touching my cheek… I like that." And before Liam could think about the fact that he was kinda still automatically rubbing his thumb over the boy's skin, Niall had pulled him down yet again for another kiss. 

It didn't last as long as the first time, mostly because they couldn't stay without air for so long, Liam really wished they could've just been lying there forever, him half on top of Niall, their chests pressed against one another, Liam even thought he could feel the boy's heart hammering against his. 

When they pulled apart, Niall was smiling, his lips were swollen and shiny with spit, but he looked so wonderful like this, his head pressed back against the pillow, one arm draped around Liam's shoulders, his hand stroking the hair out of the older boy's forehead. "You know… I wouldn't mind if we'd be doing this every morning."

"Yeah… me neither…" He really wouldn't, Liam knew that they wouldn't be able to spend a lot of nights together, apart from the fact that he didn't even know whether Niall would want to, they also couldn't really when Louis and Niall were sharing a room. Then again… it's not like Liam enjoyed thinking about this now but it's not like Niall had usually spent every night in his room, right?

"Hmm… you know we could either… kiss some more and hope the others won't get up in a really long time or… or we get our clothes on and leave before anyone else even notices and I'll buy you breakfast." He wanted to just leave? Without telling anybody? Hell, Liam knew that this wasn't exactly the nicest way to avoid talking themselves out of why they couldn't stay longer, but then again… they would've probably left after waking up anyways, he just felt a bit bad for Zayn, because he'd have to go back to the dorms alone since Louis would probably stay for a while, but… Liam couldn't say no to these eyes and this smile.

"I… you don't have to pay for me." Was literally all he could think of, Niall's fingers still brushing through his hair, his smile widening a bit as he pulled himself up with his arm around Liam's shoulders, pecking his mouth.

"I want to though. I still owe you, remember?" Liam wished he didn't but he nodded anyways, knowing that there was no use in trying to talk Niall out of it, not when he was in such a good mood, who was Liam to ruin that?

They got dressed as quietly as possible, the older boy's cheeks burning a bit from having Niall searching for his clothes in only boxer shorts on before he remembered that them being together meant they could actually recreate the night of the party, sober. Now his face felt like it was on fucking fire.

Niall chuckled a bit over the fact that Liam insisted on folding the blanket and leaving a note with an excuse, but then he kissed the older boy's cheek and told him he was cute, causing Liam to misspell every word at least two times. But that would be the polite thing to do, wasn't it? Liam planned on texting them too later, just so no one would get suspicious, even if Niall rolled his eyes a bit, smirking before intertwining their fingers as he pulled Liam to the door. 

The brunette boy did feel slightly bad for randomly leaving when it was only 8:30 am, but for some reason, that feeling faded as soon as Niall announced that since they had the day off and he had nothing to do he and Liam could just hang out all day long and, in his words, preferably in Liam's room so no one would be watching them. Honestly, there was no thing Liam could've thought of to make this day any better.

 

—————

 

"Have the others texted you again?" Niall was clearly trying to distract Liam from studying, had been for the past hour and the older boy couldn't even get mad at him because the boy was smiling every time their eyes met and he was always randomly touching Liam, not exactly helping him to even remember one single word of the pages he was reading. 

"Yeah… Louis texted me but it was nothing about us leaving. I don't think they really thought anything of it." Obviously they had simply bought Liam's lie, although, it hadn't really been a lie because he had simply written that Niall had remembered that he needed to study and Liam had promised to help him. And they were studying right now after all, maybe Niall not so much, but that didn't change the fact that he should have been. 

"Good. I felt a bit bad but I'm pretty sure they were actually glad that we were gone already, we all know Louis wants to spend his days off exclusively with Harry." True, plus Zayn had probably left really early as well and it was already in the evening now so Liam had calmed down about it pretty much. Besides, he had just spent his whole day with Niall and though they hadn't done much after getting breakfast, time had still flown by way too fast. "And I wanna spend mine with you."

That had Liam blushing a bit, he was pretending to be reading the page in his book again but it turned out to be slightly more difficult than expected when the blonde boy moved again, this time not to kiss Liam somewhere and almost causing him to pass out but rather pushing the book away slightly so that he could fit his head into the older boy's lap. Okay… "What… what are you doing?"

"I want you to pay attention to me and not your exam thats two weeks away." Niall almost sounded like he was whining, but he was smirking when Liam looked down at him with a slightly red face. Having Niall's head pressing into his crotch was maybe not the best way to concentrate better. 

"I told you I could help you study for yours…" He really had, Liam knew that it was getting to Niall more than he admitted that he wasn't getting good grades, so he had thought that maybe now that they were… together, the younger boy would maybe agree to letting Liam help him. 

"That's not what I mean, Li and you know it. But still, thank you for the offer, I really appreciate it, you know? Maybe one day I'll stop being lazy and actually take it… then again though, I can imagine studying with you isn't as easy as it sounds." By now, Liam had put his book aside, very much to Niall's pleasure, he seemed to like the way Liam carefully put his arm around the boy's stomach because Niall immediately grabbed onto it. 

"What … what do you mean?" For a moment, Liam was almost a bit bothered by what Niall had said, slowly moving his hand into the boy's soft hair, it's almost like he couldn't resist, it was just so nice to touch and Niall seemed to really like it too to have it played with. 

"Well, it's hard concentrating when you're around, and I already have a hard time doing that when I'm all by myself, so… no idea how that'd go." He shrugged a bit, smirking a bit up at Liam, probably because the older boy had to clear his throat a bit to get over his embarrassment, at the same time though he felt his heart flatter a bit. Did Niall really think it was hard to concentrate with Liam around?! "You have no idea how cute you are whenever I make you complements, Li."

"I… I was just…" Yeah, nothing, Liam stopped the slow movements of his fingers through Niall's hair, not moving his hand or arm away though because Niall was lightly leaning into his touch, more towards him, a soft smile on his lips. 

"See? You're doing it yet again." Then he let out a short, fond laugh, his eyes falling closed as he rubbed his thumb over Liam's wrist on his stomach. "I'm so glad I kissed you last night… imagine if I hadn't, I'd still have to pretend I'm just randomly touching you all the time."

"I… I'm glad you kissed me too… even if I was a bit, um… mad at first." Only slightly though, Niall let out a chuckle at that, still caressing the older boy's arm and Liam calmed down enough to take up the stroking again, especially now that Niall had his eyes closed, he felt more comfortable brushing his fingers through the blonde hair, kinda enjoying having Niall's head in his lap. They had been on Liam's bed since god knows how long, but Niall hadn't done anything like this before, sure he had cuddled into Liam before and hugged his arm, but that was still a bit different. It just felt good knowing that he wanted to be close just as much as Liam did, even if he had troubles showing that sometimes.

"I noticed that, babe." The 'babe' at the end almost brought Liam out of concept, then after a second or two it filled him with warmth, Niall had just said it like that, like it wasn't a big deal or like he hadn't even noticed, Liam definitely wouldn't mind being called that more often. "But it's good now, yeah? Like this? I mean it obviously has only been a day, but… "

"Yeah… yeah, it's good. Of course it is, Ni, you know that…" Hell, Liam found their current situation embarrassingly good actually, who cared if he couldn't tell anyone about it if he got Niall all to himself like this whenever they were alone? No more watching him kiss anyone or having some girl in his lap, maybe no one knew that they were together but Liam could still enjoy it knowing he was the only one who got all of this. He trusted Niall, damn, he would've trusted this boy with his life for some reason.

"Good, because I don't intend on letting you get away from me so fast anymore." It didn't sound anything but like a joke, but maybe there was some more truth behind it because Niall grabbed Liam's wrist a little bit tighter, turning his head more into Liam's hand, giving his stomach a few knots. Not in an uncomfortable way though.

They stayed like this for a while, a few times Liam thought Niall had fallen asleep like this, with his head snuggled in the older boy's lap, but then he moved a bit or said something, his slightly rough palm rubbing over Liam's arm.

The older boy didn't do anything besides using the chance that he got to stare into Niall's face like this, liking the way his hair felt between his fingers, the way Niall pressed against him, how good it felt to be so close, even after a whole day of spending time together. 

"Ni… I think I gotta go shower soon, before everyone else goes." There was nothing Liam hated more than having to go to the bathroom when it was packed with people, so he always went really early and even though he really didn't want to move off his bed and away from Niall, he was kinda hoping that Niall would wanna stay for a bit longer. 

"Nooo, stay here, I don't wanna move, you're too comfortable." Well, that did seem like a really good argument as to why Liam should stay and yeah he did want to keep on half lying here and playing with Niall's hair and getting goosebumps every few seconds from the boy's touches he got in return. But then, he also didn't want to not go shower when he only had to be like, 10 minutes away from Niall until he'd be done. "Don't go. Stay."

"I'll be right back, I… I just don't wanna go later, it's really uncomfortable when there's a lot of people…" That was maybe the biggest problem Liam had now that things had turned out fine with him and Niall, it seemed to be a really small price to pay though. 

Niall sighed a bit at that, moving as he blinked his eyes open, yawning a bit in a way that had Liam wanting to lean down and kiss his nose, which he didn't of course, he just felt a bit empty and cold when the boy sat back up, rubbing his eyes a bit. "Ugh… fine then, but you gotta hurry up, alright? I gotta sleep in my own room tonight I think, I gotta get up really early. Plus, I don't know what Louis would think if I told him I'd sleep somewhere else, like… he doesn't know it's your room I'd sleep at, he'd get really pissed at me and then he'd probably tell you and you'd have to pretend it bothers you that I slept somewhere else. Even though it was your room I slept at, I… I'm pretty sure he's staying at Harry's over the weekend though, and it's already wednesday, so…" It was true, everything Niall had said, even if it made Liam slightly sad because he really wanted Niall to stay over night, he knew that they couldn't act so extremely secretive and suspicious after only one day, it wouldn't help either of them.

"Yeah, I know, I… I'll be really quick, oaky? And then maybe… maybe you can stay for a little bit longer?" Liam didn't wanna sound too needy, but he really wanted Niall to stay, it was just hard to ask him when he was sitting so close and looking at Liam, his face sleepy and soft. 

"Of course I'll stay a little bit longer, Li. But hurry, yeah?" And then he placed a longing kiss on Liam's lips, his hand rubbing over the older boy's stomach, causing it to turn into knots as he kissed back, not being able to sigh a bit in disappointment when Niall pulled away too soon, chuckling quietly against his mouth. "That's a motivation to come back sooner."

"Don't need motivation for that…" Liam mumbled, his face hot and heat coiling his tummy which he had to ignore for now though, maybe it was a good idea to go showering. Ice cold, preferably.

He needed a bit too long to collect his stuff while Niall took over his bed, sprawling himself out all over it and winking when Liam was about to leave the room, well aware that he needed to take a key because how would it look if he would knock at his own door and then have Niall Horan opening for him. Yeah, totally not suspicious. "See you in a bit, babe."

"Yeah… see you in a bit." Had he not been so red, Liam would've gone over to give Niall another kiss, but he couldn't really without embarrassing himself, so he just threw another quick look at the younger boy, regretting it slightly when he saw that Niall's shirt had ridden up and was exposing almost his whole stomach. Okay, Liam would think of that when he came back.

There were maybe two other people in the bathroom, Liam was quite sure they left before he even stepped underneath the shower, slightly paranoid about the fact that none of them had a lock or anything, it was just a curtain. Like, it wasn't as if you couldn't tell very obviously whether someone was inside or not, but it still wasn't a very nice thought to consider that someone might be standing behind you while you were butt naked. 

Unfortunately though, Liam also couldn't just leave right again, he actually had to shower here and calm down a bit, not exactly wanting to leave just like he had come in. Half hard and not being able to think of anything else but what it'd be like to recreate the night of the party now, sober, and after they had both admitted they liked each other. After Liam was allowed to call Niall his _boyfriend_. 

Obviously, Niall had been wondering much about the same.

Liam had no idea how long he had spent in the bathroom or whether someone else had come in after all, the running shower made it slightly hard for him to really hear anything else, had he not opened his eyes after a while and decided that it was probably time to go back now, he would've probably died of a heart attack. 

Just after Liam had turned around, the shower still on and water hitting him, there was some other noise, pretty close to the shower curtain or otherwise he wouldn't have heard it and then suddenly… suddenly someone just pulled it aside and Liam's heart stopped, he had nothing to cover himself up with or anything, he literally just stood there naked, staring in shock. 

And then he saw Niall.

"You… " Literally every single smart thought had drained from his mind as Liam looked into the younger boy's face, he had nothing on besides a towel wrapped around his hips, pretty low too, probably having dumped his clothes with Liam's outside so they wouldn't get wet, just… what the hell?! "Niall, you… you can't be in here."

"Why not? No one else is here. I borrowed your second towel by the way, hope you don't mind. I can wash it." His smirk was cheeky as hell and honestly, Liam couldn't even think of covering himself up, he even forgot to be embarrassed when Niall's eyes flickered down to his crotch for a second, very obviously studying the older boy's bare body. "You know I thought… I still gotta shower too and… we could as well do it together. Save water and all, you know."

"Niall…" Liam must've sounded like a fucking idiot, but his throat felt quite dry as Niall simply took off his towel to hang it up next to Liam's, revealing his pale, slim and very naked body without a second thought or any hint of embarrassment, pulling the shower curtain closed behind him. "Ni, I… what if… if someone, uh… catches us in here… together, I…"

"Who would, Liam? Honestly? It's fine, we'll hear the door opening, we just gotta be quiet then I suppose, and not talk too much." Talking while looking at Niall was hard enough, but talking while looking at a bloody naked Niall was even harder, Liam had to swallow hard when the younger boy came over, winking at him as he stepped underneath the running water as well, closing his eyes for a second as it hit his face and hair. How'd he still look so bloody attractive with his hair all wet and dripping?! Liam wanted to get his hands on the boy so badly, but he couldn't move, just stare and wonder whether he had really just come to shower. "You okay, Li? You seem a bit… tense."

"Yeah, no, I… I'm fine, just… surprised you came, is all…" Really, Liam was trying his best to be calm here, it was just bloody hard while watching Niall running a hand through his own wet hair before opening his eyes again, stepping a bit out of the water, probably so he wouldn't drown and could smile at Liam in the way that made his knees feel pretty useless.

"Well, tell me if you want me to go, I-"

"No! I-I mean… you can, uh… stay. Yeah." God, Liam wanted to slam his head into the wall, the last thing he wanted was the younger boy leaving now, he just didn't wanna get caught here and the thought of that was slightly nerve wrecking. 

"Liam. It's fine, come on, relax. No one's gonna catch us, I promise, we'll be quiet, yeah? Come here." Well, that certainly wouldn't help with the being quiet part.

"What are you doing?" Liam felt slightly nervous when Niall stepped closer, the running shower making it hard to understand each other and maybe that was good because Liam let out a quite embarrassing sound when the blonde boy smirked before wrapping both his arms around Liam's neck, punching a groan out of him as he pressed their hips together, the older boy's back hitting the cold tiles on the wall.

"Helping you relax." Niall mumbled, and before Liam could say anything, Niall's mouth was pressed on top of his, wet and hot, and Liam's hands somehow automatically flew to the boy's bare hips, holding on tightly, his fingers digging into the warm flesh and it seemed to motivate Niall even more. 

Never would've Liam thought he'd be one of these people who made out in a public bathroom or whatever, but here he was, breathing hard against Niall's skin as they deepened the kiss, clinging to each other while the water was still running, hopefully drowning out every sound because Liam forgot where they were the second Niall's tongue joined his. 

The kiss was as mind blowing as always, plus Niall was doing these slow rocks with his hips against Liam's and since the older boy hadn't exactly come to the showers completely turned off… this wasn't helping the slightest bit.

Still, he didn't think of pulling away or telling Niall to stop, it was like, the boy's lips and mouth were addicting, the way he could feel Niall getting hard against him, the fingers pulling his hair and then suddenly rubbing up his side, all that had Liam turning his brain off. He was trying to touch Niall back as much as he could, never quite able to believe that he was allowed to do all of that, that Niall leaned into his touch, sighing against Liam's lips whenever the older boy did something he liked, it was… unimaginably satisfying for some reason.

"Ni… what…" As they pulled apart for air, the younger boy just kept going though, pressing open mouth kisses on Liam's cheek and jaw, then over to his ear and causing him to moan involuntarily as he sucked Liam's earlobe into his mouth, teeth grazing gently, his palms pressed onto the older boy's chest. "Niall…"

"Shh… told you I'd be helping you to relax, right?" Niall's breath hitting his skin had Liam shivering, he really wanted to just lean his head back against the wall and just enjoy this, enjoy all the touches and how hot and perfect Niall's mouth felt on whatever part of his body, gripping tightly onto his hips to keep him as close as possible. "It's fine, Li, just let me, yeah?"

Well, no idea what exactly he wanted Liam to let him do, but the older boy's brain was kinda useless right now anyways, especially when Niall combined his kisses down his throat with these long and lovely swipes of his palms up and down Liam's upper body, more often than not brushing his nipples and causing Liam to shudder. He didn't even notice what he was doing half of the time besides standing there and trying not to pass out, one of his hands curling into Niall's wet hair as the younger boy started sucking on his neck, then down to the junction between his neck and shoulder and once he was done with that, he went even further.

Honestly, it didn't really occur to Liam that what Niall was planning on doing here went way further than just making out, but he was making the brunette boy feel like he was in heaven, he never considered that he should have stopped Niall when he hadn't been completely gone from the pleasure he was feeling. Maybe he also didn't really want to.

There was definitely a door opening when Niall kissed down Liam's chest, sucking on his nipples for a while and luckily they still had the water turned on fully or someone would've for sure ended their fun before it had really started. It's just, Liam had a hard time keeping quiet sometimes. 

His hand was still in Niall's hair, lightly pressing onto the back of his head as the younger boy kissed down even lower, and when he nuzzled his face against Liam's stomach, kissing his belly button too, that's when the older boy's eyes flattered open and he looked down, realizing that yeah, Niall was definitely on his knees by now. And he was definitely about to do something that almost pushed Liam to the edge at just the thought of it. "Ni… you… you don't have to-"

"I want to." He threw a smirk up at the older boy who was trying his best to control his breathing, which was a bit hard when Niall had both his palms on his upper thighs and his mouth so awfully close to his… yeah. And Liam was embarrassingly hard too, or maybe… maybe not that embarrassing after all because he had a very good look at Niall right now and he could tell the younger boy hadn't exactly been left cold by this either. God, why was this so hot?! "Relax."

"I… I'm trying…" Liam couldn't help but stutter, gripping Niall's hair a bit tighter, heat coiling in his stomach as he watched, not able to look away or do anything besides sigh as he felt Niall's hot breath on his erection, hoping that he wasn't hurting the younger boy by how tightly he was holding on. "Niall…"

There was no answer, Niall just made some sound in the back of his throat before having Liam's head fall back against the wall as he kitten licked at the tip, one of his hands coming up to wrap around the base, pulling back a bit to nip and suck at the sensitive inner skin, sending Liam to heaven. 

It was so good, Niall really knew how to use his tongue and mouth, Liam had had blow jobs before but never like this, never with so much teasing and built up tension. Niall took is time, he played with the foreskin, sucking on the head, sometimes pulling off completely to smirk up at Liam whenever he let out a shivery moan, his hand jerking the older boy off ever so slowly. "N-Niall… please…"

Liam wasn't quite sure whether that was water or precum on Niall's face, fact was that it was hot as hell to think it might have been the latter. The blonde boy ignored Liam's half begs for a bit, keeping up the slow teasing before _finally_ wrapping his lips around the head and sucking hard, once more almost getting a moan out of Liam that was definitely at the verge of giving them away as he enveloped the older boy's erection in his hot, wet mouth, keeping his hand around the base to make sure it wouldn't go too deep. God, shit, Niall wouldn't even have had to move or anything for Liam to come, he was sure that just the feeling of his would've pushed him over the edge had he not been desperately trying to hold back, not wanting this to be over so soon.

Niall kept one hand against Liam's thigh, probably to make sure the older boy wouldn't accidentally push forward and make him gag, Liam was trying so, so hard not to do that, it was just hard when Niall started bobbing his head, doing that thing with his tongue that forced Liam to press his eyes shut, breathing out harshly through his nose. It was hot enough to feel the boy's mouth and hands on him, watching him too wouldn't have really helped Liam to swallow his moans.

Only now that Liam wasn't watching anymore, he could actually imagine what it'd feel like to be inside of Niall like this, though the boy wasn't taking him fully, but he had his fist wrapped around the rest, jerking him off a bit in time with the head bobbing. Shit, Liam wasn't gonna last for even two minutes if Niall went a bit faster, his mouth was so wet and so hot and perfect and it was _Niall_ and Liam was so gone honestly.

When the younger boy pulled off a bit, Liam wanted to whine in disappointment, but he couldn't really when Niall pressed a kissed to the head, still moving his fist as he spoke just loud enough for Liam to hear, his breath hitting the sensitive skin. "Good?"

"Y-Yeah… god, Niall… please… please don't stop…" Liam was aware that maybe he sounded a bit whiny, but he just couldn't help it, almost losing it as Niall let out a soft laugh, placing more kisses before suddenly nuzzling his face just underneath Liam's cock, punching a grunt out of him as he started sucking on his balls gently, his free hand coming up to tug at them softly. Why was he so good at this?! "Ni… please…"

"You wanna come?" Hell yeah Liam wanted to come, he didn't know if Niall saw it but he just nodded his head, leaning it back against the wall as he loosened his grip in Niall's hair a bit, not wanting to hurt the boy. "Okay… fuck, you're enjoying this so much… this is so hot, Liam."

And before Liam could let out a groan in frustration, the boy's mouth had swallowed him once more, leaving is hand rolling Liam's balls as he bobbed his head, faster this time, obviously trying to get him off now and Liam just couldn't hold back any longer, couldn't even warn Niall as he came into the boy's mouth, down his throat. Niall just took it and that was probably even hotter, he worked Liam through it, as if he was motivated by the boy's moans, swallowing everything down and not pulling off until Liam's breathing had calmed down again slightly, his legs trembling a bit from how hard his orgasm had hit him. And yet he immediately felt guilty. "Fuck, Niall. Fuck, I'm sorry, I should've told you, I-"

"Shh. Don't be sorry, that was so fucking hot, babe, you have no idea, shit…" Niall licked his lips, he was still on his knees and Liam ran his hand through the boy's hair, trying to show him in this gesture that he really was sorry, but all he got was the usual smirk before Niall got back to his feet, arms immediately back around Liam's neck. "I would've pulled off if I had wanted to, you know… god, Liam… you make me so hard you have no idea."

"I… "Yeah, what exactly would you answer to that?! Liam couldn't really do anything besides staring into the boy's blue eyes, knowing nothing except for the fact that he had so much love for this boy, he never ever wanted to let him go again or move or leave this shower. "Do you want me to, um…you know."

"No, it's fine, just kiss me, yeah?" The fact that Niall didn't want anything back got Liam a bit surprised, he had one hand on the boy's hip, the other cupping his cheek, rubbing his thumb over Niall's very red and very swollen bottom lip, almost sighing when the boy pressed a kiss onto his finger, smiling a bit before leaning in further to get his mouth on top of Liam's.

It was kinda gross to taste his own come in the boy's mouth, but it wasn't gross in a way that would've caused Liam to pull away, especially not because Niall was clinging to him so desperately, mouth opening wide and almost fucking his tongue into Liam's mouth. Actually, Liam kinda liked it, the whole situation, he had never done anything like this before and it was both exciting and dirty and a bit wrong but nevertheless a fucking turn on.

Maybe that's why he didn't think much of it when he moved his hand from Niall's waist, still kissing him back hard as he wrapped it around the boy's erection instead, kinda proud when the younger boy moaned rather loudly into his mouth, wanting to make him feel just as good as he had just made Liam feel.

After that, Liam was even more eager to find out what else they could be doing sober and without any clothes on.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise :) Happy Easter everybody hope you'll like this chapter!

"Hmm, I missed you." Though Liam had heard these words a lot during the past two weeks or so, he still felt the little tingles in his stomach, especially when Niall kissed him like four seconds afterwards, with his arms wrapped tightly around the older boy's neck, not allowing him to go anywhere until he had gotten what he wanted. Not that Liam would've wanted to go anywhere. 

"I missed you too… even if it's only been two hours." Never ever would Liam have thought they would turn into this kinda couple, sure, Niall had been more than just affectionate, getting Liam to be a little less careful as well, but the older boy wasn't sure whether Harry and Louis were this much over each other after not seeing each other for two hours. Then again though, they could always hold hands and kiss, but Niall and Liam had to do it in private, maybe it was that secrecy that made this whole thing even more exciting. 

"Shush, Li, I'm always missing you, you know that. In fact, I couldn't concentrate in class and forgot to take notes, but only for history, promise." Well, that was not good at all, Liam had gotten Niall to study a bit with him, despite the boy's claims that he was too distracted by Liam, but the older boy really wanted to help.

"Can you copy them from someone else?" See, Liam was taking this way too seriously, Niall had his arms around his neck, laughing softly into his face before leaning in a bit closer, causing Liam to tighten his arms around the boy's waist.

"Probably, but that's not really what's worrying me right now anyways." Judging by his smirk, Liam wasn't gonna get him to take his studies more seriously right now so he gave in, sighing quietly as Niall chuckled, tilting his head a bit before fitting his lips against Liam's.

They were in Niall's room, because Louis was apparently not there, Liam had no idea where he was, all he knew was that Niall had texted him in the middle of his last class, telling him to come to his room afterwards. Right after knocking, the younger boy had opened with a huge smile, pulling Liam inside by his wrist and closing the door with his foot before Liam had even had a chance to check whether Louis was there or not. As soon as Niall had thrown his arms around him and confessed having missed the older boy, Liam had quickly found an answer to that. 

The kiss was slow and gentle, it was amazing actually, Liam had thought Niall was someone to kiss rough and eagerly, but he wasn't like that at all. In fact, the boy was always being sweet and slow, making sure to take his time and have his hands everywhere he could possibly reach, giving Liam goosebumps all over with his tender touches.

Even when they met quickly between classes, one time in the fucking restrooms, Niall was never short of telling Liam how much he had missed him and how much he wished they had more time than just these short breaks. The fact that Niall was so needy and affectionate was what calmed Liam down the most, he knew he could trust the boy, it was obvious that he really wanted this, that he never really hung out with anyone else anymore other than the same few people that Liam knew already, it almost seemed to be too easy.

Not even Zayn or Louis or Harry got the slightest bit suspicious, it seemed that Niall's random touches in public got no one thinking that maybe there was a bit more going on. Which was very much to Liam's relief because he had no idea how he would ever tell his friends that Niall and him had spent the night together at least 5 times and that even though they hadn't technically had sex, the amount of hand and blow jobs were also not exactly what Liam wanted to explain. Also not the sober version of the party night from last weekend.

"Li… can I spend the night at your room? I wanted to… try something." Right, Liam had no idea what that was supposed to mean, he also didn't quite want to ask because Niall's lips were still brushing against his as he mumbled, pecking the older boy's mouth once more. 

"You can always spend the night at my room…" That caused Niall to smile brightly, he rubbed his nose against Liam's like he sometimes did, no idea if he wanted to be cute or anything, but he sure as hell was more than just that. "What'd you wanna try?"

"It's a secret." Smirking, Niall kissed Liam one more before stepping away, leaving the older boy feeling a bit dizzy, his arm slightly empty now that he wasn't holding Niall anymore. If it had gone after Liam, they would've never brought more than just half a centimeter of distance between them. "I'm sure you're gonna like it though."

"We'll see." Judging by how confident Niall was about this, Liam was quite sure he would be enjoying this as well, simply because he always enjoyed everything he and Niall did together. 

It was kinda funny to think that whenever he was here with Louis, Liam would sit on his best friend's bed of course, but since it was only him and Niall, he lied down on the blonde boy's bed, not feeling weird about that anymore because he was very sure that the last person who had been naked in here and had not been Niall was himself. Besides, it's not that he was somehow worried about whoever Niall had hooked up with before him, he knew that Niall had been changing these girls like dirty clothes, there had been no feelings, it had just been for the fun of it, Niall had reassured Liam multiple times, even when he hadn't even asked. Still, it made Liam feel really good, to know that he was the only one Niall had agreed to be in a relationship with, though it wasn't public, it was obvious that the younger boy wasn't hanging around any girls anymore. Even Louis had mentioned that to Liam and he had barely been able to hold back his dumb smile.

"Babe." Liam almost fell off the bed even if he probably should have been used to it by now, but it always gave him tingles when Niall called him that. The blonde boy had pulled off his shirt before having looked for another one, at least now Liam didn't feel bad anymore about simply watching, his eyes only getting stuck on Niall's tattoo for a moment, he still hadn't asked what it really meant, he was more focused on watching the boy's muscles move. 

"Um, yeah?" It was almost like Niall was doing this on purpose, he always kinda changed his clothes whenever Liam was present, not that the older boy was gonna complain about that. 

"Which one is better?" See, he was definitely doing this on purpose, there was a smirk on his lips as he turned around, Liam was barely aware of the shirts Niall was holding, he was much more focused on the boy's face and his bare, upper body. 

"Uh… both are… nice, yeah." Who cares what Niall was wearing honestly, he'd look great in everything anyways. "And both would look good on you, so…"

"Aww, you're so sweet, Li." Liam regretted having admitted that for a second, his cheeks turning slightly red, but then Niall winked at him, throwing both shirts carelessly on the floor before coming over, still half naked. 

"It's true…" Shrugging a bit, Liam thought about sitting up, but then he quickly changed his mind as Niall got on the bed as well, moving to straddle the older boy's hips until he was practically sitting on top of Liam. Well, not practically, he was actually fully sitting on top of Liam.

"Thanks… I'm afraid I'm still gonna have to choose one of them around campus though, unless you don't wanna go on a walk with me, then I'm sure we'd also find something else to do…" He leaned forward a bit, smiling a little wider as Liam placed his hands on the boy's hips, moving them up his sides slowly, amazed by how smooth and warm Niall's skin was, how beautiful. 

" A walk…?" Liam's breath was going a bit shallow when Niall leaned down even further, his hands on either side of Liam's head to support himself, his lips placing a gentle kiss on the corner of Liam's mouth, not exactly where he would've wanted to have them.

"Yeah… I thought it'd be nice, besides… if we leave campus and go somewhere no one knows us, you know…" Did he really want to go on a walk so he could hold Liam's hand and kiss him outside of their rooms? It seemed quite like it.

"I think… I think a walk would be good." Liam agreed quickly, a little nervous about the fact that Niall was on top of him like this when Louis could have literally bursted in here any second, but the blonde boy was placing kisses all over Liam's face and his breath was tickling the older boy's skin so he really did not want to express his worries out loud. 

"I think so too." He smiled, this time kissing Liam's cheek and the older boy grabbed a bit harder onto Niall, his hand rubbing up and down the boy's back, slowly, until he remembered what he had been wanting to ask for quite a while now and what had Niall being shirtless before had reminded him of.

"Niall…" It was just a simple question, it's just that Liam had a hard time concentrating and speaking when the boy was placing these random kisses in his face, sometimes his mouth, but never for long enough. 

"Hm?" Running his fingers through Liam's hair, Niall had the older boy almost forget yet again what he had been planning on asking. Well, he would have, had he not had his fingers on the exact place of Niall's body that had even brought him to this question in the first place.

"What… what does your tattoo mean? I mean, what does it really mean? I know what you told me… a while ago, but… you didn't get a tattoo of nothing, did you?" Because that would be pretty dumb, Liam was busy ignoring all the tingles he got from Niall's even stroking and his soft lips, but the younger boy actually pulled slightly away, something crossed his mind, Liam could tell as they stared into each other's eyes. For a moment, he almost thought Niall would get mad.

"No, it's…" While speaking, Niall sat back straighter, still sitting on top of Liam though, turning his body in a way to show Liam his back, which didn't work so well but at least now the older boy was able to see what it was. A date. 

"What… what happened on the 7th July six years ago?" Niall had been 13 at that time and Liam was slightly confused as he traced the tattoo with his finger, watching Niall frowning slightly, as if he had gotten a tattoo of something he didn't like to be reminded of. Why had he lied to Liam the first time? Telling him that it meant nothing when it very obviously did?

"My… my granddad died." Oh. Well, that definitely wasn't what Liam had expected, he let his hand drop as Niall turned forward again, his eyes now on stuck on Liam's shirt instead of his face, placing his palms on top of the older boy's chest. 

"I'm sorry, Nialler, I shouldn't have asked." Well, now it was kinda obvious why he hadn't just told Liam when they hadn't known each other that well, Liam felt really bad, but for some reason, he was still confused. Maybe because Niall didn't seem sad, he seemed rather nervous actually. Probably didn't wanna talk about it. "You don't have to say anything, it's fine. I'm really sorry."

"No need to apologize, Li…" Obviously there was, Niall seemed to be a bit lost in thoughts, but he looked up briefly as Liam covered his hands with his own, trying a small smile to maybe cheer the boy up a bit but all he did was sigh, squeezing Liam's fingers back though. "I'm sorry I lied."

"It's fine, Ni, we didn't know each other that well when I asked the first time, and this is pretty personal, I understand, don't worry." That didn't seem to help Niall, he gave no reaction to it, just furrowed his eyebrows a bit and Liam would've reached out to try and smooth out his forehead had he not held onto the boy's hands. Was he really beating himself up now because of this? Or was he thinking of his granddad? Liam would've loved to ask about him, it's just… Niall didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it, with anyone. 

"Yeah…" Was all he said before shaking his head a bit, clearly forcing a smile on his face that made Liam slightly sad, he was used to Niall being genuinely happy and bubbly and excited, it reminded him once again that this wasn't the only side to the younger boy. It was like with his injury during the game that he had been trying to hide, Niall didn't want to make anything about himself public that made him vulnerable and it was something that had Liam worrying about the blonde boy slightly. Or more, the reason why he was like he was. "Let's go for a walk, okay? I'll just put on the grey shirt."

"I… yeah." Liam barely reacted as Niall smacked a kiss against his lips before climbing off of him, he was still caught in thoughts as he sat up to watch the boy putting on a shirt before getting up with a somewhat happy face. Or at least he hoped it was, because Niall had his usual smile back on and it was as if nothing at all had happened.

 

——————

 

"I'm not sure this is a good idea, Niall, you could fall down and hurt yourself, just… hold my hand." Maybe Liam was being overprotective here but his heart almost stopped every time Niall would balance on the back of these benches, it's like they were kids and not 19 year old uni students on a walk through the park. A very dangerous one.

"I'm really flattered you care so much about me, but I got it. See? All good." Niall just laughed Liam's worries off, ignoring his stretched out arm and instead carrying on like he had for the past few minutes, he seemed very clumsy while doing it though and Liam was seconds from pulling him off and holding his hand so tightly that he wouldn't have a chance to get away anymore. Definitely too overprotective. 

"Niall…" Liam whined, because he didn't wanna watch this anymore, already having scenarios in his head about how he'd have to call ambulance, not that Niall could've gotten that extremely, but you never know right? 

"Li, it's fine, calm down." And then he jumped down to Liam's relief, smirking as he simply threaded their fingers together, not scared of anyone seeing them here. Their walk had already been longer than Liam would've thought, but it was really nice, just talking to Niall, holding his hand like this and sometimes kissing him. Plus the sun was setting so the chances of anyone seeing them now and especially in this part of the park were very slim. "Could've just told me you wanted to hold my hand so badly, you know."

"It wasn't about that, you… you could've gotten hurt, you know? Didn't look very safe, and you were struggling a bit too and your shoe laces could've-"

"Liam, you're so fucking cute, you know? Impossible." Well, that had not really been what Liam had been hoping to hear, he had really meant it, but now he blushed when Niall smiled and pressed his lips against his shoulder over the shirt, squeezing his fingers while they were still walking a bit off the stone path. 

"I was being serious, you know…" He really had, Liam had just been worried about Niall's safety, it's not that he was mad that Niall was laughing it off because he had expected him to, but still. 

"Hey, Li, I… you're not mad, are you?" Almost immediately though, Niall stopped walking, automatically causing Liam do do the same since they were still holding hands, surprised when he saw that Niall wasn't smiling anymore but rather looking quite worried. Okay now, that's also not what Liam had wanted, though he did appreciate Niall's concern. 

"I'm not, I was just, um… just worried, that's all… I don't want you hurt." Because the memory of the time of Niall's football game wasn't very nice, even if it had ended not so badly, Liam still didn't want to see Niall in pain ever again if possible. Or see him sad like before in his room when they had talked about the tattoo, it was horrible to watch.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been laughing, I know you care about me, Li, and I really appreciate it, you know… in all honesty, I wouldn't want you to balance on these benches either. Actually… maybe it was kinda dangerous, I'm sorry." Niall squeezed his hand gently, studying Liam's face very intensely as if he was searching for something and Liam, well, he suddenly felt really bad, he hadn't meant for this to turn out like this, he just wanted to enjoy the time he got to spend with Niall alone.

"It's fine, I'm not mad. Let's walk a bit more before it gets cold, yeah?" Though going back maybe wouldn't have been such a bad idea either since Niall wanted to stay over night, but Liam still wanted to spend some more time here because it was really nice to be able to hold hands while walking. 

"Okay… I really am sorry, I-"

"Ni, it's okay, I promise." Of course Niall felt guilty now, Liam should've known that, it's just, he was really cute right now and the fact that he was so concerned about Liam being mad at him had his heart flattering a bit and he wasn't really thinking about anything besides Niall's blue eyes and his gorgeous face and it only so happened that he pressed his lips against the boy's forehead. 

Usually it was Niall who did stuff like that and it sure as hell would've caused Liam to blush really badly, but the younger boy's face brightened up enormously as he clutched tighter onto Liam's hand. Maybe Liam should do things like this more often, and not always be so taken aback and careful, if Niall liked it then… "Okay. Let's go then… I think I wanna go back to the playground, you know, the one where we went together? I could push you on the swings this time."

"I think I'll pass… but we can still go there if you want." Chuckling a bit over the boy's clear excitement, Liam softly pulled him along, enjoying it a bit too much when Niall grabbed onto his wrist with his free hand. "You're such a child, Niall."

"You wouldn't believe how much I hear this." Actually, Liam could believe that very well, Niall didn't seem to mind though, he seemed pretty happy now as they changed the direction, leaning his cheek against Liam's shoulder for a moment, it made walking a bit harder but it was definitely worth it. 

They barely met any people on the way, and if then they were mostly old people or other strangers, Liam was kinda really glad that Niall wasn't too obsessed with them hiding it once they were away from campus. It could've been much worse right? This was actually not bad at all and at least if they were hiding it, there was no one there who could have reacted badly to it. 

The playground was empty once they got there, it was only slightly creepy because it was about to get dark, but Niall was clearly excited and Liam couldn't really help himself but smile and shake his head at the younger boy. He always called Liam cute yet he probably didn't even know how fucking cute he was himself, especially now when he let go of Liam's hand just to be first at the swings, as if someone else was gonna take them or whatever. "Come on, Li, hurry, I thought you went running in your spare time."

"You know I am, Nialler…" Not lately though, Liam had other things on his mind, he hadn't even thought about going running during the past two weeks or so and the reason why was grinning at him so brightly from one of the swings that Liam thought his cheeks would probably be hurting tomorrow. "Don't have much spare time lately though."

"And why would that be?" Then he winked at the older boy just as Liam sat down on the swing next to him, blushing only slightly this time, maybe he was finally improving. 

"Oh, I don't know… maybe because a certain someone keeps distracting me." It felt good to just attempt and make a joke, Liam was really trying to not be so… up tight anymore, they were together after all and he knew that Niall was being genuine with him. Besides, making him laugh always felt like the biggest accomplishment in the whole world to Liam.

"You're enjoying it though, Liam, admit it. I know you'd miss me if I weren't getting onto your nerves that much." Was he really thinking that? Liam threw a look over but Niall was just laughing, throwing his head back a bit while swinging, not very high though, he seemed to be just doing it for the fun of it.

"You're never annoying me, Niall.. you never could." Liam was enjoying the hell out of the attention he got from the younger boy and he was pretty sure Niall actually knew that and had just been joking, after all, Liam wasn't very subtle about it. 

"I was just kidding, Li, I know you like when I'm being clingy as hell. And I gotta say, I really like being that too, I've never… never really wanted to spend that much time with someone, you know? With just the same person I mean… but I really do start missing you after an hour, I'm not lying whenever I'm saying that, just so you know." Niall had this way of making Liam feel so god damn special it was insane, he didn't even sound like he was trying to do it though, he seemed a bit lost in thoughts and Liam just watched him, his cheeks flushed now of course, but at the same time he could feel a small smile forming on his lips. "I'm really gonna miss you when we go on break."

"Oh… I've almost forgotten about that." It was still a bit until then, but now Liam's stomach sunk at the thought, hell, he would miss Niall even more than the other way around. "Are you… are you going home?"

There was a short silence, Niall stopped the swing before looking over at Liam, his facial expression undefinable as he shrugged before slowly shaking his head, he didn't seem sad just… not very happy either. Liam shouldn't have asked. "No, I'm not… I'll be staying here."

"Is your bother going?" Though he knew it was wrong, Liam just kinda couldn't help but ask, almost flinching a bit when Niall let out a short laugh, not an amused one though, his good mood seemed to be completely gone as he turned his head away from Liam, almost having him apologize and offer to drop the topic. 

"Of course Greg is going home. He's always going home. Someone's gotta be up our parents' asses, right? Someone's gotta be the one bringing home all of their A's and getting their back pet for it." Shit, okay, Liam hadn't known that it was THAT bad really, he hadn't even known Niall's brother's name, he wanted to say something, apologize, but Niall just shook his head before randomly carrying on, his voice harsher than Liam was used to. "'sides, I don't wanna waste my money on plane tickets if I'm rather here anyways… sometimes… you know sometimes I wish I could even stay here over the summer." 

"Niall…" Liam didn't know what to say, especially not when Niall's voice went a bit more quiet towards the end, he felt a tug to his heart now, he hadn't known Niall had such big problems with his family. It seemed so hard for him to admit it too and talk about it, Liam appreciated that the boy was telling him all of this, he really didn't want to mess it up now. "I'm sorry, I… I didn't know, I shouldn't have asked… I just… if you wanna talk about it, you know, I'm here…"

"There's nothing to talk about, Li, but thank you, I appreciate it. They're just assholes, you know? That's all. I guess some families are just fucking shit, nothing you can do about it. I… sometimes I feel bad for thinking so badly of them but then… then I imagine what it'd be like if I never saw any of them again and… and I realize I wouldn't care. And I'm pretty sure that feeling is mutual, so…" Ouch. What was there to answer, honestly? Liam had no idea what to say, he so desperately wanted to help Niall, pull him into his arms and hold him until he felt better, but instead he just sat there and stared, not being any help at all. Shit, why couldn't he say the right things to make his own boyfriend feel better?! "It's fine Liam, I can almost hear your worrying, but you don't have to say anything, it's not like it's something new to me. I know how to handle it, it's okay."

"But I… I still wish I could help." Now Liam sounded like a fucking idiot, this wasn't about him after all. 

"It's fine, babe, you don't have to help me with anything, okay?" When their eyes met, Niall's smile was clearly faked, even if it was just small, Liam could tell he was uncomfortable now by the way he was fumbling with his shirt, barely being able to keep looking at the older boy. Shit.

"I want to though, I…" And then Liam had an idea, it seemed kinda reckless to just offer it mindlessly without thinking it through or even knowing whether it would be okay. But then again, why would it not be? "Come home with me."

"What?" Niall seemed clearly surprised, he pulled his eyebrows up as he looked over at Liam again who was slightly nervous but also a bit excited at the thought, like… having Niall home with him, having him meet his family and showing him his room, but most of all… having him all to himself for a bit over a week seemed like heaven actually.

"Come home with me during the break… if you stay here then there's probably not a lot of other people and it'll be boring and besides, I… I want you to come with me, because… I'd miss you a lot too." And then Liam wouldn't be able to properly enjoy his break. Thinking about this now, if he could both have Niall and his family then that'd surely be the best break ever, why hadn't he thought about this before?

"But I can't just go home with you… I mean, I don't wanna take away your time with your family and anyways, they probably wouldn't want you to bring some random boy home they don't even kn-"

"You're not a random boy, you're my boyfriend." Liam interrupted without thinking, because it was true and also, he suddenly really wanted Niall to come, he knew his parents wouldn't mind, they weren't like that, in fact, they'd probably even be happy Liam had found friends. 

"Thanks, Li, but I don't know if… if it's a good idea, you know." His face was softer now, as if he didn't wanna hurt Liam, but he also didn't sound like it was already final that he wouldn't come, he just seemed unsure about the situation. 

"They wouldn't mind, I promise, they don't care who I bring home as long as they are my friends. I could call them and ask if that'd make you feel better." Right now actually, Liam would do it, he suddenly felt really motivated, he really wanted Niall to say yes and take him home and then surely his mum would treat him like she treated Zayn and Louis, it'd be better for Niall than staying here. Like, Liam didn't know whether some of his other friends would be staying too but he was pretty positive that he didn't want to leave Niall with them. 

"But… how'd you explain it? I mean, like… would you tell them that we…" Then he moved his hand between the two of them and Liam suddenly understood his worries, was Niall scared of what Liam's family would say if they found out that they were dating?

"Not if you don't want me to, it's not like we don't know how to keep it a secret and they wouldn't be all over us all the time, like… we'd have as much time alone as we wanted." Which was another reason why Liam wanted him to come, by far not the only one though, it seemed there wasn't even a negative aspect to all of this.

"But they wouldn't mind? They wouldn't mind if you… if you had a boyfriend?" Niall seemed seriously surprised by this, it took Liam a moment to understand, staring into Niall's face, suddenly feeling pretty beaten down as a few things fell into place. 

"No, they wouldn't, I had a boyfriend when I was younger… they know I'm bi, they don't mind." Seeing the look on Niall's face after this was like a punch in the throat, but Liam had no idea what else he should've said besides the truth, he hadn't wanted to rub it into Niall's face that his parents were just accepting it like that, but the younger boy was staring at his feet now like he had.

"Lucky…" He mumbled, barely understandable, it was almost only a breath and Liam suppressed a sigh, this was really complicated, he didn't want to hurt Niall with anything he said, but… he also didn't just want to switch over to another topic, maybe… maybe the boy did want to talk about it, maybe he just didn't know how.

"What… what would your parents do if they found out about… us?" The question seemed kinda unnecessary once it was out because Liam knew, it wasn't hard to guess anymore now, none of it, maybe that's why the look Niall threw over at Liam almost gave him shivers.

"They'd take the next flight to bring me all my stuff from home and then change their phone numbers and never talk to me again. And Greg would probably walk around campus telling everybody he's a single child." Then, before Liam could even process this, Niall had simply gotten up from the swing, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he walked away, not far though, just a bit before he stopped, with his back to Liam and the older boy felt pretty useless. 

He couldn't believe that they were seriously talking about this, that he hadn't known or even considered that this might be the problem why Niall wanted them to keep it a secret. Of course they couldn't go walking around holding hands when his older brother was there as well, ready to call their parents, and then adding up to that, Niall was still claiming that he was straight, it only made sense that he wanted to hide it from everybody. Niall was terrified, of everyone's reaction, and it really got Liam worried to think about what might have caused him to feel this way.

That's how Liam once again learned the hard way that maybe his boyfriend wasn't only sunshine and butterflies, that maybe there was a reason for why he was the way he was and that it wasn't always Niall who was the strong and confident one. Right now, it seemed like he really needed Liam to take that role for once.

When the older boy slowly got up, he tried to think about what to say, but nothing came to his mind except for that he was sorry, and he was, he would've done anything to make Niall feel better, have the smile back he loved so much. He just didn't know how to achieve that, he wasn't as good with his words as Niall was.

So the only thing Liam thought might help was the one thing they basically exchanged 24/7, it kinda seemed to be their thing and he wasn't sure if Niall would just back away, but it was worth a try to give him a cuddle. Especially since he was usually the one who initiated it when Liam was too held back.

He couldn't see the boy's face obviously, but Liam tried to be slow and careful to not startle Niall, first thinking about gently trying to turn him around, but then Liam changed his mind, rubbing Niall's upper arms gently and when he didn't flinch or move away, Liam carefully wrapped his arms around the boy's stomach from behind.

Niall didn't seem to mind at all, in fact, he grabbed onto Liam's wrist and leaned back against him with a sigh that could mean multiple thing, but it gave Liam enough courage to hold him tighter, pressing a kiss to his clothed shoulder. "I'm so sorry… please don't be sad, Ni, I didn't mean to upset you… and I don't like seeing you sad."

"I'm not sad or upset… not because of you anyways. I'm just… I'm scared." His voice was only a whisper, immediately bringing out the protective feelings in Liam that he had had when the boy had hurt his leg, he pulled him tighter back against his chest, kissing the side of Niall's head this time before leaning his cheek against it, maybe it was helping him a little bit. "You know when I was a kid… I had this phase where I really liked boys and especially this one boy from school and I… I told my parents and they got so mad, they… they're really homophobic. Always have been, plus we never got along, neither did me and my brother… and when I realized I liked you like that I… I tried to ignore it because I'm not gay but… I panicked, you know? And then after we hooked up… I'm just scared they'd ever find out, or my psycho brother, I haven't talked to him in ages, I don't even know what he'd be capable of doing. I'm sorry, Liam… I should've told you, but I… I never told anybody and I didn't know how to say it and… shit, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do myself, I wanna be with you but I'm scared and I don't like boys, but I like you and I-"

"Niall, hey, it's okay, calm down, it's all good…" The boy's voice had almost broken away and Liam wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle him crying, he could barely even handle what Niall had just admitted. How was this possible? That he was so fucking terrified because of his own family that he couldn't even admit his own feelings to himself? What the hell had they done to him? "Can you turn around? Come on, Ni, look at me, please…"

There was a sniff and Liam's heart broke into a million pieces before Niall slowly turned around, he wasn't crying, but he looked so close to breaking out into tears that Liam quickly pushed away everything that would've held him back usually as he cupped the boy's cheeks softly. "I'm sorry… I should've told you sooner…"

"Niall, it's okay, you don't have to tell me anything at all if you don't want to, yeah? But I appreciate that you did and I'm so sorry your family is like … like this, I… I had no idea, Ni, I wouldn't have said anything if I did… and about the other thing… it's okay if you're confused, I really wanna be with you too and if you like me that's all I care about. We don't have to tell anybody, I promise, okay? No one has to know… just for us." Liam tried a smile, it was shaky but he was praying that it maybe helped a tiny little bit as he rubbed his thumbs over Niall's skin, leaning forward to kiss the boy's forehead once more, if he had liked it before, maybe he liked it a second time.

Niall didn't say anything for a moment once Liam had pulled back again, he leaned into the older boy's touch, sniffing one more time, quietly, before suddenly wrapping his arms around Liam's waist out of nowhere, almost causing him to stumble back. "Thank you…"

"You don't have to thank me, Nialler, I… I really like you, I'd never do anything you don't want and I'm always there if you need to talk, okay?" It was easier like this, Liam felt his stomach twist a bit because of how tightly Niall was holding on, pressing his face between Liam's shoulder and neck, as if he really wanted to be held right now. So that's what Liam did, because he had been wanting to hug the boy ever since the topic had been on Niall's family and his face had gotten that expression that Liam hated. It shouldn't be legal for Niall to be sad, he should always be happy and laughing. "It's okay, I'm here…"

No idea if knowing that helped Niall because he didn't answer, but he kept clinging to the older boy, tighter now and Liam just hugged back, doing his best to calm his boyfriend down in whatever way possible, rubbing his back, placing a few kisses into his hair before the courage would leave him again. Although, now that he knew all of that… that did change things a little bit, even if he was proud that he was the person Niall had chosen to open up to, that didn't make this easier in the slightest way.

It really got Liam thinking while quietly holding Niall and rocking him slightly, feeling his uneven breath against his bare neck and his warmth through two layers of clothing. One thing that really was weird was Niall's desperate claim that he was straight, he seemed so terrified of maybe being attracted to guys too and Liam finally got it, he finally understood what the boy's problems were and it made him feel slightly dumb for not having realized it sooner. 

What if there was a reason why the blonde boy hooked up with so many girls all the time? Just for the fun of it? Maybe it wasn't just for the fun of it, maybe it was because he had built up this image of himself and it was true that no one would have ever thought Niall Horan could hook up with a guy. He was the popular one that played football and had one girl after the other, well… had had before Liam, he had just given that up for the older boy and obviously, this had been a much bigger deal than Liam would've ever thought.

But he couldn't just ask, could he? He couldn't randomly ask Niall whether he only hooked up with girls so everyone thought he was straight? Like, maybe he was straight, but it seemed more like he was just trying to convince himself out of everyone. And Liam couldn't say anything about it because it was obvious Niall didn't want to talk about it or even be confronted with it in the first place. It was the same like with his tattoo, Liam couldn't ask about any of these things because he was scared of hurting Niall or making him uncomfortable.

"Liam…" It seemed like forever before Niall spoke up again, his voice was quiet though and he didn't lift his head, he just stayed like this, arms around Liam's waist, his fingers curled around the older boy's shirt, as if he was scared of losing him or something.

"Yeah?" Liam had stopped stroking the boy's back and had gone over to simply hugging him, his cheek leaned against Niall's head. He felt so bad for Niall but he had no idea how to help him, it was killing him to know that there was nothing he could do except for listening to him and offering cuddles. 

"Can I… can I still come home with you?" That had Liam's heart speeding up immediately, had they not been just talking about all this depressing stuff, he would've brought himself to smile maybe, but seeing as the situation had changed, he just pressed a kissed against Niall's head before holding him tighter.

"I'd love for you to come, Ni, you know that." He still had to think about how to explain that to the others, but for now, that wasn't really any of Liam's concern, anything that made Niall happy and cheered him up. 

"Thank you so much, I… staying here over breaks really isn't that much fun…" Well, Liam had already guessed that, had he known that, he would've offered it to Niall so much sooner, hell, he loved having the younger boy with him, didn't he know that?

"You can always come home with me for breaks, Nialler, if I had known that, I would've asked you much sooner." Liam should've really done that, but it seemed that at least that was something that made Niall feel better because he pulled back all of a sudden, only a bit so he could look at Liam, his arms still wrapped around his waist, something like a smile on his lips. 

"You're so sweet, Li, thank you so much… I'm so lucky I got you, like… there's no one who cares as much about me as you do and conveniently enough… I care about you just the same." Okay, that really was cute, Liam would've blushed had he not been so worried and felt so protective of Niall right now, and maybe that was good because he could just return the smile, cupping Niall's face in one hand. "You mean so much to me, Liam, you have no idea, it's like we've known each other for ages or something."

Before the older boy could answer, tell Niall that he felt much the same, the blonde boy had leaned forward to capture Liam's lips in a soft, gentle kiss, not too eager or anything, it was just really nice and Liam's heart was flattering as he kissed back, continuing to caress the boy's cheek, warmth bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe… maybe if Liam just tried hard enough, if he showed Niall that he'd always be there for him no matter what happened, maybe then the younger boy would stop being scared at some point, if he only knew that he had someone who would always have his back and who he could tell anything, because obviously, he hadn't had that until now. And Liam really wanted to be that person for Niall.

Later, when they slowly walked back to campus and it was already quite dark, Liam carefully pulled his hand out of Niall's before anyone would catch them, hesitating before wrapping his arm around the younger boy's shoulders instead. First he though Niall would maybe tell him they couldn't do that either, which was why he was even more surprised when Niall just smiled before wrapping his arm around Liam's waist, apparently not caring what anyone thought about seeing them like this. Maybe that alone was an improvement, no matter how small.


	10. Chapter 10

It would be an understatement to say Liam was nervous waiting for Niall. They had agreed that the blonde boy would come to Liam's room once they were both done showering and all, it'd just be really suspicious if Liam went with Niall to his room to get is stuff and then if both of them went up to the older boy's room together, especially if Louis was there as well.

Unfortunately though, once Liam was done showering and brushing his teeth, he had nothing to do anymore to distract himself except for waiting for Niall to come to his room, which meant quite a while of him just sitting there and thinking about what exactly he was supposed to do now that Niall had opened up to him like that. Also, he didn't know whether Niall still wanted to do whatever he had told Liam he wanted to try, so the thought of that got Liam slightly nervous too.

One thing Liam was pretty sure about was that it wouldn't help to keep asking Niall about it or bringing it up again, the boy only ever talked whenever he wanted to do it himself. Any other time he was in a good mood and happy, and Liam did believe that he was like that and not just faking it, but there was also a side of him that he was keeping so well from everybody that it almost scared Liam to think about how Niall was when he was by himself. Was that why he didn't want to be alone?

There was no doubt that it'd take a while until Niall would tell Liam everything else, if ever, the older boy was sure that he was still holding things back, but he decided to not be pushy in the slightest way. Yeah, he cared about Niall and he wanted him to know that Liam would never do anything to hurt him and always be there to listen, but he'd probably have to show him that he did without actually saying it. 

It seemed quite complicated to Liam, but on the other hand he was so glad that he understood Niall a bit better now, even if he was the only who knew, at least he had gotten a few explanations for Niall's behavior. And a few assumptions that may or may not turn out to be right, only thing Liam knew for certain was that he somehow felt even more love for the boy now than he already had before, if that was any possible.

Just, the thought that maybe Niall wasn't only strong and confident, that maybe he sometimes needed Liam to lean on as well, it somehow balanced their relationship out a bit more. They were both only human and neither of them were 100% sure about how to handle this situation, even Niall was only doing what he thought was fitting for the situation. It felt kinda good to be reminded of that, even if Liam wished it could've been through some other way, but at least now he felt less nervous, at least if it came to the physical part of their relationship. He'd probably never manage to not blush over certain things the blonde boy did.

When it knocked on the door, Liam almost immediately jumped out of bed to open up, he knew that it wouldn't be very helpful for Niall to stand in front of his door for ages, a lot of people knew him obviously and though they might not have known that this was Liam's room, they didn't need to overdo it. 

"Close the door, quick." Niall almost bumped right into Liam trying to push past him into the room, the older boy barely even caught a look at him as he tried to do what Niall had told him, slightly panicked as he turned around to face him then. "First I had to wait for Louis to go shower so I could sneak out and now this guy living across the hall just asked me where I was going. But he didn't see me knocking, no worries, but this is really stressful, god…"

"Wait… you snuck away from Louis?" This was not good, Liam was slightly worried as he watched Niall dropping his bag and slipping his shoes off, shrugging a bit as he crawled into Liam's messed up bed as if it was his own. Good.

"Yeah, I didn't know what else to do. Usually he's not here whenever I sleep over at your room, but I… I don't wanna have to make up that I'm sleeping at some random chick's room when I wouldn't even want that. Besides, Louis would get really mad at me and then he'd probably tell you stay away from me before I hurt your feelings or so. I mean… he's probably gonna do that anyways now that I think about it… I'm sorry." He did seem sorry, but he looked a lot better now than he had before in the park or on the way back, he'd probably pretend that it hadn't happened and Liam was okay with that, but he wouldn't be able to forget about it either.

"It's okay, I guess there's worse things than having to listen to Louis telling me you slept over at someone's room when I know it's been mine. Besides, I doubt he'd wanna bring my attention to that, you know he's thinking I'm really hurt and all." Well, actually, Liam hadn't been hanging out a lot with Louis or Zayn lately, which made sense, they were probably thinking he had found other friends as well because he always forgot to text back when he was with Niall. Which did make him feel bad, but then again, it's not like they never saw each other and besides, it had always only been Liam who had had no one else to spend time with.

"Yeah true, explains all the death glares I get after hugging you." Liam couldn't help but smirk a bit at that as Niall laughed shortly even though they both knew it was very true, it didn't really bother them seeing as Louis didn't know what was going on when he wasn't there. Of course he only wanted to protect Liam, and so did the other 2, but that didn't mean that they weren't taking it a bit too far sometimes, Liam was always reassuring them that he was fine after all whenever they pulled him aside, and he thought that he was really convincing too because it was the truth after all. "Why are you still standing there by the way?"

"You been missing me?" It wasn't so often that Liam was being cheeky when he was slightly nervous, but he suddenly felt like it and Niall laughed, his face all happy and bright again like Liam loved it. 

"Always, babe. And there's way too much space on this bed when I don't feel like I'm falling off the mattress any second." There barely was any space when they were lying on there together, which meant they always had to sleep extremely close and it'd be a lie to say that Liam wasn't enjoying the hell out of it. 

"Can't let that happen, can I?" Liam mumbled while climbing into bed where Niall had already made himself comfortable, a wide grin on his face as he turned to make more space for Liam, immediately half on top of him as soon as the older boy had half lied down, goosebumps rising all over his body and a tight heat coiling in his lower abdomen as Niall slipped his hand underneath his shirt, rubbing his stomach slowly as he leaned in closer. Okay, maybe he wasn't that confident after all. "Hey…"

"Hi…" Niall whispered, giggling softly, pressing into Liam's side while propping himself up on his elbow, keeping up his hand movements, his breath almost hitting the older boy's face. "You look pretty cute when your hair is like that, you know?"

"I… thanks…" Liam tried so hard not to blush and just smile, but he couldn't exactly control these reactions so of course his cheeks turned somewhat hot and Niall laughed softly, as if he had been expecting just that. He probably had. "Niall… are you okay?"

Maybe that hadn't been the best moment to ask, but Liam wanted to make sure, his face was still burning a bit as Niall was being serious for a second before he nodded, leaning closer to press a kiss onto Liam's cheek. "Yeah… I'm good, Li, don't worry about me."

"Okay, just wanted to ask, you know… if there's ever anything wrong… I'm here." Again, Liam wasn't gonna push it, he just wanted to let Niall know one more time, that he hadn't forgotten about anything they had talked about before, that the offer was still open and that he'd always listen to the blonde boy if he wanted to talk.

"I know, Li, thank you so much. But I'm alright, yeah? Let's… let's not talk about it for tonight." He seemed pretty sure about it so Liam just nodded, moving his arm so he could wrap it around the younger boy's shoulders, pulling him down a bit until Niall got the hint and started chuckling. "Do you maybe wanna have a kiss?"

"Maybe…" Liam smiled softy, not able to draw his eyes away from Niall's face, he looked so beautiful right now and he probably didn't even know. His hair was all fluffy, still a bit wet from the shower, his lips looked so pink and kissable, not even speaking of his gorgeous eyes piercing right through Liam's. And then of course, there was still his hand under the older boy's shirt, rubbing his bare stomach and then a bit upwards his chest as he leaned down even closer.

"I could probably help with that." It was good to see that Niall wasn't anything besides in a good mood right now as he smirked before brushing his lips against Liam's, not quite giving him a real kiss but rather laughing against the older boy's skin and giving him a few tingles. "I like it when you don't shave…suits you really well and also… I like how it feels."

"I-" Before Liam could respond, Niall had already properly pressed their mouths on top of each other, giving Liam a warm feeling in his stomach because of what he had said. He had once been slightly worried about having forgotten to shave and having some stubble, mostly because he thought maybe Niall didn't like the feeling against his skin, because… well obviously he was freaked out about liking a guy. So it was really nice to know that it seemed to be the exact opposite. Guess who wasn't gonna shave too often anymore.

Whenever they had the whole night, Liam felt that kissing Niall was even better than usually. Just because they could take their time and all, not having to be scared of anyone bursting in or having to go to class soon, it was just really nice and slow and deep and Liam didn't want it to ever end. Niall's palm was now just resting against his bare chest underneath his shirt as they kissed, but Liam had his hands free to hold onto the boy, make sure he stayed this close, caressing his cheek ad softly dragging his thumb over the boy's jaw, sometimes tugging gently at his hair before running his fingers through, like, there were so many possibilities and Liam didn't know where he wanted to touch Niall the most.

"Ni… you know… you know what you said before we went onto a walk?" Liam's breath was going a bit heavy once they pulled apart, Niall's leg somehow having ended up between his, the boy's lips placing wet kisses down his neck instead. "…about what you wanted to try?"

"Yeah." Niall breathed against Liam's skin, giving him goosebumps as he chuckled before continuing with his kisses, biting down gently and Liam had to grab onto Niall's biceps a bit harder. 

"Um… what was it?" He really wanted to know now for some reason, whenever they were together and making out like this they could barely contain themselves, it was quite impressive really, Liam was quite sure he had never gotten off that often and good with someone else. So naturally, he was kinda hoping the boy's 'idea' involved them being naked.

"Think it'd be better to show you instead of explaining it." Well, that sounded very promising, Liam felt his heart speeding up as the younger boy licked at his pulse, moving his had out of Liam's shirt now to pull it up instead, as far as that was possible. "Take that off, okay?"

Liam didn't have to be told twice really, as soon as Niall sat up with a grin on his face that could mean only so many things, Liam made sure to get rid of his shirt, excitement bubbling in his stomach now. "What… what now?"

"Hmm…" Niall took his time, like always, smirking, he liked to tease and Liam both loved and hated that sometimes, but it was just Niall and he had to deal with it anyways because the younger boy always made sure to have his fun. "First of all, you gotta kiss me again because you look so bloody good."

Blush crept into Liam's face when Niall cupped his cheeks to pull their faces together for a kiss, immediately licking hotly into the older boy's mouth and Liam couldn't help but groan in the back of his throat, he really wanted to know what was gonna happen but at the same time he didn't want Niall to stop snogging him like this, his tongue playing with Liam's, almost having him forget that Niall had been about to do something completely different. 

When they pulled apart again, both still sitting up, Niall caught his breath shortly, a smile playing around his lips as he ran his fingers through Liam's hair, his other hand having dropping down to the older boy's sweatpants, playing a bit with the strings, awfully close to his crotch. "Take that off too. And your boxers… if you're wearing any."

"I… I'm not." It was true, Liam hadn't really seen a point in putting any on when he had been 99% sure that he was just gonna take them off again, but it still caused him to blush slightly when Niall laughed a bit, suddenly very well aware that only wearing sweatpants also meant that it was very clear to see that he was half hard. From a bit of snogging and Niall's thigh rubbing against his crotch, it's just… it was _Niall_. "I… okay."

"Come on, let me see, Li." Niall leaned back against the wall as the older boy got up, a bit flushed as he started undressing himself completely, well aware of the younger boy's shameless stare up and down his naked body before he kept looking at Liam's half hard on for a bit longer, the smile faltering a bit. "Do I really turn you on that easily?"

"Niall! Stop staring at my dick and tell me what to do." For a moment, Liam was kinda embarrassed for blurting out with it like that, but then Niall broke into laughter and Liam rolled his eyes, feeling a bit weird just standing there in front of the bed, naked, not that Niall had never seen him naked before, but it was still rather awkward.

"Alright, alright… come here, lie down." Smirking, Niall simply kick the blanket off the bed for more space, petting the mattress and it only got Liam thinking now that the boy was still fully clothed. Well, he'd hopefully change that really soon. "No, no, lie on your stomach, not your back."

"Um… alright." Okay, this was taking unexpected turns, but Niall's smile was still wide and Liam was quite sure there was nothing the boy could do that he wouldn't like so he went with him, still slightly nervous though as he slipped an arm under his pillow, resting his head on top and trying to look behind him to see what Niall was doing. The friction the mattress created wasn't helping very much with trying to keep it down. "What're you doing?"

"You'll see…" Then Niall waited for a second, as if in thoughts, before shrugging to himself and making Liam spread his legs a bit further. How crazy was it to think that just behind the wall there were people casually walking by and Niall was kneeling between Liam's legs while he was naked? Better not think of that. "I saw that in a porno that-"

"You watch pornos?" That had taken yet another unexpected turn, Liam almost broke his neck now trying to look at Niall, he didn't even know why he was so surprised by this, Niall had just said it casually, confused after hearing Liam's question.

"Uh, yeah? Don't you?" Maybe… maybe Liam shouldn't have asked because now even his ears were turning hot.

"Um…not really, no." Not that he had never seen a porno, but… he wasn't usually watching them, especially not here like… not that he would've needed them anymore now, right? "Do you like… get off while watching them?"

"Babe… what do you think pornos are for?" Right, now Liam felt pretty dumb, Niall chuckled a bit but he still seemed confused and Liam wasn't quite sure how he felt about this now, like…

"I know what they are for, just… I thought… I mean when I… well, I think about you and I thought…" There was no reason for Liam to turn red when he talked about masturbating at the thought of his boyfriend when he was literally lying naked in front of him, but he still kinda did, and then even more as he saw the smile washing off of Niall's face. Really, Liam should've never interrupted the boy before because now he almost looked… worried?

"Hey, Liam…" Niall's voice and face were suddenly all soft and before Liam knew what was happening, the blonde boy had just lied down on his back, pressing Liam further into the mattress, making it impossible for the older boy to keep looking at him, instead simply resting his cheek on top of his arm.

"What?" Liam asked rather breathlessly, Niall was brushing through Liam's hair with his fingers, placing a kiss right behind his ear and leaving his lips there as he talked, whispered more like.

"I'm sorry… I'm always thinking about you, Liam, I didn't know it'd bother you if I-"

"No, no, it doesn't bother me, I'm sorry if it came out like that, I was just… surprised I guess. But you can obviously watch what you want, Ni, it's fine, really." And it was, Liam had just not really expected it somehow, but now that Niall was apologizing while sounding really guilty, he really regretted having said anything at all. Like, he didn't wanna be that kinda boyfriend, and he wasn't, he didn't mind what Niall watched, it'd be nice if the boy thought of him during it, but it was fine if he didn't. Not like Liam would ever find out.

"Okay, but what I actually wanted to say was I saw it in a porno a while ago, I didn't… didn't really watch any since us, just so you know." Oh. Now Liam turned even redder because he had embarrassed himself even more, Niall didn't seem to care though, he once more pressed his lips behind Liam's ear, and then his cheek, moving a bit down to kiss the older boy's naked shoulder blade as well.

"It's really fine, Niall, just… what was it?" Liam felt a bit weak now that Niall was moving around on top of him, his hands sometimes in his hair then suddenly caressing his shoulder and back, his breath hitting Liam's bare skin after he pressed his lips somewhere.

"Like I said… easier to show than to explain. I… I remembered it yesterday and I googled and I thought… thought we could try it, if you want. I mean, just tell me if it doesn't feel good, yeah?" Then he placed another kiss on Liam's back, trailing them down until he was almost at his ass, leaving the older boy feeling a bit cold with no one on top of him anymore. At least something he could blame his goosebumps on. "You want me to? Promise I'll stop if you tell me."

"Yeah… yeah okay."Liam's heart was bumping way too fast as to chicken out now, besides, how bad could this feel, right? He literally had no idea what Niall planned on doing, all he knew was that the boy kneeling between his slightly spread things while running his palms down his ass definitely seemed like a good start.

"Just relax, yeah?" That was easier said than done but Liam nodded, letting his eyes fall closed and trying to do what the younger boy had asked him to, still busy placing kisses on his lover back. As if that would've helped Liam to be less surprised because literally nothing could've prepared him for Niall's plans.

The younger boy kept this up for a bit, probably to calm Liam, rubbing his hands up and down the back of his upper thighs, ever so often letting his breath ghost over his ass, but Liam still wouldn't have guessed it. Like, maybe he was just really, really dumb and oblivious, but he almost jerked away when Niall got his hands on his bum, moving again according to the sounds and then suddenly he spread Liam's cheeks open, just giving Liam about one second of gasping before the older boy felt him placing a kiss right on his hole.

"Fuck, Niall." Liam didn't really know what to think, his head was spinning and Niall hadn't even started, hell, he knew that rimming was a thing, just… he had never ever thought that Niall would be about to do that.

The younger boy chuckled a bit, probably at how shocked Liam's voice had sounded and the warm breath hitting his most vulnerable place had him jolting a bit, he wasn't trying to pull away though, he kinda wanted Niall to keep going and Liam's face went deep red as he thought about how dirty this actually was. And Niall didn't seem to mind one bit.

"Oh my god…" At the first touch of the boy's tongue, Liam thought he'd lose it, he had never felt anything like this before, Niall had only once licked over his tight rim but it was enough to get Liam's breathing heavy, his fist unconsciously clenching into the sheets.

From there on, Liam didn't really know how to speak or bring out a clear word, all he knew was that Niall's wet, hot tongue felt fucking perfect on him. The younger boy was using so much spit that Liam felt it dropping down slightly, not that he was really focusing on that once Niall had gotten over the trying out stage and just went for it, digging his thumbs deeper into Liam's skin to open him up wider, licking up from Liam's balls to his hole, sucking at the rim and Liam couldn't suppress a sobbing moan. Shit. "Thought you'd like it."

"Mhmm…" Was all Liam brought out behind clenched teeth, he could barely even stand Niall talking against his spit slicked skin, he had sounded kinda proud though before going right back to it, just licking and sucking while Liam was sure that his cock had never been as hard as it was right now sandwiched between his stomach and the bed, surely creating a mess from the feeling of it.

Niall kept this up for a while, seemingly motivated by the noises Liam couldn't suppress, he had never had such a hard time to keep somewhat quiet, but the little self control he had had left was definitely gone once Niall attempted to push his tongue _inside_ and that's when Liam really lost it, forcing Niall to take a quick break. "Li, hey, shh, the walls are thin, remember?"

"S-Sorry… fuck… please, please carry on…" His voice sounded as if he had been crying, he might as well have been actually, Liam couldn't remember, he just wanted Niall's mouth back on him, biting into the back of his hand now to maybe shut himself up a bit.

"Alright, no worries, just try to relax, yeah? It'll be better if you relax." And then he was back at it, not as eager as before though, just lazily licking Liam before attempting to push his tongue inside once more, and this time, Liam tried hard to keep his mouth shut except for a grunt, and relax at the same time. 

"Ni, fuck… fuck, you got your bloody tongue in me, ah-" Obviously, the boy wasn't able to answer like this, he caused Liam to break off, causing him to come undone by the sensation of having Niall's tongue wiggling inside of him, it was honestly the best he had ever felt, there was a dull pain, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure. 

In fact, Liam was trying so hard not to moan or be too loud that he barely even registered Niall pressing in a finger next to his tongue, it hurt a bit more, but when the boy moved it gently, Liam saw stars. Fuck, he had never been touched there like that before, he hadn't even thought there were places on his body that could feel so amazing being given attention to . Obviously, Liam had been very wrong.

Niall pulled his tongue out then, just leaving his finger in and instead licking around it over Liam's rim, pushing it in a bit further before stopping his movements for a second, unexpectedly pressing a kiss onto one of Liam's asscheeks. "Never knew my tongue could feel this sore, you're really tight, babe."

"I…" What should Liam have answered to that really?! He still felt out of breath and had the hardest time ever not to mindessly rut his hips into the bed in need of friction, besides, Niall had a finger up his bum. 

"It's fine, I love how much you're enjoying this, Li, it's fucking hot to know what I'm doing to you. Can I add another finger?" Now this had taken yet _another_ turn but Liam couldn't help but agree, he felt really sweaty and hot but he wanted Niall to keep going with whatever he had planned on next, it couldn't be that he had just googled this yesterday, he was so bloody good at it. Or maybe Liam was just coming apart way too easily. "Okay, tell me if I'm hurting you…"

The younger boy licked once more around the finger he still had inside of Liam, probably to make it easier, spreading his spit all over and Liam was immediately where they had left off, at a loss of words and having a hard time breathing. It was a lot more of a stretch when Niall added a second finger, but he left Liam time, multiple times asking whether it was alright before slowly pulling them out and pushing back in, at first hurting Liam more than actually giving him pleasure. But there was still something that kept him from saying anything, maybe because with every push in, it became more bearable and once Niall was pumping his finger in and out in a rhythm, Liam was quite sure that this had been the best decision of his life.

"You okay, babe?" When Niall asked again, he sounded a bit breathless, not stopping thrusting his fingers in and out and giving Liam a hard time keeping quiet, just this time when he was almost ready to answer without moaning like a complete mess, Niall suddenly brushed something inside of him that had him seeing stars and keen rather embarrassingly. "Liam?"

"FUCK! Fuck, do that again!" Maybe he sounded a bit too bossy but Liam wasn't doing it on purpose, he was just seeking the feeling from before again that had made him feel so incredibly good. When Niall brushed the spot a second time, pressing down a bit harder on pure purpose, Liam couldn't even breathe for good five seconds. "S-Shit… w-what…"

"It's your prostate." Niall explained as if he was tutoring Liam in biology here, still thrusting his fingers in and out, not deep enough to brush the bundle of nerves again though, almost giving Liam a second to get some air.

"I know, j-just… didn't know it'd feel like this… shit…" He was trying his best to speak somewhat normally, having to press his eyes closed for a bit when the blonde boy pumped his fingers in a bit harder, scissoring them slightly.

"You never fingered yourself? Or had someone else doing it?" Just the thought of Niall having done that to himself would've gotten Liam more than just flushed, but his brain wasn't functioning very well so he just croaked out something that sounded like a 'No' and Niall blew out a breath, his voice a lot quieter as he spoke again, more to himself than to Liam. "Shit… that's really fucking hot, I… I'll make you feel so good Liam, promise."

Before Liam could tell him that he already was, he cried out softly as the boy's tongue was back on him, licking around his fingers before scissoring them and licking up in between them, sending Liam to heaven once more. In fact, he barely even noticed Niall pushing in a third finger alongside the others, almost fucking them in and out of the older boy obscenely, the drag along Liam's inner walls felt amazing, but not compared to the the feeling of Niall pressing down onto his prostrate once more, massaging it until Liam was close to sobbing before thrusting his fingers again.

Liam was so close to coming, he knew it was only a matter of seconds, the sheets rubbing so wonderfully against his aching, untouched dick and Niall's fingers pumping inside of him, hitting his prostate every second time almost spot on. But as desperately as Liam was trying to hold back and not moan Niall's name too loudly, it still didn't prevent him from randomly blurting out with it. It was like as if he unconsciously knew that this wasn't exactly how he wanted to come and though he hadn't had any time to really think about it, Liam just blurted out with it anyways. "Aaah, Niall… Niall… I d-don't… fuck, ugh, w-wanna c-come l-like this… f-fuck me. P-please…"

Had the situation been a bit different, it would've almost been funny how abruptly Niall stopped thrusting his fingers inside the older boy, just completely sitting still for a second and giving Liam a second to catch his breath, he felt so overworked, it was incredible, it was like the tiniest touch could've made him come by now. "What did you just say?"

"I said… shit… I said fuck me… please, I… " Yeah Liam's brain may have turned to jelly but he was suddenly so sure that that was what he wanted, they hadn't done this before but he so desperately wanted to, he wanted Niall, wanted to feel him inside of him, filling him up instead of only his fingers. Shit, just the thought gave Liam goosebumps.

"You… you wanna go all the way?" The younger boy's voice sounded a bit unbelievable, he still had three fingers inside of Liam and the older boy regretted shifting slightly because it caused him to hiss, he couldn't even properly look back to see Niall's face. From what he could tell though, the boy's eyes had gone pretty wide.

"Yeah… yeah, please, Niall, I… shit, please, I want it, just… just do it please I'm so close… fuck…" And Liam was panicking that he maybe would come before having had Niall's dick inside of him, which would've been quite a shame now, but he couldn't himself but have his heart swelling suddenly with how much love he had for this boy, he just wanted Niall to do this and no one else. 

"Shit, okay, yeah… okay, wait, I…" After a second of hesitation or so, Niall's voice sounded really nervous all of a sudden, he very obviously tried to pull his fingers out gently but Liam still groaned a bit, whining a bit at the loss. "I'm sorry, Li, I… wait, I'll be right back, I just gotta get…"

There was a messy kiss on Liam's lower back before Niall hopped off the bed, judging by the sounds almost falling over his own feet. Liam would've turned his head to see what the boy was doing, but he heard him rummaging through his bag and right now he was more busy not rutting too hard into the mattress, it's just, he couldn't help himself, it felt so bloody good and he was so, so close.

"Liam, wait, don't do that, I'm- fuck. Wait." No idea what he was doing now, but he sounded quite panicked at the thought of Liam getting off without him because it took Niall only a few more seconds before he was back between the older boy's legs, apparently already having gotten rid off his clothes because Liam could hear him tearing the condom package before hissing under his breath. "I'm almost done, just… okay. Okay, that's the lube, yeah? Just to warn you."

Liam didn't answer, he was so fucking eager to have Niall inside of him he didn't even care anymore. The boy opened some bottle before pressing two fingers back at Liam's hole and rubbing them in a tight circle, it felt slightly cold and slippery, but noting compared to the thought of having Niall's cock there. Shit, Liam hadn't even known how badly he wanted to have the boy inside of him, but all this had triggered so many feelings and it was hard just grasping a clear thought now.

"Alright, wait, I just… I'll put some on myself so I won't hurt you…" There was some cursing behind Liam once Niall's fingers left, he almost turned around to see the boy touching himself but then stayed somewhat still, scared he might come just at the sight of it. "Okay… okay, I'll push in slow, yeah? I prepped you real good, hope it won't hurt, just… let me know, okay?"

"'kay…" Was all Liam croaked out, sucking his breath in as he felt Niall leaning over him, one of his hands pressing into the mattress somewhere next to Liam for support and then the older boy's eyes widened a bit as he felt the head of Niall's dick bumping against his hole and the younger boy mumbling something to himself, cursing more like. After only pushing in the slightest way, Liam could already tell that Niall was gonna feel way bigger than three fingers had, but the burn was somehow lovely, it felt so good knowing it was Niall, felt so good to be this intimidate and close to the boy, it almost had Liam tearing up.

"'m almost in… you o-okay?" Niall leaned further down while pushing in, his elbows on either side of Liam's shoulders, his shaky voice a lot closer now as he was almost on top of Liam again. 

"Yeah…" Liam was actually more than okay, he couldn't get it into his head how amazing it felt once Niall bottomed out, his hips pressed flush to Liam's, stomach and chest right against Liam's slightly sweaty chest, his hot breath right by the older boy's ear. It was amazing, being pressed together like this, with the younger boy _inside_ of him, Liam really wanted to kiss him right now, which would've been hard in this position, so the shaky kiss he received from Niall on the back of his neck would have to do. 

"God, this feels… so amazing, I… I wanted to this but I didn't, ugh… didn't know if you wanted to and I… you're so tight and hot, Li, it's so… so good, fuck…" Though he wasn't moving, Niall clearly had trouble keeping it together, he scattered more kisses onto Liam's neck and the back of his head, again mumbling how good he felt, obviously trying to give the older boy time to adjust. Which he didn't need.

"You can move, it's okay, just… _please_ move." Liam couldn't wait any longer, it felt like ages had passed since Niall had had his tongue on him, now he just wanted to feel the boy and nothing else.

"Oh… okay, sure, I… I'll go slow." For a moment, Niall seemed surprised by how desperately Liam seemed to want it, but then he sounded rather excited, pressing another, big kiss onto Liam's cheek this time before pulling out way too slowly and rocking back in, breathing heavily into Liam's ear.

"'s okay… go faster." Liam wanted it so badly, he knew Niall wasn't gonna hut him or anything, there was no need to be careful. "Just wanna feel you…"

"Shit, Liam…" Apparently that did things to Niall, his next thrust was a lot harder and Liam couldn't hold back a grunt, it was so hot to feel Niall against him like this, his hot, sweaty body pressing him into the mattress, his face so close to his that he could almost feel the boy's every breath. Everything was Niall and Liam couldn't have wanted it any other way.

When Niall noticed that Liam really wanted it, he went faster, panting into his ear in time with his thrusts, not really pulling out that much every time but rather fucking Liam with his width and length, hard, until his breath almost stopped. 

Pressing his face into the back of Liam's neck, Niall tried to angle his thrusts a bit more instead of just going with it, a breathy, choked laugh escaping him as Liam moaned out when he hit his prostate dead on, trying to hit it every time from there on and Liam had to press his eyes closed, almost choking himself with his words. "H-harder…"

And Niall did push in harder, his breath going heavy as he caused the bed to slightly bump against the wall but neither of them found it in them to care. Someone could've bursted in here and Liam wouldn't have even noticed or heard, all he knew was Niall pumping inside of him, piercing his prostate, the boy's over heated body on top of Liam's and skin slapping on skin as he sped up his thrusts once more, moaning right into Liam's ear.

"Ni… 'm g-gonna…" The fact that Liam had been so close so many times brought him to the edge closer than he would've wanted to, but Niall was rocking him so hard into the mattress, creating just the right amount of friction on his erection, paired with how the boy made him feel in general was just too much.

"Y-Yeah… g-go on… c'mon, Li, come for me…" And Niall shakily whispering that in his ear combined with an extra hard thrust into his prostate was what did it for Liam.

He had to bite his arm in order to shut himself up as he came all over his stomach and the mattress with Niall fucking him through it, still hard enough to cause the bed to squeak a bit and probably ruing the wall. Screw it.

"Fuck, Niall!" Liam came even harder than the time they had done the same as in the night of the party in sober, which was pretty remarkable, maybe it was because he unconsciously clenched around Niall, causing the boy to go even faster, clearly chasing his own orgasm now while riding Liam through his. Bloody hell. "Shit Ni…"

"'m almost… almost t-there…" Niall smacked a kiss onto Liam's neck, panting heavily while the older boy tried to come down, feeling over sensitive now but somehow completely blissful as Niall continued thrusting into him, about five times more before coming with a deep groan, face pressed tightly into the back of Liam's neck, curses leaving his mouth like usual as his hips slowed down a bit as he worked himself through it before they eventually haltered to a stop. And then he just completely collapsed on top of Liam. "Holy shit…" 

"Yeah.." That was literally all Liam brought out, he felt breathless now but pretty good, just tired and exhausted but other than that… hell, he felt bloody amazing, he couldn't believe that they had just randomly had sex, and that it had been the best thing ever. He had never enjoyed it as much as with Niall right now, never had had such deep feelings for someone and the need to be this close to them, it made all of this even better. "Niall…"

"Yeah, 'm here, babe…shit, that was so bloody amazing…" There was a breathless laugh before Niall's lips were suddenly pressed up right against Liam's cheek, all hot and wet but the older boy didn't mind, he found himself smiling lazily, still having his eyes closed as Niall pressed more kisses onto his cheek. "Can't believe we did that, Liam… holy shit."

"You already said that… " Liam mumbled, chuckling when Niall playfully hit the back of his head, softly though before he laughed as well, it's like they both were a bit hyper after this maybe, tired, but in such a good way. Fuck, Liam really had deep feelings for this boy, that was undeniable now.

"I'm gonna pull out, yeah? I'll do it slow." Kissing the older boy's shoulder, Niall attempted pulling out, it still felt a bit uncomfortable despite his tries but Liam stayed still, waiting until Niall had sat back up all the way, suddenly climbing off of the bed.

"What're you doing?" Now that his boyfriend wasn't between his legs anymore, Liam could finally turn on his back, blinking a bit against the light, his face scrunching up a bit when he noticed that he had just lied down on the damp spot he had created himself. Right, and it was on his stomach too, Liam should've probably cleaned this up, but… he couldn't be bothered. Especially not if he could watch a naked and sweaty Niall with messed up hair across his room.

"Getting rid of the condom. You need a tissue?" He was probably referring to the mess on Liam's stomach and the older boy shrugged because Niall had already grabbed them off of his desk anyway. His face was really flushed and sweaty as he came back, hair sticking to his forehead but there was the usual grin that Liam would've killed for. "I'll do it for you. Could also lick it off if you want."

"Think I'll pass this time…" Liam wouldn't have survived a second round and for a moment it had almost seemed like Niall would be up for it as he had winked at Liam before climbing over him, sitting on his usual spot between Liam and the wall. "I can do it, it's fine."

"No, I'm already at it. And I have the tissues, so…" He shrugged, obviously not bothered about cleaning up Liam's stomach while the older boy just watched Niall's face, his heart flattering as he thought about that this gorgeous boy was all his. "Okay, all done… I know we should probably shower again and do god knows what, but…I'm not moving out of this bed anymore."

"Thank you… and agreed, come here now, I haven't kissed you in ages." Once Niall had simply thrown the tissue somewhere on the floor and had leaned over Liam to get the blanket back up on the bed, Liam decided he couldn't wait any longer and simply wrapped his arms around the younger boy's slim body, causing him to laugh loudly as he refused to let him sit back up, pressing him down against his chest. 

"Okay, okay, Li, I'm already coming to cuddle you, just let me sort out the blanket, yeah?" Though Liam had to roll his eyes a bit, he watched fondly as Niall made sure to cover both of them as much as possible before lying down on his side, waiting for Liam to do the same before he scooted closer, a smile on his lips. "See? Now we won't get sick when we cuddle."

"Thank you so much for being so thoughtful, Ni…" God, he was so cute, Liam felt so happy and satisfied all around, he pushed some of Niall's sweaty hair out of his forehead before pulling him in closer with an arm around his waist, not being able to hold back any longer as he pressed his lips against the boy's mouth. They had just had the best sex Liam had ever had and he'd never get over it probably.

They only kissed lazily now, Niall let some sound escape that Liam felt in his bones, vaguely remembering where Niall's tongue had been as it joined his in his mouth, but he just couldn't bring himself to care, he just wanted to tuck Niall in closer, relieved when the younger boy slipped one legs between Liam's, automatically reducing the distance even more.

When they pulled apart a bit, Niall was letting his fingers trace Liam's side softly, their faces only inches apart so they could look at each other, both pretty exhausted by now. "You look proper fucked, Li… suits you really well."

"I am…" Niall smirked a bit tiredly at that, connecting their lips once more, only softly for a few seconds, rubbing his palm down Liam's sweaty back a few times before resting it on his skin, just under his armpit. "I hope I'll be able to walk tomorrow…"

"Well, if you can't then we just stay in bed all day and I'll take care of you." That was a very nice thought actually, thought Liam knew he wouldn't allow either of them to skip classes, he smiled softly at how genuine Niall had sounded, pulling him that little bit closer before rubbing his hand up and down his back, slowly, seeing Niall's eyelids flattering a bit, much like his own. "It's probably only like 9 or something but I could pass out right now…"

"Yeah, me too… you wanna go to sleep?" Kinda hoping he would say yes, Liam was a bit relieved when Niall nodded, it was just so nice to keep on lying here for a bit and falling asleep in each others arms, maybe that was what Liam loved the moved, sharing a warm blanket with Niall and having him cuddle close, just thinking about how fucking gone he was for the boy. "Me too…I… just wanted to say thanks, Nialler… that was bloody amazing, don't think I've ever… ever felt like this with anyone. And you mean so much to me, I… it was perfect…"

"Don't thank me, Liam, it was just as amazing for me… _you_ are amazing." Smiling again, Niall pressed another kiss onto Liam's lips, barely pulling away before speaking. "And you mean so much to me too, couldn't even imagine what would be if you hadn't switched uni." And another one. "Sleep tight, Li…" And yes.

"You too, Nialler…" They would, definitely.

It was so nice feeling himself drifting off like this, when they were so tangled up and cuddled up underneath the blanket, so close that Liam could still feel Niall's breath on his face before the boy moved shortly afterwards to snuggle his face in Liam neck, pressing a kiss there before going still. There was nothing that could've made this moment any better, Liam tucked his chin over Niall's head, holding the boy tightly before giving in to the sleep coming over him, still with a smile on his lips.

No matter what they had talked about before in the park or whatever was wrong, Liam was suddenly sure that they could work this all out, they seemed to be made for each other, they could do anything if they wanted to.

 

—————

 

"Are you excited about going home? I'm not so sure if I'm ready for the chaos at my house." Liam was kinda glad that Louis' voice got a bit lost between everyone else's, maybe a football game wasn't the best place to have a conversation, but then again, this was 100 times better than sitting here all alone. 

"Yeah, I'm excited, I missed my family." Shrugging a bit, Liam tried not to try and stare at Niall too obviously from up where they were sitting, the blonde was just talking to some of his teammates because the game hadn't even started yet, but every once in a while he would turn around and look up at Liam with a grin, not too obviously though since Harry and Louis could see him very well too.

"Me too, but at least your sisters don't want you to braid their hair anymore and play dolls the whole break through." Well, that was the downside of having 6 younger siblings, Liam chuckled a bit as Louis shook his head in frustration, he knew that his best friend was very protective of his sisters and his brother though, he just liked to exaggerate, like usual.

"Don't forget playing horse, Lou. I'm gonna get back pains before I turn 25 if this carries on." Harry threw in from next to Louis, it was only the 3 of them because Zayn had once again found an excuse as to why he wouldn't be able to come. It was probably true though, so Liam hadn't been questioning it too much, he was just glad he hadn't come all alone again because it was rather boring. Then again though, had he been alone, he would've been able to keep his eyes glued on Niall the whole time through. 

"Well, but in exchange for that you get to spend the whole break with me, so I'd say that's a pretty small price to pay." When Louis smirked over at his boyfriend, Liam knew better as to keep staring, he watched Niall again instead, very well knowing that the other two were gonna exchange a kiss now. And they did, only shortly though luckily, it's just, whenever they kissed liked that and were acting all couply, Liam started feeling bad for not exactly lying to them but also not telling them the truth.

It had been a week since Niall had confessed all these things in the park and since their bloody amazing night together. They hadn't talked about Niall's family again or anything regarding that topic, Liam had decided to keep quiet and wait for Niall to come talk if he needed to. He never did though, maybe also because they were even more over each other since then, they had had sex a few more times and Liam had been shocked to find out that it always seemed to get better than the time before. He had tried being on top as well and not been able to decide which one he liked better because it was with Niall and everything would always be mind blowing with this boy, Liam was sure of it.

So his relationship with the boy that was still kept a secret wasn't exactly Liam's problem right now, they got along brilliantly and Liam trusted Niall 100%, pretty positive about that feeling being mutual. It's just, he had been worried about how to tell Louis and the other two that he was gonna bring Niall when they would be going home soon, all together of course.

The situation would've been kinda fitting right now since they already were at the topic yet Liam felt a bit taken aback, like… he knew that him and Niall had maybe overdone the random touches a bit last time all the 5 of them had hung out a few days ago. Hopefully this wouldn't spark any questions now regarding him and Niall because Liam could barely handle these looks he thought the others sometimes threw at him whenever him and Niall would hug for too long. He'd hate to lie yet again.

"You know… about going home…" Liam started carefully, not quite sure if that was still the topic, but he tried to act natural, forcing himself not to watch Niall warming up in these tight pants.

"What about that, Li?" For a moment, their eyes met and Louis seemed slightly confused, just like Harry, who was luckily more busy eating all of their nachos though.

"Well, I talked about that with Niall and he told me that… he wasn't gonna go home, because you know, plane tickets and all…" Making some hand movement, Liam was sure he looked like a fucking idiot right now, but he couldn't have told them the truth about why Niall wasn't going home, could he, Niall was relying on him to keep his secrets. And Liam would have rather died than break the boy's trust. "So I asked him if he wanted to come home with me instead and… and he said yes, so… he's coming too."

The short silence following after this was quite uncomfortable, Liam was so fucking nervous, his hands got a bit sweaty but he tried not to rub them on his jeans, instead pretending to be all casual. Why did he always have to blush in situations like these, did his body want him dead? 

"Oh… well, I wouldn't have expected him to say yes, but…make sure to warn your parents." At least Harry didn't seem to really care, his mouth sounded half full of food and Liam threw a look at him, relieved to see that the other boy wasn't even looking at him. But Louis did.

"Doesn't really sound like Niall actually… hm, I would've expected him to stay and be drunk 24/7 and, you know…" There was an apologetic look coming from Louis directed towards Liam but the younger boy just shrugged, he didn't care about that anymore now, he knew Niall only slept with one single person. Liam himself. "But now that I think about it… he kinda changed a bit, don't you think? I mean you probably notice that more than me because you guys hang out a lot, but I can't even remember seeing him with a girl in like… 3 weeks or so? Maybe you're good influence, Li."

"Or maybe he feels guilty." Harry blurted out, immediately hurrying to correct himself when Louis threw a meaningful glance at him while Liam had to hold back is laughter but also his guilt. If they only knew. "I just mean, maybe you're more important to him than his… you know, so he's holding back because he doesn't wanna hurt you. Although you do take this pretty well, I think… we were a bit scared you might get how you've been after the party."

"Well, I'm just… dealing with it, I guess? Plus we're pretty good friends and all…" Shrugging, Liam looked away from them and onto the field, the game was about to start and he really could've needed the other two to be distracted for a while, like, now that it was finally out, he just wanted the conversation to end.

"Yeah… I think you hang out more with Niall than with us actually." After saying that, no one answered really and Liam was scared Louis might have planned on getting deeper into this and ask questions, already giving Liam half a hard attack before speaking on. It seemed like they really had no clue at all. "How'd that project go by the way? The one you had Niall help you with?"

"Right, I… I got a C. I mean that's not bad, I just made up a bit of stuff and when I got it back a few days ago I gave it to Niall to read and he was crying from laughter so I suppose it was at least funny?" His professor had given the project back to Liam with a bit of a disappointed face and Liam had already thought that he had lost all hope in him. After class though, he had kept Liam there for a word, telling him that it was fine, that he knew Liam had had a hard time trying to get used to a new place, that he couldn't be good at everything, so that had helped a bit. Plus, of course once Liam had shown Niall the project and the blonde had read it, he had immediately forgotten about ever having had any worries at all, the boy was like his personal medicine against everything bad.

"Well, it was just one homework, I'm sure you can still get an A." Hopefully, Liam really wanted an A, but he was slightly distracted trying to get Niall to study as well and it worked sometimes. But then other times they just ended up making out on top of their books and Liam couldn't even be mad about it. "Maybe don't ask Niall for help anymore, don't know if he takes that kinda stuff serious enough."

"Yeah, it… it wasn't his fault because I wrote it, so…" Defending the boy was never a good idea, Liam needed to remember to keep this casual, so he reached over to get some nachos from Harry, hoping that his shirt wasn't gonna slip in a way that revealed the love bite Niall had given him last night. It was kinda funny, like, he wanted them to hide it but he marked Liam up in the most obvious way possible. "But yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna have to do something like this again, so there's no need to ask for his help anymore."

"Right… well, it's done more damage than help really, in the long run I mean, but… for as long as you're alright, that's all that matters. And you are, right? I mean, you'd tell us if you wanted to talk about anything?" They cared a lot about Liam and the brunette boy knew that, so he forced a bit of a smile on his face as he looked over at Louis, nodding and hoping that he was being convincing enough.

"I'm fine, Lou, really. We're just… we just get along, I guess? And like you said, he's not hooking up with people anymore, so that's helping too." Liam bit his tongue at that, but inside, he was so happy he could say that, and have Louis confirm it to him, it was just so amazing to think about somehow, the fact that Niall really liked Liam so much that he only wanted to be with him and no one else.

"Yeah… and it's just a crush, right? I mean, it'll go away, I'm sure." Well, had Liam not been dating Niall then this would've really dragged him down. Then again though, had he not been dating the boy the others probably wouldn't have dared to have this conversation with him anyways, it was just because Liam was handling it so well. Very not suspicious.

"Yeah… yeah, I guess." Shrugging, Liam pretended to be at least a bit beaten down as he let his eyes wander over the field again, just in time to see Niall flashing a grin up at them, he even waved this time and the older boy had the hardest time ever not to smile too much. 

"It's ridiculous how happy he is whenever we come to his games…" Harry sounded more like he was talking to himself than anyone else, but it was true nevertheless, Niall really had been bugging all of them a few days ago that they needed to come. Well, he hadn't had to beg Liam, but the older boy hadn't even known about Niall's game before that, he had just been glad when Louis and Harry had agreed to come as well so he wouldn't have to sit here by himself. 

"He likes the attention." Suddenly thinking about this in a new light, Liam wasn't so sure anymore about what Louis had said, like… wasn't it weird that Niall was such good friends with the only openly gay couple at uni? When he himself never ever wanted to come off as that? Maybe that was something to think about for later because it confused the hell out of Liam right now as he watched the boy from up at the stands, kinda relieved when the game started and their conversation broke off like that.


	11. Chapter 11

The game was good, Niall did amazing as far as Liam could tell, but judging by all these people shouting his name, he probably wasn't alone with that opinion. Only thing not so good about them winning was that of course everyone freaked out even more and made it a lot harder for them to get down from the stands afterwards, not that Liam cared that much now that Niall had very obviously not gotten hurt this time.

"Hey, Li…" Louis stopped him for a moment by holding onto his wrist, they had gotten stuck between all the people somewhere and Harry and Louis were holding hands so they wouldn't loose each other. 

"Yeah?" Liam almost had to yell for Louis to understand him, his best friend leaned in closer then, almost causing Liam's ear to fall off as he raised is voice too.

"We're going back to my dorm, you wanna come?" Well, Liam wouldn't have minded not having to be alone, but he kinda had hopes that he wouldn't be after all, so he shook his head a bit.

"I told Niall I'd meet him after the game." Not so sure if that'd be a good idea now, but Niall had made him promise before when they had been lying in Liam's bed a few hours before the game and Liam had thought giving him a hand job would help Niall concentrate better afterwards. Or maybe he had just wanted to touch him. Either way, the blonde boy had very eagerly agreed to that and obviously it had helped, so…

"Okay, tell him hi and congratulations from us, yeah? If you wanna come later then you still can, just text me first, alright?" As if Liam would ever dare disturbing Harry and Louis without telling them beforehand, but he just nodded anyways, thanking Louis before taking off by himself, kinda glad that the other two weren't coming. One, it was easier to get down from the stands by yourself and two, he kinda wanted to talk to Niall alone anyways.

Still, Liam wasn't so sure anymore whether he really should have disturbed the boy now when he was with his teammates, but Niall had made him promised so Liam still went to the changing rooms of course, he'd understand if Niall would only make this short though, it was fine, Liam just wanted to see him and tell him that he had done great. Because it was true and also, the blonde boy always smiled his most gorgeous smile whenever Liam said things like that, which wasn't too often because he got embarrassed, but they had been dating for over 3 weeks now so he was slightly improving.

It seemed to take ages for Liam to get to the changing rooms, he had long lost sight of Harry and Louis in the crowd, not that he had been looking out for them or anything, it would've been impossible anyways. Whenever he was here Liam thought of the first time Niall had asked him to wait for him, ever since then, the older boy had also been inside the changing rooms, after watching Niall's practice and then the boy had simply taken so long to go shower and get changed that everyone else had already been gone so he and Liam had snogged in there for a while. Good memories.

First, there was no sight of the blonde boy when Liam arrived, some of Niall's teammates greeted him though and he made sure to tell them how great the game had been even if he had not for a second watched anyone else but his boyfriend. Maybe it had been a good idea to be nice though, because at least now, he wouldn't have to go inside. "Hey, Niall! Liam's outside!"

"Thanks." Liam smiled a bit at the guy who had called for Niall, he seemed exhausted but nodded anyways before disappearing into the changing rooms, yelling something that Liam could barely understand.

It didn't take Niall very long to come outside then, his face was flushed and sweaty and also quite dirty, but he had a huge grin on his lips and also, he was bloody shirtless as he stretched his arms out towards Liam, still in the same tight pants he had had on during the whole game. "Did you see the last point I made, Li?!"

"Yeah, I did, I saw everything you did, Nialler." The boy wrapped his arms way too tightly around Liam, almost cutting off his breathing but he still continued to hold on so Liam hugged back of course, smiling into Niall's shoulder. It was cute how excited and happy things like that made him. "I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you so much… where's Harry and Louis? Did they leave early?" For a moment, he almost sounded disappointed, but his face was still all bright and flushed as he pulled back to look at Liam once more, leaving one arm around the older boy's shoulders and Liam almost had to force himself to stop staring at his lips and get his hands off of Niall's hips. They were in public.

"No, they stayed for the whole game, they just went back to the dorms afterwards. But they told me to tell you congratulations." Niall would've probably enjoyed it more if they had told him themselves, but he was still grinning, his arms slowly slipping from around Liam, maybe because there were people all around. 

"Thanks. I'm really glad you guys came to watch… you especially. Don't tell them but I think you might be my fave." His laugh was really cheeky but Liam couldn't help but join, only blushing a little bit though, he wanted to pull Niall closer and kiss him so badly.

"Think that feeling might be mutual." This was so dumb but Liam couldn't help but feeling amused, he wished they could've had a minute for them alone, he knew Niall was gonna celebrate with his team now though, but… maybe he'd still wanna spend the night at Liam's room, it was friday after all. "You going out with your mates?"

"Yeah, that was the plan… do you wanna come too? I know you said you don't, but… thought I'd ask again in case you changed your mind." Right, Niall had almost begged Liam to come too but the older boy had declined as politely as possible, like, he really thought he should stay away from alcohol now, but also Niall should be with his friends, they saw each other all the time anyways.

"Thanks, Ni, but I… I think I'll stay here. But you can come to my room afterwards, you know… if it's not that late I mean, or if you're bored or whatever." Shrugging, Liam only now realized how stupid that had sounded, he felt slightly embarrassed for having said it when Niall frowned a little bit, his smile faltering and the older boy wanted to slap himself.

"Yeah, I… I don't know how long we'll stay out… but I can come back earlier and-"

"No, no, hey. I want you to go out and have fun for as long as you want to, alright? I just meant if you come back earlier for whatever reason or so, but don't come back earlier for me, okay? We'll see each other tomorrow anyways." Liam didn't wanna make Niall feel guilty now, he didn't wanna be that kinda boyfriend and yeah, he really wanted Niall to stay over night and he was a bit disappointed but he smiled anyways, not even having to force himself.

"Aright… I'll sleep over tomorrow night then, whether you want it or not." Niall was doing damage repair now, Liam hated that he had made him feel like that was necessary, but he didn't really wanna bring this up again, he just wanted the boy to do whatever he would do if Liam hadn't just said that. 

"I always want you to, Niall, you know that. Just have fun tonight, yeah?" Smiling, Liam prepared himself for leaving, all of Niall's teammates were in the changing rooms making a hell lot of noise, he didn't wanna keep him from doing anything he wanted to do. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah… Liam, wait." The older boy hadn't even turned to go yet Niall suddenly grabbed his arm to keep him from it, his face no quite that happy anymore and Liam hated himself for having been the one to cause it. "Just wanna say, uh… you don't have to worry, alright? I would never do anything, not even when I'm drinking, you can trust me, okay? I promise."

"I do trust you, Niall, and I wasn't worried at all, it's alright if you go out with your friends, especially after that win, yeah? You don't have to defend yourself in front of me." Did he think that that was why Liam had asked him to sleep over? In all honesty, Liam hadn't been worried for just a second, but it still felt kinda good to know that Niall had been concerned about that, making him feel a bit warmer as he smiled softly. 

"Okay… Just wanted to make sure. Text me before you go to bed so I can say goodnight?" This was really cute, Niall seemed relieved now, rubbing his thumb over Liam's skin before slowly letting go, pulling him back into another hug instead.

"Yeah, of course, Nialler." They held onto each other for a while until it would've maybe become a bit obvious so Liam gently pulled away, happy to see that Niall's smile had come back. "You should go inside and shower, you're barely wearing anything."

"You like it though." Winking, Niall laughed before dropping his arms once again, there were a few goosebumps on his skin that Liam hadn't noticed before, the combination of sweating and then running around shirtless maybe hadn't been that good of an idea. "See you tomorrow, Li."

"Yeah, have fun tonight." It was still kinda hard walking away, but Niall threw the brightest smile at Liam though, waving a bit before the older boy turned around to walk back to the dorms, not wanting to make this too dramatic since they'd see each other again in less than a day. 

Of course Liam could've texted Louis now and asked to hang out with them but he didn't really want to. He'd probably interrupt them or something, and it's not like they would've gotten mad or as if they didn't have enough time alone, it's just that Liam didn't really feel like it anyways, plus he was tired as well.

After an event like this most people only came back to the dorms later, which was nice because now Liam could go use the bathroom and shower with barely anyone else being there. Still, as nice as that was, he missed Niall, of course, he kinda always missed the boy when they weren't together and though he knew that maybe he should've tried to keep himself a bit together, that didn't change the fact that his bed felt strangely big all of a sudden.

Since there was literally nothing to do, Liam just decided to go lie in bed as soon as he had come back from the bathroom, turning every light off except for the one on his bedside table in hopes that it'd make him sleepy. Like, he almost texted Niall to tell him goodnight but then let it be, knowing that he wouldn't be able to find any rest now anyways.

It's not that he was worried about what Niall was doing, or with who, Liam really did trust him fully, the problem was more that whenever the boy wasn't around, Liam would start thinking about their relationship and everything surrounding it all of a sudden. For example Niall's family and then his own family and in general about what they were supposed to do because of all this. What if Niall would never agree for them go public? But then again, his brother would be done with uni at the end of this year so then Niall couldn't be scared of his family finding out anymore. 

Somehow Liam knew that that wasn't the only problem though, otherwise Niall would've agreed that they could at least tell Louis, Harry and Zayn, but he also seemed to be terrified of them finding out somehow, even if he liked them so much he begged them to come to his games all the time.

The only possible solution Liam could think of was that Niall didn't want ANYONE to think that he might be possibly not so straight as everyone thought, that because of his family being like this, that he was scared of ever admitting that he was gay or bi or whatever because he was scared of the reactions. And if that was the truth then Liam had no idea how to help him.

What else could he do other than be there and listen if necessary? He couldn't and wouldn't force Niall to do anything he wasn't comfortable with and if that meant that they'd have to keep this a secret for a lot longer then Liam was willing to do that. Maybe he should've been worried about how much he'd do for this boy, but he wasn't somehow, he couldn't, Niall trusted him and Liam wasn't gonna foolishly play with that. They were supposed to have each other's backs after all.

When Liam finally thought he might be tired enough to sleep it still wasn't very late, he had tried to read some book but quickly gave up on it again, instead getting his phone to clean out some pictures and messages, deciding that it'd be better to text Niall now before he'd forget to do it. 

 

_To Niall 10:33 pm_

_im going to bed, goodnight & have fun :) xx_

 

Liam decided to wait for an answer then, he had actually wanted to write more, but he kinda also didn't want to get onto Niall's nerves, the boy was out with his friends after all and even if he had told Liam to text him, there was no need to overdo it.

For some reason though, Liam didn't have to wait very long before his phone screen lit up again and then even more surprising, the message didn't say the expected 'goodnight' but something very different.

 

_Niall 10:35 pm_

_no wait, stay up for 10 more mins_

 

Well, that was more than confusing. What would Liam want to stay up for? Like, not that he'd be able to fall asleep in the next 10 minutes or something, so he texted Niall an okay back and asked what exactly the purpose of that was but he got no answer for some reason. Maybe he was a bit drunk? But then he wouldn't have been able to text so completely normally and without any typos and besides, they had only not seen each other a little bit over an hour so that would've been quite quick.

Since Liam was too curious to get sleepier, he decided to try and focus on his book again even if he really didn't get that much at all, just kept on pretending that he was reading before flinching terribly as there was knocking on his door. Who the hell… wait.

Hesitating for a moment, Liam was a bit creeped out before his brain started working again and he slowly slid out of bed, even forgetting to ask who was there before opening up, more than just confused by what he saw. It was Niall.

"What-"

"Hi, babe." The blonde boy was smiling, he wasn't even dressed for going out, he was actually wearing his sleep clothes and his hair looked soft and fluffy as if he had just showered a little while ago. Well, he probably had, but what was he doing here then? 

Before Liam could attempt to ask what was going on one more time, the younger boy had stepped into the room and obviously there was no one in the hallways because he cupped Liam's face and placed a kiss on his lips before any of them had closed the door. Okay, now that wasn't only confusing but also very distracting. "Ni… I told you you didn't have to come back sooner because of me."

"I didn't come back sooner." He simply shrugged, still with that soft smile on his lips that made Liam's knees a bit weak as he slowly closed the door, pretty surprised to see the blonde boy simply climbing into his bed and getting under the blanket where Liam had been lying before, very critically studying the cover of the book he had been reading. Or pretending to. "Didn't know you were into that kinda books."

"I… I'm not, I just… what do you mean you didn't come back sooner?" It would be a lie to say Liam wasn't suddenly feeling a lot better, seeing Niall all snuggled up and comfortable in his bed, leaving just enough space for the older boy to lie down as well, just like he always did. But still… had he only come because Liam had been such an idiot before? Did Niall think he HAD to be here? That Liam wanted him to miss out on being with his friends?

"I never even went with them in the first place. Come lie down, Li, I wanna cuddle." Niall put the book on the bedside table before lying back down and stretching his arms out towards Liam, leaving him now chance but to slowly get back into bed as well, not without feeling rather guilty though. He hadn't meant for it to turn out like that. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just… I didn't want you to miss out on anything because of what I said. I didn't mean it like that, you know, I don't… I don't want you to feel like you have to be here now." Adjusting a bit under the blanket, Liam made sure not to meet Niall's eyes as the blonde immediately pressed closer, warming up Liam's side, his hand finding the hem of the older boy's shirt under the covers, slipping it underneath to rub at Liam's stomach like he loved to do for some reason.

"Hey… that's not why I'm here, Li." There was a kiss on his cheek that had Liam shuddering a bit, Niall's hand giving him a few extra goosebumps as he sighed a bit, turning his head slightly to look at the younger boy, surprised when he still saw him smiling like that. "You wanna know why I didn't go?"

"Well… yeah." Of course Liam wanted to know, he couldn't help but touch Niall back, brushing some blonde hair out of his forehead, liking the way the boy seemed to enjoy these simple things now that Liam finally wasn't too shy about them anymore.

"It's not because of what you said, but I had a shower and then we all hung out a bit and went to one of my teammate's room to like, celebrate a bit before going out and… I really missed you and I don't know… I thought about going out and drinking a bit but then I remembered how they always get really shitfaced and how we'd get back at like… 3 am or something and I figured I'd actually rather just lie here with you because it doesn't make a difference whether I'm there or not. They're gonna have fun without me but I won't if all I'm thinking about there is how I'd rather be here with you." Oh. Well… that was a lot different than Liam would have thought.

In fact, there was a knot in his throat as he kept staring into the blonde's blue eyes, he had sounded so honest that Liam didn't doubt his words for a single second. He had seriously told his friends he couldn't come because he was rather here with Liam, Niall Horan, the boy who loved parties and going out enjoyed simply lying here and cuddling with his boyfriend more than any of that. How could that even be real? "… Really?"

"Of course, Li, why'd you think I would make that up?" Chuckling, Niall leaned down a bit more to place a soft kiss on the older boy's lips, his hand still rubbing Liam's stomach as he slipped his leg in between Liam's like he did so often, cuddling closer. "I mean… I would've never ditched this for anyone but you and I've never even known that I would ever want to do that because of someone but I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be than here with you."

God, he was gonna make Liam cry or something, like hearing this from _Niall_ meant so much to Liam, there was no reason for the boy to lie or make this up and he knew it, he really did want to be here with Liam and knowing that felt bloody amazing. "Me too…"

"Okay, good." His smile was so gorgeous, just about like everything else about him as well, Liam could barely bring himself to draw his eyes away from the boy's face, slowly cupping the back of his head to pull him that little bit closer, wanting nothing but to have their lips pressed together.

Kissing in bed like this was so nice, but it was even better tonight because of what Niall had said, Liam felt a bit dizzy actually from the slow strokes of Niall's tongue against his and how the boy's hand seemed to burn holes into his stomach in a surprisingly pleasurable way. Niall's cheek felt like silk when Liam brushed his thumb over the blonde's skin, making sure to keep him this close so they wouldn't ever have to break this kiss even if Liam felt tiredness overcoming him slowly now. 

When their lips were red and slightly swollen, Liam allowed Niall to pull back, his hand still cupping the back of the boy's head as he scattered a few wet kisses from Liam's jaw down his throat, moving a bit more on top of him now while the older boy tried to catch his breath, a tiny bit nervous about asking. "Ni…"

"Yeah?" He breathed out against Liam's skin before lifting his head with a soft smile, his hand having slipped up even further by now.

"Um… do you mind if we… if we don't do anything tonight and just…" Cuddle. But that's not what Liam had wanted to say, he felt slightly dumb for asking, his cheeks getting a bit hotter but the tiny knot in his stomach loosened when Niall kept up his happy face, placing a kiss on Liam's cheek.

"No, that's alright, just wanna kiss you for a while if that's okay." More than that, Liam smiled back before Niall ducked his head down again, resuming to place open mouth kisses on Liam's neck, this time not creating any more love bites though. Which maybe was a good idea because he always made them last so long and Liam wasn't very keen on going home like that, his mum literally noticed everything, it'd be really hard to keep the fact that they were dating as well but Liam kinda didn't know how to tell Niall that. It's not like his family would get mad or anything, it wouldn't be a big deal at all but the blonde boy didn't seem to be calmed down by that. 

He kept up the kisses on Liam's neck and the older boy let his eyes fall closed for a bit when Niall pressed their lips together shortly before going over to what seemed to be one of his favorite activities, scattering kisses over Liam's face, his warm breath hitting the older boy all over, warmth spreading inside of him. This was so nice, he softly held onto Niall's arm, kinda liking the way the boy was almost halfway on top of him.

When Niall stopped the kisses and his hand left the older boy's stomach, Liam couldn't help but let out a whine, causing Niall to chuckle as he moved, kinda over Liam a little bit and the older boy opened his eyes to check what he was up to. "Are you gonna lie on top of me?"

"No, I just wanted to reach the lamp. But I could keep on lying here if you want me to." Smirking, Niall stretched out his arm a bit more until he managed to turn the lights off, plunging them into darkness and making Liam flinch a bit as he unexpectedly pressed their lips back together, giggling into the kiss. 

Having Niall on top of him felt really good, Liam loved how close and pressed together they were with no distance in between, he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist to make sure he stayed there while kissing back, thinking that this night couldn't have turned out any better, like, it did kind of feel like a celebration after all. "Congratulations on the win, Nialler…"

"Thank you." He was giggling yet again into the darkness once they had pulled apart and Liam couldn't help but join, feeling the vibrations going through the younger boy's body as he rubbed his hand up and down his back. "You know, I might become captain next year."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me that, that's great!" Liam wasn't exaggerating, he really did find it great and he was so happy for Niall because he knew the boy always thought he wasn't that good at anything and he had sounded really excited. 

"I forgot… but yeah, that'd be so cool, imagine… you'd be dating the football captain." There was another chuckle as he pecked the older boy's lips once more before suddenly snuggling his head down against Liam's neck, pressing a kiss over his pulse as Liam tightened his arms, Niall's soft hair tickling his skin, his breath going evenly against Liam's throat. "But it's not decided yet anyways."

"Just being considered is great though, and I'm happy to date you either way, so…" The fact alone that Niall was talking about still being together next year was kind of amazing for Liam, like… of course he didn't plan on when they would end it or something, it was just nice to know that he wasn't the only one taking this for a longer thing. A much longer thing.

For a while, they just kept on lying there like this, under the blanket, Niall on top of Liam while the older boy absently drew patterns onto his back over his shirt, listening to each other breathing and Liam almost passed out a few times, forcing himself to stay awake though whenever he felt Niall shifting a tiny bit, sometimes kissing his skin. "Hey, Li…"

"Yeah?" Having to clear his throat a little, Liam hoped that his voice didn't sound too sleepy, but they were whispering for some reason anyways so it probably wasn't too noticeable.

"Have you… have you told your parents about… you know about the break?" Right, Liam had forgotten to tell Niall about that, he had called his parents a few days ago and they had been kinda thrilled about Liam bringing a friend home. 

"Yeah, they are excited about it, my mom's already getting an old mattress from the basement for you I think. But she won't notice if you sleep in my bed, I didn't tell her that we… you know, because I didn't know if you'd mind, so." Liam hadn't exactly lied after all, he had just asked whether it'd be alright if he brought someone with him and then all his mother had asked was his name and whether he was nice and then she had also asked what he liked to eat and when Liam had said pretty much everything she had been more than thrilled. It was true though.

"Okay… thank you, Li, I… I mean you can tell your family if you want to, just… I don't know…" He seemed rather unsure and Liam hugged him tighter, kissing the top of his head after some hesitation.

"It's okay, we don't have to do it now and I think we're rather good at not letting anybody notice anyways." Liam didn't want Niall to feel uncomfortable at his house, he was just always hoping the boy would change his mind about all of this, but unfortunately he knew why Niall was being like this and Liam knew that things weren't gonna magically change, all he knew was that he'd be here for the younger boy with whatever might come. And hopefully Niall knew that too. "By the way, I also told the other guys that you'd come and they weren't even that surprised, like, I was a bit scared they'd ask questions or so but they didn't."

"Really? That's good… I think… I think they'd never actually think we were together unless we'd tell them." Yeah, because they were convinced that Niall was straight as hell, just like everyone else, even Niall himself, but Liam couldn't say that of course, he could hear the boy's voice shaking slightly and decided to let it be, there was no use going over this again and again when the situation wasn't gonna change. It was one thing Niall would have to figure out himself, if he refused to admit to himself that maybe he liked boys too then Liam didn't know how to tell him that it would be alright if he did. "I mean… we'll have to at some point, but…"

"It's okay, Niall, we got enough time to do it, no need for them know anyways." It'd be nice to tell them the truth, but Liam would survive not doing it, it was for Niall after all, whatever he wanted.

"Okay… thank you, Li. I know I'm being annoying about this but I-"

"Hey, sh, you're not being annoying about anything, okay? It's fine and I understand, I just wanna be with you and I get to do that so it's alright for me." Talking like this was easier when it was dark and when Niall was the one who got unsure, Liam was rubbing his hand up and down the boy's back slowly, sometimes through his hair too, hoping it was somewhat calming because the blonde boy tried to snuggle even closer.

"Still…thank you for being so understanding…" He almost only breathed out but Liam heard him since it was so quiet, he smiled a bit sadly into the darkness, placing another kiss into Niall's hair and getting one back right on his throat.

"Anything for you."

 

———————

 

Liam was kinda sleepy the day they packed some stuff up to go home on wednesday after the football game. Maybe it was because the trains cost a lot less in the morning and they'd take a while to actually get home, but he was still very glad for having his friends here because it'd make time pass by a lot faster. Well, his friends and his boyfriend, who somehow managed to be excited even though they had barely slept last night, mostly because Liam had been terrified of oversleeping and Niall had wanted to watch this movie on his laptop until the very end. Something they could even tell the others this time because Liam had officially slept in Louis' bed since the older boy had been at Harry's, with the excuse that they both needed to get up at the same time anyways. Well, the only slight difference to this was that in reality, Liam had never touched Louis' bed in any way. 

"Did you tell your parents how Niall is like? Can't believe they agreed to letting you take him home." It was their favorite joke for some reason, ever since they had met up this morning to go the train station and Niall still got slightly upset over it. "And anyways, I don't think he's gonna fit in Loki's dog bed, you might have to sleep on the floor, Nialler."

"Is that where you slept whenever you stayed at Liam's?" Niall seemed a bit upset but he tried to overplay it even if Liam could tell that he was pouting a bit, feeling bad but at the same time knowing that it was just banter and that the younger boy would pay Louis and Harry back at the first chance he got. 

"Be careful what you say to me, Niall, mine and Liam's mum get along really well, they're like the biggest rumor mill around." Which was very true unfortunately, Liam could remember quite a few very embarrassing times where his and Louis' mothers had somehow come to the very wrong conclusions, he tried to tell his best friend to shut up by glaring at him but Louis just chuckled, of course carrying on. "Remember that one time they thought me and you were a thing?"

"Lou-"

"What? Is that true?" Of course Harry immediately sat up at this, his face kinda surprised as he stared at his boyfriend and Liam tried his hardest not to look over at Niall now, hoping that he didn't take this as literally as Harry. Luckily Zayn had slept in somewhere next to Liam or he would have maybe come up with his own stories about when they had been younger.

"Yeah, it's totally true. Because Liam had a crush on this boy and he asked me and Z for help but Zayn immediately pulled out so of course I had to sleep over and help him figure out a plan and-"

"Wait, is this one of the stories were you two practiced kissing or something? Because if yes, then please don't continue." Niall interrupted immediately, but he seemed more than amused as Liam sighed in defeat and leaned back, blushing slightly when Niall winked at him. This was not the kind of conversation he wanted to have here, especially not with these people.

"Wait, you snogged Liam, Louis? Why'd you never tell me?!" Harry honestly sounded a bit upset, and Liam got it, he would've clarified this himself if Louis hadn't laughed and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, shaking his head to everyone's relief. They hadn't snogged after all, not even close, Liam would've rather killed himself actually, like, nothing against Louis, just…

"No, we didn't practice kissing you idiots, we were just trying to figure out what Liam should say and his mum heard us and she thought he was saying these things to me and then she thought we were secretly dating or something and made a really big thing out of it, it was actually kinda funny. For me, not for Liam." Well, talking about secretly dating, Liam was really glad that Niall was just laughing, hopefully not thinking as much about it as the older boy. "But then when she asked us we told her the truth and that's actually how Liam came out as bi. Wait… sorry, did Niall even know that? Didn't wanna out you, Li, sorry."

"It's fine, I…I told Niall before, he knows." He better did, god, why was this getting so awkward so quickly, like, Niall was really good at brushing all of this off but Liam on the other hand had no idea how red his face had really gotten once Niall had thrown an arm around his shoulders, squeezing a bit. 

"No worries, known it since a while." How could he have not known that actually, even Louis should have guessed that, they all knew that Liam had told Niall that he had a crush on him, even if they didn't know that they were dating, how unnecessary was this conversation? 

"It's kinda funny though, isn't it? All of us like guys except for you and Zayn, and I haven't met anyone on campus who does." How was that any funny at all?! "Maybe we'll convince you to switch sides, Nialler, watch out."

Okay, now, this was maybe getting a bit too far, Liam wasn't quite sure about the appropriateness of this conversation, Niall's arm around his shoulders felt quite heavy, now Liam really wished he could've been asleep like Zayn. At least Niall hadn't lost his humor, he was too good at this, too good at pretending that he and Liam hadn't had sex last night in the room Louis usually slept in. "Sorry to disappoint you, Lou, if you were planning on leaving Harry for me then it was for nothing, if I'd ever have to pick someone, it'd be Liam."

Oh god, he really needed to stop that before Liam did something stupid like kiss him on the mouth or giggle like a fucking idiot, he actually had to try and be somewhat serious and not act like a proud boyfriend here. "Aww, now that's really cute, maybe Liam didn't make such a bad choice deciding to take you home."

"Definitely not." Liam threw in, just to say something, he couldn't bite back his smile any longer, hoping that he wasn't being too obvious throwing a glance at Niall, flushing slightly when the younger boy grinned at him before pulling his arm back again.

"Well, you don't know that Niall sometimes sleepwalks at night though, Li, maybe I should've prepared you." Shrugging, Louis might have thought he was smart by saying that and Liam almost bursted out laughing, holding back though because well, he couldn't exactly tell anyone how many nights he had spent with Niall and none of this had happened.

"That's not even true, Louis. But I do know that you snore, Harry even confirmed that when I asked him." See? Trusting Niall not to spoil a secret would be so easy because he literally always knew the right thing to say, just simply switching the topic without any further incidents, causing Harry to get a bit smaller in his seat while Louis looked over at him and Niall just sat there grinning because he knew that no one could ever win against him. And it was true. 

They were on the train for another hour or maybe even longer, it didn't really feel like it for Liam though because at one point Niall said he really needed the toilet and Liam kinda automatically told him he'd go with him and no one really thought anything of it. 

Turned out Niall really did need to pee and Liam should've maybe been a bit turned down by the fact that the boy had no shame peeing while Liam was in the room with him, but he kinda didn't care one single bit, not saying no when Niall came over to kiss him afterwards. After washing his hands though, like, they weren't _that_ gross, but they did come back with their lips slightly swollen, which no one seemed to notice either, like, it was almost too easy to hide it, especially when Zayn was asleep since he was the one who always noticed things first.

When they got off of the train though, Liam kinda started feeling slightly nervous again, especially once Louis told them that his mum was picking him and Harry up and that she had offered to drive them all home. Although, offered was maybe the wrong term because Liam knew that they wouldn't be able to talk themselves out of it, especially not because his mum would have heard about this in less than half an hour.

"Oh, look, she brought the twins." Alright, now they'd definitely not have much space in the car left, good thing that Zayn had already gotten himself out by telling them he had a taxi waiting for him, which obviously had been a lie but Liam couldn't have even been mad as he hugged his best friend goodbye. 

So now it was only four of them left, and Niall seemed pretty excited about all of it, walking maybe that tiny bit too close to Liam, but no one noticed because Harry and Louis were holding hands, more focused on what Harry had pointed out before as they were walking towards Louis' mum's car. She had indeed brought the twins and they looked really excited, even from that distance. "I kinda missed them, you know, even if I didn't miss being woken up at 6 am by someone knocking a Barbie against my head."

"Sounds like fun." Niall chuckled, his face was really bright as Liam threw a look over at him, he couldn't believe how happy the boy was about being here, hopefully that wouldn't change once they got to Liam's house because he himself felt more nervous than Niall seemed to be. 

"You two can sleep over one night and experience it first hand if you want to." They were definitely not gonna do that, Liam had slept over at Louis' house enough times to last a lifetime and it's not that it had been so awful, it's just that he didn't wanna give up a night with Niall where it was just the two of them.

Before anyone could respond though, one of the twins had spotted them and Liam obviously had a hard time telling them apart from the distance, which didn't matter too much though because despite the fact that Louis' mum tried to stop them from running over to them, they both did anyways, with a very loud and high pitched "LOUIS!" that gave Liam goosebumps. It was cute though, no doubt, but he was still glad his own sisters were over the age of 7.

"Hey, guys, did you miss me?" Louis actually had to drop his bag so he could get down a bit and hug them both at once while the others just watched, Liam found himself smiling a bit, it's like, he's known Louis and his family for so long, it was kind of a familiar, nice feeling to see them like this.

"Yes, I did, Louis, pick me up?!" When Louis let go again, the twins had a hard time agreeing who got to be picked up by their older brother, but they weren't as light as they used to be once so he had to settle for only one of them, leaving the other one pouting.

"Sorry, Daisy. Maybe Harry or Liam want to pick you up? Look, they're here as well, did you say hi? Do you remember Harry?" Harry had come home with Louis a few times, but not that often, maybe that explained why Daisy threw a rather unsure look at him when he smiled, instead going to Liam with outstretched arms. Which kinda made sense considering she knew him so much better.

So Liam had no choice but to smile at her, not really minding that much at all though when he picked her up, pretending to have a hard time while doing so just to make her laugh. "Did you just run away from your mum?" 

"Yeah, she said we have to wait but we didn't wanna wait… Liam… who's that?" She had lowered her eyes while asking, arms around Liam's neck and leaning a bit closer but Niall could still hear her talking about him very well, he just chuckled though, still in the best mood ever and Liam could feel the boy's stare on him and Daisy. 

"That's Niall, he's mine and Louis' friend and he's staying with me. He's nice, I promise." The twins always acted kinda shy when meeting somebody for the first time or when they didn't know them very well, like Harry, but they usually always got over it within an hour or two before they became their own personal playground, Liam knew them as well as if they were his own sisters, it was kind of funny.

"Hi, Niall…" She was speaking rather quiet, leaning closer to Liam, shyly looking at Niall but Liam didn't worry one tiny bit, after all, he knew how great Niall was with kids and how it would probably cause his heart to melt again in a second.

"Hi, nice to meet you, your name's Daisy, yeah?" See, it just came out of Niall like he was doing it every day, he had his sweetest smile on and Liam actually had to remind himself to hold Louis' sister a bit tighter so he wouldn't drop her as she nodded a bit. "That's a really pretty name. And that's also a really pretty shirt you have on, do you like Frozen? I surely do."

And then Niall had obviously said the exact right thing because her face lit up like the sun as she hurried to agree and Liam was pretty sure she would've liked to be held by Niall way more than him already, she barely even noticed her mother coming over to scold her and her sister for running off, too caught up talking with Niall. The thing was, Niall really did like that movie and he had made Liam watch it with him, twice, and he really wouldn't have done that if he hadn't liked the younger boy so much.

"Phoebe, Daisy, you can't run off when I'm telling you no, there's cars driving everywhere, understand? Don't do that again!" Actually, there were no cars at all, but Liam didn't say anything anyways as Louis' mum arrived, he was more focused on not letting his arms get tired and trying to understand how Niall was able to hold this conversation with a seven year old. 

"But, muuum, Louis is here and I wanted to be first." Phoebe complained, there would've surely been a fight now between the twins about who had been the first to hug Louis, but her sister was luckily being distracted by Niall, talking about things that Liam couldn't even follow anymore. 

"That's no excuse, you better pray your room is clean when we get back home." And then her strict face disappeared as she finally properly looked at Louis, smiling before pulling him in a hug, as far as that was possible while he was still carrying his sister. "Hello, love, how was the train ride? Was it okay?"

"Hi, mum. Yeah, it was fine, a bit long, but you know, nothing new." When they pulled apart, his mum kissed Louis' cheek before going over to hug Harry as well, she probably loved him as much as her own children, Liam was pretty sure.

"Harry, how are you? Did Louis behave over there?" Harry laughed at this while Louis tried to protest, just rolling his eyes though in the end, saying something to his sister instead.

"Sure, he always does, my parents love him. You really gotta meet them sometime, they'd love that." Listening to that conversation was a bit strange, mostly because Liam couldn't even tell his parents about his own boyfriend, it did get him slightly sad, but he was quickly distracted by Louis' mum touching his arm after he had gotten lost in thoughts for a moment. 

"Liam, are you okay? Your mum is so excited about having you home, we talked on the phone before and I told her I'd drive you over." Which was exactly why Liam couldn't have said no, but he just smiled anyways, readjusting Daisy a bit in his arms, she had stopped talking to Niall now, instead playing with one of her wristbands. 

"I'm really good, thanks. And also for driving me… us, I mean, that's Niall by the way, he's staying with me over the break." She probably knew that as well because she went to shake his hand immediately, the blonde boy wasn't only great with kids and other students, but also with parents as Liam figured out right there.

"Oh, I heard a lot about you, Niall, nice to meet you, finally. You're Louis' roommate, right?" Had Louis talked about him? Probably, Liam really hoped that he hadn't mentioned some details, for example the fact that Niall had… slept with quite some amount of people, because that would mean his parents knew about that as well and that wouldn't be a very great start at all. 

"Yeah, that's me, and very nice to meet you too, Mrs. Tomlinson. Hope Louis didn't say too many bad things about me, I'm trying my best." Really, Niall could have said anything really because his face was just so gorgeous and likable, even Liam had a hard time feeling any emotion besides happy while watching him, almost dropping Daisy once more as she moved again.

"And mummy, Niall likes Frozen too!" And that's how Niall had basically won her over, he even got told to call her by her first name and all that, Liam was a tiny bit proud maybe, and less nervous now, Niall was handling this all so well, hopefully this was gonna go just as well with his own parents and sisters.

When they walked back to the car, Liam was still carrying Daisy, he almost put her down because he wouldn't have been able to hold both her and his bag, but Niall had already picked it up, winking at the older boy as he continued walking next to him, letting himself become involved in yet another discussion about Disney movies. God, why was Niall with kids so fucking cute that Liam couldn't hold back his dumb smile the whole time? 

It wasn't a very long car ride, but Liam was still glad he ended up next to Niall, feeling the boy pressing closer into his side than necessary, resting his hand on top of Liam's arm for a while when no one was looking and having a conversation. They hadn't had much alone time today other than in the early morning and then the time they went to the bathroom on the train so naturally, Liam was beaming to get Niall to himself for a few hours, hold him and kiss him however much he wanted, like of course they'd have to spend some time with his family now, but the thought of tonight almost gave Liam goosebumps. 

"Thank you so much again." As they hopped out of the car, Liam almost laughed at seeing Niall ruffling Daisy's hair and not hearing her complain, she seemed to really have taken a quick liking to him. But then again, how could she have not, this was Niall after all. 

"No problem, Li, tell your parents I said hi, alright? And you and Niall should come over during the break if you have time, you haven't been over in ages." Well, that was true, Liam smiled and nodded, making sure to wave goodbye to Harry, Louis and the twins before going to get their bags from the trunk. 

"Thanks for driving us! Bye guys!" Niall sounded a bit over motivated as he came after Liam, a huge grin on his face as he slung his own bag over his shoulder, his hand coming to a rest on Liam's lower back because obviously, no one could see them behind the car and the older boy already felt slightly hot. This was gonna be a very interesting break for sure. 

After they drove off, Liam needed a second or two just for him and Niall, like, he was pretty sure none of his parents knew that they were in front of the house yet or they would've come outside, plus there also weren't that many windows on that side so he didn't feel too nervous about slipping his fingers through Niall's as they slowly walked towards the main entrance. Of course Liam was excited to see his family, but he'd see them in a few minutes anyways. "Are you nervous?"

"No… I'm actually not nervous at all, I'm sure your family is great. And Louis' mum was really nice too, and his sisters are cute, I can see why you guys like coming home so much." There was a soft smile on his lips as Liam checked, he felt slightly bad now but didn't have a lot of time to think about it because Niall had already leaned forward to peck his mouth briefly. "And you're really cute too when you're holding a child, you know… but you're really cute in general so that doesn't surprise me too much." 

"I… thanks, Niall… you too." Which was very true, but Liam was slightly surprised by hearing this out of Niall's mouth, his cheeks flushing slightly as he returned the smile.

"Thanks, we're gonna be such great dads for our kids." Of course that was a joke, but Liam almost fell up the front porch at this as Niall giggled, still holding his hand tightly. "Li, I was just kidding, you know."

"Yeah, I know, I… " Clearing his throat a bit, Liam tried to not actually think about what Niall had said, like the thought of them ACTUALLY being together for so long and having kids got Liam feeling a bit weird. Like… it wasn't an off putting thought at all but he didn't want to seem clingy or anything, that would've come off as a little bit too obsessed and creepy probably. Only slightly.

"But it's still true though, kind of… I mean, imagine we'd actually do that, and now we're just joking about it but then in the end we actually end up adopting children and staying together and…" And then Niall broke up, maybe because he realized where this was going, not that Liam minded too much or something, just… he hadn't thought Niall would be this kinda guy, had never expected him to think about these kinda things, but then again… it kinda fitted to him as well, that he thought about one day having a family of his own, it caused Liam's stomach to go all warm and fuzzy, just the thought of being together for so long. "Anyways, um… should we like… go inside or so? If your mum's really that excited to see you, I mean… I bet she is."

"Yeah, probably, I… let's go." Before the situation would get even more awkward, but Liam still couldn't help but pull Niall a bit closer again, holding his hand a bit tighter as he stole another kiss, just before they wouldn't be able to do it anymore for a few hours. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Niall's smile had quickly come back, he gave Liam's fingers a good squeeze before pulling his hand away slowly, still keeping on standing that bit too close to Liam as he pressed the doorbell, not bothering to look for his house key when his parents were gonna open up for them anyways. 

It didn't take very long, but Liam felt his palms getting a bit sweaty again, he really wanted Niall and his family to get along, like, what could be more important than that right? Like, no one knew that they were dating but they would know eventually.

When his mother finally came to open the door after what seemed a lot longer than it had actually been, Liam actually had to hold his breath for a moment or two, barely daring to look over at Niall as he waited. "Liam, honey, is that you?"

"Yeah, it… it's us, mum." Being home felt so good now, Liam had had felt homesick way too often during the past few weeks, like yeah, it had decreased ever since Niall and him had gotten together, but still nothing came close to being here and seeing how happy his mother was to see him, it was amazing. "Hi, mum."

"Oh, my boy." Liam didn't even feel embarrassed when his mum hugged him a bit too tight and long, kissing his cheek a few times and Liam closed his eyes for a moment, smiling a bit when he heard Loki barking from somewhere in the house. This was exactly what he had been missing and the fact that he had Niall with him made all of this even better. "Are you alright, Li? How was the train ride? Are you hungry?"

"I'm good, mum, thanks…and yeah, I… I'm a bit hungry." Slightly, but his stomach felt really warm already as he pulled back, seeing his dad coming outside as well. "That's Niall, he… he's Louis' roommate." 

"Oh, hello, Niall, I'm so excited Liam has found such good friends already, you're very welcome here." Thank god, she really seemed to be as happy about this as she had sounded on the phone, ignoring Niall's outstretched hand and just pulling him into a hug as well, seemingly surprising him a little bit. 

"Thank you so much, I… for letting me stay and all, I really appreciate it." Since this seemed to be going alright, Liam went to hug his dad before going down onto his knees so Loki wouldn't have to try and jump up his legs the whole time, wagging his tail like a madman while trying to lick at Liam's fingers. God, how much had Liam missed that. 

"I'm telling you, he knew you were coming, he was being all hyper the whole day long." Liam's dad laughed, ruffling Liam's hair a bit before walking past him and Liam got a bit nervous because he had forgotten about introducing Niall, but turned out there was no reason to, Niall was handling this all brilliantly. "And you must be Liam's friend? Niall?"

"Yeah, that's right, sir. Nice to meet you." They shook hands and Liam thought his mother's face must've been hurting already from smiling so much, she liked Niall already, definitely.

"I almost got lunch ready, boys. Liam, if you wanna show Niall the house then be quick, yeah? We'll be eating in fifteen minutes." Not that Liam had expected anything else really, it was all going just as good as he could've hoped for, picking up Loki so he could show him to Niall, but also because the dog wouldn't really want to move off of him anymore.

"Thanks, mum, we'll be quick." He got another kiss on the cheek for that, this time it caused him to turn a little bit red but only because Niall had been watching so obviously, a huge grin on his face to Liam's relief. He'd hate for the boy to feel uncomfortable or anything. "Ni, you wanna meet Loki?"

"Oh, sure! Hey, buddy." Niall immediately came over to stroke the small dog in Liam's arms, flashing him a grin that got Liam's cheeks a little bit redder, still returning it though as he watched Loki licking at Niall's hand as well, his tail still wagging in excitement. "He's so cute." 

"He likes you, when he met Harry, he was barking the whole time." That was maybe a little bit made up, but Liam just wanted to make Niall happy and also, he just wanted Loki to like Niall more than his other friends for some reason. "Dad, are Ruth and Nicola coming too?"

"Yeah, they'll be here for dinner. I'll go help your mother, alright? We'll call you when lunch is ready." Hopefully his sisters wouldn't look at them and immediately guess that there was something more going on, it's only now that Liam thought about this, but he could remember how they had been when he had brought his very first boyfriend home, he really wouldn't wanna put Niall through that. 

"Okay, thanks, dad." After he had left, Liam pressed a kiss on top of his dog's head before putting him back on the floor, quickly checking whether his parents really were gone before pulling Niall a bit closer with an arm around his waist, trying to keep it quiet. "You alright?"

"I'm more than alright, babe, don't worry." And then Niall laughed before placing the quickest kiss on Liam's lips, already going back to collect his bag while Liam was still busy thinking about how badly he just wanted to grab the boy and pull him back in closer again. "So, you gonna show me your room or is it too embarrassing?"

Maybe it was a little bit embarrassing, but when Liam saw that smirk, he just nodded automatically, thinking that it didn't really matter after all, he knew that Niall would probably have fun seeing some of his stupid posters he had never taken off, but just being here and having Niall with him made Liam not care about any of that. Nothing could ruin his good mood now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, the next chapter might take 4 days to upload, i just finished chapter 12 while being on the train and let me tell you, DO NOT write smut on a train. anyways, i hope i'll manage to finish chapter 13 until tuesday, if not i'll update wednesday!


	12. Chapter 12

Having Niall at home with him honestly made Liam worry about how he would ever come back here one day without the boy. He showed the younger boy the whole house, only briefly though since they had to be down for lunch, but Niall still seemed to enjoy himself, he was holding Liam's hand the whole time they were upstairs since no one would be able to see them and Liam couldn't help but throw in a quick snogging session in his room.

Niall found his posters hilarious, also the pictures of Liam, Louis and Zayn of when they had been younger, not as much as the fact that Liam's mum really had put a mattress for him next to Liam's bed though, even with blanket and a pillow and sheets. Well, they'd have to mess that up really well so she wouldn't notice that they were both gonna sleep in the bed. And thank god Liam's parents' room was all the way down the hall. 

Not that they were being especially loud during the first night, they basically just hung out with Liam's family all day until his sisters came and Liam was kinda worried whether Niall would find this boring or not, but turned out he had great fun drinking beer with his dad and making everyone laugh with his rather flawless accent impressions.

Actually it was amazing, Liam felt like such a proud boyfriend, he couldn't imagine this going any better, or Niall giving smarter answers to any questions, not even flinching or using any bad words while talking about his own family and why he hadn't flown back to Ireland over the break. What was better than your boyfriend getting along perfectly with both your family _and_ your best friends? Right, nothing at all, except maybe for the fact that he would've liked them all to know about their relationship, but that could wait, right?

They went to bed rather early that night, making out for a while just because they finally could again, but nothing further, they were both too tired and Liam found himself being happy with just holding Niall and talking to each other until they eventually passed out all tangled up in each other.

Which was also how Liam woke up the next day, with Niall's hair in his face and the boy's head on his arm, having allowed Liam to be the big spoon last night. Like not that he didn't enjoy being the little spoon, but sometimes Liam liked feeling protective of Niall and just hold him, he was smaller and younger than him after all, not much, but it was still noticeable. 

For a bit, Liam just kept on lying there, tightening his arm around Niall's waist and making sure he stayed just as close as he was, his back pressed into Liam's chest, their fingers still intertwined. They just fit together like that, both ways around, and Liam loved going to sleep like this and waking up in the same position, it almost gave him a hard time lying in bed by himself sometimes.

When he kissed the back of Niall's head a few times, he felt the boy stirring a bit, only to hold tighter onto Liam's hand though, pressing back against him as Liam tried to keep as still as possible so he wouldn't wake the younger boy. Would've been a lot easier though if he hadn't been so cute while being asleep and if Liam wouldn't have felt an urge to prop himself up on his elbow just so he could stare at Niall's face. How had he gotten this lucky?

It was kinda dark in his room but Liam could still see the younger boy's features faintly, enough to press a kiss onto his cheek, letting his lips rest there for a while just because he could. Being here now after all felt pretty unbelievable, Liam hadn't even known that he'd be able to find a relationship like this, a secret one but nevertheless better than any of his others had been. And they had only been together for about a month. 

Looking at Niall like this, when he was asleep and snuggly and soft, it was kinda hard to believe that he was loud and confident most of the time, it rather had Liam tightening his arm as he continued placing kisses, feeling more protective than anything else. Somehow this was good though, it was the same as when Liam topped when they had sex or when Niall got hurt or talked about his family and the older boy took care of him, it balanced them out.

When Niall started stirring again, mumbling nonsense in his sleep, Liam knew he should've stopped touching him all the time but he just couldn't bring himself to do it for some reason, keeping his lips pressed up against the boy's temple, slowly breathing out as felt Niall slowly coming awake. "Hmmm… s' the matter?"

"Nothing, go back to sleep, Ni." Liam whispered against his skin, very well aware that he was probably not gonna do that, Niall held on tighter to his hand, pressing himself even more back against Liam's body if that was any possible. 

"How… how late s' it?" His voice was almost only a breath, it was thick with sleep, making Liam smile because he loved how Niall sounded in the morning, and when he was like this, all warm and pressed up against him under the blanket.

"I don't know… I just woke up a few minutes ago and my mum hasn't come bursting into the room yet so I'm assuming it's not that late." Well, she probably wouldn't have done that anyways, but it was enough for Niall to start wiggling around until Liam let him turn, not loosening his arm though as soon as they were face to face. That was even better.

"She'd do that?" Sounding a bit less sleepy, Niall made no attempts yet to get out of bed so Liam put his head down again as well, smiling softly as he pressed a kiss onto the younger boy's forehead, his thumb rubbing over Niall's hipbone where his shirt had slipped up. 

"No, I don't think so. Unless it was like, afternoon or something, but we're good, no worries, she wouldn't stay long enough to notice you in my bed." If she ever noticed, she wouldn't need any of that sort of proof, it still made Liam a bit nervous to think about being confronted with that, but maybe they were playing their parts well, maybe they really just come off as good friends in front of his family. So far, no one had thrown any weird looks at him or attempted to talk to him alone so they were still safe. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" Niall had seemingly relaxed at that, his eyes were dropping closed again as Liam kept the soft strokes of his finger tips up, feeling at peace just lying here like this in silence, it almost seemed like there wasn't anything wrong in any way at all. "You?"

"More than okay." Liam whispered back, smiling slightly as he leaned in to softly kiss Niall's lips, not surprised at getting barely any reaction back, the younger boy made some sound though, cuddling in closer until they foreheads were almost knocking together, his hand twisting into the front of Liam's shirt. "You wanna go back to sleep?"

"No… just resting my eyes a bit…" He was so cute when he was so sleepy, Liam just wanted to wrap him up in a blanket and keep on holding him, but this was just as good, their legs touching, Niall's warm breath barely hitting Liam's skin, he could've kept on lying here forever to be honest. "Li… "

"Yeah?" It sounded as if Niall had fallen back asleep but then he blinked a few times, releasing a breath as Liam's hand moved down his bare back.

"Thank you for bringing me home with you… this is so much better than staying at the dorms and… your family is really nice and I'm so glad I won't have to miss you." The fact that he sounded so genuine even though his voice was thick with sleep got Liam's heart melting a bit, he was so glad Niall enjoyed being here just as much as he loved having the boy with him. "And I'm also glad we get to spend so many days and nights together…"

"Me too, Nialler. Trust me, my family likes you too and I'm so happy I asked you to come and that you don't regret it." And also hopefully wouldn't start regretting it, but Liam would make sure he wouldn't, they were gonna make the most out of this break and the time they had together. 

"Why'd I regret saying yes to spending time with you, hm?" There maybe was a tiny smile that Liam couldn't quite see in the darkness, but he sure as hell felt Niall's hand moving until he could trace the outlines of Liam's face with his fingers, limiting that tiny distance between them to catch the older boy in a soft kiss, pushing against him a bit harder than before.

They didn't deepen the kiss for too long, but Liam cupped the back of Niall's head to make sure he stayed close, quickly realizing that the blonde boy left him the upper hand, lazily kissing back when Liam slipped his tongue into the boy's mouth, letting out a breath. 

Maybe this should've been a bit gross since they hadn't brushed their teeth, but Liam didn't really care and neither seemed Niall to do because he didn't pull away either, just slowly kissing until both of them ran out of breath and the younger boy mumbled into Liam's mouth. "You make me so happy..."

There was a moment where Liam needed to progress this before he started smiling and felt his heart aching a bit, he knew Niall meant it, the boy never said anything he didn't mean and it made Liam all tingly feeling. "You make me really happy too, Ni…"

At this, Niall pecked his lips once more, the back of his fingers sliding down the older boy's cheek, caressing his ear for a moment and lightly brushing through his hair, scratching at his scalp a bit as if he knew how many butterflies it gave the older boy. "What are we gonna do today?"

"Hmm… well, we can spend some time with my family but I thought… I thought we could take Loki for a walk and I'll show you around or so… if you want to, I mean, we can also do something else." Not that Liam wanted to force Niall to look at his hometown or anything, but he really wanted some alone time with him and this kinda seemed to be the perfect thing to do. 

"Yeah, I'd love that… can I hold Loki when we're taking him?" Oh, now this was slightly unexpected but it made Liam laugh softly, lifting his chin a bit to press his lips against Niall's forehead. How great was it that Niall even liked his dog?

"Sure, Ni, I bet he'd like that too." How could anyone not like Niall, even an animal, the boy was just too irresistible. "You wanna take another nap before we get up?"

"No… I'm ready, just give me… a minute." Then he turned away from Liam a bit to yawn rather loudly, making the older boy chuckle as he stretched his body before slowly attempting to sit up, Liam's arm still halfway around him. 

"Can I turn on the lights?" The switcher was next to the bed so Liam had no trouble reaching it, but he still waited for Niall to say okay before pressing it down, leaning on his elbow as he blinked against the light, still smiling slightly at seeing how messy Niall's hair really was. "We gotta make sure to mess up the stuff on the mattress too."

"Yeah… I'll do it." Niall took a second or two to move out of bed completely, hissing a bit, probably because of the cold, before simply lying down on the mattress next to the bed, covering himself with the blanket, probably to make it more real looking but also because he was still tired. "Hmm… I think your bed is more comfortable, I might sleep with you again tonight."

Chuckling, Liam decided he should probably get up as well, briefly checking his phone for the time before walking over to pull back the curtains and let some real light in from outside. Hopefully it wasn't raining, although… a walk in the right might have still been nice when you had your own personal sun walking next to you. "Or maybe you decide to sleep in my bed every night, your decision, you know."

"Thanks, I'm gonna think about it." Then he laughed a bit as if amused by his own joke, moving on the mattress while Liam briefly looked outside, it was a bit cloudy, but that'd definitely not destroy their day. "How's the weather like?"

"It's fine, I guess, not too nice, but… oh." Liam flinched slightly when he felt arms wrapping around his stomach from behind, he hadn't heard Niall coming over to him but he immediately felt warmer with the younger boy pressed up against his back, his lips resting on Liam's clothed shoulder for a moment. "Shouldn't keep us from going outside."

"I don't mind some rain though, you're just gonna have to hold my hand really tight so I won't get cold." His breath was warm even through Liam's shirt, he turned his head a bit to reach Niall's temple with his lips, putting his hands over Niall's to keep them there for a moment.

"You know I'd be doing that even if it was burning hot outside." But it wasn't so Liam had even more reasons to and just looking forward to that gave him tingles all over his body.

They remained like this for a little bit longer before deciding to go get dressed, Niall somehow figured out that he hadn't packed any warm clothes at all and that he needed to borrow one of Liam's hoodies so he wouldn't get sick. It was a bit too big for him, but it fitted him rather well and besides that, the older boy could barely say anything when it made him so ridiculously happy to see his boyfriend in his own clothes. It was like visible proof that the boy belonged to him only, even if he didn't really need to show that to anyone around here, it was still kinda nice to see for himself only. Maybe Niall knew that because he threw a smirk at the older boy before placing a chaste kiss on his lips, one last time before they walked downstairs.

"Oh, you're awake already boys, good morning." Liam's mum seemed honestly surprised at seeing them in the kitchen at 11 am, like, that wasn't that early at all, but considering Liam used to always have slept until 1 pm on weekends, maybe this was kinda special to her. "You should bring Niall more often if he gets you to wake up earlier, Li."

"Actually, Liam was the one who woke me up." Niall winked at Liam when his mum wasn't looking, immediately going down to his knees then because Loki was jumping up at his legs, all excited like he always was, immediately rolling onto his back so Niall could rub his belly. "Hey, buddy, how did you sleep, huh?"

"Oh, really? Well, maybe living in that dorm is good for you." She kissed Liam's cheek while walking past, very obviously smiling down at the blonde boy still talking to Loki as if he were a person, almost killing Liam with cuteness. "Do you wanna take him for a walk later? I've gone out with him this morning but that was already a few hours ago and I think he'd like a bit of a longer walk."

"Yeah, sure. I was gonna show Niall around a bit anyways, we'll take Loki too." Just so it wouldn't get too obvious, Liam forced himself to tear his eyes away from the younger boy still kneeling on the floor, instead going over to the fridge. "You want some coffee, Ni? Or hot chocolate?"

"Um… coffee is good, I guess. Thanks, ba-… Li." Oh god. Liam almost dropped the milk as he heard Niall starting to say the b-word, relieved that at least his back was towards his mum and Niall because they would've for sure seen his red cheeks that felt as if they were on fire. Okay, they just needed to overplay this, it hadn't been too obvious anyways, right? Niall was good at acting like nothing had happened. "Or just… just make whatever is easier."

"No, it's fine, I'm drinking coffee too." This was so awkward, Liam felt like his hand was shaking as he tried to operate the coffee machine, it was like his mum knew already but chose not to say anything and Liam knew he was kinda overreacting but he was just being overly worried once again. Then again though, it wouldn't be a problem if his family found out, not for him at least, the only one who'd get nervous about it would be Niall. 

Luckily though, nothing at all happened, Liam kept on making breakfast and Niall continued playing with Loki while Liam's mum was doing whatever, her voice sounding completely normal though as she spoke again. "I'll leave you boys alone for a bit, yeah? I have to do some washing, Liam, did you put your clothes into the basket?"

"Uh, no, but I don't have anything to wash, mum, thanks." He had done that at the dorms a few days ago, with Niall, in the middle of the night with no one else there and it had been kinda funny to be honest.

"Alright. There's some cereal in the left cupboard if you want some." And then she left, it took Liam a second or two, waiting until he heard her walking up the stairs before he allowed himself to release a breath, throwing a glance over his shoulders to see that Niall had gotten up now, immediately locking eyes with him.

"That could've lead to some questions." Liam commented, turning back around to finish making coffee after Niall had shrugged a bit, coming closer. 

"I think she didn't even notice because she wasn't listening. Anyways… I mean if I had said it… do you think she would have said anything?" He actually sounded really nervous, Liam looked back again to see him fumbling with the sleeves of the hoodie he had borrowed.

"No, I don't think so. Not to you anyways… Niall, it's alright." It wasn't nice to see him like this, Liam stretched an arm out towards him as the younger boy looked up briefly, not hesitating before walking over, letting Liam hug him around the waist as he leaned his head on the brunette's shoulder, giving Liam a warm feeling because of how easily he adjusted against him. "Don't worry about it, okay? Even if she found out, she wouldn't confront you, it'd make no difference."

"I know, just…" He hesitated while Liam tried to poor milk into the cup with only one hand, not wanting to let go of Niall or having him step away, he liked how the younger boy was leaning onto him for support. "Just makes me think, you know… about what'd happen if it were my parents instead. I'm just… nervous."

"It's okay to be nervous, Nialler, I get it, okay? I really do, and I promise we'll be careful and that you don't have to be scared about what happens if anyone does notice. I'm here for you, I have your back." Then Liam pressed a kiss on top of Niall's head, wishing nothing more than to be able to truly calm him down, not only like this, but he had no idea how to do that, he wished they could've just sat down and talked about _everything_ that Niall was obviously keeping back. But he clearly didn't wanna talk about it so all Liam could do was telling him over and over again that he'd be there and that it'd be fine.

Obviously though, that wasn't really doing the trick. "Thanks, Li… I know, I just, I… do you need any help with that?"

And that's how Niall dropped the topic again, he pressed a kiss onto Liam's cheek before stepping away though and the older boy told him where the plates were, deciding not to be annoying about it but still feeling rather worried as he watched Niall pretending that he was alright. But what could he have done or said?

 

—————

 

"… and that's my elementary school. But they closed it like 2 years after I was done so now it looks like a really big, creepy, haunted house. Actually, one time Louis dared me and Zayn to go in but all the doors were locked and we were too scared to smash a window." It was true actually, Liam could remember that pretty clearly, they had thought it would be like in one of those movies but they hadn't even done anything more than simply touching the door handle of the main entrance.

"I'd offer you to do it now but I'm scared Loki might give us away so…" Niall pretended to sound apologetic, but Liam saw the smirk on the boy's lips as he looked over, squeezing his fingers a bit tighter. Thanks to the kinda bad weather there weren't a lot of people outside, plus it wasn't like anyone would have recognized Liam, it wasn't that small of a town or anything. Only people who could've gotten them in trouble were Harry or Louis and his family, but they were hopefully at home and wouldn't decide to go for a walk today.

"Can't blame my dog, Nialler, I know you would be too scared to go in there as well and I can't exactly blame you." Although Liam had only been about 15 back then, but staring at his old school from across the street, he didn't feel the slightest urge to limit that distance in any way.

"Well… I just wanna be able to sleep tonight, that's all. Besides… it'd remind me too much of the movie we watched, you know, when we slept over at Harry's house and I… I somehow thought it'd be a good idea to kiss you." He made some sound as if it had been the worst idea ever and Liam pretended to be pouting, almost pulling his hand away out of Niall's but having no chance to actually do it because the younger boy immediately started laughing, holding on a lot tighter. "I'm kidding, Li, you know me."

"I do… unfortunately." Just to tease him a bit as well, Liam smirked when Niall rolled his eyes, his mouth still curled in a smile though as he looked away, probably to make sure to pull Loki along and keep him from eating mud. Again.

"Anyways, what I wanted to say was that that movie was really creepy too and I'd hate for any of that to happen in real life. Just imagine." A slight shiver went through his body and Liam was actually really surprised at hearing this, like, that surely couldn't have happened because of the cold since Niall was wearing one of his warmest hoodies, so the only explanation would be…

"You were actually scared of the movie, oh my god. And you were trying to talk _me_ into being scared just because you wanted to cuddle close because you were terrified of-"

"That's a complete and utter lie, Liam, I wasn't scared, not the slightest bit." Niall shamelessly interrupted, but his cheeks had gotten a bit pink and Liam couldn't hold back his laugh, fondness rushing through him at the same time. How cute was that? So Niall had actually held his hand to calm himself down while still pretending he would be the one protecting Liam, pretending he was the strong one. This sounded quite like him actually. "That's not funny, Li, stop it, I wasn't scared, I'm never scared of horror movies."

"Oh, alright then, whatever you say, Ni." Chuckling, Liam couldn't help but lean over to press a small kiss on Niall's temple, even if he was pouting now but he was just so cute that Liam couldn't have resisted. Good for him that he was less shy and more comfortable with these kinda things now, especially when Niall was being like this. 

"You are an idiot, you know that? I wasn't scared, we can watch a horror movie again tonight and I'll proof it to you." Niall sounded pretty serious while suggesting that and Liam was almost scared he had really upset the boy, quickly trying to come up with a way to change the topic.

"We could do that, but… I was kinda hoping we'd spend tonight a little bit differently." Maybe it was because Liam usually never talked like this, but Niall stared up at him in confusion for a few seconds, his eyebrows raised, and then suddenly a smirk spread across his lips, a very cheeky one, making Liam smile as well. 

"I don't know if I wanna do anything tonight when you're just laughing at me for something that isn't even true." Oh, now he was playing hard to get? Liam actually had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to not burst out with laughter yet again, but it wasn't his fault exactly, he just felt really happy and carefree walking with Niall, holding his hand, not having to hide or be scared about whom they might meet. "Plus, your parents sleep down the hall and we all know you can't keep quiet."

" _I_ can't keep quiet?! You almost broke my bed the first time we had sex, Niall." There was still a smirk on Niall's face, he seemed to be equally as amused as Liam, not looking at him anymore but rather paying more attention to Loki walking next to him and occasionally stopping to sniff had something. He really had insisted on holding the dog's leash. "Does that mean you don't wanna do anything for as long as we're here?"

"That's not what I said… I just meant that, if we want you to be quiet then you're just gonna have to do all the work. And then I also can't break your bed." It took Liam a second and a smirk from Niall to get it before he felt a slight heat coiling in his stomach, he hadn't thought Niall would be convinced so easily, even if they were just joking around, but now he almost hated the fact that it was still so many hours until tonight.

"So… you want me to top?" Not that that would've been the first time, they kinda switched it off, something Liam had actually been quite surprised about, he hadn't thought Niall would wanna bottom since he claimed he didn't like boys and all, and also because he obviously had more experience in taking control when having sex. For some reason though, Niall seemed to enjoy it a lot when they switched roles and Liam couldn't exactly complain about that either, he liked the fact that they could enjoy both equally, that none of them was always top or bottom, it always depended on the mood they were in. And right now, Niall seemed to like the thought of having Liam doing all the work.

"If you didn't forget to pack the lube." Then he shrugged a bit and Liam almost panicked thinking about that he hadn't packed any lube at all before remembering that Niall had it. Which was good because he suddenly wasn't sure anymore whether his mum had gone through his stuff to look for dirty clothes or not. "I'm kidding, Li, I have it, you should've seen how white your face has gotten at the thought of not getting to fuck me tonight."

"Shh, Niall, don't talk so dirty in front of my dog, he's sensitive." But mostly, it caused Liam's cheeks to darken when Niall talked like that and the blonde boy knew that very well because he chuckled, squeezing Liam's hand before almost causing both of them to stumble as he leaned over to kiss the older boy's cheek briefly.

"Sorry, didn't mean to. So, where are we going now? Any more haunted houses I should know of?" Just like that, Niall switched the topic again, and Liam was maybe a bit relieved by that, quickly trying to think of some place he wanted to take Niall to. Wouldn't be too hard, as a kid he had always been running around with his friends somewhere around here. 

"Not exactly, but I do know some other place we could go to, I think you might like it." Actually, Liam was quite sure Niall would like any place he took him to, simply because the boy was in such a good mood the whole time, perfectly mirroring how Liam felt as well.

They had to get off of the sidewalk to get to the place Liam had in mind, there were a few trees, not like a real forrest because there weren't enough for that, but there was a path through that Liam could remember very well from when he had been a child, before he had even known Louis or Zayn. Now though, it looked a lot less creepy.

It wasn't a very long way but they walked rather slowly because they had no reason to hurry. Niall let Loki sniff on almost every single tree, one time they even met some woman with another dog and the blonde boy had no trouble talking about Loki as if though he was his own dog, which was kinda cute so Liam just settled for smiling and holding his boyfriend's hand. 

The path kinda led through something like a park, but it was very small if it could even be called that. Either way, it was nice not walking next to the street anymore while listening to Niall babbling about random stuff, he talked about his next game and how he enjoyed studying way more now that he knew he'd get to be with Liam while doing it, of course causing pride to swell in Liam's chest, he loved hearing about this kinda stuff, loved Niall being all clingy and affectionate,

When they finally did get to the place Liam had had in mind, Niall was ecstatic to his relief, then again though, when was he not? "Sick. You really do know how to keep your man, Liam, bringing him to a playground."

"And this one's a lot bigger than ours." Which was true, and there also weren't any kids because of the bad weather and the time, Liam kinda felt a bit proud of himself for having such great timing. 

"I like that." Niall suddenly threw in, his hand slowly slipping from Liam's as he smiled up at him, confusing the older boy for a second.

"What?" Did he mean the size of the playground? Or did he just enjoy the fact that Liam couldn't follow his words?

"That you called it _ours_. I mean it is kinda, isn't it? I've never seen anyone from campus there, which kinda makes sense though, I mean… I'm still impressed you have nothing against hanging out there with me all the time." Oh. So that's what he had meant, Liam felt his ears getting a bit hot as Niall leaned in to peck his lips softly, wishing he could've kept the boy closer but he stepped back again immediately, his face bright enough to function as the sun they had barely seen anything of today. "My other friends surely wouldn't be very thrilled."

"That's why you're dating me and not them." Liam hadn't been able to keep his slightly possessive side in, feeling himself blushing slightly but Niall just laughed it off anyways, pressing another kiss onti Liam's lips, a bit longer that time.

"Wouldn't want to date anyone but you, don't worry." He mumbled against the older boy's mouth, giving him shivers as he grabbed onto Niall's small hips without noticing, eyes closed as he kissed him a bit harder, hoping that Niall was holding onto the leash because Liam wouldn't have noticed his dog running off right now. He wouldn't have noticed anything except for the way Niall felt against him. 

Sadly, the kiss didn't last for as long as Liam had hoped, it also never got that deep because Niall jerked back all of a sudden in between, a surprised expression on his face and before Liam could ask what the hell had just happened, he could feel it too. It was starting to rain. 

"Shit, I didn't think it'd start that soon." There was more wind now as well and Liam would've been a bit pissed off had he not seen Niall laughing, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie over his fingers to keep himself warmer, a raindrop landing on his cheek. "It won't be long until we'll be drenched, you know, we should get back under some tree or so."

"I've got a better idea, come on." Without waiting for Liam, Niall picked Loki up off the ground, which was a really good idea because then at least the dog's paws wouldn't get too wet, already making his way over to the playground.

"Ni, what're you doing? It's all out in the open, we'll get really wet." Jogging for a few seconds to catch up, Liam was slightly confused, but also, he didn't want them to get sick, which was why he was slightly worried about his boyfriend's intentions. Only for a moment or so though before figuring out what Niall was planning on doing. "Oh."

"Come on, we won't get wet up there." Niall was planning on climbing up into the playhouse for kids, he had already lifted Loki up there before pulling himself up too, leaving Liam no chance but to follow him, even if he wasn't quite sure if there'd be enough space for the both of them. Well… they were used to squeeze together, weren't they? "This is so cool."

"I… I'm not so sure about that." Not quite convinced by the younger boy's excitement, Liam pulled himself up completely just as the rain started to fall down harder, giving them no more chance but to stay up there anyways.

"Sure, it is, Loki likes it too, look at him." Niall had squeezed himself into one corner of the playhouse, making sure not to fall off the other side, his hair a bit wet but he was still smirking, having Loki in his lap who actually really did look like he was having a good time up here and Liam couldn't help but smile as he sat down as well, no chance for them to be on their feet anyways because of the small ceiling.

"He always looks like he's smiling, Nialler." Which was true, Liam laughed when Niall rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around the small dog when Liam reached over to stroke Loki's head, scooting a bit closer to Niall in the process. For saving space purposes only, of course. "I hope it's gonna stop raining again soon, I still wanted to show you something else."

"I don't mind sitting up here though, it's kinda really cool, isn't it? It's like there's no single person around anywhere, I can't even hear any cars from the street, it's like it's just us." That was true, Liam sat silent for a second, drawing his eyes away from Niall to look back to where they had come from, rain pouring down now, hammering rather loudly onto the roof of the playhouse. It really felt like they were the only people around. "I wish it could always be like this."

The boy's words had kinda had a bit of a deeper meaning than expected, Liam turned his head to look at him just to find Niall looking down at Loki, sorting out his fur as the dog had completely relaxed in his lap, obviously liking the blonde boy a lot. "What… what do you mean?"

"I meant… it'd be nice if we could always act like it's just us, you know… like Louis and Harry do. And I know… I know it's my fault that we don't, but that doesn't mean I don't want that… I really do wish we could hold hands on campus and kiss and tell the others about it, but… I just can't." He sounded rather frustrated and Liam couldn't help but reach out, slowly wrapping his arm around Niall's shoulders, relieved when the boy didn't flinch or move away but rather scooted closer until their sides were pressed together, resting his head against the older boy. "I'm sorry you had to fall for me, out of anyone."

"What? Why'd you say that, Niall? I'm not sorry I fell for you, not at all." Was he gonna start doubting himself now? Liam felt slightly nervous about this, he hated when Niall got like this because he didn't want the blonde boy to put himself down, it didn't fit to how confident he usually was. If that was even real, sometimes Liam felt like it was just an act the boy put up, to conceal all his weaknesses, make people believe he didn't have any in the first place.

"It just brings you trouble if anything… I… I should have never agreed to this but now it's too late because I like you too much and I wouldn't wanna change it, just… I wish I could, for your sake." Hearing him talk like this caused Liam's stomach to twist into knots, he wished he could have seen Niall's face, but the blonde was pressing it into Liam's shoulder, so Liam held him tighter in return, his thumb rubbing over the hoodie Niall had borrowed from him. Did he really mean all of that? Did he really think Liam would be better off without him? Just because they had to keep their relationship a secret?

"Niall… this doesn't make any sense at all, if it's what we both want, then why would you wanna change it? You know I don't mind it, we have all the time in the world to figure this out, think about who and when we're gonna tell anybody. Or _if_. I told you this so many times, Ni, what is it that's bothering you so much?" There had to be something else, something Niall was keeping back on purpose, it was kinda obvious now in the way he was fighting for words.

"I just… I don't know how to… tell you, I… I don't know, Li, I'm just… I'm scared and I'm confused and I… I've never been in this situation, I… I haven't been in a serious relationship before." Oh… so that was it? But how could that even be?

"Never? Not once?" Liam was really surprised at this, judging by the amount of girls he had obviously slept with… but then again… somehow that made all perfect sense.

"No… I've never… never liked any of the girls I've been with, it was just… I don't know… fun." Didn't sound like it anymore actually, Liam started to seriously become nervous now, but he tried to pretend like he was all relaxed, kissing the top of Niall's head, wrapping his second arm around the younger boy as well because he tried to cuddle closer, maybe also a bit cold because of the wind. 

"What about… what about any guys?" Sure, it was risky to ask that, but Liam felt like he had to, he couldn't let chance after chance slip without them ever really talking about the real issue, he really just wanted to figure this out.

And luckily, or maybe not, Niall kinda confirmed Liam's theories within a few seconds. "No, I'm not gay…"

"I know." Liam reassured him, his throat feeling a bit tight though as he kept on stroking Niall's shoulder, his stomach twisting into knots as he fought for the right words to say, he felt so sorry for the blonde boy and yet he couldn't say anything to truly help him. "But you did like a boy once though, right? When you were younger I mean?"

"Yeah… the one I told my parents about, but… but it was just a phase. I mean that happens, right? And my mum said I'd grow out of it and I should ignore it, and I did, it was just… a phase. A lot of people have that, right?" Oh god. Liam didn't know what to say, it was like Niall was looking for confirmation now, and everything suddenly made a hell lot of sense to Liam yet he had to pretend that it didn't, forcing his voice to be soft and as calming as possible when really, he wanted to slap Niall's parents hard in the face.

"Yeah, sure, Ni, doesn't mean anything, I was just asking, you know? I just don't want you to think that I'd be better off if I didn't have you because that's not true at all, okay? I like you and I want to be with you, that's all I care about." At this point, Liam didn't know what else to tell Niall other than the same thing over and over again, like… it couldn't be a coincidence, that Niall had been with only girls and never EVER liked any of them, not once, and then at the same time he claimed he also didn't like boys though he was very obviously into Liam and had liked a guy before. It couldn't get any more obvious really, and either Niall really had no clue himself, or he was desperately trying to convince himself, thinking that maybe he wasn't _allowed_ to like boys because of what his parents had said to him when he had been younger. 

"But I feel guilty… because I know you said you like being in relationships and… and I wish we could be in a real one and-"

"We are, Niall. We are in a real relationship and you don't have to feel guilty about anything at all because I wouldn't want to have it any other way. You have to stop worrying about it all the time, Ni, it just drags you down, I told you I understand why you want to keep it a secret and I really do. If there's anything you wanna talk about then we can, any time, but please don't worry about it all the time when there's really nothing to worry about. I promise that everything is alright between us, I like you and nothing can change that, okay? Please believe me, Niall." Because Liam was running out of words, he was scared he was holding the boy too tight by now but he also didn't want to let go, the way Niall pressed into him kinda showed him that that feeling was mutual. 

"Okay… I'm just sorry that-"

"No. You're not sorry about anything, yeah? Nothing at all." Liam felt like sometimes Niall just needed someone to tell him what to do and reassure him, very different from how everyone else saw him. Everyone except for Liam. 

"Okay… thank you, Li. I… I'll try not to think about it all the time anymore." Hopefully that'd work, or if it didn't, hopefully he'd come to talk to Liam, about _everything_ that bothered him, but the longer Liam thought about it, the less likely it seemed to get that Niall would ever do that. 

 

—————

 

They stayed for a bit longer, the rain didn't stop and neither did the wind get any less, but Liam kinda liked sitting there cuddled into each other, they didn't speak for a while until Niall lifted his head, his face nothing near as happy as it usually was, but as he leaned in to kiss Liam, the older boy didn't reject him. Not that he would ever do that.

At some point, Liam decided that they couldn't forever keep on sitting here hoping for the rain to stop, plus it wasn't that early anymore either and Niall was shivering even when Liam rubbed his upper arms and held him close and kept on kissing him. Since he didn't want them to get cold, they kinda had no choice left but to walk home in the pouring rain.

No doubt, it kinda was a bit funny, lightening the kinda serious mood they had been in as they sometimes half jogged the shortest way back, Niall carrying Loki so at least one of them wouldn't get too extremely wet. Didn't help too much though, because they were still fucking drenched when Liam finally fumbled the key into the front door, laughing a bit as they half fell through the doorframe. "Shit… we're gonna drip all over the floor. Don't put Loki down, he's gonna make everything wet."

"Are your parents at home?" Niall's nose was red and there were raindrops dripping down all over his face, maybe he shouldn't have still looked this extremely attractive, but Liam couldn't help but think that he did. 

"I don't know, I…" Liam stopped after taking his shoes off, and his socks as well because they weren't exactly dry either, his eyes falling onto the yellow post it that someone had put up very obviously for them to find, quickly reading through what was written on it. "Oh, they aren't home, my mum wrote us a note, they'll only come back in a few hours, we got the house for us until then."

"Oh. Then I guess we won't be dripping all over the floor." Confused, Liam turned around to unexpectedly get Loki shoved over into his arms, Niall was smirking, hopefully not thinking about before's conversation anymore, but it didn't seem like it when he suddenly pulled the wet hoodie over his head, along with his shirt while Liam just stared, kinda not surprised to see Niall undoing his own belt right afterwards. "If no one's home we can just go upstairs in our boxer shorts, right?"

"Yeah… yeah, I guess we can." That was actually a really good idea, it's just, Liam kinda had trouble speaking and also thinking when his boyfriend was undressing himself here, not completely though, but it was enough to freeze Liam's brain a little bit as he mindlessly watched. 

"Okay, give me Loki so you can take your clothes off as well." He was clearly freezing now, standing there in just his underwear, his arms covered with goosebumps and Liam tried to act quickly then, handing the by now quite annoyed dog over before pulling off his own shirt, feeling the younger boy's eyes on him. "We could also go naked, actually, if you want to, I mean. I wouldn't mind."

"I'm flattered to hear that, Ni, but I really don't wanna take the risk right now. Besides… it's bloody freezing without any clothes, god." It was true, Liam almost fell over trying to take his jeans off more quickly, he felt really gross as well, all wet and dripping, the only thing he was looking forward to now was drying himself off and then cuddling Niall and never letting him go again. Well, until his parents would come home. "I feel really weird doing this."

"Why? We're just being thoughtful so we won't ruin the floor." True, Niall was holding Loki under his arm now so he had his other one free for his wet clothes, damp hair sticking to his forehead and Liam wasn't sure how he could be so attracted to this boy that he almost had to cover the front of his boxer shorts with his own clothes. "Come on, I'm really cold."

Of course their feet were kinda wet at first, but Liam made sure they didn't leave too much of a trail behind them while going to the stairs. Somehow he was still kinda nervous that his parents would catch them in a ridiculous situation like this, but they weren't home of course, and hearing Niall giggle next to him over what they had gotten themselves into kinda helped to calm Liam down. 

Still, their walk could've turned out better in a few aspects, then again though, they had spent loads of time together and it hadn't all been bad, it had just been their talk that always seemed to come up at some point. Liam wished they could've sorted this out for real, but it'd be kinda hard without having Niall's cooperation. 

When they reached the bathroom, Liam made sure to close the door behind them so Loki couldn't run outside and shake himself off somewhere, quickly catching a towel for Niall to dry himself off, also getting one for his dog. "Here, I'll put our clothes into the washing machine later, I'll just dry Loki off, you can go and change if you want to."

"No, I'll stay here, it's okay." Niall had covered himself completely with the towel, now he looked really cute while sitting on the edge of the bathtub, chuckling a bit when Liam got hit in the face with water drops as Loki shook himself off, of course at the same second that Liam got down to rub him dry. 

"Ugh, he always does that, think it's on purpose. Come here, Loki, you can't leave the bathroom like this, mum is gonna kill me." Well, maybe she wouldn't, but Liam didn't wanna cause troubles the second day he was home so he made sure to keep his dog from doing it again, rubbing the towel over his fur so he could get one himself, it really was getting colder by the second. "Ni, maybe you really should get dressed, before you get sick."

"I won't, I'm good… besides, I was thinking that… since your parents won't be back until in a few hours, we could, like… take a shower, right? Together, I mean." He shrugged as Liam looked over, kinda surprised by that, but not in a bad way of course, because, yeah, they really could do that. Only to get warmer, of course. "Unless you don't w-"

"No, sure, let's do that, probably helps us more to warm up, right?" Liam would've winked at him, but he had to dry Loki and also, he wasn't very good at it and it probably would've ended with him blushing and Niall laughing at him.

"Yeah… to warm us up." Niall chuckled a bit, as if he wasn't aware that Liam knew what his real plan was. It was kind of a dirty and wrong thing to do, in the shower that everybody else used as well, but then again, it wasn't like they would make anything dirty, right?

As soon as Liam was done drying up his dog, he let Loki leave the bathroom, locking the door once he had run off, just to make sure, he really didn't want this to be like in one of those movies where his parents would catch him naked under the shower with Niall. "Okay, I'll put our clothes in the washing machine, you can get in the shower if you want, I'll be quick." 

"Okay." Maybe Liam shouldn't have suggested that after all because Niall was pretty quick getting rid of both his towel and also his wet boxer shorts, winking at Liam while the older boy's face got rather red, clearing his throat to hurry up so he could join his boyfriend in the shower.

For some reason Liam had never thought that operating a washing machine could take this damn long and be so very hard, which was kinda ridiculous to think since he had been using this thing for years, only now, with the background noise of the water running in the shower, he seemed to somehow do everything a bit wrong.

When Liam was finally done, he took a second or two to breathe, the shower wall wasn't very see through luckily because he would've been shamelessly staring at Niall washing himself. If that's even what he was doing in there, like, who knows, right? All Liam knew was that once he had gotten in as well, getting clean would probably be the last thing on their minds.

Discarding his boxer shorts somewhere next to Niall's, Liam forced himself to calm down a bit, this wasn't the first shower they took together and it surely wouldn't be the last, no need to be over eager here, just… it was maybe a little bit exciting that Liam wouldn't have to wait until tonight after all. 

Since they had already been drenched before, the sight of Niall under the shower wasn't any different, only his smile was maybe a bit too wide and Liam couldn't help but return it as he closed the door behind himself, pleased to feel the warm water hitting his naked body. Maybe this was to get warmer a little bit as well. 

"I like how you look after getting into the rain, Li." His grin was cheeky and Liam couldn't help but shake his head as he caught Niall shamelessly checking him out. Although, 'caught' was maybe the wrong word since he wasn't exactly trying to hide it. 

"Oh, really? You know what I like?" Being like this was only possible for Liam when he was in a certain mood, two weeks ago though, he wouldn't have brought this over his lips without his whole face being on fire. 

"What?" Niall's giggle was kind of hysterical, the older boy knew he loved it when he talked like that, stepping closer now to place his hands on Niall's hips, stroking up and down slowly, crowding him against the wall and placing a quick smile on his wet lips.

"When you cling to me and moan my name because I'm making you feel so good." See, he was learning rather quickly, Niall's breath hitched for a second before he laughed, a bit breathlessly, moving his arms to wrap around Liam's neck, pulling him in closer until their bare bodies were pressed together as tight as humanly possible.

"I see you're practicing your dirty talk, babe, good for you. And good for me too." He was amused now but everything Liam had said was the complete truth, he really did love when he could _hear_ how good he was making Niall feel, it was maybe the biggest satisfaction he knew.

"Just for you, because I know how much you love it." Which was also very true, for the both of them though, Liam liked it too when Niall whispered these things into his ear while pumping into him, even if he could barely concentrate on them.

"I do… kiss me." And that's what Liam did, hard enough to have Niall sighing into his mouth, grinding their hips together in the way they both liked it because they had done these kinda things often enough to have them figured out.

It was a deep kiss, one that had Niall's fingernails almost breaking skin on the older boy's neck from how desperately he was holding on and would maybe also cause slight bruises on the younger boy's hips from how deep Liam dug his fingers into his flesh, breathing out harshly against Niall's lips every time they shortly pulled apart for air.

There was literally nothing hotter than feeling Niall getting hard against his own erection, how he moaned around Liam's tongue in his mouth, seemingly unconsciously rocking their hips together, clearly begging for friction. And Liam was more than willing to give him that, he hadn't know that they could get so horny and desperate for each other after not doing anything for just a bit over a day, but then again, who could blame Liam, really?

As he pushed his hand in between their bodies, Niall's fingers were pulling his hair a bit, a grunt escaping him as Liam wrapped his fist about bot their erections at once, just applying a bit pressure, rubbing them together slightly, but it was enough for Niall to turn his head with a bit of a whine, breath going hard as it hit Liam's face. "Li… can you just… can you just fuck me? Please?"

Smirking a bit with closed eyes, Liam took his time to answer, jerking them both off slowly, his forehead knocking against the younger boy's as Niall let out a moan that Liam felt in his bones. "Turn around."

Niall didn't turn immediately, he pressed his lips against Liam's once more instead, tightening his arms even more as he licked hotly into his mouth, arching his body towards the older boy as Liam kept on moving his fist around the both of them, kissing back for a while until pulling away with a tiny smile. He was so ready to do this, but he'd of course take time to make sure Niall wouldn't get hurt, he needed some preparation, even if he never really seemed to think so himself. "I don't need your fingers first, I'm gonna be okay."

"Yes you do and no you won't." Liam laughed a bit once Niall had turned around, wrapping his arms around his stomach from behind, placing a kiss on his wet and naked shoulder. The day he wouldn't prepare Niall would be the day hell froze over. "I'm gonna do it anyways, you know me."

"Okay, but… do it quick or I won't last." It almost sounded like Niall was threatening him and Liam couldn't help but chuckle, gently moving one hand down the younger boy's side, kissing up the side of his neck now until he reached his ear, hearing Niall's breath hitch as he whispered just at the same time as one of his fingers was circling the boy's hole. 

"You're beautiful…" Sucking gently at his earlobe, Liam slowly pushed one finger in, waiting for a reaction and smiling a bit against Niall's skin when he felt him moving back, obviously wanting more.

"You're not even looking at me…" Niall almost only chocked out as Liam started thrusting in and out of him, slowly and as carefully as possible, making sure that he'd register any slight sign of pain immediately. "Please…" 

"Don't need to, Ni, I know you are." Then he kissed down his cheek, keeping his lips there and tightening his arm arm around the boy's waist as he lined up a second finger, once again waiting for Niall to adjust before pumping both of them out and back in, scissoring them slightly and immediately getting a grunt out of his boyfriend.

"Li… I'm good, just… just _please_." He was so needy whenever Liam was in charge it was almost funny, but then again, it wasn't really because all of his begging went straight to Liam's dick, also the way Niall pushed his bum back at every thrust, clearly wanting more, the older boy's erection pressed up right against his crack as he continued fucking him with his fingers. And then a third one too, just to be safe. "Liam… Liam, please, I want you, please."

"Okay, okay…" Still, despite the fact that Liam was painfully hard and couldn't wait to get inside of the younger boy, it was kinda hard to pull his fingers out, stop them from gently rubbing against the spot inside of Niall that caused the younger boy to keen. But he had to eventually if he didn't want this to be over before it had even started. "Just tell me if I'm hurting you."

"You're not, get the fuck in me." His slightly aggressive voice made Liam laugh breathlessly as he pulled his hand away, supporting himself against the wall instead just like Niall was, rubbing the blonde's belly a bit before taking a hold of himself to line his length up with the younger boy's prepped hole, teasing him a bit with the head until he got a very annoyed 'Liam!' back, that had him chuckling against Niall's neck.

Being inside Niall was almost more mind-blowing than the time before, Liam had no idea how that could be, all he knew was that he had to hold his breath once he was all the way in, just to savor the moment, pressing his eyes closed for a second because he could've cum like this, with nothing but Niall's hot, tight walls around him, Shit, but that wasn't what he wanted.

"Move…" Niall almost only whispered, shuddering as Liam placed his arm back around his stomach to press them snugly together before pulling out a bit and rocking back inside, biting his bottom lip to strangle his own moan from how good he felt. 

Since Niall clearly wanted it, Liam quickly went faster and harder, loving the way that all the noises Niall let escape gave him chills, the way he couldn't hear anything except for the shower running and their wet skin slapping together and Niall's breath coming out in puffs, sometimes a rather loud moan whenever Liam got the angle right. Fuck, he had never enjoyed sex as much as with this boy, how was that even possible?

"L-Li… please t-touch me… aaah… fuck, please… right t-there…" He almost sounded as if he was sobbing when Liam hit the right spot again, trying to angle his thrusts more now, making sure to get his prostate every time he pushed in, dropping his hand from the boy's stomach to wrap around his erection instead. "Liam…"

"I'm here…" Liam moaned out, pressing his lips against Niall's shoulder as he jerked him off in time with his thrusts, thumbing over the head because it always made the younger boy go crazy. "Come on, Ni… you can l-let go… c'mon."

It only took a few more thrusts before the younger boy cried out, his length pulsing in Liam's fist as he came in white spurts over the wall and the older boy's hand, pushing back against him as Liam sped up a bit, riding Niall through his orgasm and at the same time chasing his own. He was almost surprised when he was brought over the edge as well, not being able to hold back because of the way Niall clenched around him, the way he moaned Liam's name repeatedly, somehow managing to get them to come at the same time even if they barely ever did. But it was honestly mind blowing.

When they came down together, Niall just kinda let himself fall against the wall and Liam buried his face in the boy's neck, breathing out heavily against his skin, his palm circling Niall's tummy, making sure to keep him close as he scattered breathless kisses over his skin, not wanting to pull out just yet.

Moments like these were Liam's favorites, when he just got to hold Niall close, no one talking, just feeling each other, seeking each other's arms, maybe that was why he mouthed against Niall's skin, not thinking but wishing he would've been brave enough to say these words out loud for everyone to hear, not just himself. "I love you…"


	13. Chapter 13

Liam was positive that he really did love Niall. 

It had only hit him right there in the shower, when both of them had still been breathless and he hadn't been thinking when he had mumbled it against Niall's skin, inaudible though, with no chance for the younger boy to have heard it.

But when Niall had turned around to kiss him again, long and soft, clinging to him while they were washing themselves for real before getting out to dry off, Liam hadn't been able to take his eyes off of him anymore. It's not that his deep feelings for the boy had only hit him now, it's just… he had suddenly truly and really become aware of just how hard he had fallen for the boy, how much he loved every single thing about him, no matter how small it may have been. 

He loved Niall and he couldn't tell him because he was scared it'd freak the younger boy out. Or even worse, maybe he wouldn't be ready to say it back and if there was anything Liam wanted to avoid with every fibre of his body, it was putting pressure on Niall, especially since he was so sensitive about this topic already.

They were surprisingly tired when they got to Liam's room, both only putting on some boxer shorts before Niall had to yawn really badly and went to lie in Liam's bed for a bit, his eyes almost dropping closed before the older boy had even slipped underneath the blanket with him, making sure to have closed his bedroom door before.

Though it was far too early to go to bed, they stayed like this for a while, in silence, listening to each other's breathing and the rain outside, warming each other up underneath the blanket, their bare skin touching in almost every possible place.

Liam had no idea when they slept in, all he remembered was them talking for a bit, kissing slowly and then how Niall had curled into his side, pushing his face into the older boy's chest before nodding off, Liam not far behind, his arms wrapped tightly around the younger boy's body underneath the blanket.

When Liam felt himself coming awake again, Niall was stirring a bit, moving next to him, the room suddenly a lot darker than it had been before. How long exactly had they taken a nap for? "Li…?"

"Yeah, m' here." Trying to get his orientation back, Liam rubbed his eyes before grabbing onto the younger boy again, blinking into the darkness, hopefully it wasn't too late already, his parents were surely back as well by now. "You okay? Are you awake?"

"Hmm… no, I'm tired…" Niall's voice was barely audible, he just mumbled somewhere against Liam's skin, trying to press himself even closer, his arm wrapping around the older boy's stomach as Liam pressed a kiss on the top of his head.

"It's fine, go back to sleep." Well, they probably should have gotten up because they wouldn't be able to fall asleep at night otherwise, but Liam couldn't bring himself to tell Niall that, not when he was all snuggled up into him, letting out some sound when Liam started rubbing his bare back evenly, feeling strangely awake after their nap. It was hard thinking about getting out of bed though when Niall was clinging to him like this, little puffs of air hitting Liam's chest whenever the younger boy breathed out. But lying here like this when his parents were home maybe wasn't a very good idea either. "I'll go check for our clothes, okay? You can sleep, I'll be right back."

"No, stay." Like expected, that wouldn't be very easy, Niall immediately held on tighter, as far as that was even possible because he seemed to be more than just tired, actually, he sounded half asleep and it almost physically hurt Liam to try and sit up now. 

"It's fine, Nialler, I'll be right back, yeah? I'll bring you some hot chocolate from downstairs, okay?" Maybe that would help a little bit, it didn't seem like it though, Niall just whined while Liam made sure that the boy's head hit the pillow since he had been using Liam for that, not managing to immediately leave though. Niall just was too cute to just be left alone like this. 

"Don't go…" It was almost only a whisper but Liam felt really bed nevertheless, even if the blonde's eyes were closed and he immediately adjusted when Liam pulled the blanket off himself to tuck Niall in, make sure he stayed warm since he was barely wearing anything at all.

"I'll only be gone for a few minutes." He was at the edge of passing out anyways, yet still, Liam couldn't help himself but smooth some hair out of the boy's face before pressing a kiss onto the expose skin, then another one just because he could, leaving his lips there for a moment. "Sleep, Nialler."

There was no response so Liam didn't feel too bed about climbing out of bed, immediately going to find some sweatpants to put on, and a shirt too because it was pretty cold without a blanket and Niall to cuddle with. It was still raining outside even though 3 or more hours had passed since they had randomly fallen asleep. 

Right before Liam wanted to leave, he threw another look back at Niall to see that he had turned onto his back, rubbing his eyes a bit before staring at Liam in the half dark room, stretching his arms out towards the older boy. How could anyone have not given in at this? "Liam… I need a kiss before you go…"

"Is it essential?" Liam was just joking of course, chuckling a bit over how cute Niall was when he nodded as the older boy walked over, just leaning over the blonde, supporting himself with his hands on either side of Niall's head as the younger boy's arms curled around his neck, pulling him down until their lips met. "You know I'll only be gone for a few minutes, right?"

"Yeah… kiss me again." So that's what Liam did, only softly though, not deepening it in any way, mostly because Niall barely responded, he did hold onto the older boy but he seemed to be too tired to properly kiss Liam back.

"Okay, go back to sleep now, you won't even notice that I'm gone." Pecking his lips once more, Liam slowly reached back to undo Niall's arms around his neck, taking his hands to pull them off softly, kissing one of them while Niall's eyes were already half closed again.

"Hmmm…" Was pretty much all he brought out, seemingly exhausted, so Liam decided to force himself to leave after one more kiss on the blonde's forehead, not looking back again because that would've only caused him to stay there even longer. 

Their clothes were gone for some reason, another proof that his parents were already home again, so his mother had most likely put them up to dry, the other thing that Liam noticed was that there was some noise coming up from downstairs so he and Niall definitely weren't alone in the house anymore.

Since he had promised the blonde boy hot chocolate and also because he wanted to say hi to his parents, Liam decided to go to the kitchen, luckily having appropriately dressed himself, although… it was his family, he had been in boxer shorts around this house already.

His dad was in the living room, only briefly looking up as Liam walked past to say hi, but his mother was another topic. She was in the kitchen, cutting some vegetables as Liam entered, feeling slightly hungry at just the thought of dinner. "Hi, mum."

"Oh, hello, love. How was your walk?" She sounded pretty casual, so of course Liam didn't think anything of it, only bending down shortly to stroke Loki's head before getting milk out of the fridge, his thoughts still kinda stuck with how Niall's lips had felt against his, not that that was anything new, but it was something Liam would probably never really get used to because it gave him so many tingles and happy feelings.

"It was good. We got in the rain though, so I put our clothes in the washing machine, thanks for taking them out." Hopefully she wouldn't ask about the blonde boy, Liam didn't know how exactly he should have explained that he was sleeping in his bed, but it's not like his mum was gonna go check, right?

"No problem. Did Niall like what you showed him? He's a really nice boy, I'm glad you made such good friends already, Li." Of course she liked him, Liam had known that already but it was still nice to hear, got him all into that proud boyfriend mood again while he continued making hot chocolate for the both of them. "And the others are friends with him too, yeah?"

"Yeah, we all get along really well, so that's cool. We hung out at Harry's house a few times, it was good. I'm really glad I transferred now that things turned out like this, I mean… in the beginning I wasn't so sure, but now… " Now he had a really great relationship, which was of course not what he could say though so he was just hoping his mum wasn't gonna keep asking about it. She probably would though, she always wanted to know everything about Liam's life for some reason and up until now, he had had no problem telling her.

"I'm really glad you're happy with your decision, love, that's the main thing. I was a bit worried about you that one week you called so often, but I'm glad you have your friends there now. And made some new ones too." The tone in her voice was a bit different in the last sentence but Liam barely noticed, he was more busy putting the right amount of chocolate powder into Niall's mug, not quite sure how much he liked since they usually never really made any themselves. "Did you fall asleep upstairs? It was really quiet when we came back."

"I… yeah, we took a nap, you know, we were kinda tired I guess, it wasn't planned but… we were also a bit cold so we just lied down for a while and then slept in. Niall's still asleep actually, he's really hard to wake." Immediately once it was out, Liam felt his cheeks and ears getting hot, trying hard to overplay it but feeling nervous at the same time. That was probably not something he should've known of.

"Does he even want any hot chocolate or are you making two for yourself?" She laughed, lightening the mood a bit and Liam tried his hardest to somehow force himself to join. Suddenly the microwave was taking a bit too long to warm the milk up. 

"No, I… I think he does want some, he was kind of awake when I asked, so…" Kind of. And then they had kissed like 5 times or something, maybe this wasn't going to go as smoothly as Liam had thought, he was too nervous now, constantly thinking it was written right across his forehead or so. But she couldn't know, could she? They had been careful and all, no one could have noticed. 

Luckily, the microwave was done before Liam's head could explode with worries, he almost burned his finger trying to take the mugs out, quickly setting them on the counter then to stir them up. Maybe he should have skipped that tiny step. "So Niall's sleeping well on that mattress, yeah? It's kind of a bit old, I wasn't sure."

"Oh… no, he's fine, he… he can sleep anywhere." Again something Liam shouldn't have said but it was too late now, he just wanted to leave the hot chocolate here and leave actually. But then it was too late.

"I was just asking because I was wondering why he slept in your bed instead." There it was. Liam almost choked on nothing at all, his face on fire as he couldn't even look over at his mum anymore, he just simply froze on the spot, eyes fixed on the counter, not daring to move, as if that would somehow make it undone. Shit, how had she found out?! "Liam, it's alright, you know, you don't have to hide it from us, you had a boyfriend before as well, we're happy for you."

"How… how'd you find out?" After only two days?! There was no point in trying to talk himself out of it really, Liam just automatically gave in, this was his _mother_ for Christ's sake, he couldn't lie to her like that, especially not when it was more than obvious already. Niall was gonna freak the hell out. 

"Well, I can't say you have been keeping too much distance between the two of you and I know the look on your face when you like someone, Liam, you're my son. But I actually just wanted to go up and check if you guys were alright when we came back and I knocked on your door but you didn't say anything so I walked in because I always do when I have to water your plants. I wasn't that surprised to see him in bed with you though, actually, I think it was very sweet. He's a cute boy, Liam, I don't know why'd you wanna hide him." Great. His mother had seen them cuddling in their sleep, thank god they had been under a blanket and in boxer shorts, Liam allowed himself to turn around with a sigh now, leaning against the counter while staring at the tiles on the floor. Should he just tell her the truth?

"I… I'm not hiding him, mum, just… he doesn't want us to tell anybody. No one knows, not even Zayn and Louis." Sounded really pathetic to be honest, Liam felt himself blushing even more if that was any possible, at the same time though, he felt strangely relieved. Telling someone felt a lot better than expected, even if he felt guilty about having his boyfriend asleep upstairs and completely unaware.

"Oh dear. How long?" That didn't sound very motivating at all, Liam just shrugged a bit, hoping his dad wasn't gonna come into the kitchen as well now.

"About a month…" And then because he felt kinda bad, Liam couldn't keep himself from carrying on, he didn't want this to come across in the wrong way, but most of all, he didn't want to make Niall look like the bad guy. "But it's not what you think, I know he really does like me and that he's being genuine with me and I wanna be with him and we spend lots of time together, but… he doesn't wanna, like… come out. He has trouble with his family and… he told me he's not gay, like, he always gets really weird when we talk about that, but… he's never been in a serious relationship before and I mean, it's not like he's shy or anything or doesn't… get any girls if you know what I mean, but… he said he's never liked anyone like he likes me. And isn't that weird? That he still claims he's more than straight?"

"Sounds like he's really scared, Liam. I mean, I don't know what's with his family or anything like that, but if he's so scared of liking a boy that he wants to keep it a secret from everyone then I'm sure it must be a serious reason." Well, yeah, Liam had kinda figured that out already as well, he felt like an asshole talking about Niall like this but it's not like his mother would tell the younger boy or anything, she just wanted to help, like always, and Liam suddenly really wanted that help.

"It is… he told me he liked a boy when he was a kid and he told his parents and they got mad, told him it's just a phase and all. He said they're really homophobic… and his brother goes to our uni as well. But he still claims he's straight though, I don't know… I think there's stuff he's not told me." Saying it like this made everything pretty clear, but it also kinda dragged Liam down as well, he felt so bad for Niall, he just wanted to go upstairs now and cuddle him until they both would have forgotten ever having had any problems in their relationship.

"Well, if you're saying it like this it sounds pretty clear to me, he obviously doesn't wanna admit it to himself, maybe doesn't even really know what to feel. And if he's scared of what his parents might say, it makes sense that he's also scared about what anyone else might say. He didn't get any positive reactions as a kid from his family, he doesn't expect any now." Yeah, that was exactly Liam's theory, it was a bit frustrating to not get a solution for his problems, but at least now he had a second opinion as well. And his mum always knew what to do, right?

"I know and I really wanna help him, but I… I just don't know how." He was definitely not doing a good job here leaving Niall all by himself and letting their hot chocolates get cold behind him, Liam just couldn't believe he was here talking about all of this when ten minutes earlier he had thought his mother hadn't noticed anything at all.

"Liam, I think you're doing a great job just being there for him. And you brought him home with you because I assume he didn't want to visit his own family and he seems really happy about it. I wouldn't have expected him to have these kinda problems, he seems so cheerful, doesn't he? But, love, you can't do anything other than be patient with him and let him come to you when he needs to talk. I know how much you always care for others and that's not a bad thing at all, I just don't think you can do anything here. It has to come from him." She was probably right, like always, Liam sighed a bit before rubbing his palms over his face, not flinching when his mum squeeze his shoulder a bit. "If you really wanna be with each other then I'm sure you two can figure this out." 

"I hope you're right, I… just please make sure he doesn't find out that you know, okay? It'd make him so nervous and I don't want that, I really want him to feel comfortable here." Knowing Niall, that'd probably ruin their break, but Liam wasn't too worried about that when his mum kissed his cheek before going back to preparing dinner, throwing a smile at him when Liam was finally brave enough to look at her again.

"Of course not, Li, I'm not gonna say anything at all, promise. Just go and make sure to wake the sleepyhead before dinner, yeah?" See, it could've been this easy all along, Liam breathed out a bit, relieved as he finally grabbed the two mugs again, still not sure whether he should tell Niall about this or not. But he couldn't really, could he?

"Okay… thanks, mum." Feeling slightly uneasy yet still a tiny bit relieved, Liam turned to go, but still hearing his mum say something like a very emotional 'my boy' that left him smiling a bit as he headed for the stairs again.

All the way to his room, Liam fought with himself, trying to find arguments for and against telling the younger boy, but when he came into his room, seeing Niall half asleep but sitting up on his bed with hair in all directions and still managing a smile for when Liam came in, he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He couldn't put the boy through this now, he was gonna wait, as hard as it was, he was gonna wait and leave Niall as much time as he needed. Liam loved him too much as to ever do or say anything that would ever cause Niall any discomfort.

 

——————

 

A break could go by really fast, that's what Liam noticed about the time he and Niall spent with his family, but it was good, really good actually, exactly the time away from uni he had needed. More, the time alone with Niall he had wanted. 

They didn't do that many exciting things, Liam was just relieved to know that his mum wasn't acting any differently towards Niall after she had found out, neither did any of his other family members and Liam had no idea whether they even knew or not. Maybe not, but then again, it's not like it mattered now because Niall was happy and cheerful and that's all Liam needed to feel the same.

Another thing was that they never met up with Harry and Louis or Zayn, none of them asked and Liam kinda also didn't want to, he just wanted to not share Niall with a single person for a few days, like, it's not as if the boy ignored him around the others or anything, quite the opposite actually, but Liam still enjoyed it much more when it was just the two of them. For very obvious reasons.

Which was also why it suddenly felt a bit hard to be away from each other again, the first night was maybe the most difficult, but Liam knew they'd have to get used to it again so he tried not to ask Niall to sleep over too many times during the following week. What was really obvious though, because even if Liam was trying kinda hard to not be too overly attached, Niall was attached enough for the both of them.

Though they were still keeping their relationship a secret of course, it was kinda noticeable that Niall got a bit more reckless, something Liam couldn't help but enjoy of course, yet at the same time he was still worried. He knew that Niall wasn't ready to do this, even if they had never talked about it again, so of course he was unsure of what to do, like always to be honest.

"I'll quickly go and take a shower, I'll be right back." Niall's smile at Liam was way too big, for a moment the older boy almost thought he was gonna grab and kiss him right there, in front of Louis, but he settled for just that then, getting his stuff before slipping out into the hallways, still in his football clothes.

"I can't believe you're still going to watch his training, Li, it's boring as hell." Louis chuckled when Liam went to sit on Niall's bed, not feeling weird about it anymore, it's not like it was a secret that they got along well. _Really_ well.

"I don't really mind it… and he always asks me if I wanna watch so I say yes and then do homework there or something." Or just watch Niall running around and think about how fucking attractive he was all sweaty and blushed, but that's of course not what he said, Liam just shrugged, watching while Louis seemed to be looking for something in his part of the room. 

"Actually, I was quite surprised he even went there today." Well, that was a bit confusing, Liam almost thought he had overheard something, but… why wouldn't Niall go to his training?

"Why wouldn't he?" He felt slightly dumb for having to ask, even more because Louis threw a kinda unsure look at him, hesitating for a second.

"Because he's been having a few headaches lately and didn't feel too well in general… didn't he tell you? I gotta admit he's kinda really good at overplaying it but usually he used to always moan around whenever he was slightly sick, so I was a bit surprised too… " What?! Why did Liam not know when his own boyfriend was feeling poorly? He really hadn't noticed anything at all, either Niall had lied to Louis or he really had chosen not to tell Liam, but… why wouldn't he? Maybe because he didn't want him to worry or something, but that was just ridiculous, Liam needed to know whenever Niall was feeling bad.

"No, he didn't tell me, I… why'd he tell you and not me?" It came out a bit wrong, jealous almost, but Liam couldn't have cared less right now, he was definitely gonna talk to Niall about this.

"I have no idea. There's a lot of things about Niall that keep me wondering to be honest." True, unfortunately, Liam hoped his face was somewhat normal, he was just staring at the carpet now, trying to relive the past few days to figure out how exactly Niall had hidden this so perfectly. But hadn't they moved past the point where he kept things like that from Liam? "Maybe he told me because he wanted to make jokes about how my snoring has given him the headaches in the first place, he was laughing too so it can't be that bad. Don't worry about it, Li, I'm sure it's nothing and your boy will be fine."

"He… he's not my boy." God, just don't fucking blush now, Liam.

"Well, he's certainly no one else's right now though." Of course Louis was just teasing, chuckling as he continued to go through his stuff and Liam got slightly suspicious but at the same time… yeah, he did feel a tiny bit proud as well, embarrassingly enough. Although it was kinda surprising that Louis said these kinda things, wasn't he always so worried about hurting Liam? And he didn't know they were dating. "How was it when he was home with you by the way? We haven't really talked since then I think, not without Niall there anyways."

"It was good… my parents love him, even Loki does, so…" What else could Liam have said? And then we slept in my bed every night and I really miss that?

"Well, I'm kinda really glad you and him are like best friends, I gotta say… in the beginning when you transferred here, I felt really guilty, like… that we couldn't always hang out and all, but Niall is so fond of you, ever since that… thing happened you guys just became closer if anything. And you're fine, right? I mean…" Well, would they have NOT been dating then Liam would have been fucking miserable, but since Louis didn't know that, Liam couldn't act too casual either.

"Yeah, I… I'm fine. I mean as long as we don't get drunk at any parties anymore…" Awkward, Liam actually took his phone out now to type a fake text message, hoping that Louis might get the hint and let it drop, but it didn't really seem to be this easy after all.

"I guess that wouldn't be a good idea. I still wanna know why it happened though, I mean, you probably don't wanna talk about it anymore and I understand, just… sometimes I wonder if he's as straight as he says. If I didn't know better I'd think he was crushing on you, I mean the way he's behaving around you… I've never seen him act like that." Awesome. This was just great, Liam had no idea how to reply to that or how to keep his cheeks from turning even redder, all he wanted was for Niall to come back so they'd be forced to end the conversation. "Sorry. I really don't wanna, like… pour salt into old wounds, I was just… wondering."

"It's fine, I mean… we just get along really well, you know?" That was literally all Liam ever said and no one seemed to find it weird, even Louis just never answered to it, apparently just taking it like that. Then again though, it was slightly strange that he brought this topic up all the time, shouldn't he have been worried about hurting Liam by constantly talking about it? Apparently not.

Niall came back only a few minutes later, his hair was wet, he was wearing some sweatpants and a shirt that looked a bit too familiar to Liam before he almost choked while staring at the boy, instead breaking out into a quick coughing fit. Shit, that was _his_ shirt. "Hey, guys… what's wrong, Li?"

"Nothing." Liam somehow managed to croak out, of course having brought all the attention on himself, Louis slowly went to sit on his own bed, hopefully not knowing the insides of Liam's closet very well. Was Niall having fun playing with the devil like that?

"Sounded like you were dying for a moment, Payno." Chuckling, the blonde boy just threw his dirty clothes somewhere on the ground before climbing on the bed next to Liam, barely even hesitating before lying down, his head of course in the older boy's lap, completely ignoring Louis' presence at the other side of the room. Unfortunately though, Liam couldn't do that because he felt his best friend's stare more clearly than he would have wanted to. "Sorry, I just realized my hair is wet, should I move?"

"I… no it's fine, don't worry." Hell, Liam couldn't have cared less about his sweatpants getting all wet, he just carefully rested his arm on the boy's stomach, just because it would've been slightly weird not to. But also, he really wanted to touch Niall in every way possible, just looking down at him briefly, Liam already wanted to slam their lips together, they hadn't kissed anymore since after one of his classes in an empty restroom and that hadn't been very romantic.

"He's like your own personal playground by now, yesterday I thought you were gonna strangle him when you hugged him like that." Apparently this was a joke because Niall laughed at Louis' comment, having his phone out to text someone but in a way that Liam could clearly see every single word written. He was texting Zayn some very weird story that he had already told Liam two times today.

"Liam likes it." Sadly, he really did, the brunette boy tried to not act too awkward about it, it's just… how could he have not been. "Right, Li?"

"I… I don't think I have much of a choice." That had to be good enough, at least Niall chuckled, playfully hitting his arm which felt more like stroking though, causing Liam to blush slightly more while trying his hardest not to meet Louis' eyes. Moments like these, he really wondered how anyone could have not guessed it by now.

"Come on, don't be like that, Liam." Then he dropped his phone and Liam couldn't do anything but stare as the younger boy turned more towards him, his palm coming to a rest on Liam's wrist on his stomach, barely holding on. 

But it was still enough. "Woah, guys, do I need to leave the room or something?"

"Don't be a twat, Lou." No idea how Niall could stay so calm and casual during all of this when Liam literally felt like he wouldn't have brought a single word out, it was like Niall didn't care anymore when in reality it was probably the complete opposite. 

It wasn't too late, but it was a tuesday, so of course Louis was gonna stay in his own room and Niall couldn't just randomly go with Liam to his own room. Sure, he could have told Louis he was just gonna sleep at someone else's room, but he had told Liam that he didn't wanna do that anymore, that he didn't want the others to think anymore that he slept around when he wasn't. That was an improvement, right?

Still, it made time pass by a lot faster knowing that they'd have to part again, Liam hated that bit, specially because Louis was there as well so they couldn't even do a proper goodnight, they had to settle for a simple hug by the door and luckily the third boy was around the corner, hopefully not watching. Or listening. 

"I want to kiss you…" Niall's breath hit Liam's neck when he whispered, his arms tightly around the older boy's waist, way too long already to still be appropriate. And Liam was hugging back just as tightly of course, he really didn't wanna have to go but they had classes tomorrow and all. 

"Louis is right there." Liam could actually see him over Niall's shoulder, not fully and the older boy wasn't paying any attention at all because he was on the phone with Harry, but Liam was still more than nervous about pressing a very quick kiss to the side of Niall's head. "I'll give you a real one tomorrow, I promise."

"Yeah, okay… " There was a sigh, the blonde boy squeezed Liam a bit tighter, lingering in the hug for a moment before attempting to turn away after what seemed way too short, his face wasn't too happy as the older boy looked at him again. "Goodnight, Li."

"Sleep tight, Nialler." Attempting a smile, Liam quickly realized that it wasn't gonna help, he rubbed Niall's hip softly before fully letting go, not daring to call a goodnight for Louis too in case that would've gotten them unwanted attention. And turned out that that really was a good idea because when Liam already had his hand on the door handle, Niall lost his mind or something because he leaned forward all of a sudden, pecking the older boy's lips right in the same room with Louis. He really was trying to kill them both apparently.

Having to leave with tingles all over his body and Niall's taste on his lips was kinda even harder, Liam managed a bit of a nervous smile before forcing himself to leave, trying his hardest not to miss Niall the second he hurried up the stairs or have his slightly sad face popping up in his mind. It only hit him now that he had forgotten to ask the boy about feeling sick, but he hadn't seemed like it at all either, maybe he had just been messing with Louis or something, surely Niall would have told him if it were serious, right? Liam could still ask tomorrow when they were alone again, they really needed to go into his room for a few hours and just be for themselves or he was gonna go insane.

That was the only downside to having taken Niall home really, now Liam was getting greedy and Niall was getting reckless, not a very good combination if you were trying to keep a secret as big as this one.

Luckily Liam was already slightly tired when he got to his room, he had already showered long before so he didn't need to anymore now, he basically just went to bed, smiling a bit over the fact that Niall had already texted him a really sweet goodnight message. He was so good at that, it was hardly believable that he had never been in a relationship and that he claimed not to be anything close to romantic or whatever.

After texting back, Liam decided it'd be best if he just went to sleep, the sooner he'd manage to do that, the sooner he'd get to see his boyfriend again and that's really all he wanted, really, he had no idea how much longer they could hide this before both of them would go insane.

Of course, sleeping in was a bit of a pain in the ass, but Liam managed to do it somehow, luckily not having forgotten to turn the volume of his phone up and set an alarm, he tended to forget about that lately whenever he was texting Niall until way too late at night and then not also almost overslept but also almost passed out in class. 

Maybe he shouldn't have been too hopeful for tonight though.

Somehow Liam felt like his night had been way too short when his phone went off, also, it wasn't even his usual alarm, it sounded more like his actual ringtone. Searching around in the darkness and with closed eyes, still half asleep, Liam somehow managed to find his phone between his sheets, his eyes stinging as he stared at the display, needing a second to even make out any words before he was suddenly more than awake. It was Niall.

What the hell was he doing, it was 3:30 in the morning, Liam actually felt his hand shaking a bit as he quickly picked up, pressing the phone to his ear with a more than rapidly beating heart. What if something had happened to him?! "Niall? What's wrong, what's the matter? Are you okay?"

"I, um, I'm okay, but…" His voice sounded really weird, but he was also whispering for some reason, maybe to not wake Louis or something, like it was the wrong moment for it but Liam felt better knowing the blonde boy had still chosen him over their other friend. "Just… can I come to your room?"

"Ni, it's in the middle of the night." Right as it was out, Liam wanted to slap himself, he had said it automatically, shocked by the question and not really having considered it, he was a fucking idiot for telling Niall no when he was literally calling him up because something was clearly wrong and the boy wanted to be with him.

"I-I know, but I… I really need you n-now…" There was a sound at the end that had Liam sitting up straight in under a second, that couldn't have been a sniff, right?! He couldn't have been crying, impossible.

"I'm sorry, Ni, I… of course you can come to my room, do you want me to come downstairs and get you?" Feeling even guiltier now that Niall had admitted that he needed him, Liam had already flicked the light on his bedside table on, about to get out of bed when Niall released a shaky breath.

"I… I'm actually… in front of your door…" And he only said that now?!

"One second." Liam forgot to hang up with how fast he got to his feet and almost ripped the door open, the light from inside his room shining into a very sleepy and exhausted looking Niall's face, his eyes were kinda shiny if Liam wasn't mistaken, immediately causing his stomach to drop uncomfortably. "Ni, what's wrong?"

There was no one in the hallway obviously, Niall just stared at the older boy before hanging up the phone and putting it into his pocket, opening his mouth as he lowered his eyes again, looking at Liam's shoulder now instead of his face, as if he had suddenly gotten embarrassed. "I…"

Then nothing. Liam waited for a second or two, about to speak up again and openly express his worries because he was going insane here not knowing what was going on. But then Niall did the least expected thing ever, his face scrunched up and before Liam knew what was happening, he had two tight arms wrapped around him and Niall's face pressed into his shoulder as the boy sobbed. Yes, _sobbed_ , he was fucking crying. "Niall, hey, hey, what's wrong? What happened? Please talk to me, Ni, what's going on?"

No answer, Niall just kept on crying and Liam just stood there, hugging him back tightly before finally realizing that he should maybe close the door just in case someone walked passed, pressing his face into the blonde hair afterwards. Liam had never felt as clueless as now, he literally had zero idea what might be going on, hearing Niall cry was so bad, it shattered his heart into a million pieces, what in god's name could have caused _Niall_ to cry like this?!

"Babe, what happened? Did you have a bad dream?" The 'babe' just slipped out, Liam couldn't have cared less anymore, he had no idea what to do, Niall was holding on as if he never had the intention to let go again and all the older boy could do was hold him, place kisses on the top of his head and rock them gently, his tiredness forgotten. 

"N-No…" Niall sobbed into Liam's shirt, turning his face to press against the older boy's neck, his tears wetting Liam's skin. "I-I…"

"You what? Ni, you can tell me, I just wanna help you, babe, please talk to me, why are you crying?" Liam felt so protective now it was insane, he had seen a few of Niall's weak sides but this was on a completely different level, this didn't make any sense at all and it didn't fit to him. The fact that Niall had come here in the middle of the night because of something, because he needed Liam, because he couldn't deal with it himself whatever might have happened when he usually kept things to himself until Liam had to ask questions over questions. This must have been really bad. "Nialler…" 

"I-I… I-I c-can't s-sleep…" He tried to breathe in, almost choking on air then and coughing a few times while Liam petted his back softly, not quite sure what to make of this, that couldn't be the only reason.

"Why not, Ni?" Maybe he had had a nightmare after all, but would that really have caused a reaction like this? Hoping it calmed the boy down a bit, Liam kept on kissing around his head and rocking him, he would've moved them to the bed but Niall probably wouldn't have even agreed to look at him.

"B-Beause… I f-feel l-like s-shit a-and… a-and m-my h-head h-hurts…" Oh. He was fucking sick, that was the problem, now Liam felt like an absolute idiot for not having asked before when Louis had told him. But then again… Niall had shown no symptoms at all, he couldn't have overplayed it if he had had fever or something, he hadn't even been too warm or anything.

Of course, that's not what Liam said, he did feel a bit calmer now that he had an explanation, even if it worried him that Niall was freaking out so much because of this, as if he was gonna die or something. "Hey, shsh, it's all good, yeah? I got some things here and you'll take it and then you're gonna feel all better, okay, Ni? I promise, it'll be okay, I'm here, I'm not leaving you alone."

"L-Li…" Another heartbreaking sniff, it seemed like nothing could calm him down in any way, he was shaking too, really badly, Liam felt the vibrations going through his own body, holding on tighter in return.

"Yeah? What's the matter, babe?" His voice was soft, even if he wanted to freak out and panic, but he couldn't do that now, he needed to be properly there for Niall.

"S-Sorry…f-for w-waking y-you a-and-" And then he was interrupted by a hiccup and Liam was sure this couldn't get any worse now, knowing he couldn't properly calm his boyfriend down was maybe the worst of it all. Or more the fact hat Niall hadn't told him about feeling poorly before. "A-And f-for b-being s-so h-hysterical…"

"Shh, you're not, and you don't have to be sorry at all, I'm glad you woke me, I want you to come to me when something happens or when you're feeling bad. I'm always here for you, remember? No matter what or when, I'm here, alright?" There was a tiny nod that Liam hopefully didn't only imagine, he placed another big kiss on Niall's head, holding him for a while before speaking up again when the sobs got a bit more quiet. "Can you please look at me, babe? Please, Nialler."

It took a few more kisses and sweet words before Niall finally agreed to that, loosening his arms only barely as he lifted his head to let Liam see his face, almost killing him with the sight. His eyes were red and puffy, just like his face, tear tracks on both his cheeks with still fresh ones coming, it was awful, truly. Liam hated himself for having let this happen even if he couldn't have exactly done anything to prevent it.

"Hey… it's all good, Niall, I'm here, I'm gonna make sure you'll be okay. I promise." Of course he would, Liam cupped the boy's face gently, wiping his thumbs over his cheeks to wipe some tears away and trying a smile before leaning in to press his lips against the boy's forehead, then carrying on to cover his gorgeous face in kisses just because he could, relieved when Niall somewhat stopped crying a little, still sniffing though and his hands twisted in the back of Liam's shirt. "Come on, let's lie down a bit, yeah? I got these pills my mum always gives me when I'm sick, they help with a headache too."

"Okay…" Niall was only whispering, refusing to let go of Liam in any way but allowing him to walk him over to his bed, his arms so tightly around the older boy's waist that he almost felt like running short of breath. 

"Okay, come here, Niall." It was hard to get to his bedside table drawer when Niall literally refused to let Liam go in the slightest way, but somehow the older boy managed to get them both to sit on his bed, not really thinking about it as he pulled Niall into his lap, having the younger snuggle up immediately. "Look, that's gonna help, okay? Here's my water bottle, can you swallow it like that?"

"Y-Yeah…" Didn't seem too sure, but he was also still sniffing and Liam was kinda unsure as he gave Niall his bottle, one arm wrapped around the boy's waist to hold him close, somewhere in the back of his mind registering how well Niall fit into his lap like that, how nice it actually was to have him this close.

"Alright, here, open up, Ni." Liam held the pill to his lips, waiting for the boy to take it and swallow it down with some water, comfortingly rubbing his back while watching, brushing some hair out of his forehead once Niall was done, a shudder going through his body. "You cold?"

"'m good…" Didn't sound very convincing, also not how he curled up even more, arms wrapped around himself now, so Liam pulled the blanket over his lap, making sure to cover Niall as good as possible. "Thanks, Li…"

"Don't do that, Niall, you know I'm taking care of you, always." Rocking him gently, Liam placed more kisses onto the boy's face, pecking his mouth softly too, only shortly though, this was not his main concern now, he just wanted to see his boy smiling again and let him have his much needed sleep so he could get better again. "How long have you been feeling sick for, Ni? Louis told me you said to him you had a headache since a while already… you could've told me, you know, I would've given you something so you'd feel better."

"I-I know… I… I d-didn't w-want you to w-worry… I'm s-sorry…" Another very painful sniff for Liam to hear as Niall rested his head on the older boy's shoulder and Liam sighed a bit, pulling the blanket even higher before resting his cheek against Niall's hair, arms wrapped tightly around him. 

"It's okay, no need to feel sorry… I just wish you'd tell me, you know, I… I wanna take care of you when I can, there's no need to try and hide it, I just want you to feel alright, babe. Please tell me next time? I hate to see you like this, Ni…" Hopefully he wouldn't get really sick or anything, Liam hoped that he'd be fine again by tomorrow, but he probably wouldn't be, he'd just tell Niall to stay in his room and sleep the whole day, screw uni and also screw everyone else in case they got suspicious, this was serious and there was nothing in this world that mattered more to Liam than this boy did.

"Okay… I-I w-will…" His head was probably still hurting but Liam prayed that it was gonna get so much better that he could fall asleep soon, not that he'd be able to close his eyes himself tonight, but Niall should do it at least. 

"Thank you, Ni… hey, I'm gonna let you sleep tomorrow, yeah? You don't have to go to classes when you're feeling like this, just stay in my room, okay? I can also stay with you if you want me to, just tell me, I'll do anything." Liam would skip too if he had to, no question, he'd do anything for this boy.

"N-No… go to c-class… I'll be f-fine… thank you…" Didn't sound very convincing at all, but Liam decided he still had time to figure that out, the whole rest of the night because he was way too worried to go to sleep, especially not while Niall was still awake and on his lap.

"Okay… go to sleep, babe, if you can, I'm here and I won't let you go, okay? If anything's wrong then tell me, I won't sleep until you do." He wouldn't sleep at all but Niall would protest if he said that so Liam didn't, just kissing the top of Niall's head and the parts of his face he could reach, just softly pressing his lips anywhere possible, making sure to hold the younger boy as tightly as possible. 

"Okay…" His voice was quiet, Liam wasn't sure if he already was about to drift off or not but he didn't wanna risk it and say something else, he just continued with his kisses and smoothing the boy's hair out, rocking him a little bit and feeling his stomach warming up as he felt Niall's hand twisting into his shirt.

The boy had never sat on his lap, but above that, he had of course never fallen asleep there either. Even though Liam really wished they wouldn't have gotten into a situation like this where Niall felt this extremely bad, he loved having him this close and just holding him and kissing him, a few weeks ago, he would've never thought this was ever gonna happen though, he had been so shy and all and now… now he was trying to be the strong one instead.

Still, it was worrying, how panicked Niall had been just because of this, he had been crying and coming up to Liam's room in the middle of the night because he felt sick? Who did that? Liam understood that he was upset for not being able to sleep and that he didn't want to be alone, but… why the crying? And especially since he always seemed to be trying so hard to appear all cool and without any weaknesses in front of everybody? Well, everybody except for Liam.

He had no idea what to think of this, Liam was honestly just glad that Niall had at least decided to come to him even if he had been trying to hide it before, at least he let Liam take care of him now, like, maybe that was an improvement too, maybe he wouldn't be too scared anymore about doing it again in the future.

Liam didn't know how long he just sat there and held Niall, one time moving them into another position so he could see the boy's face a little bit better and half lie down as well, just watching him before kissing his freckles, not quite able to help himself but feel a wave of fondness and love rushing through him. His lips pressed up against the boy's temple as he mumbled, quite sure that the younger boy had already slept in. "I love you, Nialler… I love you so much, I promise I'll take care of you…"


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early update bc i need to sleep.
> 
> also, there is only 1 more chapter left after this!

"Have you seen Niall by any chance?" Liam both felt slightly embarrassed but also worried as he had to randomly ask Zayn about the blonde boy's whereabouts, he would've asked Louis first but he knew that his best friend had gone to Harry's house right after his classes without going back to his room first. So naturally, Liam had thought Niall would at least open for him when he had knocked but nothing. And he didn't answer his phone either for some reason.

"Hmmm… maybe I've seen him before, but I'm not so sure, he was alone I think, maybe going to the bus station? I don't know, could've been someone else, he didn't say hi either but maybe he didn't see me." Zayn didn't seem too surprised about Liam asking him that, the brunette boy had just found him with some of his friends outside on campus, deciding to interrupt his search for his boyfriend for a second to maybe get some more information.

"So he left campus?" That would be so weird, Liam was so bloody worried that his stomach was already hurting. He had left Niall sleeping in his bed this morning, even if it had been fucking hard to just leave him after holding him in his lap the whole night without getting just another second of sleep. But it had been fine because it had been for Niall and Liam would always do anything for this boy, just… when he had come back to his room after classes, not being able to wait and see Niall again, hoping that his headache had gone away, the younger boy had been gone, without a note or anything, not picking up his phone either. Naturally, Liam was freaking the fuck out now, either Niall was in his room and didn't wanna open or he had gone somewhere else and was avoiding the older boy. But why? Was he embarrassed because of last night, because he had cried and all that? But it was just Liam, Niall should have never been embarrassed about anything at all with him.

"I think so, but don't be mad if I'm wrong. Have you tried his room yet?" Obviously Zayn would start asking more questions if Liam kept on standing there and keeping him from talking to his friends and besides, it's not like Liam could've told him the truth.

"Yeah, I… I'll just call him again, I think. Thanks, Z, see you later." Turning to go, Liam was pretty sure they wouldn't see each other later but his best friend just nodded, keeping his eyes very uncomfortably at Liam so that the other boy thought he could feel them on his back all the way before finally being out of sight.

Of course he didn't pick up when Liam called him yet again, in fact, Niall had turned off his phone now, which meant he had obviously seen his missed calls and text messages, which meant that… he was doing this on purpose.

For some reason this was also a bit of a relief, like, that limited the chance of anything serious having happened to him, but it also caused Liam's stomach to turn very uncomfortably, he hadn't expected Niall to do something like this, ignore him that obviously after a night like this. After they had been so extremely close for a week after having come back to uni, it really hurt to just be avoided like that.

Maybe it would've been better to not search for him like that, maybe he just wanted to be alone or something, but Liam kinda couldn't bring himself to stop looking for Niall, the boy had been feeling sick last night, he couldn't just let him run around like that now. Hopefully he had just gone to his own room and locked himself in, but for some reason, Liam highly doubted that.

He had basically been looking everywhere already, even the library and the sports field and all around campus, thinking about looking for one of Niall's friends to ask them too, which turned out to be unnecessary when he found most of them sitting somewhere together. Without the blonde boy.

This maybe should've been a hint for Liam to stop and just wait until the boy would come to him or call back or do _anything_ at all, but he was determined to find him now, especially after what Zayn had said, but also because Niall was sick and if he really thought Liam would be allowing him to run around like that, he was very wrong. Yeah, he was THAT kinda boyfriend, it was hard not to be overly protective over this boy, especially not after last night and when it was more than obvious why he had just kind of run away. They really needed to talk about this.

There was only one more place that Liam could imagine Niall having gone too, especially since Zayn had said he might have seen him leaving campus, Liam kinda felt pretty dumb for not having come up with it himself.

Obviously, Niall hadn't gone to a place where he could've met a lot of people and he probably also wasn't in the cafe that he seemed to love so much, so the only place that was left really was the playground. It made sense now that Liam thought about it, he would've slapped himself for missing something so obvious but he really rather wanted to hurry up instead.

It wasn't a very long way of course, only 15 minutes or so, he could've taken the bus but it never really came at any regular time so Liam decided to walk. Also a little bit because he wanted to think this through again, think about what he'd say. One thing was sure, he couldn't get mad at Niall or any of that sort, he wasn't after all, just a bit disappointed and hurt. But most of all, worried as shit.

Like expected, Liam didn't really come up with anything useful to say should he really find Niall there, but how could he have managed to do that, if he didn't even know for sure what the problem was in the first place? Maybe something else had happened in the meantime, something Niall clearly didn't wanna talk about, but if that was the reason then Liam needed to find him first of all, just to make sure he was at least physically alright.

Arriving to the playground, Liam felt slightly clueless when all he saw was playing children and their parents, not too many but still quite a few, there seemed to be no trace at all of a blonde boy trying to hide from him or any other students, it almost seemed to be useless now to still keep looking for him.

Liam still decided to take a walk around, checking his phone once more just to see that he had again no messages or calls before suddenly looking up just in time for his eyes to fall on a bench slightly away from the playground, kinda hidden behind a bush as well. It made sense that Niall would have chosen exactly that one. 

There was relieve washing through Liam if anything first of all, he immediately approached the boy, his hands getting a bit sweaty, stomach turning into knots as he saw Niall's face a bit clearer. He was definitely not feeling that well or looking too happy, something was wrong. 

"Niall…" Was literally all Liam could think of when he was almost right in front of him, hesitating because Niall hadn't looked up or flinched, he didn't seem too surprised that Liam had found him. To be fair, he hadn't been hiding that well. "I… I called you a few times. And texted you."

"I know…" His voice was quiet, it scared Liam to be honest, he wanted to have Niall look up at him but he didn't, he just kept on sitting there and staring at his feet, even as the older boy got down next to him, studying the side of his boyfriend's face. "Sorry…"

"You don't have to apologize, just… why'd you just leave? Are you feeling better again, do you still have a headache?" It was hard having a real conversation when Niall was acting like this, when he apologized immediately, it was obvious he hadn't done any of this to hurt Liam, he had done it because of something else Liam would've killed to know about by now. Why was everything always such a big secret with them?

"I don't know, I… I just wanted to think for a bit." So he was obviously still feeling sick, but shrugging it off, like expected actually, Liam suppressed a sigh, forcing his arm to stay down and not wrap around Niall's shoulders. He also wanted to kiss his cheek and just hold him and listen, but he kinda had a feeling this wouldn't be one of those conversations and it scared the crap out of him. 

"About what?" Maybe Liam should have asked whether it bothered Niall that he was here, like… just because they were dating didn't mean that Liam needed to know every single thing going on in Niall's head. Didn't mean he didn't want to though because he very obviously did.

"Just… it's complicated." That didn't sound very good, he was trying to talk himself out of it, his voice sounding kinda lifeless, it didn't make Liam feel very good listening to him without immediately having 10 million theories about what might have been going on. Maybe trouble at home? Maybe someone had asked him about why he and Liam were so close?

"Do you… do you want me to leave you alone again? I was just… I'm worried, you know, because of last night and… and if you're still feeling sick and all. I just want to know you're okay and that nothing is bothering you." Because that was obviously what was going on, Liam wasn't sure if he would have really left if Niall had told him to, so he was really relieved when the blonde boy shook his head slowly before suddenly turning to look at Liam, a kind of pained expression in his face.

"I… I gotta tell you something." Oh. Immediately, Liam sat up a bit straighter, again almost reaching out to touch Niall but holding back then, he was really hoping that the blonde boy was gonna bring a solution to this mess now. He turned out to be terribly wrong. "I heard you…"

"What?" When had he heard Liam? The only thing coming to his mind was the conversation with his mum, but… Niall couldn't have heard that, not when he had been so sleepy in bed afterwards, what was he even talking about?

"Last night, I… I heard what you said. When you said you… loved me." Shit. He hadn't been asleep?! 

Liam started to panic internally even if he tried to remain calm on the outside but he was definitely freaking out. Of course he had planned on telling Niall one day, just… not like this, he would have wished for it to turn out a bit differently, even if it was true, even if he had really meant it. But Niall's reaction didn't really seem like what anyone would wish for. "Oh… I… I meant it, you know, I mean, it's fine… if you don't feel the same, but… I don't know, it's just, I wasn't really thinking and I thought you were asleep and… it's true, but… you don't have to say it back."

But Liam really hoped he would, his heart aching as all Niall did was nod a bit before turning his head away again, hurting Liam even more with this than he had by just running away. So he didn't love Liam back, was that it? He had heard what he had said and he hadn't been able to handle it because he didn't feel the same? This was even worse than the fact that the boy had been ignoring him so obviously. 

"Is that why you ran away and didn't answer your phone?" Liam didn't mean for it to come out like that but he couldn't help himself now, his eyes were stinging just a tiny bit and there was a tug to his heart. Why did this have to hurt so much? Maybe Niall just wasn't ready to say it, maybe he just needed time to think about it, didn't mean that Liam had ruined it now, right? But it suddenly felt damn much like he had. 

"Well, I… I just wanted to think and… you know, I… you know I really like you, just, I don't know if… if I want it to go that deep." But… 

"What do you mean?" Liam's heart was speeding up immediately at this, almost uncomfortably fast, he just stared at Niall with wide eyes as the boy's words slowly came through to him, the blonde boy wasn't even looking at him, he clearly felt uncomfortable in this situation as well but that wasn't helping much now. Was he… about to break up with Liam?! Because of THIS?!

"I mean that… I don't know if I'm ready for this, I… I'm not a particularly good boyfriend and I… I think I might… might need some time to get used to, uh… liking a boy and I don't know if I'll ever be really comfortable with this and I don't wanna hurt you if I don't really feel the same and not know if I ever will, just… I don't know if we should carry on with this. I know you want a relationship and one where you can openly be with someone and you're a great boyfriend, Li, you're sweet and caring and always there for me, just… I don't think this is gonna work… in the long run." Had he just done it? Had he just _broken up_ with Liam?!

"You… you wanna break up with me? Because you don't love me? I'm sorry I said it, Niall, okay? Maybe I shouldn't have but I didn't know you were awake and… you ARE a good boyfriend and I wanna be with you and I really don't care if we'll never ever get to tell anybody, I just wanna be with you. Don't do this, Ni, please." Liam was so shocked, he didn't even know how to take this seriously, sure it hit him really hard, this was coming out of nowhere, but he didn't know what else to do instead of beg, like, he would have NEVER expected for this to be the reason, not in a million years. That telling his own boyfriend he loved him would lead to them breaking up?! How insane was that?

"Liam, it's not that… that I don't like you and that you don't mean anything to me because you do, I just…" There was a deep sigh, at least this wasn't coming too easily over Niall's lips, but that wasn't exactly helping Liam to deal with this, he was just mindlessly staring at the boy, trying to figure out how to correctly deal with that. Definitely not crying, but he felt like he'd be doing that any second anyways. "I just don't… I don't know if this is the right thing to do when you feel so much for me and I… I don't have any experience with relationships and also I… I'm still confused because I'm not gay but I like you and… Liam, I'm sorry, I think… it'd be better if we don't continue this."

There it was again. The 'I'm not gay' that almost got Liam mad by now, but what could he have said? He couldn't have yelled at Niall, wouldn't have wanted to, he had always known the boy was confused by his own feelings and trying to suppress this side of him, just… he hadn't thought it was gonna lead to this. "Niall, you… are you breaking up with me because I told you that I love you and you don't feel the same or because… because you can't deal with liking me because I'm not a girl?"

"I… " He was still looking down, twisting his fingers together now and Liam felt kind of out of breath, he hadn't expected to be going home while being single, like, how the hell could that have happened? Was it really the 'I love you' that had triggered all of this?! He couldn't lose the boy, he loved Niall so much, just the thought of not being with him anymore felt unbearable, but even more because it had come so unexpected. "It's kinda… kinda both."

"Oh. Okay, so… you don't love me. I mean that's… that's okay, I guess, I… I didn't think you would, just…" Holding back tears now was really fucking hard, Liam was scared his voice might break away any second, like… he had always known that being with Niall felt too good to be true, but… who'd expect to hear that from their own boyfriend? Niall didn't even wanna keep on trying, he didn't even think he would ever start loving Liam, so basically that meant he hadn't even liked him that much after all. Okay, that was fine, like… who would, right? Liam wasn't particularly interesting or funny or whatever. 

"Liam, it's not… that's not it, I just… I gotta figure this out by myself and I… please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean for this to turn out like this, I never wanted to hurt you, I just… please can we still be friends?" Finally he turned his head, his eyes were pleading as Liam stared at him, not quite sure if he enjoyed having Niall wrap a hand around his own, he felt kind of a bit… dead, almost. 

"I… I'm not sure if that's a good idea, I mean… this is coming a bit out of nowhere and I … gotta be by myself for a bit now I think…" And cry, probably, not right now though because it didn't feel very real right at this second, Liam slowly pulled his hand out of Niall's, trying not to feel too much as he looked away from the younger boy's sad face, like… what was the point of feeling bad for him now when Niall had just basically told him that he didn't even like Liam that much?

"But… but you're not mad, right? I didn't mean to… I just don't wanna hurt you, I… please, don't be mad." What was even the matter with him?! Liam was getting slightly angry now adding up to his disappointment and suppressed pain that he felt, what did Niall expect for him to do? After he had fucking broken up with him he still wanted to be fucking friends and maybe hang out normally with Liam, like… that didn't even make any fucking sense. 

"I'm not mad, Niall…. I'm just wondering what our relationship even was to you if you can just end it like that. And because of something like this, I mean…" And why was he staring at Liam like that with these puppy eyes and all when the older boy felt more miserable than he could ever remember feeling, like on one hand he wanted to cry but on the other he couldn't believe what was going on and he felt a strange urge to just grab Niall and shake him and finally get a clear explanation out of him. Didn't he deserve that? Did he mean that little to the boy, after everything?

"No, you do mean a lot to me, Liam, really, I just don't wanna hurt you and-"

"But you did. You did just hurt me, okay? And I'm not mad, I just… I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you." That really was it, Liam hadn't planned on letting himself get this angry but he couldn't help it when Niall was just repeating the same dumb thing over and over again. If he had just been pretending to like Liam or whatever then what was the point in a conversation like this now? Couldn't he just fucking say it?! "Niall, I took you home with me and you told me I'm making you happy and we're having sex all the time and we get along really well and suddenly you don't like me like that and break up with me? Because I told you that I love you?! Really? Why can't you just tell me the real reason, just tell me it was just fun for you to have a fuck buddy or whatever, just say it. Is that why you didn't want anyone to know? So you could end it whenever you wanted?!"

"What? No, Liam, that's not it, what… do you really think I would do that?! That I lied? I didn't, I really like you, I-"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever, okay? I know you're not gay or whatever, I guess you can just go back to these girls and fuck with them instead since you didn't like me that much anyway, right?" Okay, this was way too harsh, Liam knew that in the back of his head, could see it in Niall's hurt and shocked face and the way he flinched, but he still didn't take it back. It was true after all, wasn't it? Who knew if anything the boy had told him was even true, who knew if he even had any troubles with his family at all, Liam was suddenly seriously starting to doubt that.

"Do you… do you really mean that?" Niall's eyes were wide as he stared at Liam, he looked kinda pale but the older boy was too upset to really think about this now, he was so fucking MAD despite what he had told Niall, he couldn't believe he had fallen for him this hard and gotten so emotionally involved and now he was the one who had to pay for it and suffer. Of course, it had been too good to be true anyways. 

"Well, it's true, isn't it? You can just say it." Actually, Liam was about to walk off, he didn't want to embarrass himself now and start crying, just being upset felt really stupid, the fact that he would cry over someone who had just fucked him over and lied. AGAIN. 

"It's not true, Liam, I… " He seemed really beaten down, but Liam couldn't have cared less, he was gonna lose his mind here, he didn't even know what he wanted, he just really hated himself for the past few weeks. How could he have ever believed Niall when he had said that he really liked him? "I'm sorry, please…you're so important to me and… I don't wanna lose you, I know you're mad now but… I'm sorry…"

"Yeah, right. I gotta go now, sorry for… interrupting your time alone or whatever." Just looking at the boy now got Liam upset, he forced himself to draw his eyes away from Niall's desperate face, fighting back his tears as he stood up, he was just gonna walk away, he wasn't gonna let Niall see him cry. Not after this. "Good luck getting rid of your… headache or so."

"Liam, I… are you gonna… tell the others?" REALLY?! That was his only concern now?! Wow, okay, now at least Liam didn't feel bad anymore for snapping at the boy, he was ruthless, truly, and what was the point of pretending to sound sad? Was that act really necessary? He didn't even like Liam after all.

"No, don't worry, you can keep on telling people you're not gay and they're gonna believe you. Have fun with that." And then Liam just walked away without another look at Niall, he couldn't take this anymore, this conversation had been fucking nerve wrecking and Liam couldn't believe the outcome.

Had he just been looking for Niall after staying up the whole night for him to hold him and calm him down just so that the younger boy could ignore him and then admit that he had only been pretending to like Liam? What even had been the point of that, had it just been the sex or something? 

Maybe, fact was that Liam was too upset to really think about it, he was so done with all of this, he fucking loved this boy so much and he didn't mean anything to him in return, this hurt even more than their fight had after the party, like. this was truly the most horrible scenario Liam could have ever imagined.

Yeah, he was angry and confused, but more than that, he was disappointed and hurt and he couldn't help the tears spilling over without even being out of sight. He had just lost Niall, his boyfriend, after trying so hard and falling so deeply for him, he could impossibly ever look the boy in the face again. Not after this, not after humiliating himself like this and admitting that he loved him and getting rejected. How fucking sad was that? He wasn't gonna forgive Niall again this time, no fucking chance.

 

————— Niall

 

Niall didn't know how long he just sat there after Liam had left, pulling his feet on the bench too to hug his legs to his chest, trying so hard not to cry but he couldn't help himself. He loved this boy, he really did, but he couldn't let this carry on, not if Liam felt so much for him, he couldn't make this kind of a commitment, not under these circumstances. To be quite honest, Niall didn't know whether he'd ever be able to do this with anyone, there was a reason for everything after all and he knew why he never let himself get involved too deeply with people.

But Liam was different.

Niall had tried not falling for him, really, but he had felt kinda lonely for a while now and then the brunette boy had just come along and he had been so sweet and kind of shy and… it had been out of Niall's control. If it had gone after him, he would've told the whole world that they were dating, he was so proud that Liam was his boyfriend, or had been, because now… now Niall was pretty sure that they couldn't even be friends anymore. 

It was better like this, even if Niall really did love Liam and wanted to be with him, he knew it would be better for the older boy for them to not be dating anymore. Who could have a relationship built upon so many fucking lies, all having come from Niall himself? Liam would be even more upset if he'd ever find out about them, plus he deserved someone who was honest with him and proud to hold his hand in public and not be scared of it. Someone who hadn't been sleeping with so many girls just because he didn't like being alone and because he thought it'd convince people that he was straight and popular so everyone would like him and… yeah, Niall did enjoy all of that, but it had still never ever made him feel as safe and happy as Liam had managed to. And Niall didn't know if he'd be able to ever feel like this again, he hadn't wanted to break up with Liam, but he had known from the beginning that this had been a bad idea and now he'd have to pay the price for it.

When Niall finally managed to wipe most of his tears off and head back to the dorms, he felt numb inside, but really guilty as well, he knew Liam loved him and he so desperately wished he could've said it back, but… it wouldn't be good for the older boy and Niall would always put the older boy's happiness over his own. He shouldn't have to waste his time with Niall, not when their relationship had been doomed from the beginning anyways.

It was kinda hard to pretend he was alright whenever someone around campus wanted to talk to him, Niall was kinda sick of this already, and his head was hurting even more now and he just felt like total crap. He just wanted to go to Liam's room and apologize and tell him he loved him and then curl up in his arms like last night and just tell him everything, the truth this time. But he couldn't.

Instead, Niall lied down in his own bed, with his face turned towards the wall, not even bothering with the blanket or anything, he just wished he could've fallen asleep to forget about this. But it's not like waking up could have solved any of this, he'd still be missing Liam desperately and love him so much that it hurt. 

Niall wasn't usually crying, but he had last night after lying awake for hours with a hurting head and he couldn't stop now either, he didn't even care that Louis was probably gonna come back as well in a bit. Maybe he was just gonna tell him himself, he shouldn't have asked Liam to still keep it a secret, it's just… he was so damn scared of admitting it to anyone. To himself the most out of everyone. So what if no one liked him anymore after this and made fun of him, it's not like Niall could've pulled this off for forever, right? He had messed it up and maybe it wouldn't even matter that much anymore because his head was hurting so bad that he could barely even think clear. 

When the door opened, the blonde boy didn't move, he tried not to sob too obviously, yeah, but that was it really. "Hey, Niall, I… are you asleep? Sorry, didn't wanna wake you up."

"'s okay…" Niall mumbled into his pillow, maybe if he would never turn around then Louis was never gonna find out that he was crying and had just broken his best friend's heart for which Louis would rip his head off. And he'd have every right to. 

"I'll be quiet now, yeah? I gotta study anyways." See? He would've never guess that Niall was crying, he was too good at playing things down and pretend that everything was alright. "Hey… I talked to Zayn before and he said that Liam has been looking for you, were you in here sleeping the whole time?"

"No, I… Liam found me, don't worry…" And that'd also be the last time Liam had been looking for him, he knew that the others were gonna find out, Liam didn't wanna be friends with Niall anymore of course, and it would be better for him as well, but it'd be kinda obvious and Niall would just break eventually and tell them, he just was too done as to try hard and keep it a secret. What'd it matter anyways? 

"Oh, okay… are you alright? You sound a bit…" Yeah, he sounded dead and like he was crying, which was all true, Niall felt so bad, he was seconds from just bursting into even more tears and tell Louis everything. He and Harry had always kinda been the two people Niall really looked up to, they had everything, they were openly gay and it was fine and they got along so well and they were best friends with Zayn and Liam and the 4 of them always supported each other and… it was so completely different from what Niall had with his friends, he had always preferred hanging out with Harry and Louis and Zayn. And then Liam of course, this could've all been so great if he wasn't such an idiot and had messed it up from the very beginning. How come that the people that meant the very most to him were gonna be the ones that would hate him the most too? As soon as they found out anyways.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just… tired, I guess…" Now he was lying yet again, he felt slightly bad but nothing could live up to how he felt already, why couldn't he just keep on lying here all curled up in a ball and die?

Louis just took it like that though, he lied down on his own bed judging by the sounds, sometimes flicking a page in his book since he was obviously studying for real. If Niall told him the truth… would Louis wanna switch rooms again? Probably, why'd he wanna still share one with Niall after the younger boy had broken his best friend's heart? Maybe Niall should've asked Louis and Harry for advice all along, he had been wanting to ask them a lot of stuff actually but had never managed to do it, he had just been too scared of it all coming out one day. Not that he didn't trust them, but… he had never told anyone, not even Liam. 

"Hey, Louis…" Maybe he could… talk about it without actually having to say it, he just didn't wanna lie around anymore in silence and suffer, he so desperately needed someone to talk to about this. Even if that would result in a fight probably.

"What's up?" Louis sounded a bit absent and maybe that was good, he probably would still get mad at Niall, but… it was only a matter of time until he would find out anyways. Yeah, Niall had always been really scared of this happening, but he felt so bad that he didn't care anymore. 

"I… you know I wanted to ask your for, um… advice kind of…" That was a good start right, Niall tried to clear his throat quietly, wiping over his face and hoping that it wasn't too red or wet anymore as he turned onto his back, but Louis didn't seem to be looking over at him anyways.

"About what?" Which was exactly where the problem started, Niall hoped that he wasn't gonna say anything really stupid now, but that seemed to be hard to avoid, his head was hurting and his heart was too, not exactly a good combination to focus on something important.

"Well, you know I… I usually don't… don't really, um… date someone. Like, I mean… _seriously_ date someone and… and since you and Harry get along really well, I… I thought you'd know what to do, I, um… " Okay, well, this was not really going into the planned direction, Niall heard a thump on the floor which probably was Louis' book, so at least now he had the boy's attention. Not that that was a good thing though.

"Wait… are you telling me you're in love with someone?" His voice sounded a bit unbelievable, which was understandable, Niall was almost breaking his fingers now trying to think of something smart. Shit, why was this so hard?!

"I… maybe, but… I kinda messed it up and… and… " Yeah, that was where Niall got too scared to continue, he couldn't do this, how would he tell Louis that he had just broken up with Liam if he hadn't even known that they had been dating?! 

"Niall, you can tell me, you know, it's fine if you like someone, I'll try my best to help." Well, he was gonna change his mind once it was out. "How do you think you messed it up? I thought you're really good at this."

"Yeah, I… maybe I'm… maybe I'm better at not so serious relationships… or no relationships at all… just…." This was going nowhere, maybe Niall should start somewhere else, somewhere he _really_ wanted to go. "I just… how'd your parents react when… when you told them about Harry?"

There was a bit of silence and Niall almost panicked, thinking that maybe Louis had guessed it now, but he seemed to have just been thinking because when he answered, he was all calm. "They were happy for me, I mean, they've always known I was gay, so it wasn't that big of a deal actually."

"How… how'd you come out to them?" Niall almost looked over but stopped himself from doing it then, too scared that Louis might have been able to read it right in his face.

"I was like… 13 maybe? And I liked this boy and I told my mum and yeah… I didn't really have to come out, you know, everyone always kinda knew, I guess. I mean, I've never been interested in any girls and yeah, it was obvious. But it was different for Harry, he only came out a year or so ago, and he was really scared of what his parents might say but they were really cool about it. You know them, they're really nice and all." Yeah, Niall did know them, all of his friend's parents were so great, he was slightly jealous actually… why couldn't he have had that? This wasn't fair at all. "Why are you asking anyways?"

"I was just… just curious, you know…" Nothing more, right… how'd Niall get back to the topic now?! "Um… how'd you and Harry start dating?"

"I just asked him on a date and then, you know… we just clicked, I guess. Niall… what do you _really_ wanna ask me here?" Shit, he was so fucking screwed now, what could he have told Louis?! Hey, I was dating Liam, your best friend, and we kept it a secret because I'm scared as shit and then I broke up with him just an hour or so ago because I- "Wait… are you telling me that the person you like is a guy?"

"What?! I… I never even said that!" Immediately, Niall's heart was speeding up about twelve times, he sat up a bit too fast, only causing his headache to increase slightly as he stared at Louis with a more than burning face. Why didn't Louis even look that surprised?! 

"I thought you were straight." Was all he said, but it didn't sound very convincing either and Niall thought he was gonna throw up any second. Not only because of this though but also because he felt slightly sick. 

"I am straight! Just because you like ONE guy doesn't mean you're gay, right?" Okay, maybe this was a bit too much, but Niall couldn't help but immediately jump into defensive mode, he couldn't have Louis thinking he was gay. 

"I guess it doesn't, but… maybe you're bi." What the hell?!

"No, I'm not. And I don't even like a guy, I never said that…" Alright, Niall wasn't gonna keep on talking, he was just gonna stay in his misery all by himself, he couldn't fucking tell Louis. 

"Then who do you like?" The older boy almost seemed amused now and Niall was really annoyed, actually, he lied back down, turning with his face towards the wall again and his back to Louis, even if it was kind of childish. 

"No one…" Niall mumbled somewhere into his pillow and there was a deep sigh behind him before Louis got up or something, walking over to Niall's bed and then he seriously sat down on the mattress next to him, having the younger boy's body freezing up immediately. "What?"

"Niall… " Hesitating for a second, Louis was probably trying to find the right words and Niall's palms were getting sweaty, he felt so fucking bad and he was missing Liam so much and anyways, how had he ever thought it was a good idea to tell Louis?! Turned out these worries were kind of unnecessary. "I know you like Liam, it's fine, you can just say it."

"I-I… w-why'd you think that, I…" Shit. Fucking hell, Niall was so screwed, his whole body froze up at this, pretending to not be in love with Liam was easier when he thought no one fucking knew about it! Had he really been that obvious? He had tried not to be, just… it had been damn hard to do that, especially because he knew that Liam was always really happy when Niall was being affectionate and… well, HAD been.

"Because it's obvious, Niall. I wouldn't even be surprised anymore if you'd tell me that you guys have been dating secretly all along, I mean, you pretty much stopped hanging around all these girls and then you went home with Liam and you barely ever slept at anyone else's room anymore except for a few times where you could've easily… " Oh shit. "Wait a second… are you and Liam together?"

"N-No…" They weren't anymore anyways, Niall felt tears welling up again, for multiple reasons now, one he missed Liam, two he felt guilty because he had basically just admitted it to Louis and three… the other boy was gonna hate him in less than a second.

"Oh my god, you are! How did you manage to keep it a secret for so long?! And why would you even do that? Niall, what the hell? How long has this been going on and… wait, are you crying?" Well, at least now Louis seemed to be in shock and Niall, well, he hadn't been able to choke those tears back anymore, refusing to turn around and simply crying into his pillow now, trying hard to not shake too much, just… how could he have not?! "Niall, what is even going on here? If you and Liam are together then why did you ask me all these things before? And why are crying, what happened?"

"I-I… I-I messed it u-up, Lou…" Where was the point in denying now? If it had already been that obvious anyways, Niall could just blurt out with the whole truth before Louis would finally hate him. "I-I… I b-broke up w-with him… b-before a-and… I d-didn't w-want t-to b-but… a-and now he h-hates m-me a-and-"

"Wait, wait, slow down, Nialler, I can barely understand a word." He didn't sound too mad when he placed a hand on Niall's shoulder, his thumb rubbing over the younger boy's shirt and Niall shuddered a bit, not being able to believe that Louis hadn't ripped his head off yet. "Okay, tell me from the beginning. When did this start?"

"L-Like… o-one w-week after the p-party… " The memory of that gave Niall shivers, he had had such a hard time that week trying to suppress his feelings for Liam but then when he had finally grown the balls to kiss him and ask him, it had been so fucking wonderful and it had felt so right, Niall couldn't even imagine ever having felt so happy. Too bad he wasn't ever gonna feel like this again. 

"That's really long, I'm impressed, I mean… me and Harry knew that you liked Liam since like three weeks now, but… I wouldn't have expected that. Now a lot of things make sense, I guess… but why didn't you tell anyone? Us at least? We wouldn't have gotten mad, Ni, if that's what you think, we just didn't want Liam to be beaten down all the time and he obviously hasn't been because he's been really happy the last few weeks." Well, but now he wasn't anymore and it was all Niall's fault and he wanted to shoot himself for that. 

"Y-Yeah, m-me too, but… I m-messed it u-up, I-I… I b-broke his h-heart, Louis, I-I… I e-ended it l-like a-an h-hour a-ago a-and… and n-now he thinks t-that I-I've b-been l-lying, b-but… I l-love him s-so m-much a-and h-he hates m-me a-and-"

"Niall, hey, hey, woah. You gotta calm down, alright? It's fine, just tell me what happened and we can figure this out, yeah? But if there's one thing I can promise you it's that he doesn't hate you in any way at all, I'm very sure he loves you too, Nialler, I mean, you've been dating, right? So why would he not love you?" How could Louis still be so bloody nice?! 

"N-No… I t-told h-him t-that… that I-I d-don't l-love him b-because… b-because … b-because i-it's b-better f-for h-him i-if w-we're not t-together…" How pathetic could this get? Niall didn't even know anymore whether he was even choking out real words here, he just didn't know what to think anymore and ready to just tell anyone who was willing to listen, even if he knew that Louis wouldn't be able to help him fix this, just… he wanted to tell him, finally get it out.

"Niall, why would that be better, huh? Because you didn't wanna tell anyone? He was obviously okay with that, I doubt he'd be better off without you, he really likes you a lot." Yeah, Niall knew that, which was even worse, had Liam not been suffering so much because of this, Niall might have been able to suppress his feelings for him, but of course not, of course Liam had looked like a beaten puppy all the time that Niall just wanted to pick up and comfort. And then his damn jealousy too, he had been so screwed so fucking soon. "Why didn't you wanna tell anyone anyways? It's okay to like a boy, Niall, no need to put a label on it, right? And who cares if you kiss a guy, me and Harry do it too and no one gives a shit."

"B-But… my b-brother is h-here too, a-and… m-my p-parents…" That was enough said probably because Louis sighed, his hand still on Niall's shoulder while the younger boy already felt uncomfortable lying on a wet pillow, trying to wipe his tears a little but it seemed useless when new ones kept coming all the time.

"They'd get mad? Well that fucking sucks, I'm sorry about that, Nialler, I mean… I don't know, I think family is important but not if they treat you like this though… but Liam understood that, right? He wasn't mad that you had to a keep it a secret, was he?" The excuse with his family was kind of a good one, it was true after all but only one factor why Niall didn't want to go public… why he hadn't even wanted to call it a relationship in the first place. 

"N-No…" Liam had been so understandable and sweet, he didn't deserve for Niall to act like such a fucking idiot, he deserved so much better.

"See? Then why do you think he'd be better off without you, Niall?" That's where the problem started, Niall couldn't tell Louis that so he just continued crying, having the older boy caress his shoulder for a while before obviously accepting that he was never gonna get an answer to that, sighing again, but not in an annoyed way, more as if he felt sorry for Niall. "Do you want me to talk to Liam? I think he deserves to know that you do love him."

"Y-You c-can't talk t-to h-him, L-Louis… I c-can't b-be w-with h-him…" And there was one main reason for that, which was the same reason why Niall didn't usually let himself get involved in relationships, also because he had never liked anyone enough for that, but it was an even bigger problem than anyone finding out that he liked a guy. 

"Why not, Niall? Who cares what people think, what your parents think, they're fucking idiots if they get mad because of that, screw them, screw everyone, you can like whoever you want, you don't need to call yourself gay or straight or bi for that, you don't have to be anything at all, Nialler. If you like someone and they like you back, you should be with them." It sounded so easy when Louis said it, Niall almost regretted not having talked to him sooner, he actually took a few seconds to think about that, sniffing a few times and hoping to calm down slightly. At least so he'd be able to talk properly again. 

"It… i-it's not only t-that, I-" And then Niall probably made the biggest mistake because he tried to sit up, making Louis' hand slip off his shoulder, but way worse, his already hammering head was suddenly stinging even more and Niall felt himself panicking a bit, it was almost as bad as last night when he had been so scared he had gotten all hysteric and went up to Liam's room. But now, now it hurt so bad that he almost got sick to his stomach from it. "I… I-I gotta drink something…"

"What… Niall, are you okay?" Louis sounded really worried and confused, but he didn't stop Niall when the younger boy slowly attempted to climb off the bed, feeling a bit dizzy as well now, actually he had to use one hand to keep supporting himself on the mattress. These dark spots dancing in front of his eyes weren't exactly a good sign. "Nialler, what the fuck is going on? You can't even stand straight!"

"Yes, I can…" Barely, but Niall tried his very hardest to overplay it as he walked over to the sink, pretty sure that Louis was following him but he didn't care that much, he was so scared, this was not the first time he had had such a bad headache after all, he wouldn't have freaked out like that otherwise and tried to ignore it for days, wouldn't have been so scared now as he leaned down to drink some water, feeling like he had to throw up from the movement. Shit, this couldn't be happening again, he had been hoping the pill Liam had given him last night had helped, that he was just sick, but it didn't feel very much like it once he had turned the water off and stumbled a bit, luckily being immediately caught be Louis. If that wasn't worrying…

"Niall, you gotta sit down right now and tell me what the hell is going on. Are you having a headache again?" So he remembered what Niall had told him a few days ago about feeling poorly, the younger boy had to close his eyes for a second before nodding, allowing Louis to help to sit down on the floor with his back against his bed. This wasn't good at all, Niall was about to start crying again, why did this have to happen?! He had been fine a week ago! "Niall, talk to me."

"Yeah, I… it hurts and I…" Hugging his legs to his chest and burying his face against his knees, Niall felt tears welling up again, he couldn't do this, he didn't want this to happen, he really wanted Liam here to hold him again and calm him down, tell him it was just because he was a little bit sick, that it'd go away. But he wasn't and his words wouldn't have changed the truth anyways. "Louis…"

"Yeah? What can I do? Tell me, Niall, you don't sound good at all, maybe you should lie down. Do you feel like you're gonna pass out or something?" The older boy was right next to him, rubbing his back and talking a bit too loudly maybe, but he was obviously freaked out and Niall hated himself that one of his friends would have to be there and witness this. Then again though, it was also good that he wasn't alone, even if he hated what he'd have to do now.

"I… Louis you have to… " Hesitating, Niall suppressed another sob, he had been trying to avoid having to do this, but he would have to tell Louis what to do because if he didn't, Niall knew that he would never ever do it himself. "You gotta… call an ambulance, okay? I… I've had this before and I… please just do it…"

"An ambula-… okay. Okay, alright, lie down first, yeah? Come on." He wasn't a very big help in getting Niall to lie on the floor, mostly because he seemed to be really freaked out and panicked, something Niall wasn't very surprised about because he himself felt quite the same. But adding up to that he also felt, really, really dizzy and he thought he almost slipped out of consciousness as he finally managed to fully lie down, pressing his eyes closed and his fingers onto his temples. Shit, why now? Today?! He hadn't thought it'd come back for Christ's sake, not ever again, but here he was. "Okay, don't pass out now, alright? I'll get my phone, don't move."

"Okay…" Niall croaked out, he wasn't quite sure if he had heard every word Louis had said, he was just focusing on trying to breathe evenly, which was hard when his heart was bumping this fast and he was so scared that he almost started sobbing hysterically. He just wanted Liam now, wanted the older boy to hold him and tell him he loved him. What if he'd never ever get to tell him that he loved him back? That he would never wanna be with anyone else? That all of this had just been a big misunderstanding?!

Somewhere in the background Louis was talking, Niall wasn't quite sure how long he was just lying on the floor trying to calm down, he knew that his panic wasn't helping him to feel any better at all, but how could he have not been?

It wasn't that the pain was so overwhelming, yeah that was one factor, but Niall just felt so bloody exhausted and terrified that at one point Louis' voice got really blurry and his touches felt kinda weird on Niall's arm and all the blonde boy could think was that he wanted Liam before he passed out.

 

——————

 

"Niall? Hey, bud, are you feeling better?" That definitely was not Louis' voice, but also not the voice Niall had been longing to heard, his head still hurt really badly but it was bearable now as he blinked his eyes open against the bright light, needing some time to get his orientation back. 

He was not in his room anymore, that was for sure, it felt a lot softer than the floor and Niall needed a while to get his full memory back to the point where he had blacked out. Of course, Louis had probably really called an ambulance, which was a good thing even if it got Niall slightly freaked out, not too much thought because he couldn't think very clearly right now. If there was something he hated in this world because he was terrified of his experiences there, it were hospitals.

So it made sense that he had been putting this off, told himself it wasn't serious, that he wouldn't have to go, wouldn't have to worry because it was nothing at all. But secretly Niall had known what it was, had known that this was gonna ruin his relationship with Liam, that he'd have to end this the second the older boy had told him he loved him. Better now and like this than later and in a much worse way. Better have Liam be mad at him than cry for him.

They were all there minus Liam of course, Harry, who had been the first to speak up, was sat on the side of Niall's hospital bed and Louis and Zayn were in chairs next to them, all of them looking quite distressed. Niall hated himself for having them tragged into this, he wouldn't be able to keep this a secret anymore, none of it. 

"Hey…" Niall knew that his voice sounded hoarse, he really hated this, all of it, he still felt dizzy and just really weird lying in this hospital bed when he couldn't even remember getting here or the ambulance coming or who the hell had changed him into these horrible hospital clothes, he just wanted to close his eyes and die. "How… how long have I been out?"

"Two hours or so… " Louis was the only one to answer, he cleared his throat a little and Niall wanted to apologize to him but he didn't find the right words before his friend was already speaking again. "Look, Niall, I think they ran some tests but they're obviously not gonna tell us and… I didn't know what to tell them other than what you told me, like… you're gonna have to talk to some doctors about what's up, I… they told us to get someone once you wake up."

"Yeah, I… I'm gonna talk to them… " This was a bloody disaster, Niall could tell by the depressing silence everyone fell into afterwards, he had no idea whether Louis had told the others about their conversation or not, to be honest, Niall didn't even care anymore, he wanted Liam so badly now, it hurt.

"Niall…" Zayn suddenly spoked up, really quietly and the younger boy looked over at him to find him staring at the floor instead. Not very promising.

"Yeah?" His throat hurt a little, Niall was really thirsty but he didn't dare asking the boys to get him something to drink, he felt too guilty already for the fact that they had to be here in the first place.

"This… this is really bad, isn't it?" Yeah, it was. Niall could've told him so but he stayed quiet instead, confirming it without even having to say a word at all, he just stared down at his hands now, twisting them around the blanket, trying to deal with the fact that he was gonna have to talk to a doctor now and explain all of this. And then after this and while being scared shitless, he was gonna have to tell his friends too. 

He couldn't do this, no way.

They all fell in silence for a bit, which was kinda even worse as if they had all been talking at once, sure, that wouldn't have helped Niall's headache but at least it would've distracted him from his torturing thoughts. Basically all he could think of was Liam, how sorry he felt for having hurt him so deeply today, how fucking guilty he felt for everything he had put the older boy through.

All Liam had ever done was being there for Niall and loving him and he hadn't even gotten anything in return, Niall hadn't even been able to allow him for them to do anything in public or tell his parents, even if he had known how much it would've meant to Liam. Niall was so fucking selfish and a coward, he really was, and now all his bad traits were backstabbing him. Honestly, he wasn't even sure anymore whether he had any good traits anyways, all he ever did was hurt people and he had brought it to the point where the person that meant the very most to him wasn't even here in a situation like this. Sure, Niall knew he wasn't allowed to, but he needed Liam here, needed to apologize and beg for forgiveness and have him here through this as support. He wouldn't be able to do this without him.

When Louis was about to stand up and suggested that he should probably get a nurse or so, Niall kinda lost the tiny bit of calmness he had had left, he felt tears pooling in his eyes now, felt himself getting way too emotional, he was trying so hard to keep it together just… today everything was too much. 

"Lou, wait…" Trying to blink back his tears, Niall was pretty sure that everyone could see his eyes getting wet anyways because their faces all changed when they looked at him and Louis stopped in his movement. "I-I just…"

"What's wrong, Nialler?" Everything.

Before Niall knew it, he had closed his mouth again, pressing his lips tightly together and before anyone could say another word, he had bursted out into tears. It was fucking humiliating, just like this whole day actually and whenever Niall thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, it did. 

"Hey, hey, Niall, it's okay, what can we do?" Harry had remained the calmest the whole time, it was still obvious that he cared though because he immediately reached out for Niall's free hand as the blonde covered his eyes with his arms, not being able to stop the tears or these embarrassing noises, he was so fucking done. "What's the matter Niall? We're here, yeah? You're not alone…

"B-But…" And then Niall couldn't hold it back anymore, he had his eyes pressed shut, sobbing unwillingly and probably acting like a 5 year old. "B-but L-Liam i-isn't h-here… w-why i-isn't h-he h-here…"

"Nialler… you know why…" Louis didn't sound very happy having to say that but his voice was soft and Harry's thumb was rubbing over Niall's skin, not helping to calm him down in any way though. If anything, he was just getting more hysterical. 

"I-I k-know, b-but… L-Louis… p-please g-get h-him, I-I… I-I w-want L-Liam, p-please, I-I n-need h-him, I-I c-can't d-do t-this w-without h-him…" Okay, this was maybe going a bit too far, but Niall couldn't bring himself to shut up, he didn't care what had happened between him and Liam, he just needed him here not and hold his hand and tell him it would be okay just like he always did. 

"Niall, shh, it's alright, okay, try and calm down, just for a second, yeah?" Niall tried, he really did, he knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn't help himself, his eyes were burning as he pulled his arm away to look at Louis, barely seeing anything because of how blurry his sight was, his breath going uneven. "You want me to call him and get him here?"

"Y-Yeah…" As if he really needed a second to think about that, he knew that Louis was waiting for a serious answer here because this would kinda be a big deal but Niall didn't care, he was gonna get onto his knees to beg Liam to take him back if necessary. "P-Please…"

"Okay, I will. Should I tell him what happened?" Waiting for Niall to nod, Louis started getting his phone out of his pocket while the blonde boy sniffed again, a new rush of tears streaming down his cheeks. He was so fucking scared. "Can I tell him about what we talked about before?"

Again, Niall nodded, he still didn't know whether Harry and Zayn even knew about all these things he had admitted to Louis but he also didn't care, they were gonna hear way worse things in a second. 

"Okay, I'll be right back, yeah? There's no need to cry, Nialler, he's gonna come and if I have to drive there and tie him up." Then he turned to leave once more, his fingers already unlocking his phone when Niall almost choked at how fast he was trying to get something else out, his voice almost cracking, he wasn't planning on this, he just felt like this was essential to get out now.

"L-Louis… t-tell h-him t-that I-I'm s-sorry a-and… t-that I-I l-love h-him…"


	15. Chapter 15

"I still can't believe this… he really said that? Didn't sound very much like he loved me before when he broke up with m-"

"Liam, for the 100th time. I'm not making this up, why would I do that? He was crying and he told me to call you and tell you that he's sorry and that he _loves_ you and that he needs you. I just want both of you to be alright, I'm not making shit up here, this is too serious." Liam knew that Louis wasn't lying but he just couldn't get it into his head. At least now he wasn't doubting the hospital story anymore sitting in front of Niall's room and trying to wrap his mind around what had happened in just a few hours.

After Liam had gotten back to his room, he had simply locked himself in and gotten into his bed, relieved that he didn't have to hold back his tears anymore. He had literally been fucking convinced that that had been it, that Niall had just fucked him over and lied to him, that he didn't mean anything at all to the younger boy. To be honest, he still had to be convinced yet but unfortunately, even if Niall turned out to truly hate Liam, the older boy still loved him and was worried about him. Even more now that he was here and waiting for the doctor to go outside so he could go and ask Niall for the truth. And just for once, he wanted an honest answer because it seemed like the blonde boy had been lying about more than just one thing.

When Louis had called to tell him everything that had happened, Liam first of all hadn't even wanted to pick up, he had only done it when he had read his best friend's message saying 'Niall told me he broke up with you'. So yeah that had both been unexpected and also, it had made no sense at all.

So now they were all here waiting, the other three apparently knew what was wrong with Niall but they refused to tell Liam because Niall had begged them not to. Judging by their faces, it was something really horrible and Liam already thought of the most terrible things he could think of. He felt so guilty, for not having payed enough attention to it and not taken it seriously enough and kept asking Niall about it the night he had come crying to him about it. At least now it made sense, Niall had freaked out because he had had something like this before, whatever it was, and he had been terrified and Liam had done it off as the boy simply being a little sick.

It felt like ages just sitting there and waiting, none of them really speaking and Liam almost died from worries. Niall was the most important person to him in this world and no matter what had happened before and whether the boy loved him back or not or had lied, Liam cared about him, he loved Niall so much and sitting there uselessly and waiting was torture.

The worst maybe was that Louis had told him about how much Niall had cried, before and also in the hospital, how badly he had wanted Liam to come and now he was in there alone with the doctor and no one was allowed to come in. Liam couldn't even let himself have hope that Niall might really love him back, that there was an explanation to all of this. Because no matter what, fact was that Niall was suffering from something that obviously forced him to have a hospital check up and that maybe he was in great danger.

Right now, Liam didn't even give a shit about the fact that the others all knew about how he had been hiding his relationship with Niall and none of them brought it up either, they all just sat there, equally worried and nervous about the blonde boy. Well, actually, Liam was pretty sure that none of them felt quite as bad as he did though, he was seconds from just walking inside actually, just to make sure Niall wasn't alone. The boy could be so innocent and in need of protection, it was killing Liam to imagine him crying in there, with no one to hold his hand or kiss his tears away.

"I think you guys should tell me." Liam had been trying this a few too many times because the others barely reacted, they had promised Niall not to say anything, just… why was that necessary? 

"No, Li, we promised he can do it himself. And I actually think that's a better idea too because you guys need to definitely talk some things out, I have no idea what's been going on in your relationship but I'm quite sure there's more Niall has to tell you than the reason he's here." Hopefully, because Liam finally wanted to know the truth, all of it, he needed to know now or they were always gonna end up in such a mess. Well… provided they were still gonna be in a relationship because Liam wasn't so sure how this would turn out, he knew what he wanted, just… did Niall want the same?

"I just… I just wanna know if he's gonna be okay, is that too much to ask for? Wouldn't you guys want to know if anything like that would happen to any of us?" They couldn't just leave him in the dark like that, Liam was so frustrated, he was seconds from calling his mum and telling her everything from last night to now, he just needed someone to reassure him and the others weren't doing a good job with their depressed faces.

"Yes, Liam, but he's in hospital at least so he's fine, you don't have to worry about any of that now, okay?" But Liam WAS worrying about that.

"Yeah, he's fine for now, and then what? I have a right to know, he-"

Before Liam could get really upset with the others, the door to Niall's room opened an a doctor came out with a very undefinable expression on his face and Liam almost fell over his feet trying to stand up. "Is any of you Liam Payne? I was told to ask him to go in."

"Yeah, that's me." Liam could barely focus on anything right now except for the fact that Niall had asked for him specifically, he almost forgot about the other three still sitting there as well as he tried to hold back his questions for the doctor, he knew he wasn't allowed to tell him anything at all but that didn't mean Liam didn't wanna ask. "I… is he alright?"

"We don't know anything at this point, you should ask him yourself, I'm not obliged to give out any information about his health condition, but we're done for today so you can go inside. Visitor hours end at 7." Yeah, as if Liam was gonna leave if Niall didn't specifically say so, but he tried to stay polite and say thank you, waiting for the man to walk away before staring at the closed door for a second. Now that he was allowed to go inside, his heart was speeding up and he got scared, like… what if Niall was gonna tell him something really bad? What if they wouldn't be able to work this out after all?

"Li… you should go inside, you know, he needs you there, more than he needs anyone." Harry was right, but Liam's hand was still shaking slightly as he reached out for the door handle, nodding a bit as a sign that he had heard but not turning around to look at the others again. It was Niall, Liam shouldn't have been afraid but he was, not only about their future but also whether there'd even be one at all.

He didn't look at Niall immediately when he entered the room, slowly pulling the door closed behind himself but not quite sure what to do afterwards, so he basically just stood there like an idiot, lifting his head and trying to prepare himself for anything that might be coming now. But how could he have done that?

As soon as their eyes met, Liam felt frozen for a second as he studied Niall's face and appearance, almost going up to him and simply wrapping him into his arms without even saying one single word. He didn't look sick or anything though, Niall was sitting up in bed, with his own shirt on, the only thing bothering Liam were the red spots in his face from crying and how teary his eyes were. And also the way he was twisting the blanket in his fingers out of nervousness, looking down after only about two seconds. If only he knew what to make of this.

"I… I didn't think you'd really come…" His voice was quiet and sad but it was like a spell was broken and Liam automatically breathed in a bit, forcing his legs to approach the blonde boy, never taking his eyes off of him. God had he missed him, after only a few hours, but it felt like years actually, so much had happened in that short time span and none of it had been good.

"Why not?" Liam kept it low as well, trying to stay calm on the outside as he hesitated for a second before sitting in one of the chairs that the other guys had probably put there before. How should they have started this? He couldn't just blurt out with it could he? Couldn't just be like 'do you really love me' even if he desperately wanted to because it was driving him insane to not have an explanation for this whole mess. 

"Because of what I said, because… because I've been a straight up idiot and… and because I lied and… " Then he stopped, taking a shaky breath and Liam almost reached out for him, scared he might start crying because that was the last thing he wanted, seeing Niall like this was bad enough already. "I'm sorry, Li… for everything, I… if you still wanna hear it I'm gonna tell you the truth… about anything, really, I promise, I… I won't lie anymore and I won't keep anything a secret anymore, just please… please forgive me, I just… I was trying to do the best for you and… I know it doesn't seem like it but I really was…I'm sorry…"

"Ni… " This was so hard, hearing him fight for his words like that when Liam had already forgiven him anyways, but he still thought about it for a second before moving his chair a bit closer, slowly stretching his arm out to unclench Niall's fingers from around the blanket, wrapping his hand around the younger boy's instead. "I've already forgiven you, okay? I just… you gotta tell me what's up, Niall, you… you have to tell me what you want and what… what the hell happened because I'm worried sick about you and the others refused to tell me anything at all."

"I know, I… I asked them not to…" Niall was staring down at their intertwined hands, squeezing Liam's fingers and there maybe was the tiniest hint of a smile on his face. The fact that Liam hadn't seen him smiling in what seemed like ages got his stomach twisting up, he needed to find out what was going on here, as soon as possible. "I can tell you… if you want me to, I mean… and also, um…. you know because of before when I… when I broke up with you…"

"Is it true, what Louis said? What you told him to tell me?" Now or never, Liam just needed to know, he didn't need to hear these 3 words now he just needed a bit of confirmation before anything else might happen that would cause him to lose ground under his feet. If only he knew that Niall loved him, he'd be able to somehow get through the rest.

The younger boy's cheeks got a bit red at that as he still refused to look up, wrapping his second hand around Liam's as well while the older boy held his breath for a second just to feel relief washing through him when Niall nodded slowly, almost making him happy enough to smile. Almost. "Yeah… yeah, it is, I… I'm sorry I lied before, Liam, I… I couldn't possibly… let it get this deep when you… when you like me so much and I like you just the same, but… it wouldn't be fair to you."

"Why not, Niall? Just because of your family? I know you don't want them to get mad at you or say anything, but they don't have to know. No one does, the others do now, but they would never say anything to anyone, we can keep it a secret, anything you want, I don't care." Liam really meant it, he was holding the younger boy's hand really tightly now, wishing he'd just look at him for one second but he didn't, just returning the squeeze, a tiny sigh escaping him.

"I don't even deserve that you're being so sweet to me… you always are and I… I just lie and… and hurt you… " This was beyond frustrating, Liam wanted to just climb into bed and pull Niall into his lap, hold him there while the younger boy finally told him the truth but he remained in the chair instead, patiently waiting even if he was scared and about to explode internally.

"No, you do deserve it, Niall, just _please_ tell me what's the matter, I wouldn't be asking you this if I weren't so worried about you, please let me help, please tell me what's going, babe. You don't have anything to fear, all I will ever do is try to make sure you're okay, I promise, Nialler, no matter what it is, just… let me in. Let me be there for you." What else was there to do other than beg? Liam would do anything for the younger boy to finally tell him the whole truth, not quite sure if he'd be able to handle it, but… he'd have to.

Niall hesitated for a second before finally turning his head for the first time, tears pooling in his eyes that had Liam's heart shattering as he looked at him, taking a breath as if he needed to prepare himself. "Okay… b-but Liam you… please don't… don't freak out or so, I… I should've told you, I know, just… just I've never told anybody except for the other boys before and… they haven't, um… taken it so well…that one thing at least… "

That didn't sound promising in any way at all but Liam kept his facial expressions under control, Niall needed him to be strong so that's what he was gonna be. "It's okay, Ni, I just want to know, yeah? I won't freak out or yell or anything at all, alright? I promise, babe."

"Alright… thank you." Then he took another huge breath and Liam figured it'd be alright to pull their hands out of Niall's lap for a second, pressing his lips against the boy's knuckles in hopes to calm him down before allowing him to wrap his other one around him again. To say he was scared was an understatement.

He didn't start immediately, he just looked down at their intertwined hands, quiet for a bit except their breathing and the older boy used the chance to just look at Niall's face, how absolutely flawless he was, how fucking much he loved him and wanted to shower him with kisses. But he'd still have time to that afterwards, for now he was just gonna listen in hopes they would finally find a solution for the situation they had gotten themselves into. No matter what it was though, Liam was never gonna let anything happen to this boy, no matter what it took, he was determined that they'd be alright. They had to be.

"I… I'm not sure how to start this, I guess, I… I guess I'll start, uh… from what I've already told you. When I was a kid… my parents would always prefer Greg, for whatever reason, I mean… guess they didn't need any. And then when I told them, you know, about this boy, it… it only got worse. They'd get mad about it and told me it's a phase, that I couldn't tell anybody and so on. For a while, you know, I… I tried to ignore it and then… then I told my best friend and he… he reacted the exact same way as my parents. And he told everybody in school and… I was just a child, you know? And everyone was making fun of me, it was… it was horrible and I figured they were right, you know? That it's not okay to like boys if you're a boy yourself and I… I decided it was a phase I needed to get over…" He stopped there, his breath was shaky and Liam was a bit worried, his heart aching from imaging little baby Niall getting made fun of like this. Even by his own family. 

Instead of saying anything though, Liam stayed quiet while Niall hesitated before continuing, squeezing his hand though to show that he was still here and listening, a little scared about the blonde boy's watery eyes.

"When I came to high school… I decided to change everything, you know I… my family was still shit and they still preferred Greg so I… so I was glad that I was in a big school where no one knew about how _weird_ I was and… I just started over. And it was so easy, you know? I could just be myself and I had tons of friends and it was all good until, you know… until they all got interested in girls and I… well, I didn't. But I pretended that I was. I was so good at it really, my friends would always come to me for advice and I was so proud, I thought… I thought I had grown out of that phase or whatever that had been…

"I mean sure… I've never been in love with any of these girls, I always saw them as friends, you know? But I always told them, I always told them I don't want anything more, just that. I just… I didn't like waking up alone or going to sleep alone, I… I was quite lonely and I still was when I came to uni. I just carried on here like I have been in high school and it worked again as you can see… I convinced everybody, everybody except for my parents. I don't know if… if I ever did any of this to get their attention or get them to love me more, but… I definitely did this so everyone else would like me. So I'd never feel like I did as a child, so I'd be normal.

"When I met Harry and Louis, I… I was really shocked, you know? Because they're dating and they literally can't care less about who sees them kissing or whatever, I… I was a bit jealous maybe, because you know… they are happy and they don't have to be scared or suppress the fact that they are gay and I… so I befriended them. And I really do like them a lot, it's not like that, I just… I just always thought maybe they could help me, give me advice or so, you know? But I was too scared to ask, too scared anyone besides them would find out and that it'd all start again. So I just carried on like before.

"And well… then you came along and… I never expected to fall so hard for you. And so quickly too. I tried so hard to suppress this, I… but for whatever reason I couldn't and I felt so bad for you too and I just… I really wanted to have someone. I've never had something like a best friend or so, not after middle school, and.. I just liked you so much but I didn't wanna… admit it to myself that I liked a boy and I thought… if we didn't call it a relationship I could pretend it wasn't one. But it is… or was, of course, I… it felt so right and I was confused and… well you know the rest anyways… " Still staring at their hands, Niall took a breath before continuing and Liam tried his hardest to not cry and pull the boy in his arms, like, he had kinda known all of this but then again he hadn't, and anyway, having confirmation was maybe the worst. "I still don't know, if… if I can just go and label myself as gay, but… Louis said it doesn't matter. I know it doesn't, just… I've been thinking my whole life it was wrong to be like this and now… I don't know. But Li… I've never felt anything like this for anyone before and I wanna be with you, so badly, I… the past few weeks have been so amazing and I just always wanna be around you and touch you, I never even knew I could like someone so much, I… I love you. I really do."

Hearing it for the first time like this was really nice, Liam felt his stomach grown warm but he couldn't bring himself to smile really, he felt too bad for Niall, like it wasn't fair, was it? He shouldn't have ever been told that liking guys was wrong, no one deserved that. "I love you too, Nialler. And I… I'm so sorry this happened, I kinda had an idea about it, but… of course not in detail. But listen, Ni, you don't have to call yourself anything at all, yeah? It doesn't matter, all I need to know is that you love me and that you wanna be with me, I don't care about the rest. And I still mean it when I say we don't have to tell anybody, we don't, it's alright."

When Niall looked at him, one of his tears spilled over and Liam almost got up to kiss it away but he remained seated, rubbing his thumb over the younger boy's and silently watching as the tear rolled down his cheek before Niall took another, very shaky breath. Right, there was still something else, something that already had Liam's stomach in knots. "Liam, I… I gotta tell you something else."

"What is it, Ni?" Staying calm was so hard but Liam tried his best to prepare himself. This was the worse part, the one that had the other 3 sitting outside with blank faces, and it was even worse now that Liam finally knew the truth and had confirmation that the younger boy loved him. Now that he knew what they'd be missing out on if this didn't go like he so desperately wished for.

"I… " There were more tears now but his voice hadn't broken away yet, Niall just sniffed, almost breaking Liam's hand with how tightly he held on, very obviously needing the support. "Remember… remember what I told you about my tattoo? The date?"

"Um… yeah, of course." Now Liam was slightly confused but he was also scared, he would've gotten up to sit on the bed and hold Niall but he felt a bit numb, frozen on the spot almost, just staring and trying to desperately figure out what was going on.

"It's not what I told you it is, I… I lied. And I'm sorry I did, Li, I… my granddad really did die but I barely knew him and… and it's not the date of his death, it's… it's something else. And I should've told you, I should've told you all along because it was never fair to you and I was always scared something like this would happen again and now… now it maybe has." This was honestly giving Liam goosebumps, he couldn't do anything at all, his mind was running wild while trying to figure out what Niall meant but he had no clue.

"What… what happened on that date, Niall?" His voice sounded weird but Liam barely heard himself, he just needed to know, needed to know it right at this second.

And then Niall just blurted out with it, causing Liam's world to come crashing down at an instant. "My… my surgery was successful and I… I was brain tumor free."

"You… " Oh god. Liam knew that his reaction wasn't appropriate but he had no idea what to say or do with himself, it just wouldn't get through to him for a while so he just kept staring at Niall, not knowing what to do or make of this, what this meant considering the fact that they were in hospital. This couldn't be, this had to be a very bad joke.

"They said I would die, I… I was just a child. But I didn't for some reason… for some reason I survived and I… I never got rid of that fear though, you know. Never. When I turned 18 I got the date tattooed, to remind myself that it really was alright, but… I've always been scared it'd come back. It was just adding up to the fact that I didn't wanna make any commitments with anyone, I… I didn't want to call it a relationship because I knew it was wrong to do that to you. It wasn't fair, none of it, not when I… not when it might possibly come back and ruin everything and I'd leave someone behind who'd cry for me, I… and when you told me you loved me… I couldn't have possibly let this carry on, not when we were getting in so deep, not when I shouldn't have started this to begin with, it was never fair to you. But I can't be without you and I realized that it's been the shittiest idea ever, I… I'm so sorry, Liam, I should've told you, but I was scared and I was hoping it wouldn't come back but then I got these headaches again right after we came back from the break and…I tried to ignore them but I was so terrified and I… I still don't know if it's that, they still gotta run some tests and scans, but… it sure as hell feels like it did when I was a child." The he looked into Liam's eyes again, just in time to see the older boy's first tears spill over. "Liam… "

"You… you got a brain tumor?" These words sounded so horrible that Liam shuddered, he couldn't believe this, couldn't look away from Niall's face as he covered his mouth with his hand, trying to choke back a sob. How was this fair?! Why hadn't the others fucking told him?! Niall couldn't die, he couldn't, he wasn't allowed to, Liam fucking needed him, this couldn't be true.

"They don't know yet, I'll find out tomorrow, but Li… please don't cry, please, I… I mean… if it's true then… then I could survive again, right? Doesn't mean I'd…" Die. But Niall gulped before bringing the word out and Liam couldn't help but break out into even more tears, pressing his eyes shut to try and force them back into his body but also because he was kinda hoping that once he opened them again, it'd all turn out to be a really bad dream.

But it didn't. "N-Niall… you c-can't, you… I need you, o-okay? We can… we c-can do this, I-I… "

"It's alright, Li… please stop crying, babe." There were tears pooling in Niall's eyes as well but Liam barely saw because his sight was all blurry as he pulled his hand out of the younger boy's, not thinking as he stood up to sit on the edge of the bed instead, immediately pulling Niall into his arms, but more being held by the blonde boy than the other way around. He knew he should've been strong for him, but… he couldn't hold back that sob as he pressed his face into Niall's shoulder, holding him so tightly he was sure the boy was hurting a little bit. "Shh, Liam, it's okay… they don't even know yet, yeah? And I came really soon, I… it'll be alright, I'm sure it will be, okay? I love you."

"I-I love y-you t-too…" But that wasn't enough to keep Niall alive, was it? 

"I know, Li, it's gonna be fine, I promise, I… it could be something else, right? Doesn't mean it's that bad, they even said that, we're just gonna have to wait and see, they can't check today because it's quite late and all, they need time to check the results too, but we'll know by tomorrow and if… if it's, you know… if it came back then… then I'm sure they can fix me again, okay?" Liam knew that the boy was just desperately trying to calm him down, maybe even lying to him too, but he tried to believe Niall, tried to tell himself that he knew what he was talking about, that it'd really be fine. But if they had thought he'd die back then… 

"N-Niall… what w-was it like? W-When you were… a c-child I mean." Trying really hard to calm down, Liam didn't really manage to force his voice to stop shaking, he felt Niall's fingers running through his hair, still pressing his face into the younger boy's neck, breathing in his familiar scent. He had felt so terrible before when he had thought about having lost the boy, but now that there was a chance he might lose him for real… it was unbearable. To think that that one thing Niall had been so terrified about might have happened, the one thing that had kept him from telling Liam he loved him, from being close to anybody. And now Liam was the one being a baby and crying while Niall tried to comfort him, he really needed to get himself together. 

"Well… of course we didn't know what it was and thought I was just sick and all. My parents didn't bring me to a doctor for a long time and even when they did the doctor also didn't really think much of it. But when it carried on and I started feeling worse so they did some scans and a test and well… you know what came out. I had to do chemotherapy too and all, it was awful and… and my parents weren't really there for me that much, I… I had no one basically. I also had no friends because… of what had happened in school and I… I thought I was gonna die. I almost thought it'd be better for everyone if I did, but… I survived. And from there on I… I wanted to change things, and so I did, don't know if it's been for the better, but… " This made Liam really angry for some reason, not because of Niall but his stupid family, who the hell left their child alone if they thought he was gonna die?!

Lifting his head slowly, Liam wiped the last few tears, determined to get it together now as he looked at the younger boy, still holding onto him though. "Ni, I… I'm so sorry… your parents are… sorry but they are fucking idiots, I can't even imagine what that must've felt like, I… I promise you're not alone this time, okay? I'm here and I won't leave until you're all good again. And the other guys are there too, we all care about you, so much and… none of us would ever leave you, I promise."

"I know…" There was a short smile as Niall moved his hand out of Liam's hair, his thumb softly wiping underneath the older boy's eye to catch a tear he hadn't even noticed. "But Liam, if it really… if it's really bad then… you don't have to stay, I mean… you still got uni to do and… and I should've never kept this from you and I don't want you to be sad if I-"

"No, stop. Nothing is going to happen, okay? And if you think I'd ever leave because of anything you say then you're wrong because I won't. Literally, you can't say anything that would make me leave now, I'm here and I'm staying and maybe I'll have to pay one of the nurses, but I won't leave the hospital until I can take you with me." Was Niall really thinking he'd get Liam to leave?! Who the hell would do that, after everything that had happened? "I love you."

"I… I love you too, Liam." He sighed a bit, probably because of Liam being so stubborn but then he smiled, leaning in and even though the older boy felt like he had a lot more to say to convince the boy, he still gave in of course as Niall's soft lips met his. They hadn't kissed in what felt like forever and Liam couldn't help but let out a sigh in relief, yeah he was scared and he had no idea what to do if they'd get bad news tomorrow but he loved Niall and knowing that the feeling was mutual was the best thing in the whole world. If only it hadn't had to come this far for them to realize it.

The kiss was only slow, Liam felt tears welling up again in the middle of it, grabbing tighter onto the younger boy to keep him close, trying to suppress his upcoming sadness and just focus on Niall for now, how he tasted, how his tongue felt against Liam's, his soft lips and his hands grabbing onto him. It was hard though with all these things going on in the back of his head, with this fear and the feeling of helplessness, of not being able to control any of what might come, not being able to do anything except for waiting. How had Niall managed to live with it for so long without ever telling anybody about it?

Liam managed to keep his tears in, smiling softly at Niall as they pulled apart and the younger boy rubbed their noses together, his breath hitting Liam's skin, his arms wrapped around the older boy's neck to still hold him close. "So… am I allowed to call you my boyfriend again?"

"If you want to." Niall laughed quietly but the sound still gave Liam chills, he was worried about the blonde boy, knowing exactly how good he was at holding things in and overplaying them, but he couldn't help it but be a little happy too about having him more cheerful again. For now at least.

"I'll always want to, Nialler." What kinda of question was that even?! Liam pecked the boy's mouth softly, not being able to hold back then, he didn't want to immediately get back to the topic again they were both trying to obviously avoid, but… how could he have done that, when they were here and all. "Ni… does it hurt? Your head I mean, I… or anything else?"

"No, it's okay for now, it… it does hurt but not a lot. It was a lot worse before when I was with Louis, but… I can ignore it for now." And then he smiled again, as if everything was fine and Liam didn't know what else to say as Niall let go of him, half lying back down on the bed, stretching his arms out towards the older boy. "Come on, lie down with me."

"Shouldn't we tell the others they can come back inside?" Feeling a bit guilty, Liam of course didn't say no though, he just dropped his shoes on the floor before lying down next to the younger boy, immediately taking him into his arms as Niall rested his head on his chest, curling up into him. 

"Later, I don't want to share you right now." Well, Liam surely couldn't argue with that, especially not when Niall seemed to be so comfortable now as Liam started stroking his hair and held him close, trying his very hardest to not overthink. 

What were they gonna do?

 

—————

 

In the end, Liam didn't have to pay anyone to be allowed to stay. The other 3 came back inside once Liam told them it was alright, but they kinda brought the mood down a little bit because they weren't trying so desperately to hold in their depressed moods, but they left once visitor hours were over, hugging both of them a bit too hard and Liam almost broke out into tears again there. But he didn't.

One of the nurses came in to check on Niall and Liam didn't know how the blonde boy did it but when she reminded Liam that he needed to leave, Niall started bawling basically, begging her to let him stay and she immediately did, kinda shocked almost, as was Liam. But once she had left, the younger boy had quickly calmed down again and Liam wasn't quite sure if he had just done this so he'd be allowed to stay or if that was how he truly felt.

His stomach hurt a little at the feeling that it was the second.

Since he hadn't slept much last night when Niall had come to his room, Liam didn't manage to stay up too long tonight, they were talking for a while and cuddling in bed but then Niall started chuckling, telling the older boy that it was fine and that he needed to go to sleep. So Liam did, he tried not to, but it was kinda hard when Niall was touching him like that and kissing his face so he gave in pretty quickly, even if his mind hadn't shut up for hours now, he somehow managed to drift off with Niall telling him how much he loved him.

When Liam woke up though, the bed felt pretty empty, which said something because it was small as hell. Trying to reach out for Niall with closed eyes, all Liam's hand found was his phone, the bright screen hurting his head but at least now he knew that it was already in the morning and also, that Niall was somehow gone.

There was a second or two where Liam felt alright, where he couldn't remember yesterday so clearly, but once he did, he was sat up immediately, panic rushing through him as he realized that his boyfriend was gone. He would've woken him though, if anything had happened, right right?!

Trying to get rid of his annoying sleepiness, Liam got out of bed immediately, they had pulled the curtains before going to sleep but once Liam let some light in to see the room more clearly, he noticed that it wasn't too light outside as well. Still, it got him scared thinking about that someone would get in here soon to get Niall for some more tests and scans, the ones that really mattered.

No one was in here though, but before Liam could freak out and lose his mind, he heard something coming from the bathroom that calmed him down the slightest bit. Maybe Niall had just gone to the bathroom. "Babe? You in there? Are you okay?"

There was no answer really and Liam got slightly suspicious as he tried the door handle, it wasn't locked though which was a huge relief at first, but once Liam stepped inside, that feeling had quickly washed away.

"Niall, what happened?!" The younger boy was on the floor next to the toilet, it was very clear that he had been throwing up, but he refused to look at Liam, having his legs pulled to his chest and his face buried in his hands, a quiet sob escaping him as the older boy rushed over, immediately getting to his knees. "Ni, are you okay? What happened, did you have to throw up?"

"Y-Yeah…" His voice was barely understandable, he sniffed rather loudly and Liam felt his heart breaking and tears building up. Why hadn't he woken him up?! And if he felt so bad already… what did that mean? "I'm s-sorry…"

"You don't have to be sorry, babe, I… hey, come on, it doesn't mean anything, yeah? Are you still feeling sick? Should I go get someone? How bad is it?" Right, moments like, these Liam really needed to be strong, he wanted to cry so badly now, it seemed impossible that all their talk from yesterday would still turn out to be true. That there was nothing wrong with Niall, because how could there have not been?! Liam had already been feeling like they would be getting bad news all along, but…. that didn't mean everything was lost, right?

"N-No… I j-just… L-Liam…" Then he was interrupted by another sob that caused Liam to let a tear escape as he sat down next to his shivering boyfriend, wrapping him up in his arms and pressing a kiss on the top of his head. If only he could've been holding him for so long that everything would be fine again. 

"What, babe? What is it?" Niall pressed into him, he was clearly terrified of what was gonna happen today, which was more than understandable, like… Liam had no idea how'd he react or how any of this would go down, what the chances were that… how was he gonna survive this? And even more importantly… what if Niall wouldn't?

"I d-don't… I d-don't w-wanna d-die…" Hearing him sob it out like this had Liam freezing up immediately, Niall hadn't been freaking out about this yesterday, it had been the complete opposite and the older boy had known he had just been trying to be strong and not let it get to him, but now that it was obvious how scared he really was, Liam couldn't help but give in to his tears as he pressed his face into Niall's hair. What if… what if he really did die? What was Liam supposed to do? How could he sit here and tell the boy it would be fine when he didn't even know whether it would be? When all the symptoms said something different? … how was he gonna live with himself knowing he had told the boy he'd be fine if he wouldn't make it in the end? More importantly, what the hell was Liam gonna do without him? He loved this boy, more than anything, he couldn't lose him, he wouldn't survive it.

But what could Liam have said to calm him? He needed to lie, he couldn't make him feel even worse, he needed to be there for him, not bother him with his own worries. "You won't, Ni, you're gonna be fine, I promise, everything will be alright, even if something bad comes out, that doesn't mean anything, okay? You won't die, Nialler."

"Y-Yes, I-I w-will, I-I-"

"Hey, shh, babe, listen to me, yeah? You won't die and no matter what happens today, I'm gonna be here with you and I won't leave your side and I'm gonna be here through whatever might happen, alright? I love you so much, Niall, you're not gonna die, babe, I promise, I still need you, do you think I could let you go so easily?" Yeah, it was a bad attempt at lightening the mood and Liam's forced laugh sounded kinda choked but he held on tighter anyways, praying for Niall to at least stop shivering a little bit. It was so awful to see him like this, to be in a situation like this with someone you truly loved, the one person that mean the every most to you, Liam had never felt anything like it. "You can do this babe, we can do it together, okay? I'm here, everything's alright."

"W-What i-if… w-what i-if I-I c-can't, L-Li? I-I d-don't w-wanna… l-leave y-you, I-I… I-Im s-scared w-without y-you… " Forcing his voice to still be calm and normal was the hardest thing ever, Liam just wanted to look at Niall's face and shower him with kisses, but he could barely even hold back the tears himself. He had no answer for the boy, no idea what would happen if he wouldn't make it, he also didn't wanna consider it.

So instead, he did the only thing that he knew might help both of them. "That's not even an option, okay? You _will_ make it, I know you will. And we don't even know, it might be something completely different, it might not even be that bad at all, right? Everything will be okay, how can it not be, you deserve it, Ni, you deserve for things to be the very best and I'm sure they will be. You're strong, babe, you can do this, this is about attitude too and if you really wanna make it then you will. And you don't have to be scared at all because I'm here, I'm always here whenever you need me, no matter when or what happened. I love you so much and I believe in you, we can do this, okay? Promise me you'll try and be strong, Ni, just do the best you can."

There was some more sobbing and Liam almost thought Niall was gonna ignore him when he almost choked on his words, trying to bury his face deeper into the older boy's chest. "I-I p-promise… L-Liam…"

"Yeah?" At this point, Liam was wishing for their places to be switched, maybe he could've taken this better than Niall, but knowing the boy must've been in pain, knowing how scared he was was the very worst. Liam knew Niall wasn't the boy that everyone else saw him as, he was much more than that, he felt way deeper than what all these fucking people on campus thought, he wasn't just some brainless idiot screwing all these girls. He was so wonderful and Liam wished the boy could've known that people would've loved him even if he would've just been himself all along, that he wouldn't have had to try and change himself because of what his stupid parents had told him. He was gonna make sure Niall knew how fucking much appreciated how was, and how loved, Liam was gonna do anything, once they were out of here, he was gonna make sure of it. And he needed to believe it himself, needed to be sure they WOULD be able to walk out of here together.

"I-If I-I m-make i-it… " Almost interrupting him right there, Liam bit his tongue instead, placing more kisses on the top of Niall's head and pressing his eyes shut to hold back his tears. Niall couldn't need them now, he had enough to deal with himself. "Y-You k-know… I-I… I-I w-was t-talking w-with L-Louis o-once… b-before I-I m-met y-you a-and… w-we w-were t-talking about m-maybe a-all… g-getting a f-flat i-instead o-of t-the d-dorms a-and… I-I k-know w-we h-haven't b-been d-dating for s-so l-long a-and I-I'd u-understand if y-you didn't w-want t-to b-but… "

"Of course I'd want to, Nialler, I… you know what, of course we're gonna do that, I know you're gonna be okay, babe, and if the others don't want to anymore it's fine and we can just do it ourselves, yeah? And then we don't have to be careful anymore if you come to my room and we can see each other so much more often. I think that's a great idea, actually, that's the best idea ever, I can't wait." Liam hadn't expected for Niall to say this but it gave him a little more hope, he so desperately wanted to do this, maybe with the others too, it'd be amazing and yeah, they had only been dating for about 2 months but he was sure he wanted this, he had never been so sure about anything at all actually. Niall was gonna make it, he had to.

"I-I… o-okay, a-and… w-we c-can t-tell e-everybody o-once I-I… g-get o-out of here, I-I… d-don't c-care a-anymore… " The shivering had stopped a little bit but he was still crying hard so Liam was kind of surprised when Niall pulled away slightly to look at him, his heart aching at seeing the boy's red and wet face, softly rubbing a thumb over his cheeks and under his eyes, trying hard not to tear up himself. 

"It's okay, babe, we don't have to, but we can think about this later, yeah? It's gonna be okay, we got time to talk this out, let's just get you back to bed for now, alright?" Liam pressed a few kisses into his face, his forehead, his nose, knowing that the boy couldn't feel so great right now but he agreed luckily, with a shaky nod, allowing Liam to help him back onto his feet.

Since Niall had thrown up, Liam helped him to the sink so he could wash his mouth a bit before simply picking him up in his arms to carry him back to the bed, not complaining when Niall wanted to stay in his lap afterwards, just cuddling up to him and letting Liam hold him and kiss whatever part of his face he could reach. They were gonna be alright, they HAD to be. 

Niall didn't really manage to calm down that much, he stopped shivering and crying for most of the part but Liam knew he was scared and he felt quite the same. Who knew what was gonna happen in a bit, no matter how many great plans they made about moving in together and telling everyone about their relationship and just being happy, there was still a great change they might never be able to do that. And knowing that scared the crap out of Liam.

He texted the others after a while, just to update them because they had asked and of course were worried about Niall too, but he told them to go to classes, that he was there with Niall and that it was fine. The younger boy probably couldn't have used them right now anyways, not even Liam knew what to tell him half of them time, he just held him and kissed him, making sure to sound positive and calm whenever Niall would start sobbing again. Deep down, Liam wanted to do just the same, just curl up and wait for this to be over, but he couldn't and he wouldn't.

When the doctor came in, Niall had managed to wipe his tears and his face color was back to normal, maybe a bit too pale, and he had also moved out of Liam's lap, still tightly pressed into his side though and holding his hand with both of his, his head resting on the older boy's shoulder.

"Good morning, how are you doing today?" It was a bit of a relief to have a professional here as well, he didn't look too hopeless so Liam tried to take that as a good sign even if it probably wasn't but he literally took anything to not lose hope and freak the hell out.

"I'm okay, I guess… " Niall's voice was quiet, it was obvious that he had been crying, even more when he rubbed his eye with one fist, still desperately clinging to Liam and the older boy returned the squeeze of his hand. He just needed to know it now, they just needed to know what was going on. "When… when will I know if I… if it came back?"

"Well… we wouldn't usually make these kinda tests right away, but because of what you told us and what's in your medical record, we're gonna make sure we know as soon as possible since time is a very important factor here. We're gonna take some blood now and then straight go to do some brain scans, if it's spread already we'll know right away, otherwise it might take a bit to look at it, but definitely today. Also because it'll be easier the sooner we start with the treatments." Well, at least he wasn't talking as if Niall was doomed to die, Liam tried to find comfort in that, but there seemed to be only one thing on Niall's mind anyways.

"Can Liam come too? I … I don't wanna go alone." His voice was shaking and the older boy immediately held on tighter, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head, not caring that they weren't alone.

"For the first part, yes, but he's gonna have to stay outside because it could be dangerous. But it won't take long anyways, a few minutes at most. Any more questions?" When Niall shook his head against Liam's shoulder the doctor attempted a smile that didn't come across very well though. At least he was trying. "Good, a nurse will come in a bit to take some blood. But don't worry, it might be something completely different."

"Okay…" Clearly, Niall didn't believe a word he said, but the doctor kept his smile up before leaving them alone again and the younger boy curled even more into Liam, pressing his face into his shoulder as Liam covered his cheek with his palm. "I don't wanna go alone, Liam… and I don't like needles."

"Hey, it'll be okay, babe, it's only for a few minutes, and I'm holding your hand while they take your blood, okay? I've had it done many times, it doesn't hurt too bad and if you don't look, it will only be half as bad anyways." Actually, Liam had never been through this procedure, but he was praying internally that he was right as he kissed Niall's hair. "I love you."

"I love you too…" It sounded like he was crying again, but Liam couldn't check because Niall refused to lift his head, he very obviously just wanted to be held by Liam and so the older boy did, wrapping his second arm around Niall too once the boy had let go of his hand, twisting his fist into Liam's shirt instead.

Turned out that Niall was _really_ bad with needles, the nurse was really nice and all but Niall was shivering so much that Liam felt the vibrations going through his own body, trying his best to find calming words for the boy and shielding his face when the boy pressed it into his shoulder again so he wouldn't have to look. It probably was a lot more though than a simple fear of needles, Liam doubted that Niall would have acted like this had this just been something harmless, which just showed even more how fucking exhausted and done Niall was. Liam hated that he'd have to let him go alone in a second, but he had no choice, he'd just have to wait and see.

"Alright, I'm sorry if that hurt." The nurse put a band aid over the tiny bruise but Niall barely even wanted to look at her, Liam felt kinda bad for her but he understood why Niall was being like this, he kinda felt like hiding away as well. "If you're ready I was told to bring you upstairs, your friend can come too but he's gonna have to wait outside, I'm sorry."

"I know…" Niall mumbled before taking a deep breath and slowly lifting his head from Liam's shoulder, pressing a kiss there over his shirt though and the older boy felt even worse as he rubbed his hand along the younger boy's arm. "I'm ready."

"Alright." Smiling a bit of a shaky smile, the nurse got up from where she had been sitting on the chair, waiting for Niall and Liam to do the same, the younger boy immediately intertwining his finger's with Liam's, keeping his head down though even as Liam kissed his forehead. What could he have said now?

Niall was almost ripping his arm off as they followed the nurse, Liam could hear him sniffing a bit sometimes but there was nothing he could have done except for saying some motivational words, try and be calm himself and hoping it'd transfer to Niall, but nothing really helped the younger boy and Liam took it as a hint to shut up and simply hold his hand. 

Walking through a hospital wasn't very calming for either of them, it got Liam even more scared, he was so terrified of what might happen now, of what the doctor had told them, that Niall might know right away. Which would mean he'd be told while he was all by himself without Liam there to support and hold him. Please let it be alright, please.

"Okay, they know you're coming. You can go in whenever you're feeling okay, alright? It shouldn't take too long." The nurse had brought them up with the elevator, stopping them in front of a door and touching Niall's arm for a second before leaving them alone and in silence for a bit. Liam had never felt this terrified in his whole entire life. 

"Niall, hey… it'll be okay, yeah? I'm right here, okay? You don't have to be scared, no matter what might happen in there, I'm here waiting for you, it'll be okay, babe. I love you." Liam hoped his words were somehow calming in whatever way, it didn't really seem like it though because Niall's face was more than pale as he looked at him, nodding though as he pressed their lips together unexpectedly, still holding onto Liam's hand.

"I love you too…" He mumbled against the older boy's mouth, slowly letting his fingers slip then and Liam felt like he was in a very awful movie when he watched Niall walk away and finally slipping through the door, feeling helpless as he was left behind to just wait.

 

——————

 

"I don't know what to do, I… what am I gonna do if he's gonna… if it's really bad, I… Louis, tell me what to do, I don't know how to handle this, I don't know what to tell him anymore, I… " Liam was freaking the fuck out, he had only been sitting in one of these plastic chairs for a little bit but he was already losing it, even more when Louis had called almost immediately, just in time, as if he had known. 

"Liam, try and be calm, okay? You gotta keep it together for Niall. Do you need us to come there? I can go grab the others and we'll be there in half an hour if you want." Somehow Liam wanted them to come but he was already shaking his head, as if Louis could see him, knowing that it wouldn't be much of a help. Especially not if Niall would come out of that door with bad news. 

"No, I… thanks for that but Niall will come back in a bit and… if it's bad I gotta be there for him. I just… I don't know what to do, I found him crying in the bathroom today, he's been throwing up and he … and he told me he didn't wanna die and I… what if he does, Lou?! What am I gonna do, I love him so much, I can't… I can't do this, I wouldn't survive it if he died, I couldn't deal with it, I've never felt anything like this for anybody. And he's been telling me how it feels exactly the same as last time, what if he… what if he dies, I-"

"Liam, Liam, stop, okay? You don't know anything yet, you don't know yet if it's even a tumor, alright? I can't imagine how you're feeling right now because if this was Harry, I… I'd absolutely lose it too. But you can't do anything now, Liam, you just have to wait what will come out, and if it's bad that still doesn't mean it's over. He was cured once, right? He can be cured again, it doesn't mean he's gonna die, there are treatments, nothing is decided right at this second even if he does have a tumor. Just try and be calm, I know it's hard, Li, but he did it once, he can do it again, and he needs you to be there for him, be calm for him, okay?" Louis' words sounded smart, so Liam tried to take a breath, which was hard but he did it. The hallway was way too empty and too silent for him to be calm, but he also couldn't hear anything through the wall and maybe… maybe he didn't even want to.

"I know, I'm trying, I really am, but it's just so hard, I… I can't lose him, I've never felt like this for anyone. You know, before, he was suddenly telling me how you guys have talked about all getting a flat together instead of dorms and asked me if I would want that too and I… hell, there's nothing I'd want more, Lou, and now that he's told me everything and that I'm sure he loves me too and that we wanna stay together… now everything is getting so complicated and I… I don't think I could do this, Louis, if he dies, I… " Yeah, Liam didn't wanna end this sentence but it was how he truly felt, he only knew this boy for such a short time and he already felt like this, but he couldn't help himself, he knew he shouldn't have told Louis, just… who else would he have told?

"Okay, listen to me, Liam. If something does happen to Niall, then you can't do anything to yourself because of that, okay? I know that you're in the shittiest position ever right now and that you might be thinking of doing really bad things to yourself, but you can't, alright? You have us and you have a family to think of, and I know this sounds so bad to say but that's how it is. Niall wouldn't want that either, he needs you to be there for him and even if he doesn't make it, you have to carry on, for him, okay? Promise me, Liam, I'm worried shitless about the both of you and if you don't promise me then I'm gonna come over there right now." See, that's why it hadn't been a good idea.

"I… I promise." Liam wasn't sure if he really meant it, he suddenly felt like he wouldn't care anymore about a promise to his best friend if Niall really would die, he probably wouldn't care about anything at all. Maybe… maybe if he did kill himself after this it wouldn't be so bad, they could've still been together at least, right? He wouldn't have had to suffer and he could be with Niall. Somehow, that thought was a bit calming. 

"Okay, thank you." It sounded really relieved and Liam felt bad for having such thoughts, just… he knew Louis would've thought the same had this been Harry. "It'll be okay, Li, he's strong, he can do this, I know he can. Don't lose hope now, nothing is lost, even if he comes out with bad news, it'll be alright."

"Yeah, I hope so… " Not even Louis sounded too motivated, he was just repeating the same things over and over again and Liam was worried he sounded the same whenever he told these things to Niall. "Hey, Lou, I… I think he's gonna come out in a bit, I… I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay, Li, take care, yeah? Love you." Well, Liam didn't need to take any care of himself now, not if Niall was gonna walk out of this door with tears streaming down his face.

"Love you too." As soon as he had hung up, Liam felt really scared and helpless again, the hallway was too empty and quiet again and he felt like he couldn't breathe properly anymore. Suddenly he was sure Niall really had a tumor and that it'd end bad, somehow he was seconds from freaking out now and just going inside.

Niall didn't come out for another ten minutes, it felt more like 10 hours though, Liam had already started walking up and down, not even expecting it anymore when the door did open though, but when it did, he almost fell over his own feet trying to get a look at the younger boy's face. He wasn't crying at least, that was something. "You okay, babe? Did they say anything?"

When he shook his head slowly, Liam could've cried from relief, but Niall didn't seem too cheerful so he held back, waiting for the boy to close the door before wrapping him in a quick hug, pressing his lips on the top of his head. "We're gonna have to wait and see, that's all they said, it could still be anything, but…"

"But what?" Immediately, Liam's heart sped up as he pulled away softly, cupping Niall's face in his hands, already feeling his stomach twist into knots. 

"They also said that last time, it… it doesn't mean anything." He shrugged, leaning a bit into Liam's touch before turning his head to kiss the boy's palm, his hand coming up to pull one of Liam's away from his face, intertwining their fingers. He already looked defeated and Liam hated this mored than anything in the world. "Come on, let's go… "

"Ni, it's also not bad, if they haven't found anything now then that means it hasn't spread, it means that if there is something wrong they will know it in the early stages and it'll be a lot easier to do something." At least that's what Liam was trying to tell himself because the younger boy barely reacted, he pulled his hand a bit, holding onto Liam's wrist with his other hand too as they walked back to the elevator.

"I guess so… " Was all he said and Liam had to suppress a sigh, he knew that Niall was right, there was no reason to be overly happy about this, it could still end bad and they both knew it, Liam had just been trying to lighten the mood a bit. Which seemed like an impossible thing to do though.

"Louis called." Liam didn't want any silence between them, he didn't want them to just be quiet and not talk anymore, he needed to keep the conversation up or else they'd both get stuck in thoughts and there was nothing more toxic than that. He needed to know what Niall was thinking, needed to keep him busy and distract him somehow. "He said he and the boys could come visit… if you want to. I told him they should stay at uni, but I can call him back and tell him to come."

"No, it's okay, I… I'd rather be alone with you to be honest, I… if they're gonna come and tell me it's back then… I just want you to be there and not the others… " That was understandable and also the way Liam's thoughts had gone, he squeezed the boy's hand a little bit, pressing a kiss to his temple as they waited for the elevator to go one floor down. Sitting in Niall's room now and waiting seemed to be the worst torture of it all.

"It's okay, I told them they don't need to come and I'm here, I'm sure they understand." Not that Liam really cared about that, he was just worried and he felt awful yet he was still trying to play it up for Niall, even if they both knew it was just an act.

When they came back to the room, Niall went to sit on the bed again, he looked quite depressed and Liam had no idea what to tell him anymore, all he did was try a small smile as he leaned down to kiss him on the lips softly before sitting down next to him and leaning back against the pillow. The mattress was adjustable so he was still more sitting up, his heart bumping a bit faster as Niall crawled over into his lap immediately, intertwining his fingers with Liam's over his stomach as he leaned his head against the older boy's shoulder. "Should we like… watch TV or so, I… I don't know how long it's gonna be, could be hours for all I know… "

"If you want to, of course we can." Liam would've preferred if they didn't, but he also couldn't say no when Niall let go of him momentarily to get the remote, holding Liam's hand again as soon as he had turned on the TV in the corner and found something alright to watch, his warm back pressing comfortably into the older boy's chest. "Niall…"

"Hm?" There was just some soap on, Liam was doubting that any of them were really watching but maybe it was still a tiny bit distraction, he felt his tummy twisting into knots whenever he thought about what would happen if that door opened again.

"Just… because of what you said before when… about how you and Louis were talking about getting a flat with the others, I… did you really mean that? That you'd want to like… move in with them kinda, and with me?" The last part was the more important one, Liam was just trying to talk about happier things, give them something to look forward to and to hope for.

"Of course I did, Li… can't imagine anything better than moving in with you. And if the others were there too, like… it'd be great, wouldn't it? I mean we'd probably have to be really quiet and Louis and Harry would have to be as well, but… I'd really love that." He let out a sigh that could be interpreted many ways, Liam found himself smiling for a second, tightening his arms a bit as he turned his head to kiss the side of Niall's, feeling himself freeze slightly at what the younger boy said. "I wish we'd really be able to do that…"

"We are, Nialler, once this is over it's the first thing we'll do, okay?" Maybe Liam shouldn't have promised him so much but he couldn't help it, he wanted this to work out so badly, he just needed to believe that this was gonna turn out well, for the both of them, because it seemed Niall had already given up hope.

"Hmmm… okay." It didn't sound very believable but Liam let him be when Niall cuddled closer into him, just holding him and pretending to be watching TV when in reality, he was focusing on Niall's breath, praying internally for the doctor to come soon and tell them it was nothing. Just, why did it feel so impossible that Niall really was fine, what else could it have been? 

The younger boy almost slept in a few times, which got Liam a little bit worried thinking about that he had no idea if Niall had even slept at all last night and it got him feeling guilty too because he hadn't stayed awake with him. Still, he nudged the boy gently whenever he felt he was about to pass out, he'd hate to only wake him up when they were already about to get the news. Niall always mumbled something then, sounding a bit annoyed and Liam couldn't help but chuckle softly, Niall was so cute when he was sleepy. 

Several hours passed by like this, they watched TV, Louis called again, Niall almost slept in a few more times and they kissed a lot, only slowly though and not too eager, Liam couldn't have really thought of anything like this right now, he felt himself getting more anxious as the minutes passed by and the later it got, the more he noticed Niall getting more nervous as well.

It was hard to keep themselves distracted and not talk about it, internally, Liam had kinda started telling himself that Niall really did have a tumor but that he'd be fine either way, it kinda seemed impossible now that the boy would be fine, not after everything going on.

Also, Niall's headache seemed to come back a bit harder, he tried to hide it from from Liam for a bit, but the older boy noticed anyways when Niall started rubbing his temples a bit, wordlessly pulling him back into his arms to just hold him, praying that it wasn't too bad since there was nothing he could've done to help him.

When there was finally a short knock on the door, Niall sat up so suddenly that Liam flinched slightly, his heart speeding up ten times faster as he quickly turned off the TV, reaching out to wrap his arms around the younger boy. It'd be fine, no matter what happened, they'd be alright, wouldn't they? They had to be.

It was a different doctor this time and his facial expression could've meant everything really, there was still tension going through the younger boy's body and Liam squeezed him a bit, close to tears again because… what the fuck was he gonna do?! "Good evening, you are… Niall Horan, correct?"

"Y-Yeah… " Niall's voice was really shaky, when Liam threw a side look at his face he thought he could see the boy's eyes getting teary again, almost having to force himself to look away again, like… what the fuck was he gonna say to him if it were bad news? How would they handle this?!

"Alright, now, do you want to hear this by yourself or is it alright if your friend hears it too?" Okay, they were doomed, that question alone… 

"He can… hear it too… " The fact that Niall's voice was so breathless already let Liam know that he was thinking the exact same thing. Shit. Liam wanted to cry, like, what was the point now, if they already knew, why was this doctor making it so fucking obvious?!

"Alright, I'm just checking so I'm not saying anything wrong… " And he made them wait even longer by checking something in his papers or whatever, Liam was about to burst, he already felt his tears building up, already felt his whole life flashing before his eyes kinda, and then… "Alright, we didn't find anything at all, there's nothing unusual on the scans or anything, you seem to be perfectly fine."

"Wait… what?" Niall sounded as unbelievable as Liam felt, he couldn't even feel relieved like… how could this be? Then what had all his pain been about, what the hell was going on, had he switched the files with someone else?! "Are you being serious?! I have _nothing_?!"

"Well, you do seem to have a tendency to get really bad migraines, but that could've been increased by your physical condition. Like a lot of stress for example, and I can imagine you were quite worried since you already had the same symptoms before and that it would again turn out to be a brain tumor so that hasn't helped your headaches either. But as I said, there's nothing wrong aside from that, you're perfectly healthy." Now the doctor's face did light up a little and Liam didn't even know what to think or how to react, he just blankly stared, feeling like a right up idiot for already having thought of the worst. And now Niall was… perfectly healthy?! How… how could that even be?!

"So, I… I could just like… go now if I wanted to?" Niall still sounded breathless, Liam was sure his arm was too tight around the boy's waist by now but he barely even noticed, he still couldn't believe this, was still thinking this was a fucking joke, but… but it wasn't. Niall was fine for god's sake! Unbelievable, how fucking lucky were they?!

"Of course. Although I would advice you to sometimes come in for check ups maybe, once a year or so, it'd also take a lot of stress off of you." Yeah, that sounded really smart, but Liam couldn't really think about it that much, he could feel a smile spreading on his face as he looked over to Niall, the boy's eyes were wide and his face still pale, it seemed to have not fully gotten through to him yet. "Either way, you can leave any time you want to, unless you have any more questions…?"

"I-I… no, I don't I… thank you so much." His voice cracked a little bit, but for the very first time Liam wasn't feeling his heart breaking for hearing it, he couldn't stop himself from smiling now, he was about to just grab Niall and squeeze him until both of them had run out of breath. He was fucking healthy, his baby was alright!

"Alright, for your migraine there's not much we can do, although I do think now it's gonna get a lot better. Also, you might want to try and stay out of stressful situations as much as possible. But that being said… have a good day. Both of you." And then he left with half a smile and Liam couldn't hold back anymore, he wrapped both of his arms around the younger boy who still seemed to be in shock, pressing his lips against his cheeks a few too many times. Fuck, how could they have had so much luck?!

"Fuck, Ni, you… you're healthy, I can't… I can't fucking believe this, you're fine, we can just… we can just fucking go home now!" Liam was aware that he was being way too loud but he didn't care, he let out an involuntary laugh, placing more kisses all over Niall's face before the younger boy hugged him back equally as tight. 

"I k-know, I… I thought I-I'd…" And then he broke out into tears, which was understandable, Liam felt his own eyes getting wet as he kept on holding the younger boy, rocking him gently and rubbing his back but still smiling nevertheless. This was the best day of his entire life. "S-Shit, I… I-I'm sorry, I j-just… I w-was s-so scared, I w-was so-so s-sure…"

"I know, babe, me too, it's okay, everything's alright now, everything's good." And for the first time today, it was even the truth. "I love you so much."

"I-I l-love y-you…" They kept on clinging to each other for a while and Niall cried all the way through it, but Liam wasn't trying to get him to stop for once, he was too happy, he knew the boy was shocked, he knew how scared he had been because he had felt much the same. But now they were gonna be okay and it felt like a fucking dream to be honest. Nothing would ever top this. 

When they pulled apart slowly, Niall's face was all red and wet but he was smiling this huge smile Liam had missed so much, the boy was so gorgeous, in every situation and he suddenly felt so much love and affection for him, he couldn't help but press their lips together tightly, kissing him deeply and tasting some of Niall's tears. Fuck, he only now realized how long they hadn't kissed properly, all carefree and just focusing on each other, having their hands in every place possible, just feeling the other, they hadn't been so happy in what felt like forever.

Liam only parted from the younger boy when he felt himself running out of breath, smiling against Niall's mouth before leaning back a bit to look at him, he was still crying but Liam caught some of the tears with his lips, stroking his hand through the blonde hair. They could just go home now and everything would be fine, there were no secrets between them anymore, everything was alright and that was more mind blind blowing than Liam could've ever imagined.

"Do you wanna… do you wanna go, Ni?" No matter what, Liam wasn't gonna bother with anything anymore today except for calling Louis and telling him everything as shortly as possible, and then he'd just stare at his wonderful, gorgeous boyfriend and never ever let him go again. And he'd also kiss him for so long that their lips would be bruised tomorrow. 

"Y-Yeah… let's go." Niall was so happy now, he randomly let out these laughs and he was smiling the whole time through, wiping his tears before kissing Liam yet again, over eagerly, giggling a bit when the older boy tickled his side softly, not wanting to let go just yet. Fuck, this was so good, he was so in love and life was so perfect right now, they were so fucking lucky, it was unbelievable.

It took them less than a few minutes to get all their stuff and leave, never letting go of each other or letting more than two minutes pass without sharing a kiss and a big smile.. This seemed like a dream, but Niall's arm around his waist felt too real and the boy's taste in his mouth was too present, this was reality and Liam had never known it could feel this wonderful.

"I can't believe this, Li, I… I was so scared, all this time, I should've come here way sooner to get this checked, I just… I was so terrified. And now turns out I was just maybe a bit too stressed out over not having told you and the whole situation in general, about keeping our relationship a secret, but I… but I'm never ever gonna keep anything from you again, I'll tell you everything from now on, I love you so much, Liam. So freaking much." The older boy's stomach got warm at this as Niall shook his head in disbelief, pressing a kiss onto Liam's shoulder as they were walking and he tightened his arm around the blonde's shoulders. He really should've called Louis but he wanted to share this moment with Niall for a moment, only the two of them.

"I love you so much too, Ni, I understand why you didn't tell me. I mean I wish you did and also that you would've gotten it checked sooner so you wouldn't have had to be so terrified about it, but I understand that you didn't. This is a really serious thing and I think I would've probably done the same. But hey, babe… you're all good now, you're all healthy and everything is fine and I get to keep you for so much longer… I still can't believe his." Shaking his head a bit, Liam couldn't help but let out another breathless laugh, not caring that a few people turned their heads around since they were already outside. He had never felt this happy.

"Me either. And you get to keep me for as long as you want to, Liam, you're not getting rid of me so easily, you can't even go to your room anymore if you don't wanna see me because it'll be _our_ room once this semester is over and we've found a flat with the others." True, oh god, Liam had almost forgotten about this but it gave him butterflies, he barely even watched his step now because he wanted to stare at Niall, kiss his forehead and shower him in love, share smiles with him every ten seconds.

"I would never ever wanna get rid of you, Ni, you can trust me with that one, you're the most important thing to me in this entire world and maybe that sounds crazy but it's the truth, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, Niall, the most amazing person I've ever met and you also make me into a better person and I love that. I love _you_ and I love everything about you. And I'm gonna make sure everyone knows just how gorgeous and perfect you are, because it's the truth and you don't have to try and be someone else for that, I fell for you, but not because I thought you were cool and popular but because you let me see your weak sides too, Niall, and I love them, just as much as everything else about you. And I know you had a hard past, but… I'll help you to get over this, I'll help you through anything, I'm always there, whatever you need. You're so much more than people think, Niall, and just because they know your outside and judge you for whatever, it doesn't mean they're right, it's what's on the inside that matters and maybe that sounds cliché but it's the truth. And I love you, for all of this, for your strengths and weaknesses and I'm so thankful you let me see all these sides of you and trusted me enough to show me and tell me all these things. I just… I'm so in love with you." Liam felt slightly breathless after this, he had just kept talking and talking, but it was true and it had felt essential to get out.

Niall stayed quiet for a moment, Liam felt his phone vibrating in his pockets but he didn't pick up just yet, he waited for an answer instead and though the younger boy didn't say much, he said enough to cause Liam's smile to get even wider. "Li, when we're back at campus… hold my hand, yeah? No matter who's there to see."

And Liam couldn't help himself but stop them right there in public, softly cupping Niall's face and waiting for silent permission first before kissing the boy hard, feeling his arms wrapping tightly around his waist, kissing back just as eagerly. This maybe was their first kiss in public but it surely wouldn't be the last, Liam knew that no relationship was perfect and that they'd have their ups and downs, but for him they were perfect for each other and he couldn't fucking wait for what would happen in the future, now that everything was fine, now that they had so many plans with each other and had gotten rid of all the things standing between them. 

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so thats it! hope you all liked the last chapter too and thank you so much for sticking around and leaving me so many nice comments and kudos! :D


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